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So if I understand rightly, the Chudian Necromancer has just turned all the Russians into Finns with his magic?

fasquardon
 
So if I understand rightly, the Chudian Necromancer has just turned all the Russians into Finns with his magic?

Well yeas, he is a necromancer after all, isen't he? (and how else you can turn your nation, not only by it legastive name but it's entire population as well into something completely different?)
 
Well yeas, he is a necromancer after all, isen't he? (and how else you can turn your nation, not only by it legastive name but it's entire population as well into something completely different?)

Didn't Mussolini do that in Italy?
 
Passions of St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) Part I

On fifth of March in year 11 (11th year since Duke Albur-not-so-keen-on-playing-cricket IV's conducted a coup in Holy Milan Empire)
St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) arrived into holy city of Leipzig to participate on the bi-annual poker-tournament with the cardinals and other high-ranking papal officials.
This year was felt as special as the Pope Arnold II Smithson had been rumored to be dead for few good months and it was common knowledge that the new pope would be elected soon after the tournament, and the winner of such games would be high ranked among the candidates.
Thus St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) had put on his finest clothes and despite the instructions of the Oracle of Warsaw, he didn't arrive riding on donkey back, but with his brand new Jaguar X-type.
It was therefore no surprise as the children of Leipzig came waving palm-leaves and sing holy chants, their eyes were blinded by dust and palm-leaves trampled by mirk tire-markings. Whit dust in their eyes they cried and tried to reach each other and shatters of their palm-leaves wafted in the air...
And so arrived St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) in Leipzig and parked his shiny new jag on the parking lot near the Holy church of the Cross-believers, to whom St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) was a holy prophet and sacred messiah, but due recent budgetary cuts, the church had decided to countermand his pension and fiefs.
There were dim scent of sense of wronging in the air as the dark figure of St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) rose upon the steps of the Holy Church of the Cross-believers. It was long walk, as the steps of the church were said to be steep and there where thirteen thousand of them overall, all named after the martyrs of Ibiza who didn't knew the local authorities rather zealless approach of what it came to the eating holy breakfast of fish and mettwurst sausage from their own lunch boxes rather than using the services of local entrepreneurs.
(Thus the walk took week and half from St. Jesus so we have cut the text little)
After long and wary walk, during which St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) had been tempted by Satan himself in disguise of yellow squirrel to join his cause and pet only small pets in the forthcoming tournament. But St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) kept his stand and didn't strayed into the dark side...
And finally he was in the office of the Church's human resource management office.
“Good afternoon your holiness.”
“Bah!”
“I see...”
“I came to demand what is rightfully mine plus compensations of these wrongful deeds by the mother-church for their 2nd holiest individual!”
“But you much know that during these economically hard times...”
“Pollocks! I don't want to just see my rightful up keeping restored, but also the revival of the disciple institution as well!”
“But you much known the pope excommunicated your merry companions! (it took place three years ago after the 54th birthday of Arnold II Smithson. No one really knew what took place, but most of the rumors tend to focus on the fact that Arnold's famous pack of camels suddenly belonged to a holding company suspected by the Holy Police to be run by a known heretic called St. Philiph of Ivory Coast, alledgedly also participating someway on the St. Jesus own carpentering corporate. He is currently living in tax-exile in East-Berlin)
“Bah! I want them to be communicated back!”
“That would be the matter of the cardinals and the holy conspiracy!”
“I cannot wait that long. I want them to reinstalled right now! Right here!”
“Or else...?”
“Or else what?”
“Well isn't it common to say or else.. in this sort of situations?”
“Not accordingly to holy fible!”
“Actually the second amendment...”
“Bah! Alright. Unless my up keeping is restored and my disciples re-communicated, I will establish a fashionable, but average-appealing furniture chain in Stockholm and call it Ikea!”
“For goodness sake, Not after the Satan's summer resident! You wouldn't dare...”
“Just watch me...”

And so did St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) left the Human resource management office and spent day and half among the vices of such large city. During those, he rose un-dead man back to the dead and turned wine into a urine after vicious dark magic that included lot of merry singing and shouting. He seriously considered to establish an artisan's shop here, but then he heard that the local union was infested by the Bulgarian communist party's agitators and keen on striking, so he withdrew his plans.
And then and only then came a page telling him that the Arnold II Smithson would personally meet him in the holy communion held in some forgotten inn in the dark side of the town.
Easter time was coming and the holy easter rabbits would soon hatch from the easter eggs laid by the crocodiles of Danube. It was odd request form allegedly dead man to meet during such weird time of the year. As night turned dark, St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) approached the Inn with heavy thoughts and he missed the companion of his disciples and other merry fishermen of the Lake Genesareth whit whom he often spend weeks and weeks in small and cramped boat in middle of the sea trying to catch carps and oysters from the lake.
He opened the door...
“Suprise!”
And just when he managed to form a thought of cheerful reunion of his old companions, the illusion was broken by a man, whit full frontal nudity standing in one of the tables waving his rain coat, revealing and unrevealing his private parts to other players in that table. So this sort of Inn, St. Jesus of Stockholm (the “Carpenter”) thought to himself...

