Eutopia NEWSLINK [official game events]

[von Streusser]

Tilapian Carriers Withdraw
Aerial Bombardment of New Bengal Ceases

Three days into the month-long unilateral local cease fire declared by New Bengali separatists on the Tilapian mainland, Buen Puerto appears to have responded positively to the conditions laid out for its continuation. The aircraft carriers Reina Francesca I and Isabella appear to have withdrawn from the New Bengal theater and returned to base in Buen Puerto. Although official word from the Tilapian government was slow in coming, the yacht Absolution, operated from international waters near the island by Amnesty Worldwide, reported that they had radar confirmation of both the ships and their air wings leaving the area.

Shortly after both ships arrived in Buen Puerto, the government officially announced that it had ceased fixed-wing air operations over the island of New Bengal, and was giving the sailors of the two carriers a month of "R and R". In a rare statement to the press, Queen Francesca herself said that "the sovereign nation of Tilapia is committed to the pursuit of peace and the satisfactory resolution of this conflict. As long as the individuals on the other side of this conflict continue to abstain from criminal activity, I have hope that we can come to some manner of agreement."

The Queen also fielded questions related to President Gonzov's proposed London summit, saying that she was "eager to meet" with separatist leadership, and praised Gonzov's continued commitment to resolving the conflict through diplomacy. "President Gonzov has stepped forward as a true champion of peace, while Eutopia's opposition parties, all three of them, have shown their true colors. It is disappointing, but not surprising, to know that such aggression is harbored in the hearts of some of our neighbors. I would not expect them to remain pliant and silent if we were rattling our saber at them, and for them to react in such a vitriolic way to our request that they cease doing so themselves...shows a lot about their character."

The Queen was, however, full of praise for not only Gonzov, but his partymate Reverend Woodrow Park, who she called "the architect of the cease fire". "While others have claimed peace on New Bengal to be 'their highest priority' or paid public lip service to the idea, Reverend Park was on the ground, laboring diligently in the pursuit of that ideal, accomplishing what others could not, or would not, do. He is an asset to his faith, to the United Provinces of Eutopia, and to that portion of humanity that constantly seeks to improve the lot of their fellows. I very much hope that he will attend and in fact moderate the summit to be held in London by President Gonzov."

In her remarks, the Queen made clear that while the Tilapian government was interested in reaching a peace, there was still a long way to go before it could be achieved. Even though the Tilapians have agreed to cease their fixed-wing operations over New Bengal, fighting continues on the ground in and around Nueva Cordoba. Additionally, while Francesca stated that she was "open to the idea" of allowing humanitarian organizations on the island, the separatists would have to make some sort of concession in return before it could be done. "From here on out, it's tit for tat. This has to go both ways" the Queen stated.

Aside from actually stopping the fighting on the island, several sticky issues springing from the crisis have yet to be resolved: disarming the populace; amnesty for those involved in the fighting; and the political future of the island itself, including the question of who would defend the island militarily if it were granted autonomy but remained within the Tilapian state. A high-ranking member of the Tilapian government, speaking on condition of anonymity, disclosed that while independence for New Bengal was absolutely off the table from the Queen's point of view, an accomodation could probably be reached on most other issues in an even exchange.

English Prime Minister Terry Black said that his government, while pleased to be hosting the summit, would not be participating. "This is a matter for the peoples of Tilapia and New Bengal to sort out. We do not feel we can contribute anything by joining the discussion, but are always happy to provide a safe and neutral venue for those interested in furthering the cause of peace to meet and sort out their differences."

A snap poll taken of online readers of NewsLink indicated that President Gonzov's approval ratings were experiencing a slight boost following the announcements by both countries.

Obituary: Franz von Hapsburg
Former Politician Killed in Bizarre Traffic Accident

Franz von Hapsburg, the politician who recently rose to infamy among conservatives with his, as one ENP backbencher put it, "counter-productive" election campaign, was killed yesterday in a busy Eutopia City street. Witnesses report that the former MGA was screaming something about "communist radicals" before dashing out into the street and attempting to tackle a red motorcycle.

"He was yelling about socialism, then suddenly jumped into the street, got down into a three-point stance, and threw himself at that motorcyclist. It was horrible" said one bystander. "His form was pretty darn good though."

