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War ravages Europe, I see. Let's hope Naples can come out of everything stronger than ever!
Yes indeed. Austria is a real monster in this game, especially with lucky nations on. There's a reason why their eastern border usually ends on the Caspian Sea. And I thought Aragon was bad....
Yeah, I'm actually surprised how quickly the balance of power changes in this game. Austria looks like my main opponent in uniting Italy right now, though I can't be certain right now. Leave it to Naples to bravely strike its opponents at their weakest!
Sorry guys for the lack of updates. I've had a pretty bad couple of days. I've started working on the next part, hard to say when it'll be up.
Episode 25- On Board
In which Sicily proves to be a prime vacation spot for English soldiers. Multiple times.
In which Sicily proves to be a prime vacation spot for English soldiers. Multiple times.
Naples, 13 June 1481
While Neapolitan army was gearing up for another war, this time the one they have started, the royal Council was meeting to discuss the country’s strategy. The royal couple, Crown Prince Carlo, master of the royal mint Fabio Pierallini, Leopoldo Pontelli and Captain Alonso were sitting around the table, discussing recent developments.
One of them was the end of one war Naples was involved in- the peace between Lithuania and Austria marked the end of that unsuccessful conflict.
The middle of the table was occupied with a map displaying the countries involved it the recent war.
“As you can see.” King Alberto started. “Our only big concern in this war is England. They are a shadow of their former self after their series of defeats against Scotland, but they are still quite on par on us.”
“England is isolated, but their navy is still quite formidable, even after their defeats. We must be wary of amphibian assaults.” Olivia noticed.
“Indeed. Captain, what’s the standing of our fleet?”
“Sir, we have 21 ships on our disposal, including 8 big warships. If we include the Portuguese fleet and the fleets of our vassals we should be pretty safe.”
“Excellent.” He took another look at the map. “Now, we need to plan the movements of our ground forces. Any suggestions?”
Carlo raised his hand.
“Yes, son?”
“I have a proposition. Let’s use one of our armies to secure the province of Modena. Our other army will deal with any opposing forces, mostly Pisans. Then, we will use the second army to siege Pisan cities.”
“Hmm. Looks interesting. Anyone has any objections?”
“What about Croatia?” The Queen asked.
“Croatia?.... Oh, yes, they are also in war against us. I did not think about them.”
“Maybe we could let our vassals deal with them?”
Alberto scratched his chin. “Good suggestion, Captain. I think we have a plan then.”
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement. Don Fabio was the last one to voice his opinion.
“Sir, may I ask, what about Austria? Will they allow such an action on our part?”
The King thought for a while. “They have a truce with us, so they should not be a threat.”
“There is one more thing.” Olivia added.
“What is that, my dear?”
“Ah, I expected you would not pay attention to such a message. The Austrian Emperor is dead.”
“Good riddance, I say! He was nothing but a disgrace to the Empire.” Leopoldo exclaimed.
“Maybe so, Leopoldo, but he was still a legitimately chosen Emperor.”
“So, who’s the new Emperor now? Another Habsburg?”
“No. This time it’s a Bavarian.”
“That’s good news. Maybe we’ll get an Emperor who is interested in more than just his own agenda.” The captain said.
“Maybe. Meanwhile, you are dismissed. Sleep well, as tomorrow we’ll go to war. Captain, you’re tasked with overseeing the troops. Carlo, you will oversee our operations in Modena. Try not to cause a riot while you’re there.”
“Yes, father.”
Everyone headed out of the room, leaving Alberto and Olivia alone.
“You know, you were unusually enthusiastic while giving orders.” She said, turning towards him.
“Really? I guess I can still find some enjoyment in life, I suppose.”
“Last couple of years weren’t the best for us, were they?”
“Indeed, they weren’t. Fortunately, there are still some things that make me happy.” He smiled while looking at her.
“Oh, please. That was a cheap one even for you.”
“It did made you smile, though.”
“That’s true. I guess I need so reassurance from time to time.”
“You know you can count on me.” He started running his hand through her hair. They shared a small kiss.
“Mmmm. You know, Alberto?”
“Hmmm?”
“I’ve been thinking…. It’s been a while, you know…”
“I’m listening…”
“….since we’ve had a good game of chess!”
Alberto was brought down to earth.
“Oh. I mean, of course! I’m totally on board with that.”
All of a sudden, Olivia almost fell off her chair laughing.
“Wh- what’s the matter?”