*****​

And on sixth of may 1699 the people in Hämeenlinna rose into Rebellion and nearly drove away the missionaries, before the IIIAK (Third Army corps of royal Finnish army.) restored the peace.

“Another rebellion in Häme?”
“Yeah...the conversion thing, you know...”
“And Gollevainen was there?”
“Yeas...”
“Hmm...shouldn't we make him a prime minister or something? I mean keep him busy so that missionaries can get away on their deeds before he notices them and crams himself along?”
“Mmmm good point.”


For Reward, Army tradition
Long live Gollenoble!
Heaven costs more for mercenaries!
 
Pollocks? What the hell is pollocks? And i think they should call it IKEa.
 
(This is a collaboration between fasq and me.)

Humans have no name for the process.

To call it 'thought' would be misleading. The Angel does not think, as humans conceive of thought. (Nor is its self-symbol remotely translatable as 'Angel'; but men will insist on putting familiar labels on the unfathomable.) A human, thinking, may direct his attention to a problem, and feel that he is concentrating; and indeed, possible actions will bubble up from the deep workings of his frontal cortex, for their consequences to be considered. But he cannot control the workings of his visual-processing centers; they will continue to interpret the input of his eyes, finding patterns and edges, light and dark, always watching for that pattern which on the ancestral plain shouted TIGER.

The Angel does not work thus. Its control of its mind is complete, and when it decides to give full attention to a problem, every part of its being is marshaled. At each moment it considers a hundred actions, spinning out their possible consequences and its possible responses with literally inhuman speed and depth. (If 'speed' can truly apply to something as able to think backwards as well as forwards in time.) If the problem is a large one, parts of the brain will be rebuilt, different sub-configurations assembling themselves and attempting to find insights. Those which are successful are retained, and variants built anew, until the whole of the Angel's brain is adapted to the task of solving the problem at hand. The experience that a human scholar, politician, or warrior acquires, each in his own field, is a pale shadow of this; they use minds that were originally built to evade tigers, hide bananas, and have sex with the alpha female. They are flexible brains, and can be trained for other things. But the Angel acquires a new brain every time it ponders a problem, one purpose-built for its task.

The internal workings of such a being are not readily reduced to human words. But in the end all sentients must act on the same physical universe. All thought reduces finally to the movement of physical limbs, to orders given, swords drawn, armies set in motion. This is thought, of whatever form: The process that moves the future in a desired direction. The senses report, the mind processes, the body acts - and the future changes; becoming better for the actor, if the mind is a powerful one and the senses report correctly; not so, if minds are badly constructed or senses mistaken.

Not 'thought', then; the Angel's mind moves in too different an orbit for the common human word to be right. But still, if a human could have listened, and slowed down the process to something that, over a lifetime's study, he might have come to comprehend - one might say that the Angel pondered.

StreamLog Absolute Time From Arrival 6.0000000000000x10^52 to 6.00000000000009x10^52