The autopsy revealed that von Hapsburg, reviled in conservative circles for destroying the Eutopian Nationalist Party's electoral hopes with his strange campaign, was suffering from a hereditary blood disease known as Porphyria. While the medical examiner described the condition as "that disease that turned every monarch in Europe into an absolute nutter", members of the ENP were only minimally placated by the revelation. "Great" said one "but we already knew he was bonkers".

 

[von Streusser]

Foreign Crisis!
Tilapians Accuse Eutopia of Territory Violations, Gonzov of Threatening Ambassador With Firearm

Tilapian Ambassador Jonathan Perez issued a press release minutes ago, accusing the Eutopian government of espionage, armed incursion into Tilapian territory, and opening fire on Tilapian soldiers. Additionally, Perez claimed that President Gonzov drew a loaded firearm in the Tilapian Embassy and threatened the Ambassador with the weapon.

"A Eutopian spy ship, supported by submarine, landed special forces soldiers on New Bengal Island earlier today. These forces opened fire on a Tilapian patrol before heading farther inland. Shortly thereafter, Eutopian helicopters attempted to enter Tilapian territory in support of this illegal incursion. The submarine was chased from Tilapian territory with anti-submarine helicopters, and the Eutopian helicopters turned back after they were confronted by interceptors off the Isabella" said Ambassador Perez.

"Additionally" the Ambassador continued "President Gonzov himself came to the Tilapian Embassy, where he drew a loaded firearm and threatened me with it." The Tilapian government has released stills from surveillance cameras in the Embassy which clearly show Gonzov with a firearm pointed at the Ambassador, standing only a foot and a half away. Forensic photography experts indicated that, after initial analysis, the photographs do not appear to be doctored.

What impact Gonzov's actions will have on the New Bengal peace process is as yet uncertain, though Perez stated that the Tilapian government is now "extremely reluctant to continue to pursue peace through the avenues of a criminal administration". Gonzov's approval ratings, riding a slight rise since the announcement of the now-jeopardized London Summit, took a hit as the news sank in, especially among prominent left-wing groups commonly acknowledged as cornerstones to the ELP's success. However, his ratings did increase just above the survey's margin of error among firearms organizations and right wing groups favoring a strong stance against Tilapia.

The Tilapian government has demanded the immediate surrender of all Eutopian forces now on New Bengal, threatening force if they do not comply. Buen Puerto has also stated that any further violations of Tilapian territory will result in the violators being fired upon. The Tilapian military has gone on full alert, and Tilapian army units have been seen moving toward the border of Eutopia.

 

[von Streusser]

President Commits Suicide
Gonzov Kills Self in Office

President Gonzov committed suicide in the Presidential Office following the recent release of pictures by the Tilapian embassy showing him threatening the ambassador with a gun. Although no suicide note was found, Presidential staff speaking under condition of anonymity stated that Gonzov was buckling under the stress of dealing with the Oceanus incident, and that the incident in the embassy "most likely pushed him over the edge".

"He was a dedicated public servant" said his secretary "the thought that he had done irreparable damage to Eutopia's foreign relations, and in fact pushed the country closer to war when all he wanted was peace, was enough to destroy him mentally and emotionally." Opponents however, were less gracious. "Here, we thought he had finally gotten the right idea...sticking a gun in that ungrateful rebel's face. But then he had to go and be a weiner" said a member of the PEL who asked to remain anonymous.

Gonzov's death has paved the way for fellow ELP member Dr. Jonathan Glasser to return to the Presidency. Although Colin Leary of the PoL was slated to take the office at the time of Gonzov's death, Leary has disappeared from the public view and was declared absent following Glasser's election to the Speaker's chair.

Peace In Our Time!
Tilapian Police Action on New Bengal Ends

After 8 years and tens of thousands of casualties, the guns have gone silent on New Bengal island. Following a peace conference hosted by Amnesty Worldwide in Surrey, England, the leaders of the Separatist movement on New Bengal and the Tilapian government reached an agreement whereby the internal boundaries of Tilapia would be re-drawn, creating a new province consisting of the island of New Bengal. The practical implications of such a re-drawing would include the right to elect a provincial governor who would sit on the Consulate in Buen Puerto, and local control over those issues under the jurisdiction of the other provincial governments. Following the agreement, several hundred prisoners were safely released by both sides.

