Episode LVI: BeauTver and the Beast
Imperial Palace, City of Tver, 1635
Mountains of paper role majestically above the desk of Czar Aleksandr V, Emperor of Tver and All The Russias, King of Poland (disputed) and Archduke of Prussia. The fine mahogany table protested under the weight like a horse that has had a rhinoceros loaded onto its back.
The Czar, tall, lean, blonde and monocled, was in his element.
'Paper, Mikulski! The foundations of empire, the backbone of administration! Hem. Without paper, an empire is nothing! Just talk and thoughts, twisting in the wind, rattling in the skulls of politicians!'
Captain Mikulski, temporary Captain of the Guard, veteran of the Bohemian Wars and Chief Spymaster, did not share his liege lord's enthusiasm – in fact, he had never been to Liege. Though it sounded like a place of high
standards.
'I'm sure you're right, sir.'
'I am, Mikulski! Ah, the workings of the Empire of Tver, laid before me like painting of the heavens. These bills and statistics are clearer to me than any map. Hem. Through them, I see my realm, every detail, every nook and cranny.' He sighed. 'Well, that's not what we're here for though, is it?'
'No, sir. Recruitment! Of a new Captain of the Guard, Chief Advisor, et cetera.'
'Well, I've been looking at these applications all morning. Nothing standing out. No candidates that grab me by the throat and say “ give me this job”.'
'Lucky, as I would be duty bound to relieve them of their noggin.'
'Metaphorically, Mikulski, metaphorically. Ah, would be so easy if we had another Dobczyński. Keep it in the family! Hem. Makes succession so easy.'
'Afraid not, sir. He doesn't have any children. Well. Not married anyway. Married to Tver, Mirin was.'
'Admirable dedication, but it has rather buggered the matter of his replacement! And I must debugger it!'
'De-bug for short?'
'Shorthand, Mikulski? I like it. Efficient. Well, we can return to it later. How are the markets?'
'The rouble is up three points against the florin, sir, and seven against the goat.'
'Splendid.'
'Even better, productivity in Kursk is at an all-time high.'
'But we withdrew the magistrate from Kursk three months ago.'
'I suspect that may have been a factor, sir.'
'Well then, time to harvest those lovely taxes! And file them. Record them. Hem. Safeguard them! Benignly, of course.'
'So! My coffers are replenished. Time for battle!'
'Battle?'
'Well, there are Danes in Podlasie.'
'We should take stock of the situation.'
'Indeed.'
'Białystok, to be exact.'
'March forth! We shall drive them from our territories!'
'Don't you want to delegate to a more military-minded person? Like, you know,
me?'
'I must see it for myself, Mikulski! I will direct this operation personally! Hem. Now! Sword! Armour! Profit!'
The renewed offensive against Denmark swiftly bore fruit. Fresh troops were deployed to the north-western front, and the results were impressive. Tverian forces advanced quickly through Denmark's Finnish provinces, driving the enemy before them. Between them, Mikulski and General Sheleshpansky were pushing the Danish threat back from the Empire's heartland.
Czar Aleksandr leaned back in his chair and smiled a contented smile.
'The Danes will soon be in full retreat, Mikulski. We will sweep them out of our provinces, maybe take some money for the trouble, then we...Mikulski?'
Mikulski's face was not that of a happy man. He handed over the document in his hand.
'Bad. Bad, bad, bad. Are we certain that this isn't just another membership application?'
'Much as I like strong members, sir, I doubt it. They think that they can beat us while we're distracted by the Danes.'
'And retake Poland. They can't have it, Mikulski! This is war! Hem. Time for business. Serious business!'
'Very serious, sir.
'Our enemies are advancing.'
'I have advice, sir, but I don't think you'll like it.'
'Hit me.'
'Now? Didn't know you were into that kind of thing.'
'I mean [i]advise me[/i].'
'Oh. You might have to pay off Denmark.'
'But we are winning.'
'But we need to withdraw our forces from the north-west to face Bohemia. Denmark won't accept a white peace, and marching on their heartlands would take months. We don't have that when Bohemia is advancing fifty thousand troops – plus assorted allies – on gentle Tver, armed with pointy implements and wicked thoughts.'
'And if we focus on Bohemia...'
'The Danes aren't so far from Tver either, sir.'
'I see. Oh, very well. It dents my pride, but better my pride than my city.'
[img]http://i1195.photobucket.com/albums/aa398/kszmullins/0625ducforDANpax_zps6c90323b.png
The Danes placated, the armies of Tver were able to focus on their western enemy once more.Studying the tactics used in the last conflict with the Czechs, Aleksandr assembled his forces and marched in the direction of Silesia, intending to use the Empire's previously negotiated military access to launch an attack on Bohemia's home province. If Prague could be taken before the Bohemians made any headway in Tver's provinces, this war could be over very quickly: and Tver had nothing to gain from a protracted conflict.