Doctor(foamobserver): Attention: physics - latest numbers of quantum foam flux/Set1 Yngling Temporal Disruption.
Physics(foamobserver): Exporting data to models.
Tactical(overseer): Imagine engram AskNorvaldsson, mod5.
Tactical(overseer): Ask, identification of Yngling agent?
Ask(mod5): 1666 right? Bjarte Vegardsson, then.
Ask(mod5): Requests tactical functions, field specific, Set 1 Downtimer: Dovreman, Set 2 Downtimer: Norway, Set 2 Downtimer: Scandinavia.
Tactical(overseer): Promote AskNorvaldsson, mod5 to Tactical/SecretMasters/Dovreman. Remember data to AskNorvaldsson, mod5/current.
Remember: Norway = driven from Scandinavia, Dovremen = cut off from state assistance, time since shows: marked decline in Christ-faith (Catholic-heretical), increase in sightings of false-faith (Norsepagan), evidence of growing organisation (Norsepaganpriesthood), parallels organisation: The Order (pre-vernacularrevolution), note: rise in organised guerilla warfare against targets: Prussia, Germany, note: fall in observed birth-rate (value: Downtimer), note: rise in population, note: average adult Set 2 Downtimer muscle mass increased, note: locus of change: Dovre mountain
Ask(mod5): Faen heller! Is Self fighting a time war, or stargazing?
Tactical(Dovreman): The Dovremen currently pose no threat. From Order spies in the region we suspect an attempt at selective breeding. Tactical has assessed this activity as good for Self, and good for Set 2 Downtimers. Attempt is absorbing a large portion of man-time. If successful, product will be rendered obsolete by technological advancement within (worstcase) 4-8 generations. Most likely product is a human crippled by (Set 1 Downtimer) "Yngling Values" and easily outmatched by unaltered Set 2 Downtimers.
Ask(mod5): Requests imagine of engram InanchaBagratuni. Requests remember (current) for Inancha.
Tactical(overseer): Imagine engram InanchaBagratuni. Remember data (current) to InanchaBagratuni.
Ask(mod5): Can you explain this?
Inancha: Your assessment is reasonable, Tactical. But you are missing the trunk for the branches. A breeding program requires fine political control, which in turn requires powerful symbols. Downtimers are not able to subordinate their selves into a greater whole like a sub-process being re-absorbed by the Self. Nor availed of communications that allows them to access compatriots in an eyeblink. They use other ways to find commonality. Consider: the Propheteocracy created "Agsartan's Angel" out of Self as a powerful symbol. A symbol of God's love for the Georgian people. And for the love of God, the Georgian people moved mountains. Norse Paganism is a powerful symbol for the Dovremen, and they are making it one for the Set 2 Downtimers as well. Consider, for a moment, what could happen if that symbol combines with the Norwegian Romantic movement of the Norwegian state? Consider what could happen if the Dovremen rode that kind of power.
Ask(mod5): Exactly. We all know what happened last time Self allowed the Dovremen to control an empire. Norway, and probably the world, is better off without them.
Tactical(Dovreman): Extermination has been debated before. Cost/benefit analysis did not favour drastic action.
Ask(mod5): Containment is not extermination.
Tactical(Dovreman): True, but the Dovremen are contained by their situation.
Ask(mod5): Requests remember (Bjarte Vegardsson) to (current).
Ask(mod5): You see why I'd prefer a couple years head start on this agent?
Tactical(overseer): Promoting tactical problem (Set 1 Downtimer/Dovreman) to Magenta, remember data (current) to Past(Delta-6.0000000000000001x10^52-Absolute)

(To be continued)
 
It's like a sick, intelligent computer:wacko:

EDIT: Uses it the memory of Ask as an internal device?
Obviously it is focusing on the Dovremen.
 
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Seems like the uptime Ynglings have retreated from the conclusions reached by the first few of them, and instead they're trying to recreate the situation that lost them the wars in the original timeline. Breeding programs are of ultimately limited efficacy even before you realize that this one should mature perhaps a little after tanks and airplanes do.
 
Nu, you can take the fascist out of the timeline, but you can't take the history out of the fascist. The uptimers are still products of their own time, and doing what they know. But notice, in this post you're getting the Angel's perspective, and it is not very impressed with uptimers; the last time it interacted with them to any great extent was during the events leading to the Black Death. If it knew that this time they are breeding for intelligence as well as strength and aggression, it might be a bit more worried; but there are limits to its spy organisation.

Uses it the memory of Ask as an internal device?

Indeed. The internal workings of the Angel are fasq's thuktun, but apparently when it was talking to him back in the day - and incidentally causing the brain damage that led to him confiding way too much in Hassan the assassin - it was also scanning him for use as a sort of Yngling simulator. For predicting your enemies' next action there is nothing quite so good as having one of them at hand and loyal to your cause. I do note, this is severely unethical. You may be sure that the original Ask would literally rather have died than serve the Angel in this manner; the simulation must be brain-washed in some manner. And if it's a good simulation, it has self-consciousness like a human; so the Angel is apparently creating fully sentient beings to pump for information for a few microseconds, then annihilating them again until it needs them. Also notice: Clearly it has the power to simulate future histories, "If I do this, X happens, if I do that, Y happens", to guide its actions. Those histories, again, contain fully sentient humans; and some of the histories will be remarkably unpleasant. Every time the Angel decides not to do X because it will lead to nuclear war, several million children have their eyeballs melted in nuclear fire. Or I suppose it might stop the simulation when the first missiles fly; but even then, certainly a lot of people have been unpleasantly killed in the leadup. And who knows how many variants of action X it might play out?

Honestly, I'm not sure I don't prefer the Yngling version of dystopia.
 
Be careful of taking this too literally. Anyone who's tried writing their own thought processes down will know that thought translates poorly to paper, usually the best that can be managed is a representation, not an accurate copy. How much more difficult then when dealing with a radically different physical architecture that extends into dimensions that we can only fathom with a great deal of math?

