Chapter 5
Following my scholarly pursuits I managed to procure a book that shows many amazing animals I had never heard of before, such as a one-horned “unicorn” and a man that turns into a wolf at night called a “lycanthrope.” The one that I shared with my council was the “sciapod,” which was a tribe of one-legged men, purportedly in Ethiopean lands, who had a single large foot that they used to provide shade from the hot African sun. My whole council roared with laughter; the normally serious Bishop Haeran even fell out of his chair. Silly Europeans, everyone knows there is no such creature here—they are further south, across the arid wasteland where it is much more hot.
Doom falls on us like a sickle harvesting the Gesho to make tej.
1) This is how villagers smash the cut Gesho to make tej. 2) Is it closing time yet? I could use a cool glass of tej.
We all hoped that God would protect the last of His true believers, but how well did that fare for Axum? No, in our hearts we knew it was only a matter of time before doom fell on us like a farmer’s sickle harvesting the Gesho to make tej. Sure enough, ignoring his mayor’s advice to spare me (my chancellor’s only pal there), the Caliph issues his declaration of war against us. His stated casus belli:
Holy War to wrest the Shiekdom of Gondar,
profaned by the wicked Orthodox Christian infidels,
from the vile clutches
of the unholy Zagwa Dynasty.
Did he not notice that we are not even Orthodox? We are Monophysite! I send a messenger to my chancellor to have this matter cleared up, but I doubt the Caliph will be one for such distinctions. The reaping sickle is falling upon us.
The Shia Caliphate is headed by the banu Fatimiyyun dynasty, which has ruled in Egypt for some 100 years. Originally from further west in Northern Africa, the dynasty arrived in Egypt in the 900s and quickly took control. At age 41, Caliph al-Mustansir has already outlived his father and his father’s father and rivaled the lifespan of most of the rest of his paternal line. Until his great-grandfather Caliph al Aziz, the men had been diligent and generous. They could be wroth and zealous, too, but also just and garrulous. Their generations were conquerors, but they were also builders and diplomats par excellence. His grandfather, Caliph al Aziz, had been both wroth and kind as well, but a different bent of mind crept into the line that would turn the future caliphs inward: al Aziz was also abnormally shy in a world that demanded him to be confident with all.
A shy, lunatic zealot. Have someone else watch your children.
When it came to al-Mustansir’s grandfather, Caliph al-Hakim, he was shy and zealous, but he was also a lunatic. His own father, al Aziz, needed to take bold steps with this future ruler, but excessively shy al Aziz was not up to the task regarding his lunatic son. A generation later, in his turn left to be raised by a stark, raving madman, Caliph al-Hakim, became paranoid, cynical, and envious. The banu Fatimiyyn dynasty turned from being builders and diplomats to exploiters, conquerors who demanded that their imported Turkish warrior-slaves—the Mamluks—shed their blood in war instead of the free subjects.
So the current ruler, Caliph al-Mustansir, raised by the twisted mind of al-Hakim, itself battled with a twisted mind. To some degree, though, Al-Mustansir rose above his upbringing by becoming kind and trusting. But his victory over his father’s problems was not complete. Al-Mustansir could also be greedy, craven, and lustful in his efforts to satisfy his rampant desires and hide from his many fears. Still, Caliph al-Mustansir, with the support of his temperate, brave, and kind wife, vowed to be a better father for his own children. And in some ways he succeeded in changing the bloodline for the better, and in some ways he did not.
As the eldest of Caliph al-Mustansir's grown sons, Prince Abu Mansur al-Nizar tries to conform to the image of the responsible son, reflected in his zealousness and moderation in food and drink. His feeling of personal slights, however, have fueled his inappropriate wroth and his secret self, the habitual liar. He has now two emirates and four shiekdoms to his name, a couple of which were granted only a few years ago, and for which the prince is still grateful. His fondness of his father is, however, tempered by his burning desire to be Emir of Alexandria, a position that has gone to his younger brother, al-Majid. His fondness is also tempered by his fear that his father will again slight him in favor of the second born.
Despite appearances to the contrary, Abu mansur and al-Majid are not married to the same woman.
Prince al-Majid is the second born, the brother who has six shiekdoms and one emirate, the Emirate of Alexandria. He is brave and honest, though envious and proud. He is the Caliph al-Mustansir’s acknowledged favorite, and the object of envious hatred by his two adult brothers. The “Turkish” succession laws are Agnatic Open: a kind of meritocracy in which whoever has the most and best titles inherits the throne. For a long time, al-Mustansir has ensured that al-Majid had the most or best titles, and so he would be his heir. The jewel of his titles is, of course, the Emirate of Alexandria, which has become the concrete thing that his brothers focus their envy and anger on. Both desperately want this title, which they have tied to the throne in their minds, and both would kill for it. Al-Majid is oblivious to this enmity, though, and he is also oblivious to the limits of his martial talents: he persists in asking his father for the post of marshal, though he has precious little native ability. It is a testament to the Shia Caliphate that council offices are placed based on merit, not favor.
Ambitious, envious, and a Pretender... Would you make this guy your vassal?
Prince al-Mustali is the third born, and the neglected son. He has no landed titles. He desires to be spymaster, which he would be competent at, but at this his father laughs in derision, practically in the same breath as he takes al-Majid’s ludicrous request for the post of marshal seriously. Al-Mustali despises his father with all his being. His hatred has twisted his personality in every direction: chaste, envious, ambitious, craven, and arbitrary. He is kept penniless, reliant on his father’s largess for everything, which angers him further. Although al-Mustali is 21 years old, his father has never bothered to secure him a wife, which al-Mustali takes as further evidence that he will be treated this way indefinitely, unless he takes matters into his own hands.
In a family with tensions such as this, a glance can be taken to convey a message, a chance word can be taken to carry important meaning. al-Mustali demanded his chance to earn a landed title in the war against Axum, and he was appointed general in the fight. His ambition and envy so consumed him that he was able to overcome his cravenness; he even managed to lead the army effectively and victoriously. In fact, much as I ensured that Axum would not get any of Harer, al-Mustali ensured that only the Caliph, and none of his vassals, would get any of Axum. Al-Mustali felt that his father had indicated that this had earned him the Shiekdom of Axum, but yet his greedy father held onto the prize. In this new war against my Abyssinia, al-Mustali has again demanded his chance to earn a landed title, and he has again been placed at the head of command. He now whips the troops onward towards my land with a vengeance, desperate to prove once and for all that he deserves land and a rule of his own.
Why is it these infidels' lack of parenting skills means they must exhaust their aggressions against my kingdom? Couldn't they just poison each other like civilized people?