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I can't see what you mean with having too many unlawful provinces to go to war. You could annex Mainz and reduce Hessen to their capital without getting either infamy or unlawful territory. You have the infamy room to pick up a second vassal, too, if anyone attractive is available. Unless I've missed something, your house rules does allow two more - I'd recommend any 2 of Savoy, Brandenburg and the Pope. It's probably up to the current political situation though, so the final call is yours.
Good. Thats means Im doing it right.
No, your spot on. It was the leader. He was sort of a scaredycat and didnt want war. thats all. Id love to ally with Brandenburg, But Brandenburg was still in a PU.
New Chapter shall be released today when I get off work.
Chapter VII: Wurzburg, You're In The Way!!
Maximiliam: Ah, This is going to be great. You two, my most trusted associate. Tell me, what does our country needs the most??
Marius: When what you hear and what you see don't match, trust your eyes.
Gukpa: Well Sir Maximiliam, we're not a very thought of nation. Most people don't like us due to our lower prestige.
Maxi: Please, call me Maxi. Prestige eh? Well, I have two Questions. 1) isnt that what he is for, 2) why in Gods name are you so pale??
Gukpa: Im pale because im dead, Yes he here to bring us prestige. Thats what smart people do.
Maxi: You callin me stupid?
Gukpa: If the shoe fits...
Maxi: Sir, I will have you hanged!!
Gukpa: Already dead.
Maxi: Ill tie rocks to your feet and throw you in a river!!
Gukpa: Thats a good one, but already dead.
Maxi: I'll rip off your fingers and toes, ONE BY ONE!!!
Gukpa: No, let me do it for you!! (Proceeds to rip off fingers one by one.)
Maxi: Thats so.....
Gukpa: Gross I know.
Maxi: AWESOME!! Can you do it with your Neck??
Gukpa: Before that, where is the Glue??
Marius: Ignorance is Bliss
Gukpa: The City of Oberphalz wishes to go back under Bavarian Rule.
Maxi: Are you serious. I dont like lies. I kill people over lies.
Gukpa: Already dead.
Maxi: oh yea...... Well tell them no.
Gukpa: Sir, they rebelled...
Maxi: Thats an easy answer. Kill them all. Force the survivors to go to church.
Gukpa: Why?
Maxi: Dont get backhanded. Just do it.
Gukpa: Dont make me eat you...
Maxi: Your threats are so much worse....
Gukpa: Sir. some money has gone missing from the National Safe. You wouldnt know anything about that, would you?
Maxi(with shifty eyes): ......No.....
Gukpa: Sir
Maxi:......
Gukpa: Where are the ducats?
Maxi: Well, I have this...... hobby....
Gukpa: I God not again.....
Maxi: I love the feel of body Oils. I rub myself down in them. Sometimes even with other people.
Gukpa: O_______O
Maxi: ............
Gukpa: Well at least its with women
Marius walks in: My skin is so smooooooth!!
Maxi: Just forget we had this conversation......
Gukpa: O______________________________O
Gukpa: I believe its time for us to go to war Sir.
Maxi: You think thats a good Idea?
Gukpa: Im commander of the Army. At this point. I will do anything to get out of this building.....
Maxi: What was that?
Gukpa: Nevermind, I'm leaving.
Maxi: Wait a minute, before you go Gukki Poo. I've been thinking. We, Hesse and Wurzburg are all Rhinelanders correct?
Gukpa: Yes.
Maxi: Wouldnt it be much easier to just unite us all since we are all pretty much the same person??
Gukpa: Well yea that would be smart.
Maxi: Well, I hereby declare this to be our first war of Unification. Wurzburg shall be First.
Gukpa: Very nicely done Sir. Now lets get back to the problem at hand shall we.
Maxi: whats the problem?
Gukpa:.... Did you just call me, Gukki Poo??
Maxi: Well yes I did.
Gukpa: War has already been declared sire.
Lorenz: Good now do away with their leaders. Do be careful not to kill everyone, The're not Bavarians you know!!
Gukpa: Sir, why didnt you call the Bavarians to war yet?
Lorenz: Because, I wanted to say this before we went to war..... Call the Dogs!! You see what I did there!!
Gukpa: That somehow brings up very painful memories....
Gukpa: What a Wonderful war!
Lorenz: You handled our armies magnificently.
Gukpa: Thanks but, sir, you are getting waaay to close to me. Could you back up please....
Lorenz: By the way, are you Irish? I've been noticing How pale you are. I shall call you Jimmy! I got a Claymore er ya here Jimmy. But ya needs ta rub it first!!
Gukpa: Excuse Me??
LorenzL Im sorry, Read the mood wrong.
Gukpa: Read the?? Excuse me??
