One of the best parts of this AAR are the pictures with dialouge. It's kind of like a comic.
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That was awful!
It almost rhymed and almost scanned! Crovania will not stand for it. It may sit for it, however.
And alas how history repeats itself in riparian accidents!
It almost rhymed and almost scanned! Crovania will not stand for it. It may sit for it, however.
And alas how history repeats itself in riparian accidents!
I don't think anyone so successfully recycles earlier gags/pictures in his AAR as you do. And you did it while breaking the fourth wall! 
I'm starting to get a suspicious that Harald, being the non-Crovan Crovan that he is, is going to be something we haven't witnessed before: a truly tragic hero. Harald is so far removed from the regular Crovan rulers, that it all can't help but end in a horrible tragedy (you know, the kind that actually shouldn't be happening, instead of the well-deserved tragedies that befall most Crovan rulers).
I'm starting to get a suspicious that Harald, being the non-Crovan Crovan that he is, is going to be something we haven't witnessed before: a truly tragic hero. Harald is so far removed from the regular Crovan rulers, that it all can't help but end in a horrible tragedy (you know, the kind that actually shouldn't be happening, instead of the well-deserved tragedies that befall most Crovan rulers).
I'll say the same thing I said when that picture was last used.
The shark did him a favor. Who knows what terrible, undignified death the other Crovans were planning.
The shark did him a favor. Who knows what terrible, undignified death the other Crovans were planning.
I just started reading but this seems really great. I look forward to reading more.
Ha almost a member and player for two years and this is my first post!
Ha almost a member and player for two years and this is my first post!
Welcome to the show.
If you liked the first bits (either here or in the CK forum), you'll probably like the rest of it, too. And there's plenty more of it, too.
So this is what, the third time this has returned without me noticing? Fourth?
Nice to have you back, AP.
Nice to have you back, AP.
What? That's actually looked like real poetry!
Some of the previous Crovan Emperors will turn in their respective graves!
Indeed...Full-Dan's spirit is particularly restless!
Yes, he'll have a long way to go to win back the hearts of the people after that travesty!
The Crovan Code...great scott! Who knew that the Bards were the key!Also: welcome aboard and I'm glad my insane and violent story has entertained you!
Haha...all in good time
This next update is for you balkanite. The comic-esque updates are some of my favorites
Indeed, score one for the 'wave' theory of human history!
That is poetry, feed him to the Russian bear cavalry!
Why was Erik naked?
He must have spilled hot coffee on himself (or was prepping for some Primae Nocturne
)I don't think anyone so successfully recycles earlier gags/pictures in his AAR as you do. And you did it while breaking the fourth wall!
I'm starting to get a suspicious that Harald, being the non-Crovan Crovan that he is, is going to be something we haven't witnessed before: a truly tragic hero. Harald is so far removed from the regular Crovan rulers, that it all can't help but end in a horrible tragedy (you know, the kind that actually shouldn't be happening, instead of the well-deserved tragedies that befall most Crovan rulers).
My motto is Damn the Fourth Wall! Plus, I have to get good at recycling gags...there's only so many ways you can say "Now this time, the monarch will be an insane, violent sociopath!"
As for Harald's future: that remains to be seen...
I'll say the same thing I said when that picture was last used.
The shark did him a favor. Who knows what terrible, undignified death the other Crovans were planning.
Quite true!
Well then! Welcome to the boards and to my AAR!
Thanks Snugglie, glad to be back!
1669-1670: The Constitution - Revised!
Will Harald’s plan to create a Kindler, Gentler Crovania succeed? Will Jiri and his daughters strain their neck muscles? And the Tsar? What, exactly, will he say? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World is Not Enough!
Harald II “The Sun (Tanned) King” Eriksson Crovan
Emperor of the Crovan Empire, King of the Western Isles, King of the East and West Vikings, King of Germania and King of Vinland and the Skraelingias. Lord of Foppingtonia, Slavelandia and Zanzibar, High Admiral of Gibralter, Life-President of the Sino Trade Company and the Rightful King of All Poland.
