The Historic Inevitabilty of Epic Failure

[blsteen]

Welcome to PrawnStar's Deli of Dominance...
In the east the Sandwich of Death featuring the Ottoman's
In the west the Tortilla of Discontent featuring Aragonese
In the north serving the whine of Burgandy

 

[brifbates]

The Ottomans truly are the filler of a 'sandwich of death' – you may well be fighting the Timurids sooner than you expected.

That actually could well be a good thing as he can buy them off while they eat the Greece infamy for him. Retaking Greece would be pretty easy since the Tim navy is...yeah. It also could easily incite a Tim vs GH vs Kazakh 3 way dogpile of horde implosion that he is in the best position to take advantage of.

 

[PiriReis]

If he can consolidate its gains, I think nobody can hurt him anymore.

 

[PrawnStar]

All, the next update will be this weekend. Apologies for the delay but work has been a bit tricky - I've been too tired to play more than about a year a night this week.

 

[no7892142]

And for people who need to see some craziness: reread the Horde AAR.
I just did so in 3 days and boy it was not much less amazing than the first time around.

Rest well; and onto some uninfamous conquering soon, I suppose.

 

[unmerged(471650)]

I've been too tired to play more than about a year a night this week.
Yes current game at war with 12 countries at once 4 hours for 1 year game time.

 

[BootOnFace]

I have a feeling that the point of no return is coming up soon. That special moment when you realize that the AI can't hurt you anymore and now the game is just mop up and rebels. The Golden Horde is being held back skillfully, the Ottomans and collapsing, the Timurids are content with bribery, and Bohemia, the last true threat, has been cut off from their main route of expansion.

 

[PrawnStar]

FEEDBACK​

Arakhor - Nah, Bohemia and allies could still wreck me - I don't have enough troops.

Dauth - Yes, I'm trying to grab Novgorod Bohemia looks likely to consolidate the Empire - already has several vassels and passed some reforms.

sprites - As far as I can see the trick with the Horde is not to get overcommitted so you get attacked by someone else.

generalolaf - It'll be a lovely province once converted and cored.

dragonizer - There's still some work to do in cutting off the Horde from Europe.

Malurous - True I didn't want to go head to head with Bohemia so a 2BB vasselisation of Holland was a bonus

no7892142 - In my test run I went Timmies first so I can't directly compare but this feels very slow.

Legolas - Tech is a disaster I have a huge number of provinces that contribute virtually nothing to my economy. Only Trade 6 building spam will fix that. In terms of war against Europe it'll be numbers and tactics if my units are outdated. Don't think it's possible but until I try...

vasziljevics - Exactly!

Ltn.Owning - Yes.

il_loco - Update soon

Johnbarnshack - The extent of my authority depends on my BB management and we won't know for a long time yet...

Chief Ragusa - I generaly only build in the European provinces that don't suffer distant overseas and don't rely on tariffs. Since getting the high level late game techs will need Trade 6 spam I have to build up about 200 provinces. TRhe current concentration on the Horde means they should be a non-factor by 1525 then I'll divert against the Timmies. Trying to take one province at a time doesn't look good since it'll either need lots of colonists (which delays victory against the Horde) or means a long war to let natural growth flip the province and that increases the chances of a dog pile. CV still seems the simplest way to increase the push against the nomads - and it's useful deep into the 1700+ era as I have a lot of colonies to settle. No PUs - in the House Rules but no one will marry me - not even my vassals!

EU3NOOB - Quite right!

Duke of Britain - All PUs but I can't get anyone to marry me so it's a moot point.

Bamboozle - Thanks I think I need to beat the Horde before serious warfare against the Timmies - by 1525.

Leonoob - Agreed

sprites - Perhaps nit but it ain't happening

The Arch Mede - Interesting ideas and they make quite a bit of sense.

aldriq - Surely you have more faith in the Ottomans? One on one they'll thrash the Timmies.

Krogzar - Thanks, good to have you reading.

morningSIDEr - The Nomads are about having a working technique - this works for me.

blsteen - :rofl:

brifbates - Greece is working out rather differently...

PiriReis - I don't have time to consolidate I need to keep gaining BB

no7892142 - The first long Iroquois-Portuguese war is probably the highlight of all my stuff.

dragonizer - Sadly no, more switch off the work laptop around 10pm after a last round of emails and chat exchanges - my own fault for volunteering for additional projects but that's how to progress my career - especially since I'm looking at anotrher house move...

BootOnFace - Bohemia and Milan are problems for a long time. Hindustan and Ming will be difficult but only because of their size.

 

[PrawnStar]

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN​

The next couple of years are very quiet pushing back the Horde and running down war exhaustion. The Timurids reappear in Mid 1506 but in the middle of a succession crisis they accept an immediate concession of defeat. Even two days of war with both Nomad superpowers was enough to draw a warning from France. This reinforces my view that I need to reduce the Horde to a minor problem before tackling the Timmies. It’s April 1507 before the next action, war exhaustion has fallen to 0.07 and BB to 6.26 / 22.00 falling at 1.7 a year. Foix is diplo-annxed and war declared on Sunni two province minor Ragusa.

Victory against the bankrupt minor took only weeks.

Bosnia and Hum are targets for colonists soon and the Ottomans are looking to redraw the map.

March 1508 and once again it’s time for war. I’ve recently changed missions and have a Conquest CB (25% infamy) on Aragon for Madrid with a core as the mission reward. Mali immediately declares war - I don’t think the Malian AI has anything else to do.

