The Hour of Power
1664-1692
The runners enter the final kilometre of the marathon. The best of a generation, they represent the best and brightest of their nations. Not for petty money, not for t-shirt contracts, not for crass commercialism do they compete, but for the glory of humanity. Little do they know that landmines are emplaced along the last stretch of the road, but they will learn…
[Sports announcer] Welcome… To the Hour of Power.
[Tortured Scream] SPECIAL REPORT!
MEPHISTOPHELES: We are honoured to bring you the news from the trial of Garglefloggah, Spawn of the Seventh Pit, Human Resources… And pleased to inform you that it was due to the incessant efforts of Infernal News Network operatives that he was brought low.
ASMODEUS: Lower.
MEPHISTOPHELES: Human Resources have been busting their budget dealing out power to mortals like there is no tomorrow -
ASMODEUS: A clear fallacy given the current schedule for Armageddon as according to the Infernal Clock.
MEPHISTOPHELES: And yet, this power does not show up in their quarterly reports.
Poof, magic power from NOWHERE? Can such exist?
ASMODEUS: So we asked ourselves, and as the loyal servants of his Dark Majesty, we had to – for the good of the realm – bring it to the notice of those wonderful people, those truly spectacular beings, who enjoy asking such questions..
MEPHISTOPHELES: The Infernal Auditor Corps.
[canned ooohs]
MEPHISTOPHELES: Garglefloggah is currently attempting a plea bargain. He wants to plead guilty to Gross Misuse of Power, Unsanctioned Intercourse With Humanity, Sexual Stimulation With A Reinforced Guitar, and Impersonating a Duke of Hell, while pleading innocent on the greater charge of Attempting To Open The Gates Of Hell Not On Schedule.
ASMODEUS: I didn’t know we had such a charge on the books?
MEPHISTOPHELES: The Devil’s advocate thinks of
everything.
ASMODEUS: In the fair and unbiased view of INN, we wish Garglefloggah the best of luck in his trial. He is going to need it since he is obviously guilty as hell. Not that being guilty is anything to be ashamed of.
MEPHISTOPHELES: It is merely terminal if you are guilty of the wrong things. E.g. grand treachery towards his Infernal Majesty – not that such a charge has been levelled against Garglefloggah yet – is always punished most severely. But enough about Garglefloggah, he is yesterday’s news.
ASMODEUS: And yesterday’s news is no news!
MEPHISTOPHELES: Right you are, Asmodeus. More interesting is the question of where he appropriated the power he gave out so freely and the Auditors are on that case. I am sure we will know of it soon. Going to Earth #29, there was fighting in India and Siberia…
ASMODEUS: As always...
MEPHISTOPHELES: The only unusual thing being Reoyl of Mataram’s participation on all sides. First he fought with Amzad against Bistami, and conquered Ceylon, then with Bistami against Amzad, and conquered Quetta, then alone against Qutb of Nippon (which drew in Alesso and Gothmog), ending with the occupation of Enkan and the Near Opening Of The Gates Of Hell.
ASMODEUS: Reoyl obviously being a pawn of Garglefloggah, what did he expect to gain from this?
MEPHISTOPHELES: Did you see the mushroom clouds above the heartlands of Vientiane? Did you see the destruction in the capital of Brunei? Both spells trace clearly back to Reoyl. War has never been so much fun.
[Chorus] War has never been so much fun.
MEPHISTOPHELES: STOP IT!
[Chorus explodes]
MEPHISTOPHELES: Regarding Reoyl’s plans for domination, we have yet another sign that Qutb is mad as a hatter. In his secret diary, he made notes that Reoyl’s attack on him was really a cunning plan by Qutb, that by appearing vulnerable he would suck in Reoyl, who would then be cut down.
ASMODEUS: A sad case indeed. The worst is that he possible even believes it.
MEPHISTOPHELES: Of more interest is the development of Mughal/Chagatai relations. Alvaro and Amzad have been bosom buddies for so long and have carefully avoided planting their knives in each others back despite awful temptation.
ASMODEUS: Of course, they have been plotting against each other and have occasionally sent dark magic to harm each other, but, in public, they have indeed behaved themselves.
MEPHISTOPHELES: We are now facing the end of an age of amity. According to several highly placed sources, Amzad is planning war against Alvaro at the earliest opportunity, and he has gained Qutb and Bistami as allies in this cause.
ASMODEUS: According to other highly placed sources, Alvaro is planning war against Amzad at the earliest opportunity, and he has gained Bistami as an ally in this cause.
MEPHISTOPHELES: All the highly placed sources agree that Alesso has been tricked, placated, or bribed, into not interfering in the matter. As such, there is really only one thing to say… Alesso, we salute you!
ASMODEUS: All hail Alesso! Death and dishonour should be your watchword!