Lorenz: Can I ask you a Favor. May I rub your feet??
Gukpa: That does It, I cant go through another one of these nutjobs.
Lorenz: Where are you going??
Gukpa: Im a zombie, the only way to get rid of myself is by incineration.....
Lorenz: But your Feet!!
Maximiliam: Ah, This is going to be great. You two, my most trusted associate. Tell me, what does our country needs the most??
Marius: When what you hear and what you see don't match, trust your eyes.
Gukpa: Well Sir Maximiliam, we're not a very thought of nation. Most people don't like us due to our lower prestige.
Maxi: Please, call me Maxi. Prestige eh? Well, I have two Questions. 1) isnt that what he is for, 2) why in Gods name are you so pale??
Gukpa: Im pale because im dead, Yes he here to bring us prestige. Thats what smart people do.
Maxi: You callin me stupid?
Gukpa: If the shoe fits...
Maxi: Sir, I will have you hanged!!
Gukpa: Already dead.
Maxi: Ill tie rocks to your feet and throw you in a river!!
Gukpa: Thats a good one, but already dead.
Maxi: I'll rip off your fingers and toes, ONE BY ONE!!!
Gukpa: No, let me do it for you!! (Proceeds to rip off fingers one by one.)
Maxi: Thats so.....
Gukpa: Gross I know.
Maxi: AWESOME!! Can you do it with your Neck??
Gukpa: Before that, where is the Glue??
Marius: Ignorance is Bliss
Gukpa: The City of Oberphalz wishes to go back under Bavarian Rule.
Maxi: Are you serious. I dont like lies. I kill people over lies.
Gukpa: Already dead.
Maxi: oh yea...... Well tell them no.
Gukpa: Sir, they rebelled...
Maxi: Thats an easy answer. Kill them all. Force the survivors to go to church.
Gukpa: Why?
Maxi: Dont get backhanded. Just do it.
Gukpa: Dont make me eat you...
Maxi: Your threats are so much worse....
Gukpa: Sir. some money has gone missing from the National Safe. You wouldnt know anything about that, would you?
Maxi(with shifty eyes): ......No.....
Gukpa: Sir
Maxi:......
Gukpa: Where are the ducats?
Maxi: Well, I have this...... hobby....
Gukpa: I God not again.....
Maxi: I love the feel of body Oils. I rub myself down in them. Sometimes even with other people.
Gukpa: O_______O
Maxi: ............
Gukpa: Well at least its with women
Marius walks in: My skin is so smooooooth!!
Maxi: Just forget we had this conversation......
Gukpa: O______________________________O
Gukpa: I believe its time for us to go to war Sir.
Maxi: You think thats a good Idea?
Gukpa: Im commander of the Army. At this point. I will do anything to get out of this building.....
Maxi: What was that?
Gukpa: Nevermind, I'm leaving.
Maxi: Wait a minute, before you go Gukki Poo. I've been thinking. We, Hesse and Wurzburg are all Rhinelanders correct?
Gukpa: Yes.
Maxi: Wouldnt it be much easier to just unite us all since we are all pretty much the same person??
Gukpa: Well yea that would be smart.
Maxi: Well, I hereby declare this to be our first war of Unification. Wurzburg shall be First.
Gukpa: Very nicely done Sir. Now lets get back to the problem at hand shall we.
Maxi: whats the problem?
Gukpa:.... Did you just call me, Gukki Poo??
Maxi: Well yes I did.
Gukpa: War has already been declared sire.
Lorenz: Good now do away with their leaders. Do be careful not to kill everyone, The're not Bavarians you know!!
Gukpa: Sir, why didnt you call the Bavarians to war yet?
Lorenz: Because, I wanted to say this before we went to war..... Call the Dogs!! You see what I did there!!
Gukpa: That somehow brings up very painful memories....
Gukpa: What a Wonderful war!
Lorenz: You handled our armies magnificently.
Gukpa: Thanks but, sir, you are getting waaay to close to me. Could you back up please....
Lorenz: By the way, are you Irish? I've been noticing How pale you are. I shall call you Jimmy! I got a Claymore er ya here Jimmy. But ya needs ta rub it first!!
Gukpa: Excuse Me??
LorenzL Im sorry, Read the mood wrong.
Gukpa: Read the?? Excuse me??
Lorenz: Can I ask you a Favor. May I rub your feet??
Gukpa: That does It, I cant go through another one of these nutjobs.
Lorenz: Where are you going??
Gukpa: Im a zombie, the only way to get rid of myself is by incineration.....
Lorenz: But your Feet!!
End OF Chapter VII
MORE CONQUESTS.
also, since I was before belgiumruler, I demand to become the next adviser.
also, since I was before belgiumruler, I demand to become the next adviser.
