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They're just jealous of your shiny crown. 
Awesome AAR, subscribed, hate to see you lose. :/
Awesome AAR, subscribed, hate to see you lose. :/
Boris: 92,000. With 43,000 manpower extra.
-----
After panicking and running in circles for an hour, we recruit new advisers and send the ugliest, most freedom-hating Thuringian to spy in Bohemia. He is immediately accepted and put in a position where he can tell us everything about their troop movements.
We're in trouble. Brunswick dishonored the alliance (though honestly I can't blame them) and our army tradition is so low Ernst II has to take command himself (2/2/2).
Two days after the DoW from Bohemia, Poland and Austria begin sending us war subsidies to the tune of 30 gold a month combined, which is certainly welcome. We begin recruiting mercenaries in Thuringia and Dresden provinces.
The mercenaries in Dresden barely have time to count their money, but the Liberation Army arrives a week later and slaughters all 5999 Bohemians.
Venice eats Milan a week after that, as we race north to help the Hessians sieging Leipzig.
We don't have time to celebrate, as a 12,000 strong Bohemian army arrives to continue the fight for Leipzig. Another of our mercenary companies gets surprised and slaughtered at Dresden.
By May 1, we and the Hessians throw back the Bohemians at Leipzig, losing 1414 men in exchange for 2600 of theirs. We leave Leipzig to the Hessians and run through Dresden, killing another thousand Bohemians and lifting the minor siege there, then cross into Silesia.
Operation Don't Get Annexed goes as follows:
The Emperor insisted on providing his own comments. Fortunately, as crayons hadn't been invented yet, the plan was still readable.
Ernst took the plan to heart, not pausing after driving off the Bohemian army in Oberlauswitz, and instead chasing them right into the heart of Bohemia.
22 days later, a ferocious assault succeeds and Prague falls!
AHAHAHAHAHAHA oh those tuscans, so wacky
A 17,000 strong Bohemian army is defeated outside Prague, losing 5500 men to our 1700, then the Emperor chases them back to Oberlauswitz and kills the entire remnant. The Liberation army then heads for Breslau to liberate more novice Bohemian soldiers from their duties.
Breslau falls on November 18, while the skill of our Military Engineer can no longer prolong the siege at Anhalt and it falls to the Bohemians. Denmark's troubles culminate in the return of Hamburg on Dec 2, and Oberlauswitz falls by the 9th.
Despite the constant assaulting of forts, our HRE manpower and recruitment of new divisions has swelled the army to 25,000 when full.
The war, January 30, 1549. Ferdinand I is the King of Bohemia. Erz will fall a week later.
After taking Erz, the TLA (Thuringian Liberation Army) swings back to Prague to prevent the large army there from retaking the Bohemian capital.
The Bohemians are barely defeated, but still the Emperor gave chase into Ratibor, then Moravia, then back to Ratibor and so on, for months, until the last ragged 2500 men are cut down on July 21.
Fortunately, this prompts Poland to renew and Transylvania to begin sending war subsidies. Seem nobody likes Bohemia much. Poland goes so far as to claim their throne should Ferdinand I die in this little war.
Moravia falls Aug 5, and by Aug 19 Prague is recaptured, a minor army having taken it during the hunt for Parbudice.
Things are more grim than the string of successes would suggest. Erfurt is nearing collapse, our manpower is depleted, the largest of the Bohemian armies is untouched and new armies are being raised while we cannot recruit any new regiments.
However, seeing some Calvinist rebels to the south gives us an idea...
And we use some of that 400 gold to incite the Poles to revolt.
With the destruction of a 3000-man army, the Bohemians send an offer...
But should we take it?
-----
After panicking and running in circles for an hour, we recruit new advisers and send the ugliest, most freedom-hating Thuringian to spy in Bohemia. He is immediately accepted and put in a position where he can tell us everything about their troop movements.
We're in trouble. Brunswick dishonored the alliance (though honestly I can't blame them) and our army tradition is so low Ernst II has to take command himself (2/2/2).
Two days after the DoW from Bohemia, Poland and Austria begin sending us war subsidies to the tune of 30 gold a month combined, which is certainly welcome. We begin recruiting mercenaries in Thuringia and Dresden provinces.
The mercenaries in Dresden barely have time to count their money, but the Liberation Army arrives a week later and slaughters all 5999 Bohemians.
Venice eats Milan a week after that, as we race north to help the Hessians sieging Leipzig.
We don't have time to celebrate, as a 12,000 strong Bohemian army arrives to continue the fight for Leipzig. Another of our mercenary companies gets surprised and slaughtered at Dresden.