In Which Jiri Is A Bigot
(13 April 1669 – 1 January 1670)
We join the Imperial Cabinet, already in session.
“…and so, today, with Great Pride, I issue the first Amendment to the Constitution of Crovania in hundreds of years. Dearest Emma, my Prime Minister, if you will please read the amended Constitution.”
“With Pleasure, My Love.
*ahem* Article 1: I am the Emperor.
Article 2: You are not.
Article 3: Ha Ha.
1st Amendment Issued by Decree 1669: Due to the size of the Empire being too large to be effectively managed by a single person, The Emperor’s Government shall be headed by a series of Ministers, each tasked with specific areas. These areas shall vary according to the Empire’s Needs, but no less than Four Permanent members must make up this Cabinet. In the event of a Regency, this August Body will maintain the government until the Succession has been secured.
2nd Amendment Issued by Decree 1669: There shall be established a House of Lords consisting of all titled members of the House of Crovan. In addition, the Governor of each province shall dispatch a representative who may not be a member of the House of Crovan. This body shall meet twice a year to discuss Imperial Business and advise the Prime Minister or the Emperor. This body shall not be murdered by a sitting Emperor without just compensation being paid to their next of kin.”
“I married into the Clan, do I get to sit in this House of Lords? Also, do they get paid?”
“Sorry, no. Only pure blood Crovans may sit in the House of Lords.”
*cough cough* “irony” *cough cough*
“Knock it off Hough…speaking of the Succession though…any thoughts of your boy marrying yet?”
“Oh for Olaf’s Sake Erlend! The boy is only five! Meeting adjourned.”
Later, in the Imperial Apartments
“Don’t beat yourself up Harald. What you did today was a great start. You appeased the Crovans by giving them a voice and making your throne more secure, you assured Skofte’s succession in the event of an accident and made a very small step in curbing the ruthless Autocracy of this nation.”
“You did good for Crovania today. Its too early to free the serfs, you know that. And”, she chuckled, "the Crovan Clanmembers are certainly not ready to surrender what they see as their birthright: the right to violence and mayhem against anyone they want. Give it time.”
*sigh* I know. I know. I just. There is so little time and so many wrongs to right. I want to leave this Empire a better place than I found it.”
“Really, it all depends on how Crovania’s rivals react. Especially the Holy Roman Empire and Kingdom of Bohemia. Will they understand what I’m trying to do here or will they ruin everything by acting short-sighted.”
to answer Harald’s Fears, we turn to The Holy Roman Emperor and King of Bohemia, Jiri III, as he composes a little ditty for the Harpsichord.
Emperor of the Crovan Empire, King of the Western Isles, King of the East and West Vikings, King of Germania and King of Vinland and the Skraelingias. Lord of Foppingtonia, Slavelandia and Zanzibar, High Admiral of Gibralter, Life-President of the Sino Trade Company and the Rightful King of All Poland.
In Which Jiri Is A Bigot
(13 April 1669 – 1 January 1670)
We join the Imperial Cabinet, already in session.
“…and so, today, with Great Pride, I issue the first Amendment to the Constitution of Crovania in hundreds of years. Dearest Emma, my Prime Minister, if you will please read the amended Constitution.”
“With Pleasure, My Love.
*ahem* Article 1: I am the Emperor.
Article 2: You are not.
Article 3: Ha Ha.
1st Amendment Issued by Decree 1669: Due to the size of the Empire being too large to be effectively managed by a single person, The Emperor’s Government shall be headed by a series of Ministers, each tasked with specific areas. These areas shall vary according to the Empire’s Needs, but no less than Four Permanent members must make up this Cabinet. In the event of a Regency, this August Body will maintain the government until the Succession has been secured.
2nd Amendment Issued by Decree 1669: There shall be established a House of Lords consisting of all titled members of the House of Crovan. In addition, the Governor of each province shall dispatch a representative who may not be a member of the House of Crovan. This body shall meet twice a year to discuss Imperial Business and advise the Prime Minister or the Emperor. This body shall not be murdered by a sitting Emperor without just compensation being paid to their next of kin.”