Sanjay Rajuparry, considered the head of the Separatist movement, has announced intentions to set up an interim provincial government while the new province rebuilds. "Only once infrastructure and basic utilities have been restored can we think about such matters as holding fair and valid elections. We must have water and electricity first, we must have a roof over our heads. Once our home is capable of supporting life once again, I will step aside and ensure that fair elections are held, finally reflecting the will of the people of New Bengal."

The damage to the province is indeed extensive, as nearly 85% of all buildings in the city of Nueva Cordoba have been rendered completely unusable. The vast majority of the remainder are damaged to varying extents, and utility infrastructure on the island has been almost completely destroyed. Because of the current inhospitability of the island, a flood of New Bengali refugees has begun to pour into the WET, rapidly overwhelming the ability of the local governments and humanitarian aid organizations to respond. Governor Thorsbeard of the WET submitted a formal request to the Federal government for emergency funding to deal with the growing crisis. "Thousands of New Bengalis have come to the WET, and the numbers are rising quickly" said a Red Cross/Red Crescent spokesper. "We anticipate nearly 10,000 refugees within the next week, and we may get as many as 30,000 while New Bengal rebuilds." It is estimated that local governments and aid organizations can handle approximately 5,000 refugees until the end of the term, but no longer.

Meanwhile, aid for the reconstruction of New Bengal has begun to stream in. The Tilapian government, their budget stretched to the breaking point by fighting such an extended police action, has been actively soliciting donations from Europe, Asia, and North America. Private donation drives in the United States have already succeeded in raising nearly $200 million, while similar campaigns in Europe have achieved fairly equal results. Aid has come in from governments in Bangladesh, Japan, Singapore, South Korea, the United States, Canada, Spain, the United Kingdom, Germany, Russia, France, and several other European states. However, the leading donator so far has been India, sending close to a billion dollars in aid collected both from private and government sources. India has also provided tents, emergency supplies, blankets, and temporary toilet and cooking facilities. The Tilapian government has provided open and accessible accounting thus far, allowing humanitarian organizations to monitor the flow of each dollar invested. Amnesty Worldwide has issued a report approving Tilapia's spending policies.

Tilapian and St. Espritian construction crews have already begun work on the island, levelling buildings and installing entirely new utility, transportation, and communications infrastructure. Additionally, many former separatists have surrendered their weapons to the Tilapian government in exchange for amnesty, and the government has turned around and sold those weapons for further funds to rebuild the island. While a number of private contractors in Eutopia have already accepted lucrative rebuilding contracts on the island, and individual donations have poured in to organizations like the Red Cross/Red Crescent and Amnesty Worldwide, no aid has been promised or delivered yet by the Eutopian government. Although substantial sums have been sunk into rebuilding the island already, the Tilapian government has stated that it is still in need of donations if they hope to re-open the city before the end of the term, and still far short of the sum needed to completely rebuild.

In related news, Reverend Woodrow Park, the mediator at the Surrey conference, has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts. The Nobel foundation issued a statement saying that Park "displayed the dedication to peace that exemplifies what we search for in awarding the Nobel Peace Prize".

Eutopian Violation of Tilapian Territory 'Accidental', Botched Rescue Attempt
Crew of Captured Ship Released by Former Separatists

A source within the Eutopian Defense Force revealed to NewsLink that the bizarre events of the day which ended with President Gonzov's suicide began when the Eutopian Coast Guard ship Oceanus ran aground on New Bengal island. The Oceanus, carrying sophisticated equipment for monitoring Tilapian forces operating near and on the island, was doing so when it beached.

"Gonzov made a hash of it from the start" said the source. "He was indecisive, scared, ignored advice from military professionals...it was an absolute mess. He couldn't make up his mind, and his waffling cost us a lot of time...and probably any chance of rescuing the crew of the Oceanus. Even when it became clear that his ideal rescue plan wasn't going to work, he didn't want to try anything else. The worst part was that his primary concern wasn't saving our crew, but trying not to get caught."