“*gasp* You said ‘on board!’ As in, a chess board? Get it? That’s so funny.”
“What? Come on, it was neither intentional nor clever.”
“I know! That’s what makes it so good!”
“I… *sigh* nevermind…..”
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Naples, 18 February 1482
The unexpected decision of the Imperial electors caused a lot of discussion across Europe. Will the first non- Hapsburg emperor in years prove to be better fitted to protect its subjects? One thing was certain- the Austrians weren’t going to sit idly. They were eager to recuperate their loss of the Imperial throne and the occasion presented itself when the King of Burgundy got himself excommunicated.
“Nasty business with the Austrians, eh, don Pontelli? The Habsburgs must be pretty angry that the electors ousted them out of the throne.”
The day proved to be an uneventful one, so Leopoldo Pontelli decided to do some paperwork while waiting for the council meeting.
“Yeah. For what I care, they could go to Burgundy, Holland, damned Iceland, whatever, just far away from us….” He looked from his papers at the guest.
“…who are you again? …. Ah, I remember. You’re the new Chancellor King Alberto hired, right?”
“That’s right, don Leopoldo. My name is Alfonso d’ Asburgo.”
“Unfortunately, with the recent military operations going on, Prince Carlo was unable to continue his duties as the Chancellor.”
“Maybe if he didn’t pay us much attention to his, eghm, ‘friends’… Anyway, don Alfonso, I hope we’ll work well together.”
“So do I, don Leopoldo.” He noticed a bandage on his finger. “What happened? Did you cut yourself?”
“Huh? Ah, no. You see, I have a pet hamster. The damn rodent bit me when I was cleaning his cage.”
“A hamster? I can’t believe I’ve seen you with a pet.”
“That’s because I don’t walk around with a hamster. Do you think I’m nuts?”
“No, pardon me, don Leopoldo. Is the King okay with having a pet in the palace?”
“I haven’t brought up the subject yet, but there should be no problem. I’ve heard the former captain of the guard brought his hamster with his everywhere. From what I’ve heard, he was pretty out there.”
“Come to think of it, how did you get it? Hamsters are pretty rare pets in this part of the world.”
“Ah, I just found it when I was returning home, just before I got the job here. Actually, this might’ve been the same day the old Captain died. Weird…”
“Indeed, weird……”
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Not Naples, 27 June 1482
“My Prince, our forces have managed to defeat any significant enemy units and are now preparing to siege cities in the area!”
“Prince? Are you okay?”
“Oh, yes, Adriano, sorry. I’m just *yawn* very tired.”
Adriano looked at Carlo judgingly.
“You’ve been out to the city again, haven’t you?”
“ I was gathering intel!”
“I can imagine this ‘gathering intel’ involved a lot of sitting in taverns?”
“That’s not my fault! You can always hear the best rumors there! I always like when the bartenders get all fussy when you ask them about latest news.”
“*sigh* My Prince, I have grown increasingly doubtful that I’m ever going to talk you out of your risqué behaviors. My only concern is your health.”
“Don’t worry, Adriano! I can handle myself in case of a fight.”
“I know, my Prince. I was really talking about the heavy burden of bards and poets known as gonorrhea.”
Carlo looked at him and laughed. “Oh! Don’t you worry, my Captain, I have even this occurrence under consideration!”
“Really? I can’t wait to hear what it is.”
“I pray every day and trust in God to protect a pious and innocent man.”
*stare*
“Okay, just kidding. Actually, I protect myself with these.” The Prince showed him a small vial filled with silvery liquid.
“What is this?”
“Quicksilver, my friend. I’ve learned about this while I was at college. It keeps the body clean and healthy!”
“I don’t know. I’ve heard it’s bad for you.”
“Can’t be much worse than the water back in Naples.”
“True enough…”
Their conversation was interrupted by a messenger.
“Captain! Urgent message for you.”
“Give it to me….. oh, that might be troublesome.”
“What’s the matter, Adriano?”
“The English have launched an amphibious assault in Sicily!”
“What? How many of them are there?”
“Let me see…. About one thousand troops.”
Carlo scratched his head. “Only a thousand?! What are they hoping to accomplish?”
“I don’t know. A distraction, perhaps? Anyway, we’ll dispatch some spare regiments to deal with them.”
“All right. Keep up the good work, Captain!”
“Thank you, my Prince!”