“I married into the Clan, do I get to sit in this House of Lords? Also, do they get paid?”
“Sorry, no. Only pure blood Crovans may sit in the House of Lords.”
*cough cough* “irony” *cough cough*
“Knock it off Hough…speaking of the Succession though…any thoughts of your boy marrying yet?”
“Oh for Olaf’s Sake Erlend! The boy is only five! Meeting adjourned.”
Later, in the Imperial Apartments
“Don’t beat yourself up Harald. What you did today was a great start. You appeased the Crovans by giving them a voice and making your throne more secure, you assured Skofte’s succession in the event of an accident and made a very small step in curbing the ruthless Autocracy of this nation.”
“You did good for Crovania today. Its too early to free the serfs, you know that. And”, she chuckled, "the Crovan Clanmembers are certainly not ready to surrender what they see as their birthright: the right to violence and mayhem against anyone they want. Give it time.”
*sigh* I know. I know. I just. There is so little time and so many wrongs to right. I want to leave this Empire a better place than I found it.”
“Really, it all depends on how Crovania’s rivals react. Especially the Holy Roman Empire and Kingdom of Bohemia. Will they understand what I’m trying to do here or will they ruin everything by acting short-sighted.”
to answer Harald’s Fears, we turn to The Holy Roman Emperor and King of Bohemia, Jiri III, as he composes a little ditty for the Harpsichord.
Will Harald’s plan to create a Kindler, Gentler Crovania succeed? Will Jiri and his daughters strain their neck muscles? And the Tsar? What, exactly, will he say? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World is Not Enough!
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Will the plans succeed? No. Crovania does not understand kind and gentle. Crovania can barely understand anything longer than 3 lines. The Old constitution was perrfect, I'm a traditionalist. The founding father knew all!
I find it appropriate that a 5 year old is running the navy of the world's biggest maritime Empire, and the HoI style government? Harald is way ahead of his time.
Jiri is a racist jerk and he turns his head around like a bigoted belaced owl.
I find it appropriate that a 5 year old is running the navy of the world's biggest maritime Empire, and the HoI style government? Harald is way ahead of his time.
Jiri is a racist jerk and he turns his head around like a bigoted belaced owl.
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Such shining ideals, and the Enlightenment hasn't even dawned yet!
Now, if Harald knew his Crovan history, he'd know this was not only a hopeless endeavor, but in all likelihood one which will speed up his own demise considerably. Still, one has to admire his suicidal idealism.
Nice work on the art work! I'm quite impressed with the face-mirroring! From Jiri's response, it seems that a war with Bohemia and Russia is in the offing (again...).
Now, if Harald knew his Crovan history, he'd know this was not only a hopeless endeavor, but in all likelihood one which will speed up his own demise considerably. Still, one has to admire his suicidal idealism.
Nice work on the art work! I'm quite impressed with the face-mirroring!
From Jiri's response, it seems that a war with Bohemia and Russia is in the offing (again...).
As always, you are the master of the baroque comic book style.
The freeing the serfs thing is a bit weird though, were I a Crovanian nobleman, I'd get with the murdering..
The freeing the serfs thing is a bit weird though, were I a Crovanian nobleman, I'd get with the murdering..
Argh! Wouldn't you know that this gets going again while I'm on vacation and therefore don't notice it! A belated welcome back AP, and great updates!
I am really looking forward to this in Vicky 2, but until then we still ave 200 years of glorious EU3 Crovans.
And what are the odds that Harald dies naturally? I can't think of te last Crovan who managed to pull that off.
Hmm, might be worth looking at all the deaths of Crovan monarchs...
And what are the odds that Harald dies naturally? I can't think of te last Crovan who managed to pull that off.
Hmm, might be worth looking at all the deaths of Crovan monarchs...
You got me thinking. If you go to Appendix A of the Codex Crovanus (either in my sig or right here -> CLICK ME! you can see a nice up to date list of all Crovan rulers and their cause of death!
(because I care!)
(Updates resume Monday evening!)
(also: feedback then as well...adding that to the Appendix took a bit longer than I expected!)