:3
Chapter VIII: Two New Faces, Two New Wars!!
Lorenz: Please Sir Gukpa. It was only a joke. There is no need for you to leave. Who is going to command my Armies??
Gukpa: I dont know, I dont care. Find somebody else.
Marius: If death meant leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?
Gukpa: I would run as fast as I could to get a new life!!
Voice: Fine let him leave.
All three men turn and look.
Gukpa: and you are??
Lorenz: Ah, You must be Carolus!! Glad to have you aboard. Everyone, I would like you to say hello. He is our new Chief of Administration.
Carolus: Pleased to make all of your acquaintance.
Marius: Such a nice Person.
Gukpa: Ah, someone to help. Good you'll need it now that I'm gone. I shall be on my way.
Gukpa began to walk for the xit.
Carolus: Good. Now that you're gone, I shall control the Army. If you stayed you might even learn how to do it correctly.
Gukpa stopped. Turned very slowly.
Gukpa: What did you say?
Carolus: You heard me. Your time here is up old man. You should have left ages ago.
Gukpa: Now you look here. THIS IS MY ARMY. I led us in the second war against the Bavarians, I led us to the Annexation of Wurzburg. You think you can come in here straight out of military school and take command of the army I CREATED?? You got some stones boy!! What school did you graduate from??
Carolus: Nassau Academy. Top of my Class.
Gukpa: OH, your from Hesse??
Carolus: No, I'm from Frankfurt. Frankfurt doesn't have a military Academy.
Gukpa: Did you enjoy your stay in Nassau??
Carolus: Yes I did. It was an amazing place.
Gukpa: That's nice. Sir Lorenz, I am using my authority as Chief of the Army to Burn Hesse to te Ground.
Lorenz: Very well. Don't destroy too much of it. we still need its resources. We need them for our Future endeavors.
Gukpa: oh no sir. I'm just burning down Nassau. We have the best military school in Germany placed in Franken. We dont need on in Nassau as well.
Carolus: Dont forget to cal Bavaria. You know you cant win this war without them!!
Gukpa: Watch Me.
Ya see that boy. That Is how you Take down an Army. And I didnt even go to school to learn how. This is my job.
Maximiliam: That was a wonderful war. Wonderful indeed. You sure showed our enemies.
Gukpa: Why thank you. I even did it without the help of Bavaria.
Carolus:...... I could have done that.
Gukpa: BUT YOU DIDNT DID YOU!!
Carolus: ........
Maxi: So, either of you men good with Diplomacy??
Both men Shrugged.
Maxi: Well we are in a situation. We just received war from the Poop (Yeah You Read That Correctly) calling a Crusade to Morocco. Apparently, Infidels have made it to rome and conquered it AND the surrounding areas. The Emperor has made a Decree to reclaim those provinces.
Gukpa: In..... Italy?
Carolus: There is no way you expect us to march our armies thousands of miles for a war we have no part in!!
Maxi: Yes
Carolus: Your an Idiot.
Maxi: well what do you want me to do huh??
Gukpa: you cant just WALK through someone elses nation like that without a written consent form from the Emperor himself.
Carolus: that would cause a war. We need to find another way to do this.
Maxi: Well, what do you have in mind.
Marius: Hire an Ambassador.
A Short Time Later....
Maxi: Hello, welcome. We hired you because we are realling hurting for a Diplomat and your the best one in 100 miles. Whats Your name?
Voice: My name Is Gudmund Niklas Örjan Rudolf Fredrik. But my Friends call me Gnorf for short.
Gukpa: Thats one hell of a name!!
Gnorf: My Mother couldnt decide on a name, so she just gave me all of them.
Carolus: What a nice Lady.
Maxi: Not that your Here, we need to get passage to Italy.
Gnorf: That will take some time. In the Mean, why dont you go to war with Thuringia, they are beaten and battered after a wr with Bohemia and wish to ally with us. It would be easier to protect them if they were a part of our nation.
Carolus: I like the way you think!! This Time IM commanding the Army.
Gukpa: Be my guest. Lets see what you got Rookie!!
Carolus: You see THAT. Took me 6 months to beat Thuringia. Let me see you do that?
Gukpa: Cough(BAVARIA HELPED)
Carolus: What?
Gukpa: Nothing, Carry on.
Lorenz: Please Sir Gukpa. It was only a joke. There is no need for you to leave. Who is going to command my Armies??
Gukpa: I dont know, I dont care. Find somebody else.
Marius: If death meant leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?
Gukpa: I would run as fast as I could to get a new life!!
Voice: Fine let him leave.
All three men turn and look.
Gukpa: and you are??
Lorenz: Ah, You must be Carolus!! Glad to have you aboard. Everyone, I would like you to say hello. He is our new Chief of Administration.