By May 1, we and the Hessians throw back the Bohemians at Leipzig, losing 1414 men in exchange for 2600 of theirs. We leave Leipzig to the Hessians and run through Dresden, killing another thousand Bohemians and lifting the minor siege there, then cross into Silesia.
Operation Don't Get Annexed goes as follows:
The Emperor insisted on providing his own comments. Fortunately, as crayons hadn't been invented yet, the plan was still readable.
Ernst took the plan to heart, not pausing after driving off the Bohemian army in Oberlauswitz, and instead chasing them right into the heart of Bohemia.
22 days later, a ferocious assault succeeds and Prague falls!
AHAHAHAHAHAHA oh those tuscans, so wacky
A 17,000 strong Bohemian army is defeated outside Prague, losing 5500 men to our 1700, then the Emperor chases them back to Oberlauswitz and kills the entire remnant. The Liberation army then heads for Breslau to liberate more novice Bohemian soldiers from their duties.
Breslau falls on November 18, while the skill of our Military Engineer can no longer prolong the siege at Anhalt and it falls to the Bohemians. Denmark's troubles culminate in the return of Hamburg on Dec 2, and Oberlauswitz falls by the 9th.
Despite the constant assaulting of forts, our HRE manpower and recruitment of new divisions has swelled the army to 25,000 when full.
The war, January 30, 1549. Ferdinand I is the King of Bohemia. Erz will fall a week later.
After taking Erz, the TLA (Thuringian Liberation Army) swings back to Prague to prevent the large army there from retaking the Bohemian capital.
The Bohemians are barely defeated, but still the Emperor gave chase into Ratibor, then Moravia, then back to Ratibor and so on, for months, until the last ragged 2500 men are cut down on July 21.
Fortunately, this prompts Poland to renew and Transylvania to begin sending war subsidies. Seem nobody likes Bohemia much. Poland goes so far as to claim their throne should Ferdinand I die in this little war.
Moravia falls Aug 5, and by Aug 19 Prague is recaptured, a minor army having taken it during the hunt for Parbudice.
Things are more grim than the string of successes would suggest. Erfurt is nearing collapse, our manpower is depleted, the largest of the Bohemian armies is untouched and new armies are being raised while we cannot recruit any new regiments.
However, seeing some Calvinist rebels to the south gives us an idea...
And we use some of that 400 gold to incite the Poles to revolt.
With the destruction of a 3000-man army, the Bohemians send an offer...
But should we take it?
Why they fight is the reason why I live; beer and busty blonds. That is by far the best "map" I have seen in any AAR.
Hmm, depends of whether or not you have a chance to go around them and retake your land I suppose. You're probably going to lose Thüringen before you gain anything after all. They're probably close to being willing to accept some small demands - getting them to renounce the claim would be useful for instance... But then again if they occupy another province and you can't retake it then you could be in trouble.
Before you decline/accept, see what a proposal you can get them to take. If they wouldn't accept any of your offers, try pressing on a bit more.
We gamble and turn down Bohemia's offer. They're refusing to grant anything, our warscore is nearly balanced, and a white peace helps them more than it does us...up to the point where we get crushed, that is.
Breslau and Thuringia province fall and a new cannon regiment is stomped in Meissen, but we don't stop to seige.
Instead, we recover Anhalt as the Poles take one of their provinces. The Bohemian stack splits up, because Transylvania (bless their souls) have attacked Bohemia!
With the Bohemians milling about, we assault and take Meissen on January 7, 1550. Anhalt falls to the Bohemians again by the end of the month.
The War, Feb 23, 1550
Neiderlausitz falls in early April, leaving only two Bohemian provinces not occupied or under siege and still they refuse to make peace.
After repulsing this attack, the TLA moves to Dresden, in hopes that breaking the siege there will convince Bohemia to throw in the towel.
Despite our blunder there, Austria and Croatia (?) support our war against Bohemia enough to send more war subsidies! These things have been godsends, seriously.
Attempts to get Luneburg to bow out of the war fail spectacularly. Just what do they want?
By July 26, the Transylvanians make white peace. Apparently Venice sided with Bohemia, but Transy doesn't have a coast or border with them, and Bohemia didn't ever invade. Thanks, guys.
More gold goes to support Saxon patriots in Poznan as we defeat another Bohemian army attempting to take back Neiderlausitz. Even so, on September 3, Bohemia demands Anhalt be released and our entire treasury. Again, we refuse, and take Anhalt and Leipzig by November 6.