Matters worsened when a Tilapian patrol happened upon the scene. While the ship's crew was trying to destroy evidence of their activities, separatists apparently ambushed the Tilapians and captured the crew. The elimination of the patrol led the Tilapians to believe that the Oceanus was actually landing Eutopian soldiers on New Bengal. Following the conclusion of a peace accord in the conflict, the New Bengali fighters released the crew of the Oceanus unhurt. The ship itself has been taken into Tilapian possession, while most of the equipment was reported captured by the then-separatists.

Radio Free Radio Free Eutopia Raided
Hosts Bacon, Black Arrested, Attorney General Detained

Radio Free Radio Free Eutopia, a new and marginally popular independent radio station known for its unorthodox broadcasting style was raided by Federal police during an investigation into potential national security violations. Shortly after the hosts of the station reported that Tilapian military units were massing on the Eutopian border, the station went off-air and both hosts Charles Bacon and Antonin Black were detained. Both have been released and RFRFE is now back on the air.

Related to the investigation, Attorney General Ian Asre was detained by Federal authorities. Sources close to the investigation revealed that there was "some fairly convincing evidence that someone in the AG's office may have been involved" but were otherwise tight-lipped. Under the Eutopian National Secrets Act (Revised), the President would have to charge any suspects before prosecution could begin. The Presidential ministry has yet to comment.

Business Beat

Economic watchdogs report that, following President Gonzov's suicide, a number of divisions of Gonzov, Inc. have been purchased by several foreign holding companies. Additionally, several division heads of Amric Al'Aeshir Holdings, in a desperate ploy to raise cash and against the wishes of their now-nominal President Al'Aeshir, have held Initial Public Offerings of their stock. In recent weeks, a large percentage of these divisions' assets and stock have been bought up by foreign creditors at bargain rates, as what's left of the company continues to struggle.

 

[The_Hawk]

Ministry of Social Services Releases Census Results, Analysis

The Ministry of Social Services Census Bureau today announced the long-awaited release of the latest census results for the island. Bureau spokesper Hans Gattelheim attributed the long waiting period to the difficulty in analyzing ongoing trends, as well as culling data from sometimes uncooperative Tilapian and St. Espritan officials. The full data set can be found on the MoSS website.

"The census results reveal that the island of Eutopia has undergone significant growth for a developing nation. We attribute much of this to immigration-friendly policies over the past several terms, coupled with recent economic growth," said spokesper Gattelheim. Gattelheim said that these latest numbers showed numerous interesting trends. "Perhaps the most pronounced population shift we've noted is the migration of Anglo populations in Tilapia and St. Esprit to the United Provinces of Eutopia, while simulataneously, Spanish and French-speaking populations in the UPE have tended to migrate to Tilapia and St. Esprit, respectively." Several provinces in the UPE have seen an already minimal Hispanophone or Francophone populations reduced to negligible ones as part of this move toward ethnic homogenization within the island's three nations.

It should be noted, however, that some regions buck this trend. The emigration of Francophone populations from the UPE southeast has been offset by the continued immigration of Western Saharans, which has been ongoing for over forty years. So constant is this trend that one of Castellar's largest tourism draws is now its "Little Laayoune" neighborhood, a vibrant Western Saharan community almost unheard of anywhere else in the world. In a similar resistance to these trends, the southern expanse of Western Eutopia has seen a number of migrant Tilapian workers who have come north to fulfill the need for high-paying semiskilled labor in the region's oilfields.

Another notable trend revolving around the oilfields is the substantial growth in Western Eutopia generally, with over 150% population growth since the last census. This counterbalances two decades of slow Topan migration away from Western Eutopia following the economic decline of the region, most notably its centuries-old native fishing industry. The net result of these two trends has been a migration of oil-workers, largely foreign Westerners, into the provinces, such that Anglophones now outnumber native Topans almost two to one -- a staggering shift from mere decades ago, when Topans outnumbered Anglos almost four to one. During the lengthy New Bengal crisis, Western Eutopia also received a substantial numbers of New Bengali migrants. While this term's influx are refugees who are expected to be temporary residents, many of those who came before have settled down and are expected to create a substantial ethnic bloc even after the reconstruction of the island.

