Very much the sense of the next generation coming along now - no longer little children, playing games.
have you thought of playing the after the end mod theres a couple on here but by my reckoning none were finished id think it would be funny if someone played as someone in the mouse or quebec or the martimes where i liveChapter 4: War
Langward Hall, Sheeran Encampment
The Lannister's second army made a lightening march to Harrenhal to join with Tywin Lannister's troops held up in the ruined fortress. Midway through the march, new orders arrived from Tywin to head south and follow the Blackwater to King's Landing. The reason being that the Tyrells had managed to cut off Stannis Baratheon from the Stormlands by marching through his territory and positioning themselves south of King's Landing.
Lord Tywin made it clear that wiping out the Baratheons was the most primary concern so the combined forces of the Lannisters, Tyrells, and Crownlands could focus on destroying the Tullys and Starks. By the time the Lannisters arrived at King's Landing, Stannis had been defeated at Attadale and scattered his forces to safely retreat.
It had been months since that feast in Payne Hall. Months of marching and manoeuvring had lead to this day where the Sheeran army had been tasked with chasing what remnants they could find.
"Our scouts found an enemy column encamped south of Langward Hall," reported Tommen, the commander of the Sheeran cavalry.
"How many are there?" Ed asked.
"Seven-hundred, the Sheeran army has almost double their number. Whether we raid the camp or face them in open battle, we'll crush them," Flement answered.
"I'm glad your mind for war hasn't been lost," Ed praised.
"There are many things I can't remember, but the battlefield is like kin to me."
The tent flap opened and Enora entered and took a seat in one of the chairs in the tent.
"What are you doing?" Ed asked her.
"I got bored of waiting in our tent."
"I can't spend time with you because I have to plan our next move," Ed explained.
"Oh, no, I wasn't planning on taking part in your council, I just hate being alone."
"Are you two finished?" Flement asked.
"Pay me no mind, I'll just watch," Enora reassured.
Ed watched her for a moment. She was true to her word, she spoke no words and simply stared. All attention returned to the map.
"I'd prefer to raid their camp than fight them in the open," Ed said.
"I wanted to raid the camp as well, the Stormlanders are good fighers and I'd rather not leave it to chance," Flement agreed.
"Where should we raid them from? The enemy is camped along a river so we would have to march around them to hit them from the south," Ed said.
"Even if our army was at half strength, we would still have equal numbers to this band. We can afford to split our forces to attack from different directions," Tommen said.
"How should we split our troops?" Ed asked.
"I can lead eight-hundred in a raid from the south," Flement began. "Tommen can lead his fifty riders from the west. And you, Lord Ed, can lead the rest of the men in an attack from the north by crossing the river."
"Take nine-hundred men, I want as many men to survive this battle," Ed ordered.
"I thank you for your concern, my lord, I will repay your trust with victory."
"I will go ready my riders," Tommen said.
Tommen left the tent. Followed closely by Flement.
"My, you've got a mind for war as well?" Enora asked, with a smirk on her face.
"I was simply saying what they were saying, my true test will come tonight," Ed said.
"Have you ever held a sword?"
"Master Cadwyn taught me, I didn't like fighting, but in order to make a name for House Sheeran, I must fight."
"Are you scared?" Enora asked.
"I'm terrified, as if I was staring at Balerion the Black Dread itself."
"Fight with courage, I need you to come home alive. I'm with child," Enora said in an almost monotone voice.
Ed knelt down in front of the sitting Enora and placed one of her hands between his.
"We've been blessed by the Mother, and now I must ask the Warrior for the same. I will return, for the sake of my house and unborn child," Ed declared.
"Promise me, Ed," Enora pleaded.
"I swear it," Ed promised.
Langward Hall, Baratheon Encampment
Ed could barely see in the darkness. The only thing that was visible was the enemy encampment across the river which was lit by torches and campfires. Ed had four-hundred and fifty men at his command, quite a few of the troops were veterans of the Siege of Riverrun and some may have even seen Ed's father fight. The signal for Ed to cross the river was for Flement to blow his horn and wait for the enemy to be drawn south so that Ed and Tommen's groups could enter from the north and west unopposed.
Ed was assured by his scouts that the river would be shallow enough for the men to cross, there was no turning back now so he could only hope their reports were true. He was worried, the camp was too quiet, as if they were being expected. The Baratheon scouts were dispatched of in all directions but the quiet made Ed feel one somehow escaped.
"Flement's group should be attacking soon, archers to the riverbank," Ed ordered quietly.
The men relayed the order throughout the mass of men and the archers slowly made their way to riverbank, they readied arrows and waited for the order to loose them. There were a few trees to hide behind, but the rest of the men could only rely on the darkness.
A horn was sounded across the river and yelling followed in short order. There was clanging steel and screaming, the signal for the other units of the Sheeran army to attack. Ed stood up and raised the sword of his father with both hands.
"Attack! Cross the river!" Ed yelled as he ran into the water and began trudging through.
His men lit torches and rushed into the water and moved across. As many of the men were wearing leather or cloth armour, they were able to cross more easily than Ed and his personal guards. The first of the men were able to cross, they waited for more men to finish making it across before moving forward. Ed and his guards forded the river and urged everyone into the camp.