Two days later,
15,000 Czech peasants rise up and retake their capital. We retake Meissen in early December, but we can't take on a fresh army of that size with a certainly overpowered leader.
Alright, alright, I'm sorry for letting the capital hold its own, I'll be right over.
:I
The War, Feburary 1551
We drive the Lorrainians out of Meissen, and then get an interesting offer.
We consider the offer just to get one of Bohemia's allies out of the war when it hits us. That's why our warscore is so low! Hesse sent all its troops to Leipzig, they got wiped out, and Hesse was totally occupied - as our vassal they couldn't make a seperate peace!
We accept, and Hesse immediately pays 40 ducats to Bohemia for peace while annuling all our treaties (and again, I can't blame them, I was so busy with my war I never looked over there).
At the same time, we send a message to Bohemia before our run of good luck ends. With Hesse out of the war, our warscore shoots up enough for:
Victory!
A look at the ledger just makes me smile wider.
We killed seventy thousand Bohemian scum.
And we got our name on the map. (Also, go Hamburg, go!)
Breslau and Thuringia province fall and a new cannon regiment is stomped in Meissen, but we don't stop to seige.
Instead, we recover Anhalt as the Poles take one of their provinces. The Bohemian stack splits up, because Transylvania (bless their souls) have attacked Bohemia!
With the Bohemians milling about, we assault and take Meissen on January 7, 1550. Anhalt falls to the Bohemians again by the end of the month.
The War, Feb 23, 1550
Neiderlausitz falls in early April, leaving only two Bohemian provinces not occupied or under siege and still they refuse to make peace.
After repulsing this attack, the TLA moves to Dresden, in hopes that breaking the siege there will convince Bohemia to throw in the towel.
Despite our blunder there, Austria and Croatia (?) support our war against Bohemia enough to send more war subsidies! These things have been godsends, seriously.
Attempts to get Luneburg to bow out of the war fail spectacularly. Just what do they want?
By July 26, the Transylvanians make white peace. Apparently Venice sided with Bohemia, but Transy doesn't have a coast or border with them, and Bohemia didn't ever invade. Thanks, guys.
More gold goes to support Saxon patriots in Poznan as we defeat another Bohemian army attempting to take back Neiderlausitz. Even so, on September 3, Bohemia demands Anhalt be released and our entire treasury. Again, we refuse, and take Anhalt and Leipzig by November 6.
Two days later,
15,000 Czech peasants rise up and retake their capital. We retake Meissen in early December, but we can't take on a fresh army of that size with a certainly overpowered leader.
Alright, alright, I'm sorry for letting the capital hold its own, I'll be right over.
:I
The War, Feburary 1551
We drive the Lorrainians out of Meissen, and then get an interesting offer.
We consider the offer just to get one of Bohemia's allies out of the war when it hits us. That's why our warscore is so low! Hesse sent all its troops to Leipzig, they got wiped out, and Hesse was totally occupied - as our vassal they couldn't make a seperate peace!
We accept, and Hesse immediately pays 40 ducats to Bohemia for peace while annuling all our treaties (and again, I can't blame them, I was so busy with my war I never looked over there).
At the same time, we send a message to Bohemia before our run of good luck ends. With Hesse out of the war, our warscore shoots up enough for:
Victory!
A look at the ledger just makes me smile wider.
We killed seventy thousand Bohemian scum.
And we got our name on the map. (Also, go Hamburg, go!)
Nice win! It's always a happy moment when your little nation gets its name on the map.
I'm sorry if this is short and snippy, but this is the third time I've retyped this goddamn update.
---
Fortunately, no. They force-annexed Saxony, not inherited them, so I grabbed the province before they got a core.
Glad people are enjoying my AAR! Unfortunately, with the threat of total annihilation lessened, around here is when I got overconfident began roleplaying, and the king is an idiot.
----
We celebrate our victory over Bohemia in the traditional way.
Once the magistrate population is culled sufficiently, we take a look at our one core that's outside our borders, the province of Brunswick.
Hm. Sometime later then.
Magdeburg attacks Hamburg, apparently getting the conquering spirit after taking Berlin. Since they have a core, we can't intervene as the Emperor, sadly.
A few months pass, and we receive news that makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.
Tee hee~
But then something possess me to declare war on Brunswick anyway in June of 1552. I missed the screenshots, unfortunately.
Brunswick itself gets stomped quickly and we take our core.
Bavaria, though, takes offense at our ungentlemanly behavior.