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The war was progressing surprisingly well. Neapolitan troops had complete control over the Italian front. The only thing that could complicate the situation was a major landing of English troops. Even though they were trying, the English simply lacked the power to significantly affect the war. Their once mighty fleet was greatly reduced during the past conflicts and spread thin. The occasional naval battles were easily won by the Neapolitan fleet.
Sieges were also progressing very fast. July marked the fall of Firenze, the first city captured during the war.
While the war so far a success, King Alberto knew that he needed more than just military successes. Both he and his father liked to surround themselves with skilled individuals who possessed the skills they were lacking. The King was proven once again right in his judgment when the new Chancellor Alfonso d’ Asburgo proposed a few ways to improve the diplomatic standing of the kingdom. Though many kings would be outraged by their advisors criticizing their policies, Alberto had trust in his men.
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Naples, 5 November 1482
“Hey, Adriano! Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Oh, good afternoon, Prince Carlo. I did not expect you being up at this point of the day.”
Carlo pouted. “Hey! I’m not that lazy! Besides, I did not have much opportunity to sleep well in the past couple of months, don’t you agree?”
“I agree. At least we were able to return safely home. Actually, weren’t you supposed to be at the ceremony?”
Today was an important day for Naples. The city of Pisa has fallen to their hands, allowing peace negotiations to proceed.
“Ah, I excused myself. I only stuck around to hear the peace terms.”
“So, what did we agree for? I wasn’t able to be at the ceremony.”
“Ah, nothing big. We got them to cede Firenze and cancel some treaties.”
“We got Firenze? That wasn’t the plan of the war. Was it a wise move?”
“I wouldn’t worry myself so much about it. Naples still has a pretty good standing among other nations.”
“But what about the Emperor? Pisa was part of the Empire, after all.”
Carlo thought for a while. “We haven’t contacted the new Kaiser yet. I guess we’ll deal with his wrath later.” Carlo laughed. “I bet he can’t wait to punish us with diplomatic sanctions.”
“You know it’s not a laughing matter. Haven’t you heard about what’s happening in Poland?”
“Oh, yeah. They’ve got themselves into two wars. Not the best turn of events for them.” A moment has passed before Carlo pressed another issue. “Hey. Weren’t you in a hurry just a moment ago?”
“Ah, yes. I have some important information to share with the Captain of the Guard.”
“That would be you, Adriano.”
He thought for a while before slamming his forehead with his hand. “Of course! I’m so stupid….”
“Don’t worry. You’re overworking yourself. Better tell me what it is.”
“Ah, yes. The English have landed in Sicily yet again.”
“What?! They’re persistent, I’ll give them that. We’ll send our troops to deal with them.”
“Aye, my prince.”
“Hey, Captain, you’re doing something this evening?”
“Come to think of it, no. Why do you ask?”
“Wanna go drinking? I want so check whether the Deceased Crab still serves that crap beer.”
“Okay, but on one condition: ban on women.”
“*sigh* You drive harder diplomacy than the Kaiser himself…”
----------------------------------------------------------------
The fall of Pisa marked the beginning of the end of the war. Modena decided to cave in just before the end of the year. The peace was signed on Christmas Eve, bringing another vassal under Neapolitan wings.
The festive time of the year stimulated many inspired thoughts in the usually not so bright minds of the nobility. Many of them agreed that Neapolitan influence should be expanded on more minor Italian nations. Ferrara especially seemed like a ripe target.
On third of January, most of the folks of Naples were sober enough after the New Year festive to start negotiating for the peace with their final opponent, England. The English, constantly pressured by the Portuguese were proving unable to defend their continental territories. The final straw, though, proved to be the invasion of Ireland by joint forces of Portugal and Naples. The English, fearing the enemy attacking so close to home, were quick to bail out.
King Carlo opted for a rather modest peace terms. In addition to a hefty sum of gold, a nation of Munster was brought back, in their natural place, for a change.
The war was over and Naples was as victorious as almost ever. Though many have feared that further expansion could be difficult. Major powers of the region were starting to notice the upstart Italians and could take measures to halt their progress.
It was obvious that Naples needs to find new lands to expand. The answer to that laid across the sea…..
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Sorry that this one is so late, guys. On top of all the other ‘wonderful’ things, I got sick.
I’ll try to get the next part up earlier.
It's wonderful, man; don't worry about it. Keep your own pace, for we are not worthy!
On a more serious note, really, great update. The only question I have is: why did you take Firenze instead of vassalizing all of Pisa? Surely the tribute cash you would get (which would thus boost your tech) coupled with no worrying about Illegal Imperial Province would have been the way to go?