Carolus: Pleased to make all of your acquaintance.
Marius: Such a nice Person.
Gukpa: Ah, someone to help. Good you'll need it now that I'm gone. I shall be on my way.
Gukpa began to walk for the xit.
Carolus: Good. Now that you're gone, I shall control the Army. If you stayed you might even learn how to do it correctly.
Gukpa stopped. Turned very slowly.
Gukpa: What did you say?
Carolus: You heard me. Your time here is up old man. You should have left ages ago.
Gukpa: Now you look here. THIS IS MY ARMY. I led us in the second war against the Bavarians, I led us to the Annexation of Wurzburg. You think you can come in here straight out of military school and take command of the army I CREATED?? You got some stones boy!! What school did you graduate from??
Carolus: Nassau Academy. Top of my Class.
Gukpa: OH, your from Hesse??
Carolus: No, I'm from Frankfurt. Frankfurt doesn't have a military Academy.
Gukpa: Did you enjoy your stay in Nassau??
Carolus: Yes I did. It was an amazing place.
Gukpa: That's nice. Sir Lorenz, I am using my authority as Chief of the Army to Burn Hesse to te Ground.
Lorenz: Very well. Don't destroy too much of it. we still need its resources. We need them for our Future endeavors.
Gukpa: oh no sir. I'm just burning down Nassau. We have the best military school in Germany placed in Franken. We dont need on in Nassau as well.
Carolus: Dont forget to cal Bavaria. You know you cant win this war without them!!
Gukpa: Watch Me.
Ya see that boy. That Is how you Take down an Army. And I didnt even go to school to learn how. This is my job.
Maximiliam: That was a wonderful war. Wonderful indeed. You sure showed our enemies.
Gukpa: Why thank you. I even did it without the help of Bavaria.
Carolus:...... I could have done that.
Gukpa: BUT YOU DIDNT DID YOU!!
Carolus: ........
Maxi: So, either of you men good with Diplomacy??
Both men Shrugged.
Maxi: Well we are in a situation. We just received war from the Poop (Yeah You Read That Correctly) calling a Crusade to Morocco. Apparently, Infidels have made it to rome and conquered it AND the surrounding areas. The Emperor has made a Decree to reclaim those provinces.
Gukpa: In..... Italy?
Carolus: There is no way you expect us to march our armies thousands of miles for a war we have no part in!!
Maxi: Yes
Carolus: Your an Idiot.
Maxi: well what do you want me to do huh??
Gukpa: you cant just WALK through someone elses nation like that without a written consent form from the Emperor himself.
Carolus: that would cause a war. We need to find another way to do this.
Maxi: Well, what do you have in mind.
Marius: Hire an Ambassador.
A Short Time Later....
Maxi: Hello, welcome. We hired you because we are realling hurting for a Diplomat and your the best one in 100 miles. Whats Your name?
Voice: My name Is Gudmund Niklas Örjan Rudolf Fredrik. But my Friends call me Gnorf for short.
Gukpa: Thats one hell of a name!!
Gnorf: My Mother couldnt decide on a name, so she just gave me all of them.
Carolus: What a nice Lady.
Maxi: Not that your Here, we need to get passage to Italy.
Gnorf: That will take some time. In the Mean, why dont you go to war with Thuringia, they are beaten and battered after a wr with Bohemia and wish to ally with us. It would be easier to protect them if they were a part of our nation.
Carolus: I like the way you think!! This Time IM commanding the Army.
Gukpa: Be my guest. Lets see what you got Rookie!!
Carolus: You see THAT. Took me 6 months to beat Thuringia. Let me see you do that?
Gukpa: Cough(BAVARIA HELPED)
Carolus: What?
Gukpa: Nothing, Carry on.
End of Chapter VIII
Chapter IX: The Useless War, Start Of The "Three Kings" Era
Maxi: How fairs our passage to Italy?
Gnorf: I've almost gotten all but Austria and Milan. They are currently at war with each other. If you ask one the other gets upset.
Maxi: I have faith in you. Get it done.
Gukpa: well I guess there isnt anything to do but wait till the war ends.
Carolus: I've been so busy with integrating our new provinces and governments into one system that I havent had much sleep.
Marius: Lack of sleep causes an increased sex drive, substance abuse and anger....
Carolus: .....Thanks, I really wanted you to share that with me.
Gukpa: Haha poor boy.
Carolus: Well at least I have a sex drive. At least mine is alive and has the ability to stand at attention. Do you even have one anymore?
Gukpa: How about I take it out and slap you with it.
Carolus: YOU WOULDN'T DARE!!
Gnorf: Do they fight like this a lot??
Maxi: All the Time.
Gnorf: My lord.... They're like a Husband and Wife.
