Radio Free Radio Free Eutopia: Free Radio Free Eutopia!

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On a secluded island off the coast of Western Eutopia, there is a Radio Station. Inside this Radio Station are a group of desperate people who have a secret agenda. Their agenda? The freeing of Radio Free Eutopia from Government opression, and they will stop at nothing to accomplish this terrible deed. They are the damned.

They are Radio Free Radio Free Eutopia.​

With Your Host, Charrrrrrrles Baaaaaaycon!​

 

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The voice of a cheesy American accent is heard

Hello, and welcome. You're listening to Radio Free Radio Free Eutopia, the only Radio Station in Eutopia, that isn't run by Communists! Thank you Comrade President Josephus! This is the sound of the aforementioned non-Communist Radio Station, on our first National Broadcast. And, if the stars have aligned correctly, it probably is working as well, which means I have to give kudos to our maintainance team of three Cuban Immigrants and a Mule. Congratulations Senors!

I'm your host, Charles Bacon, of Bacon fame, and with me is Antoin Nicolas Black of Black fame. Care to say a few words for our listeners, Antoin?

 

[Carthade]

Grumbling is heard.

"Yes, and its Antonin, thank you very much. Now listeners, listen carefully. Communists bad, Eutopia good."

 

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It isn't Antoin? I think it sounds so much better.

Anyway, we're going to open up the phone lines in a moment, just after some deep, deep, zen-esque contemplation. I think we've been pretty lucky to open up on this day, when we're on the brink of war with a foreign power. Does anyone think it's some kind of good luck charm too? Well, we'll be going to the phones in a second, but the Cubans haven't fixed the switchboard yet, so it'll be a game of Left and Right untill they can fix it. lousy sons of

Left and Right, I think of a famous Eutopian Politician, and the Black Ant has to guess who it is by saying the name of a Eutopian Politician. If they get the name wrong, I say "Left" to indicate he's to the left of the person he said, and "Right" to indicate he's to the right of the person he said. Follow, Black Angus?

Let's begin.

 

[Carthade]

"I follow you, Per Son."

 

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Indeedaroone.

Alright....I've got a name.

 

[Carthade]

"Ummm...oh! I know! Its the one who always frolicks with the conspirator goats! Per Ian Arse!"

 

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Close, but no goat. Left.

 

[Carthade]

"Is it Per Jonathan Glassmaker?"

 

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Not so glassy this time. Right.

 

[Carthade]

"Hmmm....maybe Per Cokeuanco?"

 

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Do you understand the concept of Right, Nickie? Right.

 

[Carthade]

"I understand the concept of bottom-right. Is it Per Alan Bones?"

 

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Anthony, R-I-G-H-T. Jones is the Communist who's in charge of our Nation's Finances.

Right.

 

[Carthade]

"Is it Per Breakston?"

 

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Nyet, Kamrad. Right.

 

[Carthade]

"OH MY GOD COMMUNISM HAS POSSESSED PER BACON'S BRAIN!"

Screaming is heard over the radio.

"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"

Demonic howls are heard over the radio as well.

 

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Satan is incorrect, left.

 

[Carthade]

"Is it that great lumbering brute of an Irishman, O'Groin?"

 

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Incorrectimundo. Right.