Somewhere in all this mess that I didn't screenshot well, Magdeburg saw a chance to attack us. FOOLS.
Venice leads the alliance against me, and they refuse every offer of peace that doesn't release Brandenburg. Since I need Berlin owned and cored, I dig in my heels and refuse.
Venice and Bavaria proceed to stomp me into the dirt, but they never manage to catch the Liberation Army or occupy all my territory, so they can't force a peace. The war drags on through 1554, wrecking the whole country due tomy the king's stubbornness. Then December rolls around...
Eep.
With Austria's giant armies getting closer, I squeal in terror and accept the first offer I get from Venice.
I am suitably chastened and ready to put this whole stupid mess behind me.
Thuringia and surroundings after the Stupid War.
Things aren't that bad, though, despite my embarrassment. The treasury was so overstuffed with war subsidies and loot that it still has a couple hundred ducats, Brunswick province is mine forever, releasing Brandenburg (under a von Wettin) knocked my infamy down to 2.1, and I'm still very prestigious. So, I'm not gonna be a sore loser.
I am sore when Venice attacks Siena with no CB at the start of February though. Way to be hypocritical, jerks.
For the rest of the year we sit quietly, recovering and waiting for the next opportunity. March of 1555 brings some interesting news.
Austria was apparently sick of all its neighbors making noise, so it's stomping Bavaria. Meanwhile, England (which I think is Prot now) is cracking up. To the east, the mighty Ottoman Empire is expanding into the Crimea at the expense of Russia, and has taken about half of the Mamluk lands.
In September, another message from Bohemia asking for help as the Transylvanians have attacked them. ~*teehee*~ We ignore them and make another slider move towards Free Subjects...which is quite the oxymoron if you think about it. Some people 'disappear' so we lose 173 manpower out of the 26,660.
We get a royal marriage with the newly recreated Salzburg as Bavaria shows its didn't learn its lesson and annexes Trier. A diplomatic insult CB on the returned Wurzburg goes unused - they're allied to Austria, guaranteed by Bavaria and DOTF'd by Venice.
We do fund some Saxon rebels in Bohemia, though.
I almost feel bad...almost.
England continues to crumble, Catholic Zealots and Noble Rebels controlling half the country. There's a small rebellion of peasants in Dresden, and we're forced to crush them in a very free way.
Ernst takes it hard, though. We take the administration option for the -1 infamy, then Standardize Weights, Scales and Measures the following January.
POLAAAAAANNNNDDDDDD!!!
Bohemia sweeps aside the rebels now that Poland isn't sitting on them. Savoy becomes Bohemia's vassal through dynastic ties (I think, Bohemia's king is a Savoia). Also his son is literally named Caesar. I have a bad feeling about this.
1559 rolls around and starts off oddly when Austria attacks England for no reason. Then we remember England rules Switzerland two months later when they cede Schwiz. Scotland attacks England too. Overall, it doesn't look good for the largest Protestant country...
In Thuringia, we switch one NI from Conscripts (which we no longer need due to the Imperial bonus) to Merchant Adventures. The Papacy gets kicked out of England and Spain eats Sicily. But what I'm watching with interest is Venice.
Will they form Italy? I've never seen it form.
Russia loses another war to the Turks, while England rallies, sweeps all its rebels aside and smashes the Scots. Good show!
Oof. Well, I messed up and didn't know that you had to have Ecumenicism to avoid this. I select 'tolerant society', but the damage is done. Brunswick (Reformed) then gets an event about rising intolerance. Mecklemburg breaks their alliance with us for no immediately discernible reason.
Then, at the end of June 1561, a momentous event.
The electors have abandoned us, the country's gripped by religious turmoil, the king is both incompetent and nutty, and now the talented heir has died with no replacement.
It's time for a change, so on the Fourth of July, 1561...
The Thuringian Republic is proclaimed! Ernst gets a nice mountain retreat to be crazy in, and the first election is held.
...Syndic?
---
Fortunately, no. They force-annexed Saxony, not inherited them, so I grabbed the province before they got a core.
Glad people are enjoying my AAR!
Unfortunately, with the threat of total annihilation lessened, around here is when I ----
We celebrate our victory over Bohemia in the traditional way.
Once the magistrate population is culled sufficiently, we take a look at our one core that's outside our borders, the province of Brunswick.
Hm. Sometime later then.
Magdeburg attacks Hamburg, apparently getting the conquering spirit after taking Berlin. Since they have a core, we can't intervene as the Emperor, sadly.
A few months pass, and we receive news that makes me giggle like a schoolgirl.