Gattelheim also noted a continued shift of Eutopia's population toward the cities, which, particularly in the Capital District, is likely to lead to pollution and other social problems. This trend is attributed to last term's economic growth, which also helped increase Eutopia's appeal as a migration destination for job-seekers from around the world. "Despite the emigration of many Spanish and French speakers from our nation, Eutopia continues to deserve its reputation as the melting pot of the Atlantic," Gattelheim opined.

Queen Maria Expresses Concern Over Topan Population Shift

Coming hot on the heels of the long-awaited census results, Queen Maria issued a public statement through her Chief of Staff, Sir Hawkton Tilly, regarding the population boom in Western Eutopia and its effects on the native Topan population.

"The Queen is gravely concerned by the effects of a generation of economic and social neglect shown to her people by successive governments. The failure of the previous Republics to provide meaningful economic opportunities to Western Eutopia's youth has resulted in a great exodus of young Topans away from their homeland, and away from their native culture," Tilly said.

"The nation's recent economic boom has aided, and has been driven by, Western Eutopia. But young Topans have rarely benefitted. Even for oil-industry jobs -- hard, back-breaking, and dangerous work -- Anglos have often been imported rather than use the local labor. Anglos have the best, highest-paying jobs in Western Eutopia, and now outnumber Topa almost two-to-one. Western Eutopia as a whole is benefitting from oil wealth, but the Topa are not. I wish I could say that the situation was improving, but given the latest 'Western Eutopian Territory' gaffe by Per Berenguerr, and the total failure of his fellow MGAs to correct his error, I can only surmise that the neglect continues."

Tilly called for a national initiative to preserve Topan culture. The centerpiece of this initiative is the new $4 million Institute of Topan Research Studies outside Farpoint. It is suggested that this site might become the regular meeting place of the National Topan Council, which has since the 1800s rotated around the island. If formalized, this proposal would bring significant economic benefits to Farpoint every year at the time of the annual meeting of the Council, though to the detriment of the other provinces where the meetings might otherwise be held. Tilly also expressed the willingness of the Royal Foundation to provide matching funds if the federal government would help to develop a Western Eutopian university. Western Eutopia is currently the only UPE province without at least one university. "These are only the first steps," Tilly said. "We must act now to assure that the Topa will have a tomorrow."

In other royal news, the Queen will celebrate her 88th birthday this weekend. Asked about the Queen's health, Tilly stated that "she's as well as anyone her age."

Eutopian Central Bank Warns of Slowdown in Growth

The Eutopian Central Bank issued a quarterly report today, warning that recent trends suggest that Eutopia's growth spike is beginning to slow. "Despite the collapse of Amric Al'Aeshir Holdings, our nation did remarkably well economically last term, with a good groundwork laid for a recovery going into the start of this term," said ECB financial analyst Warrinda Mooney. "We're starting to see the end of that trend."

Mooney specifically noted that wages have stagnated while inflation continues to drive the cost of living up. Housing starts have also begun to drop, though some of this is attributed to the cyclical nature of the construction industry. In addition, and perhaps most worryingly, for the first quarter since the beginning of the Term, unemployment began to climb.

According to the ECB, a number of factors are responsible. Most directly responsible is the failure of Eutopia's politicians to capitalize on the gains made last Term. Said Mooney, "Contrary to last term, where several measures were passed to stimulate growth and development, we have seen virtually no economic measures come out of the General Assembly this term. The MGAs have been concerned largely with pet projects." Mooney noted that ELP's Reverend Woodrow "Woody" Park had proposed some positive measures as Minister of Finance, such as his proposed countervailing duty on Chinese imports, but went on to say "Park has his own pet projects, too, which aren't necessarily growth-oriented. Plus, there's only so much he can do as MoF without the involvement of the legislature."

Also of concern was the extremely high turnover the government has experienced during this Term. "This is a pitchfork of a problem," said Mooney. "If President Vandelft is replaced, as it appears he will be, the UPE will hit an all-time high of five presidents in this Term alone, and the Ministries haven't been much better. Obviously, it is difficult to project an air of stability with our high offices constantly changing hands, and in such times, investors are more likely to hoard their money - or invest it elsewhere - than pump it into the economy. Another tine is that our politicians have to be occupied with filling offices and keeping the government running rather than restoring our economy. A third tine is that it's hard to implement a comprehensive economic policy when your government is regularly switching from one party to another."