Ed looked right and saw horsemen wearing the red armour of the Lannisters charge into the camp with torches in one hand and swords in the other. The fears of the enemy being prepared were for nothing; the enemy was taken by complete surprise.
"Search the tents!" Tommen's voice in the distance yelled.
Ed made his way to the centre of the camp where he believed the enemy commander's tent would be. One of the tents was burning from a knocked over brazier. Men fought each other with swords and spears all around, there was no battleline, only a chaotic melee where death could come from any direction. A rider rode by Ed's face and he recoiled into the arms of his guards, the horseman charged and slashed at an unsuspecting Baratheon soldier.
"Rally to me!" a voice yelled.
Ed looked over to the direction of the voice. It was a Baratheon, he did not seem to be the commander but Ed could not allow anyone to rally. He ordered his guard to follow him in attacking the rallying group. His men clashed with the disorganized group and the fighting was in favour of the Sheerans.
Ed witnessed one of his guards hit an enemy with his shield and stab his sword in his opponent's gut while he was recovering. Another of Ed's guard fought with the rallying Baratheon so Ed focused on a free enemy holding a spear.
The spearman charged Ed and he sidestepped the attack. His opponent stopped and Ed took the opportunity to make an overhead swing on the spear, hoping it would break. Contrary to what he had heard in legends and bard's songs, the spear did not break. The man was reorienting himself when Ed took his sword and tried to push it into the man's gut.
The man fell backward slightly and it took a second for Ed's strength to catch up. Although his hands were on the grip, he could somehow feel the blade going through the man's skin, it almost seemed effortless, it felt like there already was a hole to slide his weapon in. The man did not scream, he simply sucked in air, a noise Ed never heard anyone talk about. Ed fell to his knees and the man landed on his back, blood slowly poured out from the wound his sword had made.
He had just taken a life. He was panting and almost wanted to cry.
"Ride them down!" a rider screamed.
Ed stood up and pulled his sword out of the body, somehow pulling the sword out required more effort than pushing it through. He looked around, the number of Baratheons still standing was dwindling and some were even trying to flee. Tommen's cavalry ensured none made it far before receiving a sword to their backs. Nobody was taking prisoners, it was a massacre.
"Tommen! Flement!" Ed yelled over the sounds of what little fighting there was left.
"My lord!" Flement's voice yelled back.
Flement was not covered in blood, he was drenched in it. His sword was varying shades of red and a section of his plate armour near an exposed area of chainmail was dented.
"It's good to see you're still alive, my lord! And you've bloodied your sword too!" Flement praised.
"Let's just finish here, I want to go back to camp," Ed said, still trying to regain his breath.
A conversation was possible as the clanging and screaming had stopped, replaced by crying and begging. All Ed could smell was the burning tent nearby. He could only taste his sweat supplemented by the iron taste of blood. Ed felt no worry about tearing up in front of his men, he acted as if it was his sweat.
"Send a raven to the Lannister army at Attadale, tell them we've dealt with seven-hundred Baratheons at Langward Hall."
A rider in plain clothes arrived at the scene of the battle and made his way to Ed, he dismounted and pulled something from his bag.
"Lord Sheeran, message from Ser Addam Marbrand," the rider reported.
"Give it to me," Ed demanded.
Ser Addam Marbrand was Ed's brother-in-law and commander of the Lannister vanguard. His message requested the Sheeran army to march south to assist him in dealing with a new Baratheon army that had formed up in the south.
The Lannister army had managed to intercept the enemy at Greenward. Despite the Lannisters having the advantage, Ser Addam Marbrand was worried that the enemy's ability to reform so quickly meant there were other Baratheon armies nearby. With his brother-in-law needing assistance, Ed made haste to prepare to march to his side.
"It's the ravens, my lord," the Maester answered.
"Ravens? How many are out there?" Ed asked.
"Many ravens, enough to form a cloud of them."
"That many? Then I already know what this letter from House Targaryen is about," Ed claimed.
"And the other letter?" Maester Normund asked.
"An invitation to a tourney in Brent Brook, please write a letter to Lord Lymond Vikary that I may not be able to attend unless my condition improves," Ed ordered.
"Right away, my lord," the Maester achknowledged.
Sylvia had reached the gates of maturity, she was only a few steps away from being a woman.
It took me three days to read the whole thing but it was definitely worth it! I really enjoy this AAR; you have an excellent talent for characterization. I especially like the way you portray the growth of Ed from boy to lord to a troubled father. Writing coming of age well is not an easy task, and I think you did a good job. I also like the small scale, personal feel to this AAR. There's something about this kind of intimate family tale that, if done right, can be even more riveting than any vast, alien epic.
If you don't mind, I also have some constructive criticism I would like to share. First of all, you seem to have a fear of the word said. Instead you frequently use tags to convey emotion, instead of letting the dialogue do that itself.
Here, for example, you could dispose of the speech tags. Instead, you could try using said for the first two lines of dialogue to establish who's talking, and then continue the conversation without any tags from there.
This ties into another criticism I have of your writing, which is redundancy. In the above example, since you already wrote Ed as giving an order in the dialogue, it is unnecessary to repeat that "Ed ordered."
Here, you repeat the same thing in one sentence; that Sylvia is now a woman. Instead, you could pick either description, as having them both together in such a redundent manner weakens the impact.
I hope you will not take offence at these recommendations. I only want to see this already good story get even better. Happy writing!