I’m at war with:

1. The Golden Horde
3. Aragon, Denmark, Finland, Switzerland, France and Sicily
5. Mali

France is swiftly forced from the war by storming a province in April, the Swiss are dealt with in the same manner a couple of months later. September 1508 and the Reformation starts

I will be staying Catholic for the BB burn from Cardinals. I wonder how Bohemia will cope? You can also see my attempt to kill Aragon’s stack based in Savoy.

Denmark and Finland are white peaced in October, all I need now is to actually take Madrid and I should be able to make peace. January 1509 brings a new Prince - nice diplo but shame about the admin stat.

I also make peace with Aragon and pick up an interesting new mission…

And with an Admin 3 ruler, overextension. Unfortunate.

By August 1509 it’s time to start getting some more BB with a wave of DOWs on the Arab countries. As the Middle Eastern countries exist in a rather complex diplomatic tangle the only sensible way to ‘Holy War’ is to attack multiple targets simultaneously or pay full price for provinces.

I DOW the Ottomans, Sharjah, Oman and Yemen.

I’m at war with:

1. The Golden Horde
3. Mali
5. The Ottomans and Najd
7. Yemen
9. Oman and Mutapa
11. Swahili and Sharjah

The Horde Front

Notice Bohemia has ripped away another chunk of Lithuania.

The first success is in Europe where the Ottomans hand over Nis in September, their last non-capital European province. I ‘m going to try and finish some wars quickly as staying in six wars too long will invite a gang bang. Sharjah is annexed in November.

Mali offers White Peace soon after but otherwise the wars continue. April brings peace with Yemen, reducing them to their capital and the undiscovered Indian Ocean island of Socotra.

BB rises to 11.78 / 23.00 falling at 2.00 a year. My 6* diplomat has been in service for 57 years. Presumably he’s the sort of guy who Metternich was thinking of. Swahili accepts a white peace a day later. Rebels are sprouting all over the Middle East so in August I make peace with Oman taking another three provinces and ending my last war - outside the unending struggle against the Horde. I couldn’t get enough troops to the front to take those two Omani provinces in the Horn of Africa.

March 1511 and Oxfordshire becomes my first but not last Protestant province.

September 1511, the Timurids (~120,000 troops) have reappeared and the Horde (~7,000 troops) has just entered a succession crisis. Evidence in the log and from the Timurids diplomatic position suggests they’ve fragmented quite badly out in TI.

To get to my proposed stop line I have 5 Horde provinces being settled with another 15 required. I expect at that point the defensive/anti rebel forces I’ll leave in the area will be enough to drive back any Central Asian nomads.

May 1512 and the Timurids concede defeat. Much as I’d like to start pushing these guys back I have unfinished business with the Horde.

By April 1513 BB I down to 8.75 / 23.00 and falling at 2.10 a year. War exhaustion is very low, attrition driven by hunting rebels in the Russian Winter and Ethiopian Highlands. So…

 

[Selenimar]

hunting rebels in the Russian Winter

Isn't that English Winter now?

 

[homy_dog34]

Nice progress! The hordes will be gone with 100 years at most, I guess. Keep it up!

 

[Malurous]

Are you planning to help the nomads stay intact in order to get more provinces infamy free or is that too gamey in your book?

especially since I'm looking at anotrher house move...

Will you be taking the gravel with you or do you have to purchase more for the new place?

 

[morningSIDEr]

By April 1513 BB I down to 8.75 / 23.00 and falling at 2.10 a year. War exhaustion is very low, attrition driven by hunting rebels in the Russian Winter and Ethiopian Highlands. So…

...England instantly declares war upon all known nations in the world?

That's my guess anyway, just about the only thing which could slow your rapid progress!

 

[Legolas]

Isn't that English Winter now?

Russia may only be a geographical term by now, but it still is one!

 

[TheArchMede]

So ...

I don't see an obvious way to continue the Arabian conquests for another year or two which means its time to beat Bohemia ...

... to grabbing that Baltic coastline before they start eating their way through Novgorod.

 

[unmerged(58610)]

Good move in securing Madrid. Next up the Orkneys and vasselizing of Guyenne and perhaps the diploannexation of Holland -if you have the diplomats to remove the provinces from the Empire.

 

[Bamboozle]

I think it takes magistrates not diplomats to remove provinces from the empire, so less of an issue.

Probably going for the vassalize mission followed by another round with the Arab countries.

Cleansing of the Heresy could prove useful for gaining BB while you push the Hordes back if a larger nation converts.

 

[no7892142]

no7892142 - The first long Iroquois-Portuguese war is probably the highlight of all my stuff.

Not sure if I agree. The Hordes AAR features almost breaking/struggling until midgame, which is rather exciting to read, if tedious to play.

 

[PiriReis]

When will you set foot on the New World?

 

[Fyregecko]

I've fallen a bit behind and just caught up. I'm really enjoying this AAR: I'm normally more into comedy or narrative-type ones, but I like your comments on the screenshots. That, and it's interesting to see how differently someone else plays the game, especially if they're going for a WC, where I tend to be more focused on survival

The most impressive part, to me, is how much more aggressive you get away with being than me - then again, it's probably a teensy bit easier as England than as Tver

Talking of Tver, I saw you took it over in the last update - have you colonised it? Would consider it a personal favour if you could take it back and save it from those bloody heathens. I think I'm going to try and mod my game so that Hordes don't get Missionaries...

Anyway, thoroughly enjoying your work