"Hopefully, the government can ground itself and get some peace and prosperity going," said Mooney. "Otherwise, we're looking at many more quarters like this one."

 

[von Streusser]

Tilapia Attacks!
Queen Maria Dies, Queen Francesca Invades to Seize 'Rightful Claim to Eutopian Throne'

Just days after Queen Maria died of old age, the Tilapian army has invaded Eutopia, and appears to be in control of Eutopia City. Although details remain sketchy at this point due to difficulties with island-wide communications networks, it appears that the surprise assault began during the recently scheduled joint Eutopian-Tilapian wargames. Eutopian forces, deployed out of their defensive positions and armed with only training equipment, were surprised by combat-equipped Tilapian forces. Large percentages of the Eutopian army appear to be in captivity as of this publishing, including the vast majority of the military command structure.

With armed and combat-ready formations already inside the borders, the Tilapian army rolled into multiple city centers in a matter of hours. With unexplained failures of most of the communications network around the island, resistance was spotty and easily mopped up when it occurred at all.

Shortly after the capture of much of the armed forces, Tilapian special operations teams landed at Eutopia City airport and began securing various high-value targets. Pandemic Eutopian intelligence failures allowed hundreds of secret agents within the Eutopian government and law enforcement to aid in the capture of military, government, and other important targets. Soon after Eutopia City was secured, Queen Francesca of Tilapia aired a radio broadcast announcing Tilapia was taking control of the country.

"I am securing that which has always been my birthright...the throne of Eutopia. The United Provinces of Eutopia, as of this moment, no longer exist. Those who resist this change of sovereignty will be dealt with accordingly...those who support the new government will find the rewards more than worth their while, and certainly better than the situation under any previous government."

Although it is unknown how the Tilapians plan on governing the new provinces under their rule, it is apparent that there will be little to no more formal resistance under the Eutopian flag. With the term having just ended, the civilian government is in an uncertain state, and most of the previous government has either fled the country or surrendered to Tilapian forces. With the future uncertain, only one thing is currently clear.

The Tilapian flag now flies over Eutopia's General Assembly building.

And thus ends Eutopia Four.

 

[The_Hawk]

VOLCANO ERUPTS!
Molten Lava Buries Tilapian, Eutopian Forces; Most of UPE's Politicians Missing, Presumed Dead

In a shocking turn of events, Eutopia City and the rest of the Capital District was destroyed this morning when a volcano abruptly exploded within the city limits. Ash continues to blanket the rest of the island, and magma flows are closing on Hafnia and Santiago in Tilapia at the time of this writing.

Initial reports are sketchy, but according to some sources, Eutopian military forces still contesting the Tilapian seizure of Eutopia City noted something was amiss at dawn, when Lake Orange, to the southwest of the city, was noted bubbling and emitting noxious fumes. The Eutopian forces were unable to investigate before being driven off by the Tilapian invaders. Less than an hour later, the volcano erupted, destroying both forces.

It is at this point unclear precisely what the cause of the eruption is. It has long been appreciated by scientists that the island of Eutopia was created by volcanic activity over a million years ago; indeed, Lake Orange itself was formed by a volcanic caldera which has long been inactive. However, the island is believed to have become volcanically inactive many millenia before the first colonists arrived, and no volcanic or seismic events have been experienced in recorded history.

With most of Tilapia's military deployed in Eutopia City, and much of the UPE's forces either captured or attempting to fight off the invaders, it appears the Tilapian invasion has stalled. A more immediate concern, however, is the political status of both countries. Most of Eutopia's politicians were present in Eutopia City when Tilapia seized capital, and are believed to have been interred with POWs on the shores of Lake Orange; none are believed to have survived. On the Tilapian side, General Scott Summers is believed to have been in Eutopia City at the time of the eruption. More disturbing, however, are reports that Queen Francesca may have been en route to Eutopia City to review troops when the city was destroyed. Tilapian officials have been scrambling to produce reliable word of the Queen's fate.

