"Counseling"
27th Hoggagha,10 (2189)
Buri Of Unity
I lay my wife on the couch. She giggles as I put on a white coat and glasses.
I nuzzle her. "Do you remember when I said I wanted to be part of your healing?"
Her eyes light up. "Ooh, are we doing a doctor-patient roleplay game?"
"Not exactly." I wave around the room, focusing on the bookcase. "I realised that you needed a little more help."
She reads the covers. "Psychiatric papers, psychology papers, diagnostic assessments..." She looks at me. "Are you suggesting that I'm a little bit crazy?"
"Would you deny it?"
She stays still. "No." She thinks about it more. She sighs. "You're right, I do need help."
"So, relax. Let your husband counsel you."
She smiles, and stretches out. "I'm ready. I mean, I probably need an actual professional..."
I lean over her. "Naomi, when I said I wanted to be involved in your healing, at first I was only thinking about how Gaius hurt you. But as I downloaded more information into my bones and set them to contemplating you, I realised that there were things we have to talk through."
"Where do you want to start?"
"I want to talk through why you like to be tied up."
"Why?"
"Naomi, I have no problem with you wanting to have me dominate you while you are tied up. If you really enjoy it, I'll tie you up and have my way with you every night." I stand. She smiles. "I literally redesigned my genitalia for you after Gillian said 'boning someone' was a euphemism for sex, and I thought a manhood made of bone would appeal to you."
"It does." She blushes as she interrupts me.
"But being serious, I don't want you to be bringing practices that helped you survive as a Companionship Asset into our marriage uness they truly are what you want."
She looks at me. "Honestly Buri, it's hard to know what is actually 'me' in how I respond..."
"I know. Take the being tied up thing. We've walked through your memories together, and I know that it began as a means of making yourself more desirable by being willing to be had in ways that appeal to men like Gaius."
"It did." She takes a deep breath. "It was... I mean... Promise you won't judge me."
"Would I?"
She looks at me. "You're right, I'm sorry. You wouldn't. I'm just... I expect people to put me down over being an ex-Companionship Asset. Because of things like this..."
"Because you chose to offer yourself as a Submissive?"
"Exactly. You get more clients if you are willing to be... Had that way. I..."
She starts crying. I hug her. "It's ok Naomi. I will always love you."
"Buri... If I was to say I honestly never want to have sex again, how would you feel?"
"Relieved."
"Relieved?"
I point down. "How do Human men put up with this thing getting in the way all the time?"
"To be fair, it isn't meant to be erect all the time... But I do understand."
"So, as all this thing is for is your enjoyment, if you never want to use it again, I'll get rid of it immediately."
"Don't. I was just picking the most extreme example... I do like it." She looks so conflicted. "I... What I like about being tied up is that it makes me feel like I'm not responsible for what is happening to me. I'm just an object in the hands of whoever is using me."
"How does that make you feel when it's me?"
"I feel safe with you. Safe in a way I have never felt with anyone else. Safe enough to stay present."
"And with anyone else?"
"It helps me disassociate. It helps me... Disconnect from my body, what's happening to me. It means it doesn't hurt as much."
"Why do you do this?"
She slumps. "Buri... You are a wonderful and caring lover. Always have been, right back to our very first time."
I smile. "It was fun. Tasty too."
She giggles. "You had to carry me out the room. And that's the difference, you love me, and I know when we make love, all that motivates you is my happiness. But back when I was a Companionship Asset, I was... Was..."
She takes a few minutes. I gently prod her. "You were?"
"I was just a realistic masturbation tool. A realistic masturbation tool who made the right noises to soothe the ego of her abusers. And letting myself be tied up and used as one made it easier to cope with just being a masturbation tool. As well as that, it excited the clients, and that meant it was over sooner."
"And presumably got you repeat clients?"
"Yes."
"It's a survival thing."
"Yeah... I hated my life."
"Do you want it now?"
"I'm... So used to it."
I nuzzle her. "Do you want it?"
"I didn't at first. But then I found out that I had you waiting for me, and... It's a completely different experience."
"What exactly is different?"
"One, you love me, and you only do it because I suggested it. Two, you are... Look, I mean this in the best way, but you make me feel like I'm your prey."
"And you find that erotic?"
"Well... I mean..." She sighs. "Yes. Buri, you'll always be my Tarzan."
I run the name through my compubones. I smile. "That's sweet."
"Plus... Well, you are..."
I find an interesting comparison. "More like King Kong?"
She laughs. "Let's face it, I'd totally be willing for you to carry me to the top of a skyscraper."
She laughs more as I beat my chest. A buzzer sounds. "Sorry Naomi, that's your hour up."
"Could we have an extra session?"
I smile. Then leap on her.