Episode LVII: Tverly Modern
Marta Hallie Dobczyńska, Chief Advisor to Czar Aleksandr V, entered the Emperor's study as quietly as anyone in impractically high-heeled boots could (the lush carpets helped in this matter).
At a corner desk sat a man. This man was not the Czar of the Tverian Empire. He looked up from his pile of letters, rose (as did most men in her presence), and grinned a confident grin.
'Captain Dobczyńska, I presume.'
'You presume correctly. Who are you, what are you doing here, and why shouldn't I eject you from the Emperor's private study?'
'Steady on, Captain. I am Mitrofan Beloselsky, of the imperial diplomatic corps. At your service, et cetera. I am here to deliver some letters to his Imperial Majesty. And you shouldn't eject me from the Emperor's private study because that would really hurt, and while I am usually quite happy to be pinned to a wall by an attractive woman I'd rather she didn't do it with a pointy object.'
Dobczyńska considered this. Then nodded. 'Very well. Sorry. I take my responsibilities seriously.'
'Admirable, Captain.'
'Marta. So, a diplomat? Been anywhere exciting?'
'All over the place. The Czar's changes to our administrative structure are sound enough, but take a lot of effort to implement. In the diplomatic corps as much as anywhere else.'
'Any casualties?'
'A few did lose their jobs. I had to bring them the news usually. Our man in Paris was one. Couldn't take it. Jumped into the river, poor fellow.'
'Must have gone in Seine.'
'The ambassador to Egypt was replaced too. He had the same reaction.'
'Sounds like he was in de Nile.'
'Can barely swim too. He was eventually rescued but not until he reached the mouth of the river.'
'Aswan? Damn.'
'So I got to travel a fair bit. But it's always nice to come back home.'
'Going to be here for long?'
'Looks like it. I've been given a promotion.'
'Congratulations. Tell me more about your elevation.'
The door opened. Czar Aleksandr strode into the room, the maroon cape of the Princes of Tver billowing behind him. His son, Boris, Prince of Murom, walked behind him. A boy of thirteen, he was stockier than his tall, almost gaunt father. His eyes were shifty.
'Good morning, sir.'
'Dobczyńska! Getting acquainted are you? Mr Beloselsky here is my new chief diplomat. He has a diplomatic smile and a reputation as a smooth ladykiller, which makes him ideal.'
'We'll see about that...'
'His Imperial Majesty exaggerates, Marta. Someone thought that I had potential. And with Tver's recent emphasis on improving her reputation, he needs all the good diplomats he can get.'
'Quite so. But we cannot complain! Hem. It is a grand day, Dobczyńska! A day of profit! Of fountains of mammon and generous bounties!'
'My bounties
are rather generous.'
'I agree, Marta, though further demonstrations are very welc...'
'The Empire of Tver is the richest nation in existence! Finally we surpass the
greedy, sneaky heathen Austrian loan sharks, bankers and aristocrats! Hem. Our riches eclipse every other country!'
'Good news, sir. Though we shouldn't get too confident.'
Beloselsky nodded. 'Wouldn't want anyone to get too cocky, would we?'
'For all our wealth, sir, our army is a fraction of Austria's. If there were to be conflict with them, it would get very messy, very quickly.'
The Czar inclined his head. 'Yes, yes, I agree. Besides, war is not on The Agenda. If it is not on The Agenda, it does not happen.'
'So what is on The Agenda sir?' enquired Beloselsky.
'Eastern expansion and efficiency. Serious business, Mr Beloselsky! Our demographics are encouraging, though, More and more of our eastern citizens identify with the Tverian way of life.'
'Very impressive, sir.'
'I though so, Mr Beloselsky. It could be better, though – if more of them followed the One True Faith.'
Dobczyńska looked concerned. 'The Bill of Rights guarantees religious freedom, sir.'
'I know that, Dobczyńska. And it is a good thing! Makes people happier! More willing to pay their taxes! But it's a well-known fact that Orthodox Christians pay more.'
'How does that work? Surely everyone pays the same?'
'It's all very complicated, Dobczyńska. I agree that it should make no difference...charitable donations, perhaps? I'll check with the clerk, he's good with this sort of thing. Anyway, our provincial incomes are higher than ever.'
'Astrakhan and Novgorod still generating a fortune I see.'
'Indeed, Mr Beloselsky. Centres of Trade are the way forwards. Talking of which, I have established a new one in Tomsk to trade the valuable goods from our eastern provinces.'
'A bold move, sir. Setting Tomsk up as the capital of the east? Kachińsk is richer, would it not be better?'
'I know what you mean, but have a little faith! Hem. Tomsk is not the richest of those new provinces, but well-located. Fruitful iron deposits of its own. And I just like the name. And money is good! Though we must beware of inflation.'
'Don't you like my inflation?'
Beloselsky smiled. 'Give Tomsk a chance, Marta. I'm sure that one day it will be
beloved of artists and poets.'
'Spoken like a true diplomat, Mitrofan.'
'I try to be nice to everyone. You never know when you'll need them for something. By the way, your hair looks lovely.'
'Why thank you, I washed
waitaminute...'
'HEM. I have also proposed the foundation of new establishments to enhance our financial performance. Develop a thriving financial services industry for our empire.'
'Good plan, sir. Maybe we could set up such establishments in other countries as well?'
