Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales)

The Maidenly Adventures of Queen Judith

As told with many pictures. And few words.

(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

1425 - 1427



The plan was simple.

. . . amazingly simple. This may bear further investigation.




Rodislav's first mistake: being named Rodislav.

Being a mortal enemy in the presence of a Knýtling is like waving a red flag in front of a bull.




Interesting.

Were I a more malicious queen, I would start giving archbishoprics to my enemies.




With the war in Africa over, the King of North Africa, who lives somewhere in Siberia, gives me thousands of ducats.

He's, ahem, toast.




I spent the ducats on tapestries.

They're really nice tapestries.




My armies invade Tunisia by marching in a simple, straight path towards Tunisia.

I'm starting to get a bit weirded out by this.




Ah, that explains it.

This is Stephen, my hideous nephew. Under normal circumstances, he'd be my mortal enemy. Instead, he's my marshal.

That explains why my armies are acting so efficiently; they're being run by the bad guys.




Valdemar Knýtling. Now why is that name so familiar?

Ah, he was one of my ancestors! Let's see what the books say about him.

Hm.

Ah.



o




If I hadn't read about Valdemar Knýtling, I never would have learned the skills necessary to be a papal controller.

It's apparently all in the wrist. Who knew?




Oh, poo.

I finally get my hands on the pope and he's defective.

That's just my luck.
​

Judith has a pope in her hot little hands, but he's no good to her with such limp prestige. That's why Judith does the one thing hardest to do in the all the world: track down an Arab emirate to sack. There just happens to be one nearby, so off her armies go in the care of her warty marshal Stephen to embark on the second-to-last crusade! And then Sunifred really screws things up badly, giving Judith just the window she needs to . . . Sunifred? The king of England is named Sunifred? Oh, for God's sake. Whatever. Judith does all that stuff I just talked about as the adventures of Judith Knýtling continue!​

The Maidenly Adventures of Queen Judith

As told with many pictures. And few words.

(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

1427 - 1429



I've got to make this pope happy. Otherwise, he's never going to excommunicate Sunifred!

It takes awhile, but we find a Muslim province in Palestine, of all places.

God wills it!




His name was Toktamis? If I were God, I'd will him to get defeated by Szczepan.

Mortal enemies need mortal enemies too, you know.




With that done, war with England is inevitable.

We have claims on his king-title and a couple of count titles. I am meticulous and precise.

He has claims all over me. He is a typical man.




This vassal doesn't even put up a fight before he offers to give up his titles, his money, and his dignity.

It turns out he hasn't actually got any dignity, but I kind of like that quality in a man.




Our position in Italy makes the conquest of Sunifred's provinces there particularly easy.

If you want to get ahold of a man's provinces, it's important to be in the right position.

I learned that from a history book.

Guess which one.

o




Sometimes, you have to be in position to grab more than one province at a time.

I read that somewhere.

o




And there goes England!

No man has been able to keep his king-title from me for long since I read a history book.

Yeah, that history book.

o




Some people say that my reputation is tarnished, but it's all a matter of perspective.




My reputation: going down. My fame: going up.

I learned that from a history book too.

o




Edith dies an early death. For some chilling reason, I think this is payment for finding that history book.

God may not will it, but ghosts of ancient uncles sometimes do.

​

The knowledge of Valdemar is at her fingertips, and I'm really losing my train of thought because 'fingertips' is an erotic word. Say it with me. 'Fingertips'. It's almost as good as 'gavelkind', but anyway with Edith dead, Judith must appoint a chancellor smart enough, diplomatic enough, and hot enough to keep her dozens of vassals satisfied. She'll get one out of three, but that may not be enough for her relatives, who have grown accostomed to having their vassal-urges satisfied by Knýtling women. And what about papal indulgences? And what about chaos in Germany? And what about- well, there are answers to these questions, and the ghost with the most answers them all as the adventures of Judith Knýtling continue!​

The Maidenly Adventures of Queen Judith

As told with many pictures. And few words.

(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

1429 - 1430



Berenguera is tapped for the difficult task of keeping my dozens of vassals satisfied.

My vassals are either desperate or blind.

I guess they could be desperate and blind.




I read a history book that said I should give it to the poor.

It said I should give it to them hard.

o




Beating Sunifred means I have a dozen provinces in Germany, which is more than the king of Germany can say.

I have words with him. And by that, I mean I grab his king-title.




While I grab his king-title with one hand, I reach down and grab his farthest provinces with the other.




And then I grab his farthest, farthest province with my other, other. . . okay, so this analogy isn't working.

I guess Valdemar's history books can't teach me everything, because I don't have three hands.




I spanked Ulrich hard and then he paid me. Now I've done something that isn't in Valdemar's hist-

No, wait. There it is.

o




Ulrich marks the loss of his king-title by assuming a banner with a red cross on it and pledging himself to Byzantium.

I guess Manuel started some sort of tradition.




Speaking of traditions, this is one I could do without.

Why does it always have to be treason? Why can't it be something like flowers in the air?

Some people might think of that as a disaster. People who don't like flowers, for example.




Bohdan Knýtling, my uncle or cousin or. . . whatever, I don't really care.

He is this close to becoming my mortal enemy.




Every loan shark in Tunisia is rounded up and shipped to Holstein.

Judith Knýtling, you're a. . . princess.

​

That was close, but Judith avoided saying it! But can she avoid saying it the next time? Bohdan poses a minor threat that Judith tries to milk for all the prestige he's worth, a deed that inspires vassal after vassal to pledge themselve to her! It's all Greek to our lovely queen, and she solves the Greek problem with a delicate application of papal power - just enough to end her civil war - as the adventures of Judith Knýtling continue!​