Gukpa & Carolus: What did you just say??
Gnorf: Nothing, carry-on.
Maxi: Speaking of which, what are you working on at the moment.
Gnorf: I've been reviewing our surrounding nations and their state of affairs. It seems to me that Anhalt has been looking for allies. Brandenburg has been looking after them for Conquest reasons. Both Bohemia and Austria Refuse to help them. If I do say so myself, Brandenburg seems to be our closest rival. We wouldnt want them to get the jump on us now would we?
Carolus: But what of the Emperors orders sir. He granted any reclaimed HRE provinces as instant cores. Italian provinces are some of the richest in all of Europe. On top of reclaiming Rome for the Papacy. We already have a strained relationship, we wouldnt want to make it worse.
Gukpa: Sir, why not do both? We have 10,000 men strong. Split the forces, send some to Italy and the rest to Anhalt.
Maxi: I like the way you think. Anhalt is one of our border nations and a pivotal part of our expansion. As well as we dont want to further upset the Emperor.
Carolus: Sir, Both me and Gukpa can control an Army. which do we send to Italy. I would Gladly go.
Maxi: Sorry Carolus, but Gukpa is a more seasoned general. Plus, you would be fighting in unknown territory. Gukpa will lead the Italian attack as You will lead the Attack on Anhalt.
Gukpa: Thank you sir.
Maxi: We currently have 10,000 troops. Gukpa, 5,000 more will be trained. You will take all 15,000. Then Once you have left, we will make another army for you Carolus.
Carolus: Thank You Sir.
Maxi: Make our Nation Proud men!!
Gnorf: By the way, what do we do about Castille...
Maxi: Oh right!! we are still at war with them. Leave them be for now.
Gnorf: Ok. Listen Gukpa. We are not the only nation at war with Morocco at the moment. Be quick about taking over the siege of these provinces!!
Gukpa: Understood
Carolus: Sir we have run into a problem. Our manpower reserves have run completely dry.
Maxi: Damn. How much longer on the war with Morocco?
Gnorf: Gukpa says that taking the land is easy. The problem is the non-stop rebels.
Maxi: Tell him to do the best he can.
Carolus: What about Anhalt Sir?
Maxi: DAMN ANHALT!! We need to get Italy NOW!! Take your Troops to Italy and back him up.
Carolus: But Sir.
Maxi: I said NOW!!
Carolus: With Pleasure, Sir.
Gukpa: What are you doing Here?
Carolus: Our Syndic insisted that I come to back you up. He wants to take the Italian lands more then we thought.
Gukpa: What an Idiot.
Carolus: Im going to kill him when I get back.
Gukpa: That would be nice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carolus: Gukpa, look at this.
Gukpa: Anhalt was taken by Brandenburg. THAT IDIOT!!
Carolus: What now? do we continue the war?
Gukpa: I dont know if we can. Our manpowers shot and Morocco refuses to concede. This war is useless.
Carolus: Gukpa, we just received word of a large scale rebellion in Roma.
Gukpa: How large?
Carolus: If this papers not mistaken, 16,000 men strong.
Gukpa: Your Kidding me!! There is no winning here. Send word to Morocco for a White Piece. I will not have another man Die for this war. To hell with Bohemia and to hell with the Pope.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ludwig: Ah, how pleasant you all are!! We will get along just fine.
Gukpa: Yea, hopefully we dont kill you like the last one, THAT WAS JUST BRUTAL!!
Ludwig:.... huh.....
Gnorf: uh, don't mind him.
Carolus: Dont piss him off either.
Gnorf: Everything will be just fine
Ludwig: I do hope so....
Maxi: How fairs our passage to Italy?
Gnorf: I've almost gotten all but Austria and Milan. They are currently at war with each other. If you ask one the other gets upset.
Maxi: I have faith in you. Get it done.
Gukpa: well I guess there isnt anything to do but wait till the war ends.
Carolus: I've been so busy with integrating our new provinces and governments into one system that I havent had much sleep.
Marius: Lack of sleep causes an increased sex drive, substance abuse and anger....
Carolus: .....Thanks, I really wanted you to share that with me.
Gukpa: Haha poor boy.
Carolus: Well at least I have a sex drive. At least mine is alive and has the ability to stand at attention. Do you even have one anymore?
Gukpa: How about I take it out and slap you with it.
Carolus: YOU WOULDN'T DARE!!
Gnorf: Do they fight like this a lot??
Maxi: All the Time.
Gnorf: My lord.... They're like a Husband and Wife.
Gukpa & Carolus: What did you just say??
Gnorf: Nothing, carry-on.
Maxi: Speaking of which, what are you working on at the moment.