We'll bring you more updates as this shocking day continues.

Part 1 of 3

 

[The_Hawk]

ROBOT HELL!
Army of Robots Emerges from Western Eutopia, Seizes Northern Half of Island

In another stunning development today, several divisions of armed humanoid combat robots emerged from an unknown location in Western Eutopia today, sweeping across the country in a tireless march. The 'bots have seized control of Farpoint, the major cities of Jacobia, and New Lancaster, and have begun pressing south toward Neuwestbaden. The exact reason for the invasion remains unclear, but the robots have begun erecting defensive positions in the cities they have secured.

An attempted resistance at the U.S. Naval Base at Farpoint apparently ended badly for the Americans, as the robots savaged the facility with lasers. As of this evening, the U.S. had declared war against the unidentified robot army and had begun evacuating Farpoint Naval. In other locations, the robots appear to have established a curfew, and are exterminating anyone seen outside after it.

Their efforts may be hampered by further volcanic activity, however. According to witnesses, numerous volcanic faults have opened around the island, injecting powerful warm currents into areas immediately offshore. These currents appear to be precisely generated to force vessels back toward Eutopia's shores, though how such a thing is possible is unclear even to vulcanologists. The majority of vessels which have failed to escape so far have been forced to return to port, and a number of ships have run aground. Similarly, all flights have been grounded after a chartered flight from New Lancaster City to London was shot down by a robot laser battery.

Meanwhile, on the opposite end of the island, St. Esprit, justifiably concerned about their continued survival in these tumultuous times, sent a band of civilians east to secure Hurteau. Meeting with no resistance, they were quick to seize the Marine barracks and equip themselves, tripling the defensive strength of the little nation overnight. Despite having divisions on the St. Espritan border, Tilapia has remained notably silent about this activity; indeed, no news has come out of Buen Puerto since Tilapia commenced their invasion.

NEWSLINK Exclusive Interview!

This is Chet Hapablap, reporting for NEWSLINK. I'm here with one of the robot invaders, designated 190-D4. I'm not sure what to make of that. 190-D4 appears to be a typical specimen of his type; approximately six feet tall, roughly humanoid in shape, and seems to be covered with some sort of glossy metallic blue armor. He's packing a rotary cannon of some type, as well as what appears to be a pack of unguided rockets, and what's probably the most surprising piece of equipment, a double-barreled laser cannon. Also notably, 190-D4 what is clearly an Operational Security, Incorporated insignia on his right breast. OSI, you will remember, was once controlled by Dr. Yuri Voshkod. Mr. D4, thank you for sitting down with me today.

D4: PLEASURE EQUALS MINE, SUBJECT.

CH: Mr. D4, perhaps you can tell us what you're doing here.

D4: ENEMY ACTIVITY HAS REACHED CRITICAL LEVELS. WE ARE DEPLOYED PURSUANT TO PROTOCOL 14.

CH: D4, you and your robot brethren have secured several cities and have begun enforcing a curfew. Can you tell us why?

D4: ENEMY ACTIVITY IS 78 PERCENT MORE LIKELY AFTER DARK. PROTOCOL 63 REQUIRES PREPARATION OF DEFENSIVE POSITIONS.

CH: As you know, D4, we've recently suffered a series of horrendous events here in Eutopia, of which your invasion is the latest. Can you shed any light on those?

D4: ACTIVATION OF VOLCANIC FISSURE NECESSARY TO EXTERMINATE BROOD QUEEN PURSUANT TO PROTOCOL 27.

CH: So you're responsible for the eruption of the volcano that destroyed Eutopia City?

D4: AFFIRMATIVE, SUBJECT.

CH: What about the offshore volcanic fissures? Are those your doing as well?

D4: AFFIRMATIVE, SUBJECT. PROTOCOL 10 REQUIRES QUARANTINE OF ALL AREAS INFECTED BY ENEMY.

CH: So the entire island of Eutopia has been affected by this enemy?

D4: AFFIRMATIVE, SUBJECT. INFESTATION HAS REACHED CRITICAL LEVELS AS DEFINED BY PROTOCOL 2.

CH: This enemy, is it the Tilapian military? Were you built to defend against them?