'That may be the future, Beloselsky. Somewhere warm. Maybe Mediterranean?'
'Greece or Cyprus might be good. What could possibly...'
Dobczyńska coughed. The diplomat understood.
'Spaseeba, Marta.'
'Why are you speaking English?'
'Sorry. Posted there for most of last year. They thank people for everything.'
'Strange people, the English. Impressive empire, though.'
'It is, though they don't control Ireland anymore.'
'No?'
'No. Ireland is mostly a Republic now.'
'A Republic of Ireland? The world gets stranger and stranger.'
A thoughtful look crossed the royal visage. 'An Administrative Republic, eh? Sounds exciting.'
Dobczyńska arched an elegant brow. 'You admire a
republic? Careful, sir.'
'Why shoudln't I? Wouldn't be right for Tver of course – far too large – but we can learn from the strengths of others. Their administration seems efficient. Hem. We like efficiency! Means more money.'
'Are you sure you've never been to Edinburgh, sir?'
'Looking eastwards, the Mongol Khanate is gone.'
'Gone sir?'
'Gone! Annexed.'
'By whom?'
'Manchu.'
'Ah. Thought they'd be a candidate..'
'Right. Well, thank you Beloselsky. Before you go back, write a letter to the Pope.'
'Why?'
'Why not? And if not, then why?'
'What about?'
'Anything you like! Should be easy for a man of your talents. Hem. Just write “Dear Pope” and see where it goes.'
'Shoudln't that be “Your Holiness”?'
'We're Orthodox, remember? We don't need to bother with that.'
'Very well sir.
”Dear Pope...”
'Now, Dobczyńska. What else has been happening?'
'The Lord Admiral is concerned, sir.'
'He's always concerned. Or is that just his face? He has a concerned face. Hem.'
'He's concerned that our navy isn't large enough to keep pace with our colonial exploits.'
'...but all our colonies can be reached overland, no?'
'Yes, sir. I think he's just trying to save his job.'
'Hmm! We'll see about that. Spot of naval disarmament, that'll show him who's boss. Hem!'
'Won't we need the navy if we end up at war with the Austrians, sir?'
'Not now, Dobczyńska. Not time for war. It is time for peace, and profit, and profitable peace. Quiet times in front of the fire. Glass of wine in one hand, balance sheet in the other.'
'Sounds like a skelterer of an evening, sir. Though talking of Austria, they're in a spot of bother.'
'Heavens. Too much expansion?'
'I think I'm very nicely expanded.'
'What did they do?'
'Went on a bit of an annexing spree.'
'Not on, Dobczyńska. Hem. Not on. Not good for long-term efficiency. Leads to what I believe is known as 'dogpiling'. As my father found out when he overstretched himself.'
'Nevertheless, they may do so again. May be time to upgrade out armies a bit.'
'Very well Dobczyńska. Some revisions of their tactics and weapons may be in order. I trust you'll whip our men into shape?'
'I'll soon have them standing to attention, sir.'
As predicted, the ruining of Austria's reputation led to international condemnation. A coalition of central European states asserted their rights to Austrian territories. A series of punitive wars were declared against the Holy Roman Emperor by his subjects and vassals, engulfing the Empire in war.
'You look hungry, Dobczyńska.'
'It's tempting, sir. Many far smaller nations than us have taken their chance to attack Austria...but we can't.'
'Why not? Silesia is a promising target.'
'Most of the countries who attacked Austria, sir, border her isolated provinces acquired through diplomacy. Austrian troops won't be able to reach them. We, on the other hand, have two borders large borders with the united section of their empire. We would have to face the full force of three hundred thousands soldiers plus vassals.'
'I see. Anything we can do?'
'Silesia is a recent acquisition of Austria's – rebel sympathies are likely to be high. And it is unconnected to their man provinces.'
'What are you suggesting?'
'Stir up rebellions in Silesia. Could lead to an independent Silesia, ripe for our taking.'
'Good thinking Dobczyńska. Can you see to it?'
'I know how to handle a powerful uprising, sir.'
Czar Aleksandr nodded his approval. 'Russian spies in Austria. Doubt we'll ever see that again.'
While Tver consolidated her position and improved her administration, Austria was under pressure. The massive empire was forces to cede the isolated province of Koblenz to the small Imperial state of Hesse.
'Such is the fate of the infamous, Dobczyńska!'
'Definitely, sir.'
'Thankfully, we still have the Hordes to expand into. Nobody minds if we take their territory.'
'Ah. About that, sir. News.'
'What?'
'For the first time in almost two hundred and fifty years, the Empire of Tver does not border a Steppe Horde.'
'Well, that's good news...though it does make expansion harder.'
'If you need help with your expansions, sir, I'm always...'
'How can they annex them? We never got to do that.'
'It's all very confusing, sir. Blame the Swedes.'
'When in doubt. Still. Cleaner borders! We know who our enemies are. Send Beloselsky to have a word with the easternm heathen. Bring them messages of peace – for now, at least.'
'Very good, sir. By the way, ahev you seen Anhalt?'
'Austria
and Bohemia?'
'They're either brave or mental. Probably some combination thereof, actually.'
'Well, one must risk to earn reward. Hence the stock exchanges.'
'Very true, sir.'
'Their courage is inspirational – but for now, we must be careful./ We are strong and wealthy, great things lie ahead of us! All the omens, Dobczyńska, are of glorious times to come!'