Gnorf: I've been reviewing our surrounding nations and their state of affairs. It seems to me that Anhalt has been looking for allies. Brandenburg has been looking after them for Conquest reasons. Both Bohemia and Austria Refuse to help them. If I do say so myself, Brandenburg seems to be our closest rival. We wouldnt want them to get the jump on us now would we?
Carolus: But what of the Emperors orders sir. He granted any reclaimed HRE provinces as instant cores. Italian provinces are some of the richest in all of Europe. On top of reclaiming Rome for the Papacy. We already have a strained relationship, we wouldnt want to make it worse.
Gukpa: Sir, why not do both? We have 10,000 men strong. Split the forces, send some to Italy and the rest to Anhalt.
Maxi: I like the way you think. Anhalt is one of our border nations and a pivotal part of our expansion. As well as we dont want to further upset the Emperor.
Carolus: Sir, Both me and Gukpa can control an Army. which do we send to Italy. I would Gladly go.
Maxi: Sorry Carolus, but Gukpa is a more seasoned general. Plus, you would be fighting in unknown territory. Gukpa will lead the Italian attack as You will lead the Attack on Anhalt.
Gukpa: Thank you sir.
Maxi: We currently have 10,000 troops. Gukpa, 5,000 more will be trained. You will take all 15,000. Then Once you have left, we will make another army for you Carolus.
Carolus: Thank You Sir.
Maxi: Make our Nation Proud men!!
Gnorf: By the way, what do we do about Castille...
Maxi: Oh right!! we are still at war with them. Leave them be for now.
Gnorf: Ok. Listen Gukpa. We are not the only nation at war with Morocco at the moment. Be quick about taking over the siege of these provinces!!
Gukpa: Understood
Carolus: Sir we have run into a problem. Our manpower reserves have run completely dry.
Maxi: Damn. How much longer on the war with Morocco?
Gnorf: Gukpa says that taking the land is easy. The problem is the non-stop rebels.
Maxi: Tell him to do the best he can.
Carolus: What about Anhalt Sir?
Maxi: DAMN ANHALT!! We need to get Italy NOW!! Take your Troops to Italy and back him up.
Carolus: But Sir.
Maxi: I said NOW!!
Carolus: With Pleasure, Sir.
Gukpa: What are you doing Here?
Carolus: Our Syndic insisted that I come to back you up. He wants to take the Italian lands more then we thought.
Gukpa: What an Idiot.
Carolus: Im going to kill him when I get back.
Gukpa: That would be nice.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Carolus: Gukpa, look at this.
Gukpa: Anhalt was taken by Brandenburg. THAT IDIOT!!
Carolus: What now? do we continue the war?
Gukpa: I dont know if we can. Our manpowers shot and Morocco refuses to concede. This war is useless.
Carolus: Gukpa, we just received word of a large scale rebellion in Roma.
Gukpa: How large?
Carolus: If this papers not mistaken, 16,000 men strong.
Gukpa: Your Kidding me!! There is no winning here. Send word to Morocco for a White Piece. I will not have another man Die for this war. To hell with Bohemia and to hell with the Pope.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ludwig: Ah, how pleasant you all are!! We will get along just fine.
Gukpa: Yea, hopefully we dont kill you like the last one, THAT WAS JUST BRUTAL!!
Ludwig:.... huh.....
Gnorf: uh, don't mind him.
Carolus: Dont piss him off either.
Gnorf: Everything will be just fine
Ludwig: I do hope so....
End of Chapter IX
EEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCC!
So I occupy Rome?
This was AWESOME!
So I occupy Rome?
This was AWESOME!
Bohemia is Snaking, Austria is Blobbing, Switzerland has yet to lose a war, Denmark has lost control of Sweden, Castille is getting rolfstomped, England is getting murked, Burgundy has taken the upper hand on France and Serbia is beginning to blob. THIS IS AWESOME!!!
EEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCC!
So I occupy Rome?
Very Epic indeed. If only that 16,000 strong rebel army didnt show up, you would have conquered Central Italy. So close, so close.
Ok my oh so favorite readers. WHO WISHES TO BE ADDED TO THE FRANKFURT GOVERNMENT?? any takers?? PM if you do!! If I get an answer soon, I'll be able to put out an update by Friday.
Oh,in the next election I will vote for Ludwing,I wanna to see he as president until he die by old age
holy cow my name(s) is awesome
Please watch the language; it's a family friendly forum. -- Avindian
Please watch the language; it's a family friendly forum. -- Avindian
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Oh,in the next election I will vote for Ludwing,I wanna to see he as president until he die by old age
Cant do that, each Syndic can only serve 8 years no matter what.
Glad you like it!!
Go indeed.
I started as an OPM and am bordered by Austria, Bavaria and Bohemia. You want to make it harder on me?? your mean......