On a more serious note, really, great update. The only question I have is: why did you take Firenze instead of vassalizing all of Pisa? Surely the tribute cash you would get (which would thus boost your tech) coupled with no worrying about Illegal Imperial Province would have been the way to go?
Thanks as always for your support! I really appreciate this.
As for Pisa, they have some holdings in North Africa. I think they were too big for vassalize. I don't remember for certain, though. Maybe I'm just bad at this game
An update is currently in the works. Will be out when ready™
Episode 26- The Not- Yet New World
Also, I get to show my mad image editing skills.
Also, I get to show my mad image editing skills.
Naples, 2 August 1483
It was already evening and king Alberto de Valois was just finishing his work. All the paperwork concerning the annexation of Firenze and peace with England made him busy for a little while but it was already finished. One last piece of mail he had to look at was the one concerning the excommunication of Aragon. Alberto read it with great satisfaction.
Just as he was finished, he heard a sudden knock on the door.
“Yes? Who is it?”
Chancellor Alfonso entered the room.
“Good evening, my liege. How was the work today?”
“Oh, could be worse, I suppose. How about you?”
“I’ve just received an important message from the King of Denmark, my liege.”
“Really? What is it?”
“They have just declared war upon Gotland and are asking for our assistance.”
Alberto scratched his head. “Can’t they deal with them themselves?”
“Apparently not, my King.”
“*sigh* All right. We’ll support them, but we won’t be sending any troops.
”
“As you wish, sire.” Alfonso was getting ready to leave. “Oh, and one more thing. The sheriff of Corfu sends his regards and reports that the province now completely accepts our rule.”
“Excellent!.... wait, refresh m mind. Where is Corfu again?”
“It’s a little island off the coast of Greece. Your father conquered it from the Venetians.”
“Ah, I remember now. Man that’s embarrassing, not knowing your own territories…”
“I believe most of us would make the same mistake, your Majesty. Though it might be best to avoid such gaffes at official meetings.”
“Don’t worry, don Alfonso. I have Olivia for these kind of things. She has better memory than I have.”
“That’s wonderful, my Liege. I’ll leave now. I have to blackmail some nobles so that they stay loyal to us.”
“Very well, Chancellor. See you tomorrow!”
------------------------------------------------------------------
The war against Gotland was pretty uneventful and the Danes were able to annex the island by March of 1484. Naples remained uninvolved and got out of the conflict in January. Most of the people in the kingdom barely realized that the war even happened. Some of them, being completely drunk all the time, were completely unaware of it.
Meanwhile, Alberto’s progressive reforms continued to bear fruit. Thanks to some ‘creative accounting’ it was possible to lower inflation to almost non- existent levels.
Surprising news came from Poland. When we left them the last time, they were under attack by joined forces of Hungary and the Teutonic Order. Turns out, they were able not only to defeat their opponents, but also gain territories on the Baltic coast.
More disturbing news came from the West. The Kingdom of Burgundy was once again in trouble thanks to their excommunication. This time they were at war with France and its allies.
In such uncertain times, people were getting worried for their lives and fortunes. Many of them were eager to leave the war- struck continent to look for a brighter future. Many so- called ‘explorers’ were promising great riches to those willing to embark with them on their journeys. Thus far, they were mostly ignored. This situation was about to change…
-----------------------------------------------------
Naples, 9 January 1485
“That is interesting, though me might need a little more information on the subject, mister….”
Alberto, Olivia and Leopoldo were sitting in the council chamber, holding a secret meeting. A small man wearing a pointy hat who was sitting in front of them spoke.
“My name is Alessandro d’Apriani d’Aragona, your Majesty.”
“That’s quite a mouthful.”
“So, don Alessandro, you said you wanted to sail west, but you did not explain why. I thought there’s nothing but ocean there.” The Queen asked.
“Well, my Queen, the reason is simple. Most people think the world is flat as a Neapolitan pizza, but in truth it is more similar to a ravioli. By sailing west, we’ll eventually end up east!”
“So you seek another route to China and India?”
“Precisely, sir. Unfortunately, my efforts to procure a ship and a crew were so far unsuccessful. That’s why I’m asking Your Majesty for a sponsorship.”
Alberto turned to Leopoldo.
“So, that was your idea, so explain this to me.”
“My King, this is a great opportunity to expand our influence without resorting to war with potentially stronger opponents. Securing a sea route to India would bring us tremendous riches.”