Tee hee~
But then something possess me to declare war on Brunswick anyway in June of 1552. I missed the screenshots, unfortunately.
Brunswick itself gets stomped quickly and we take our core.
Bavaria, though, takes offense at our ungentlemanly behavior.
Somewhere in all this mess that I didn't screenshot well, Magdeburg saw a chance to attack us. FOOLS.
Venice leads the alliance against me, and they refuse every offer of peace that doesn't release Brandenburg. Since I need Berlin owned and cored, I dig in my heels and refuse.
Venice and Bavaria proceed to stomp me into the dirt, but they never manage to catch the Liberation Army or occupy all my territory, so they can't force a peace. The war drags on through 1554, wrecking the whole country due to
Eep.
With Austria's giant armies getting closer, I squeal in terror and accept the first offer I get from Venice.
I am suitably chastened and ready to put this whole stupid mess behind me.
Thuringia and surroundings after the Stupid War.
Things aren't that bad, though, despite my embarrassment. The treasury was so overstuffed with war subsidies and loot that it still has a couple hundred ducats, Brunswick province is mine forever, releasing Brandenburg (under a von Wettin) knocked my infamy down to 2.1, and I'm still very prestigious. So, I'm not gonna be a sore loser.
I am sore when Venice attacks Siena with no CB at the start of February though. Way to be hypocritical, jerks.
For the rest of the year we sit quietly, recovering and waiting for the next opportunity. March of 1555 brings some interesting news.
Austria was apparently sick of all its neighbors making noise, so it's stomping Bavaria. Meanwhile, England (which I think is Prot now) is cracking up. To the east, the mighty Ottoman Empire is expanding into the Crimea at the expense of Russia, and has taken about half of the Mamluk lands.
In September, another message from Bohemia asking for help as the Transylvanians have attacked them. ~*teehee*~ We ignore them and make another slider move towards Free Subjects...which is quite the oxymoron if you think about it. Some people 'disappear' so we lose 173 manpower out of the 26,660.
We get a royal marriage with the newly recreated Salzburg as Bavaria shows its didn't learn its lesson and annexes Trier. A diplomatic insult CB on the returned Wurzburg goes unused - they're allied to Austria, guaranteed by Bavaria and DOTF'd by Venice.
We do fund some Saxon rebels in Bohemia, though.
I almost feel bad...almost.
England continues to crumble, Catholic Zealots and Noble Rebels controlling half the country. There's a small rebellion of peasants in Dresden, and we're forced to crush them in a very free way.
Ernst takes it hard, though. We take the administration option for the -1 infamy, then Standardize Weights, Scales and Measures the following January.
POLAAAAAANNNNDDDDDD!!!
Bohemia sweeps aside the rebels now that Poland isn't sitting on them. Savoy becomes Bohemia's vassal through dynastic ties (I think, Bohemia's king is a Savoia). Also his son is literally named Caesar. I have a bad feeling about this.
1559 rolls around and starts off oddly when Austria attacks England for no reason. Then we remember England rules Switzerland two months later when they cede Schwiz. Scotland attacks England too. Overall, it doesn't look good for the largest Protestant country...
In Thuringia, we switch one NI from Conscripts (which we no longer need due to the Imperial bonus) to Merchant Adventures. The Papacy gets kicked out of England and Spain eats Sicily. But what I'm watching with interest is Venice.
Will they form Italy? I've never seen it form.
Russia loses another war to the Turks, while England rallies, sweeps all its rebels aside and smashes the Scots. Good show!
Oof. Well, I messed up and didn't know that you had to have Ecumenicism to avoid this. I select 'tolerant society', but the damage is done. Brunswick (Reformed) then gets an event about rising intolerance. Mecklemburg breaks their alliance with us for no immediately discernible reason.
Then, at the end of June 1561, a momentous event.
The electors have abandoned us, the country's gripped by religious turmoil, the king is both incompetent and nutty, and now the talented heir has died with no replacement.
It's time for a change, so on the Fourth of July, 1561...
The Thuringian Republic is proclaimed! Ernst gets a nice mountain retreat to be crazy in, and the first election is held.
...Syndic?
Looks like you won't be winning any wars soon with that blockheaded bungler, but at least he can Diplomacy and Administrate his way out of anything.
I'm shocked that the electors turned their back to you, you seemed to take great care of the imperial responsibilities after all.
With luck, it's boundary dispute time with that Syndic.
With luck, it's boundary dispute time with that Syndic.
that's bad that you had to give up Berlin , but you got Bavaria and Austria off your back!