Chapter 56: Kick them while they're down
December 13, 1584: The nation is at peace. Peace is bad. First, we need to excommunicate someone - never waste a chance to damn someone to eternal torment. Tip: Unless you have a specific nation in mind, pick a nation who has a new king, as then you get plenty of time and/or multiple chances. King Charles VII of France gets excommunicated - he's been king for 2 years, so I have plenty of time.
December 14: Since my 2 infantry doomstacks are walking out of the Golden Horde's remaining territory, the obvious choice for the next war is Golden Horde. We DoW Deva Bengal, bringing in Golden Horde as allies, along with Poland, OPM Malwa, and the OPM Mamluks from warnings. Helpfully, Poland borders the Horde!
December 26: EU3 is very helpful: if you tell an army to sit out in the middle of nowhere, they'll do it! Whoopsie.
January 19, 1585: The war with Poland heats up, as a Polish 2 cav/6 infantry stack is wiped out on the border in Ersekujvar, and a Polish doomstack assaults and takes Cherson. I have lots of cavalry heading to the Cherson doomstack - it's going to get a face full of cavalry when it's low on morale.
I have 2 12K cav stacks wandering the European Polish border, and the infantry is assaulting its way through the Horde.
January 27: Andalucia's stats: 8863.10 value, 476 provinces trading there.
January 31: 41 Polish regiments are busy assaulting Sieradz while 24K Spanish cavalry with a kick-ass general are bearing down on them. This highlights a huge advantage of all-cavalry stacks: you can exploit the enemy's assaults a lot easier if your army can actually get there in time.
February 10: Crimea falls to the eastern Polish doomstack. The doomstack heads to Kaffa, where my cavalry is headed.
February 20: The western Polish doomstack is mauled horribly at Sieradz, and flees north.
March 10: A Polish siege detachment helps me mop up a rebel uprising in Ratibor.
March 22: The Western Polish doomstack is mauled again in Kalisz and flees north to Danzig, where it is wiped out on April 1. The western front is now essentially a collection of small Polish stacks scurrying about avoiding the godlike hammer of my cavalry.
April 13: In a micromanagement oops, I realize that I forgot to actually send my armies in India against my enemies. The armies stop picking daisies, and start marching towards Malwa (infantry) and Deva Bengal (cavalry).
April 17: The Eastern Polish Doomstack gets crushed in Kaffa. Losing to all cavalry stacks is generally a death sentence unless you can rush in reserves to cover the retreat. Poland has no reserves.
May 30: Malwa is annexed.
June 1: A 3 star PE advisor dies, and I replace him with a 6 star discipline advisor, because my armies don't kill enough of the enemy. This is like giving the Terminator some steroids.
June 6: Heated debate event. This is triggered by having a bad reputation (which Spain does not have - right?), and you either pay 50 ducats to lose 3 reputation, or lose 1 stability. Hard choice, that. 50 ducats...or 60000 ducats?
June 21: The Eastern Polish Doomstack is beaten again at Cherson. An embargo is issued against Poland to choke off their income in Pressburg and Hinterpommern. Hinterpommern is still too large to close after the embargo, but Pressburg drops under 300 ducats and becomes a war target.
July 14: Spain embargos the Golden Horde to choke off trade in Astrakhan, but my calculations were off - they remain at about 361 ducats. Drat.
July 22: The Eastern Polish Not-So-Doomstack is wiped out in Zaporozhia. Now it's just up to sieges and assaults as the infantry doomstack moves east to west.
August 27: GH cedes Burtasia, Uralsk, Samara, and Mordvar, splitting the nation in two.
September 15: The Mamluks are annexed, and the CoT in Butana is destroyed.
December: The new Trade Map of Europe. The big winner is Denmark (Skane).
December 22: France warns us. So much for needing excommunication.
January 22, 1586: Brandenburg warns us.
May 2: Deva Bengal becomes an OPM, ceding Chittagong, Silhet, Vanga, and Pandua.
May 10: Poland is beaten, as my infantry doomstacks meet the Baltic Sea (remember they started in the Horde's territory). They cede the CoT in Pressburg, along with Azow, Zaporozhia, and Carpathia. Some claims are also given up. The CoT in Pressburg is summarily destroyed.
In other news:
Nicaragua, Sayultecas, Arica, and Benguela cored.
Ruppin, Lamu, Artois, Malindi, Kastamon, Smyrna, and Mombasa converted.