Chapter X: We Hope To See You Soon!!
Gnorf: Sir, There is something I would like you to look at.
Ludwig: What is it Gnorf?
Gnorf: It seems that Meissen is under heavy duress from Bohemia. They have been looking for allies to help them. Should we answer?
Carolus: We shouldnt help them for free. We should give them the Ultimatum of either being annexed by Bohemia, or being protected under us.
Gnorf: I have already sent them an offer to become our vassal, They refused.
Gukpa: Then we shall force them.
Ludwig: You cannot force a nation to follow you. That would only cause unrest.
Gukpa: They dont have the means to say no.
Carolus: He is right. If they have a problem with the lesser of two evils, then they are just out of luck.
Gnorf: Sir, Because of our previous leaders inability to run the country correctly due to his religious tendencies, we lost our chance of vassalizing Anhalt.
Ludwig: Ok, so what is the problem.
Gnorf: Well, our people still see Anhalt as one of us Rhinelanders, not Saxon. They have sent a secret letter asking for us to take control of them from Brandenburg.
Ludwig: That seems fair. We should hurry before its too late.
Gukpa: We wouldnt of had this problem if we would have taken care of Anhalt in the First place.
Carolus: But you would have to blame The Emperor for that. He the one who decreed that we take Italy back no matter what. I say he owes us as well. I think a province from them would be sufficient pay for our troubles.
Ludwig: Yes but which province?
Gnorf: I here that Oberlausitz is nice this time of year and has a wonderful amount of people that would love to join us!!
Ludwig: So that leaves us with one question. Who is first?
Gukpa: So the conquest of Anhalt, the conquest of Oberlausitz or the vassalization of Meissen.
Carolus: Your forgetting that we still have a claim on Mainz. We should take them first.
Gukpa: I completely forgot about Mainz. Permission to Go to war, Sir?
Ludwig: Granted.
Gnorf: Ok, We just declared war on Mainz and Switzerland, Baden and Cologne have joined them.
Gukpa: So, Who should be commander of this war? I think You should Carolus.
Carolus: No, You get the 15,000 man Army and I shall take the 9,000 Army.
Ludwig: Our manpower hasnt even replenished yet. Are you sure you want to do this?
Gukpa: Too late now!! Carolus, If you'll do the Honours.
Ludwig: Ah, Carolus. You have returned from battle? Where is Sir Gukpa?
Carolus: He is still Fighting with Switzerland. He says that he can handle it on his own to try and replenish our manpower. Also Sir, we just received word that Oberpfalz has seen us as its supreme ruler and not Bavaria.
Ludwig: It would seem. Thank you for you help with the war. Now, Do you think we have enough Manpower to vassalize Meissen?
Carolus: Of course we do Sir. Would you like me to begin?
Ludwig: Yes. We shall not let this opportunity slip by like we did with Anhalt.
Gnorf: Meissen shall be notified.
Gnorf: Sir, Switzerland surrenders. Here is what they sent us.
Ludwig: Welcome back Sir Gukpa.
Gukpa: That was revitalizing. I love to do it again soon.
Ludwig: Well, Carolus has already been sent to deal with the Meissen Issue so there is nothing left for you to do at the moment.
Gukpa: You did what? You have that little prick my job? Are you stupid? I should eat your hands!!
Ludwig: Please dont, Im sorry. It will never happen again. I promise!!
Gukpa: You right it wont, Because if it happens again, I'm gonna be getting myself another Skinsuit.
Ludwig: Skinsuit??
Gnorf: Its where he takes someone elses skin to use as his own.
Ludwig: Thats horrible!! You should really get that checked out!! By the way, who's skin are you wearing right now?
Gukpa: Marius the Philosopher.
Gnorf: Is that where he went? I was wondering.
Gukpa: And your next Ludwig. Keep it up.... whats that smell?
Ludwig: I just went on myself thats what.
Carolus: Hey guys, I just got back. What did I miss?
Gnorf: Same old same old.
Carolus: Again? Gukpa, STOP THREATENING ALL OUR LEADERS!!
Gnorf: Your too late he already quit. He walked out 10 minute ago.
Gukpa: No he didnt, He better get back here with my new skin!!
Gnorf: Sir, There is something I would like you to look at.
Ludwig: What is it Gnorf?
Gnorf: It seems that Meissen is under heavy duress from Bohemia. They have been looking for allies to help them. Should we answer?
Carolus: We shouldnt help them for free. We should give them the Ultimatum of either being annexed by Bohemia, or being protected under us.
Gnorf: I have already sent them an offer to become our vassal, They refused.
Gukpa: Then we shall force them.
Ludwig: You cannot force a nation to follow you. That would only cause unrest.