D4: NEGATIVE, SUBJECT. PROTOCOL 1 DICTATES OUR RAISON D'ETRE.

CH: That's quite a phrase for a robot.

D4: WE ARE WELL-PROGRAMMED, SUBJECT, PURSUANT TO PROTOCOL 18.

CH: So you know some French. Are you from St. Esprit?

D4: NEGATIVE, SUBJECT.

CH: Getting back to this enemy... you said it wasn't Tilapia?

D4: SEARCHING FOR DATA...

CH: <waits>

D4: IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING, ENEMY EQUALS TILAPIA, SUBJECT.

CH: I don't understand. Tilapia's the enemy, but their military isn't?

D4: DOES NOT COMPUTE.

CH: I couldn't agree more.

D4: DOES NOT COMPUTE.

CH: Let's lay our cards on the table, D4; who is your enemy?

D4: CONSULT PROTOCOL 1.

CH: I don't...

D4: FAILURE TO IDENTIFY ENEMY IS A VIOLATION OF PROTOCOL 8. FAILURE TO ACCESS PROTOCOL 1 IS A VIOLATION OF PROTOCOL 9.

CH: But I...

D4: VIOLATION OF PROTOCOL 8 IDENTIFIES SUBJECT AS A CARRIER, INVIOLATION OF PROTOCOL 23.

CH: What?!

D4: VIOLATION OF PROTOCOL 23 RESULTS IN TERMINATION OF SUBJECT. <high-pitched whine>

CH: Oh God, no!

D4: TERMINATE! TERMINATE!

<end transmission>

Part 2 of 3

 

[The_Hawk]

BROOD QUEEN EMERGES!
Queen Francesca Returns, Revealed to Be Leader of Nuclear Terror

Filed from London

A new horror was visited on Eutopia today, as scores of chittering camel spiders the size of dinner plates swarmed from sewers, gopher holes, mines, and underground bunkers. These terrible beasts have set upon every living thing on the island, with their glowing fangs dripping a fast-acting poison. But even more horrifying than the camel spider hordes themselves is their leader.

Queen Francesca, thought to have died when her chopper went down over Eutopia City, emerged from the Capitol District Waste Zone this morning and held a press conference. "The Collective is the new power on this island!" she rasped through her enormous, clicking jaws. "All living beings must surrender, that they may die serving honorably as the hatcheries of our next generation!"

Brood Queen Francesca was quick to discourage outside interference in her plans. "Thanks to our mother's faithful servant, Hawkton Tilly, we have secured the H.O.U.N.D. equipment and used it to seize control of the American-built Mephistopheles orbital laser platform. The weapon has been calibrated, and we are prepared to destroy Washington if forced!"

"It is my greatest honor to serve the Brood Queen!" cried Tilly, moments before his torso exploded, releasing a swarm of camel spider broodlings. Security cameras still operating on the island suggest that this is the fate of anyone fatally bitten by one of the mutant camel spiders. It is hypothesized that already, the entire population of St. Esprit has been converted by this means.

The survivors remaining on the island are believed to be concentrated in the northern regions, under the questionably helpful cannons of OSI's robot army. It is now widely accepted that the camel spider Collective is the "enemy" referred to by robot agents in recent press statements. Robots and camel spiders have been seen to engage in open warfare in some border towns, with the surviving human population, caught in the middle, invariably suffering horrendous casualties. With the island reduced to a warzone, it is anticipated that few, if any, Eutopians will survive the week.

Brood Queen Francesca was quick to place the blame for the conflict. "It is you who created me, Yuri Voshkod! You and your experiments! And you who created the robots who oppose me! Let those who die before incubation curse your name! We are the Collective! We shall not be stopped!"

Meanwhile, despite the threats against his nation's capital, the President of the United States went before the United Nations today. In an impassioned speech, he volunteered his nation's arsenal to "scour the island of Eutopia with nuclear fire, for the salvation of all humanity." Tomorrow's Security Council vote will determine if the U.S. is permitted to act with U.N. sanction. Despite the apparent U.S. breach of international treaties respecting the militarization of space, unanimous approval for the U.S.-sponsored action is expected.

Part 3 of 3
...and so ends Eutopia. OR DOES IT?!