Indeed. The internal workings of the Angel are fasq's thuktun, but apparently when it was talking to him back in the day - and incidentally causing the brain damage that led to him confiding way too much in Hassan the assassin - it was also scanning him for use as a sort of Yngling simulator.

Hmm, all I remember us agreeing at the time was that Ask might have been clinically depressed for his last 10 years of life. I seem to remember all the bad security practice was Ask just being a normal Yngling (i.e. waaay to arrogant for his own good).

And if you remember our discussions from when we wrote Ask's adventures, the scanning is a necessary precursor to talking. If you can only talk to someone by stimulating their brain directly, you need to have a map of where they store various concepts.

But that map is very useful when you want to model the terrain it was based off of.

And if it's a good simulation, it has self-consciousness like a human; so the Angel is apparently creating fully sentient beings to pump for information for a few microseconds, then annihilating them again until it needs them.

Well, how do you know it's a good simulation?

I don't know if its particularly noticeable, but I've tried to write Ask(mod5), Inancha and the various system processes with the same "voice", rather than giving Inancha his own voice and replicating the voice KoM gave Ask.

Also notice: Clearly it has the power to simulate future histories

It does?

Those histories, again, contain fully sentient humans; and some of the histories will be remarkably unpleasant. Every time the Angel decides not to do X because it will lead to nuclear war, several million children have their eyeballs melted in nuclear fire. Or I suppose it might stop the simulation when the first missiles fly; but even then, certainly a lot of people have been unpleasantly killed in the leadup. And who knows how many variants of action X it might play out?

If the Angel were this smart, then alot of bad things would not have happened. Remember that the Angel has made several large and messy mistakes in the course of the game. If it could deal with this much data at once, and simulate things that accurately, it would have killed Ask after it talked to him and started dismantling The Order of St. Agsartan in the 1140s for a start.

certainly a lot of people have been unpleasantly killed in the leadup

When an actor pretends to be Julius Caesar, is it really Julius reborn? And when the other actors pretend to stab him to death in the third act, is it really murder?

While the Angel has capacities far beyond those of Set 1 or Set 2 Downtimers, don't confuse that with absolute power. It's still way out of its depth here.

fasquardon
 
But where does it come from? Surely it is not god. What else then can it be but Lucifer???

The big reveal is planned for HoI time, but there's actually enough clues in the AARs now to work out for yourself what it is and where it's from. Just keep in mind that other than the mumbo-jumbo time machines, my AARs use real science, so it isn't any sort of supernatural entity.

fasquardon
 
*cough*indistinguishable from magic*cough*

I've never agreed with Clarke on this one. Any sufficiently advanced technology is still quite distinct from magic. Most notably, with technology, TANSTAAFL, where as magic is all about free lunches in every variation you can imagine.

fasquardon
 
When an actor pretends to be Julius Caesar, is it really Julius reborn? And when the other actors pretend to stab him to death in the third act, is it really murder?

No, but this has nothing to do with what I posted, which refers to simulating a human being. An actor is doing nothing of the kind.

I've never agreed with Clarke on this one. Any sufficiently advanced technology is still quite distinct from magic. Most notably, with technology, TANSTAAFL, where as magic is all about free lunches in every variation you can imagine.

This is rarely true. Most magical traditions have all sorts of attempts to propitiate the spirits/gods/whatever that supposedly power them. Generally you get something valuable in exchange for something cheap, but then that's equally true of technology.

If it could deal with this much data at once, and simulate things that accurately, it would have killed Ask after it talked to him and started dismantling The Order of St. Agsartan in the 1140s for a start.

Dude, Turing equivalence! Anything that measures time in Planck intervals can simulate human history using bloody rocks. If you insist on giving the Angel such abilities, you should think it through! In any case, I explain the mistakes as a lack of data; processing speed be damned, garbage in, garbage out. The Angel seems reliant on its human servants for information about the world; that's an extremely limited bandwidth, relative to its processing speed. What's more, humans were clearly quite alien to it at the start, and you can't simulate what you don't know enough about. So its simulation capabilities in 1140 are quite a different beast from what it can do now, with an extra 500 years of data.

But hey - this is me thinking out loud. No need to conider it canon. :)
 
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For your free lunch, posit Dyson spheres, cold fusion, or tapping into the strong nuclear force as it suits you.

Except none of these are free, in the Dyson sphere, the star pays for lunch (though the price for reservation - building the sphere - is rather prohibitive), in cold fusion, the water is paying for lunch and when messing with the strong nuclear force, you're making some poor atom pay for lunch.

fasquardon