Gukpa: They dont have the means to say no.
Carolus: He is right. If they have a problem with the lesser of two evils, then they are just out of luck.
Gnorf: Sir, Because of our previous leaders inability to run the country correctly due to his religious tendencies, we lost our chance of vassalizing Anhalt.
Ludwig: Ok, so what is the problem.
Gnorf: Well, our people still see Anhalt as one of us Rhinelanders, not Saxon. They have sent a secret letter asking for us to take control of them from Brandenburg.
Ludwig: That seems fair. We should hurry before its too late.
Gukpa: We wouldnt of had this problem if we would have taken care of Anhalt in the First place.
Carolus: But you would have to blame The Emperor for that. He the one who decreed that we take Italy back no matter what. I say he owes us as well. I think a province from them would be sufficient pay for our troubles.
Ludwig: Yes but which province?
Gnorf: I here that Oberlausitz is nice this time of year and has a wonderful amount of people that would love to join us!!
Ludwig: So that leaves us with one question. Who is first?
Gukpa: So the conquest of Anhalt, the conquest of Oberlausitz or the vassalization of Meissen.
Carolus: Your forgetting that we still have a claim on Mainz. We should take them first.
Gukpa: I completely forgot about Mainz. Permission to Go to war, Sir?
Ludwig: Granted.
------------------------------------------------------------
Gnorf: Ok, We just declared war on Mainz and Switzerland, Baden and Cologne have joined them.
Gukpa: So, Who should be commander of this war? I think You should Carolus.
Carolus: No, You get the 15,000 man Army and I shall take the 9,000 Army.
Ludwig: Our manpower hasnt even replenished yet. Are you sure you want to do this?
Gukpa: Too late now!! Carolus, If you'll do the Honours.
Carolus: With Pleasure. Men, WE MARCH TO WAR!!!
Ludwig: Ah, Carolus. You have returned from battle? Where is Sir Gukpa?
Carolus: He is still Fighting with Switzerland. He says that he can handle it on his own to try and replenish our manpower. Also Sir, we just received word that Oberpfalz has seen us as its supreme ruler and not Bavaria.
Ludwig: It would seem. Thank you for you help with the war. Now, Do you think we have enough Manpower to vassalize Meissen?
Carolus: Of course we do Sir. Would you like me to begin?
Ludwig: Yes. We shall not let this opportunity slip by like we did with Anhalt.
Gnorf: Meissen shall be notified.
Gnorf: Sir, Switzerland surrenders. Here is what they sent us.
Ludwig: Welcome back Sir Gukpa.
Gukpa: That was revitalizing. I love to do it again soon.
Ludwig: Well, Carolus has already been sent to deal with the Meissen Issue so there is nothing left for you to do at the moment.
Gukpa: You did what? You have that little prick my job? Are you stupid? I should eat your hands!!
Ludwig: Please dont, Im sorry. It will never happen again. I promise!!
Gukpa: You right it wont, Because if it happens again, I'm gonna be getting myself another Skinsuit.
Ludwig: Skinsuit??
Gnorf: Its where he takes someone elses skin to use as his own.
Ludwig: Thats horrible!! You should really get that checked out!! By the way, who's skin are you wearing right now?
Gukpa: Marius the Philosopher.
Gnorf: Is that where he went? I was wondering.
Gukpa: And your next Ludwig. Keep it up.... whats that smell?
Ludwig: I just went on myself thats what.
Carolus: Hey guys, I just got back. What did I miss?
Gnorf: Same old same old.
Carolus: Again? Gukpa, STOP THREATENING ALL OUR LEADERS!!
Gnorf: Your too late he already quit. He walked out 10 minute ago.
Gukpa: No he didnt, He better get back here with my new skin!!
End of Chapter X
Amazing. Andreas Barth is the first ruler who doesn't have the kind of godly stats that I pray to get in a regular game, and he still has enough diplomacy to get the supremely overpowered "Claims on our Rivals!". Perhaps the lesson to be learnt is that in order to get a high DIP ruler, you should deliberately avoid selecting the Diplomatic candidate during elections.
This is unbelievable. I wonder if your house rules allow you to kick him out after one four-year term, or turn him into a general and try to get him killed, because he clearly fails to live up to the incredibly high standards of previous Syndics of Frankfurt that were all either supergeniuses who were simultaneously spineless, gutless weaklings, or were extremely delicious and eaten by Stephan Gukpa.
This is unbelievable. I wonder if your house rules allow you to kick him out after one four-year term, or turn him into a general and try to get him killed, because he clearly fails to live up to the incredibly high standards of previous Syndics of Frankfurt that were all either supergeniuses who were simultaneously spineless, gutless weaklings, or were extremely delicious and eaten by Stephan Gukpa.