En route, however, the Czar was brought very surprising news.
'Sir...what's your opinion on Latvia?'
'Lovely, I hear. Not profitable, I hear, though Riga itself is fairly rich and we have a strong claim on the city. Hem. For future expansion. Why?'
'You might get a chance sooner than you think.'
'What the devil are they playing at, Mikulski?'
'No idea, sir. No allies, a small army. Maybe this one
is an application for membership.'
'Well. Can we spare the troops?'
'Riga is only a short detour on the route from Denmark's Finnish provinces to Bohemia, sir. Our troops are going that way anyway.'
'Then so be it! We have a claim on them anyway. Why wait? Our reputation will worsen, but it is time for decisive action? Besides,
they attacked us...'
The attack on Bohemia did not go as planned, however. While a large enemy force had made their way into Tverian territory, another had remained behind in reserve, larger and more powerful than the Czar's personal army. Reluctantly – 'inefficiently', as the man himself put it – the Imperial army retreated.
The acquisition of Riga, far from sending a fearsome warning to the other nations of the Baltic coast, was taken by another old enemy as the signal to attack. The Hochmeister sidelines by illness, Kapellmeister Wilhelm E. Kojot followed the ex-Duke of Riga's lead and declared a state of war between the Teutonic Order and the Empire of Tver.
Twenty-three thousand Tverian soldiers, fresh from conquering Riga, took the opportunity for aBaltic holiday. The annexation of Riga had further dented Tver's reputation, though, and as much as the Czar would have liked to annex the Order and give their last province to the Duchy of Prussia, he decided it more prudent to settle for renunciation of claims and cancellation of the Order's alliances.
Meanwhile, with Bohemia laying siege to Kraków, the route towards the enemy's capital was open once again.
'A rapid thrust, Mikulski! Deep and hearty!'
'Nothing I like better than...no, that's not my line...'
'The road to Prague, Mikulski! A chance for you to return! See the sights! And lay siege to their fortifications while you're at it.'
The siege of Prague did not last long. With no enemy forces within a hundred kilometres, Mikulski's (or Mikulinsky as he was known to the Russian troops under his command) army assaulted the walls and swiftly captured the city. Their armies busy attacking Tver's western provinces, the capital of Bohemia had once again fallen into the Empire's hands.
The king of Bohemia surrendered to Czar Aleksandr in exchange for reparations, cessation of Bohemian claims to Tver's Polish provinces, and the annulment of alliances and vassalisations. While still strong, the Bohemian threat to the Empire had once more been averted. Finally, after years of warfare, Tver was once again at peace.
The Czar cracked open a bottle of the finest Italian wine, and clinked glasses with Mikulski.
'A fine victory, Mikulski, and more territory gained!'
'Yes sir. Time for some quiet years, I think. Recover the Empire's reputation.'
'Diplomat Sheleshpansky has his hands full.'
'Too many Sheleshpanskies in this country.'
'You can't have too many Sheleshpanskies! Ancient protectors of Tver, a family of honest servants! But it can be confusing. I may start renaming them. Improve efficiency, reduce confusion.'
'I'm sure you're right, sir.'
'Well, a few more applications then. Paperwork never hurt anyone.'
'Apart from that anaemic clerk in the tax office.'
'Ah...what happened to him?'
'Paper cut. Bled to death.'
'Heavens.' Czar Aleksandr sighed. Look at this! A group of metalworkers from Kharkov, applying to be my chief advisors!'
'The common touch can be handy, but...maybe not them. Well, if not the smiths, what about this charming man?'
'Consul Davidov? A mediocre diplomat, nothing special. Not what I need'. A pause. The Czar looked, as often, deep in thought.
'Mikulski. We've been looking for a new chief advisor for months now.'
'Yes, sir.'
'Well. What about you?'
Mikuslki was startled.
'
Me, sir?'
'You've done well. You're capable. Competent. I need more men like you in my administration.'
'I...no, sir. It's not my place. I'm a soldier, and a spy. A good one, I think. But Chief Advisor? I wouldn't...'
Mikulski stopped for a moment. Then he smiled.
'Besides. I think the problem just sorted itself.'
'How?'
'Turn around, sir.'
'Can I help you?'
'It's about the chief advisor's position, sir.'
'Is there another candidate?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Where are they?'
The newcomer smiled. 'You're looking at them, sir.'
'You can't be.'
'I can. And am.'
'It's...no, no, no. Can't be done. Impossible.'
Mikulski smiled. 'Why, sir?'
'I wanted a...'
'You wanted someone from a family you could trust.' He nodded to the newcomer. 'How is your uncle?'
'Very well, Captain Mikulski. He sends his regards.'
'So.' The Czar sighed, and shook his head. 'Another Dobczyński, then?'
'Dobczyń
ska, sir.' The newcomer grinned broadly, the blue eyes of her family sparkling in the sunlight.
'Marta Hallie Dobczyńska, at your service.'