“Still, it seems pretty risky…”
“In addition to that, we might able to establish our dominions in the new land. Some nobles might even leave the city to seek fortune there….”
The King leaned forward. “Go on…”
“I knew how to pick your interest, your Majesty.” He smiled, then lowered his voice. “Besides, by giving this man a crew, we can clean our city of some of the worst scum. It’s no use wasting any good men on this adventure.”
“Still, that is going to be expensive and we’ll need to establish some sort of administration. I don’t think we have the resources required just yet.”
“We might cancel our mercantile establishment.” Olivia proposed.
“Yes, we don’t have much use of it anyway. Though, the merchants won’t be too happy about that…”
“Don’t worry about it, my liege.” Leopoldo said. “I have talked to some people. We will be able to shift the attention of the merchant guilds from trading to exploring, with minimal effort.”
“All right.” Alberto said. “It’s settled then. We’ll discuss the details with the rest of the council. Thank you, don Alessandro. We’ll inform you of our decision.”
Alessandro bowed. “Thank you, your majesty. You won’t regret that!”
It was settled then, pardon the pun, that Naples should take part in the Quest for India. Lepoldo Pontelli was appointed the chairman of the newly established Neapolitan Indian Company.
Alessandro d’Appiani d’Aragona was given a ship and a crew and was ready to embark on an epic journey, to write a new chapter in the history of the world.
But before that, let’s return to Naples for a while, a the events there were going to take a sinister turn….
-----------------------------------------------------
Naples, 2 May 1485
Fabio Pierallini was returning to his room after yet another tiring day at work. Having an entire Neapolitan economy depending on yourself was a big responsibility and Fabio always gave it his best. This day was no different, so we couldn’t wait to finally go to sleep.
However, he was alarmed by a noise coming out from the living room.
Fabio entered the room. It was dark, so he lit up the candle. There was nobody there. Resigned, he decided to leave when he saw something strange with the corner of his eye.
A pile of papers tucked under the sofa.
Fabio picked them up. Obviously, someone was trying to hide them, but why? Was it some kind of secret lover correspondence? No, it couldn’t be. Alberto and Olivia were out of suspicion, Carlo wouldn’t even try to hide such a thing and Ricardo/ Filippo was too thick to think about that.
He proceeded to read them and almost fell backwards in the process. He couldn’t believe what he just read.
There was a conspiracy going on. The Royal Family and the kingdom were in grave danger unless something is done. He had to inform Alberto as fast as he could….
He was about to leave the room when suddenly the room went completely black. Fabio could barely see anything- except for a pair of small, red eyes….
“Who’s there? Show yourself!”
The eyes were creeping closer and closer to him.
“Ah, curses! Where did I put that lighter…” He lit the candle once again. “Now, where are y….. AAAAAHHHHH!”
Fabio felt a sharp tackle and soon enough a pair of small, sharp teeth took great interest in his jugular veins…..
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The sudden and unfortunate death of Fabio Pierallini caused a lot of stir in the city of Naples. Many resources were engaged in finding the cause of his death, including the best and greatest detectives of the city guard. After weeks of hard work, investigation, collecting evidence and consuming bakery products they were finally able to solve the mystery.
Their answer was: death by blood loss.
While the shortcomings of the city guard caused some issue amongst the citizens of Naples, some people were too far away to know about them. The expedition of Captain Alessandro was leaving the Mediterranean Sea to embark on their epic journey. After weeks of sailing along the African coast, they found out the landmass not appearing on any map they owned…
“Land, my Captain!”
The crewmen were visibly excited.
“India! That’s India!”
“This can’t be India, ya moron! We didn’t even leave the African coast!”
“Then it’s an island we don’t know about!”
“I wonder if we’ll see a tiger hunt. I can’t wait to bring the tiger skin to my parents!”
“*sigh* Captain, what are your orders?”
The Captain left his cabin.
“Let’s lower the row boats, we need to explore this new land!”
The new land in question turned out to be the Canary Islands, long forgotten and barely known even by Moroccan sailors.
Captain Alessandro did not know that these puny islands held great potential, maybe even a destiny to conquer the whole world. To most people, though, it was just a piece of no man’s land.
The captain managed to contact some natives and to his delight discovered that they were surprisingly able in sailor work, much more than the crew he embarked with. More so, they requires very little alcohol to function and knew much less obscene songs. After a bit of persuasion, he managed to convince them to join the crew. The old crew was left as a preparation for future colonization. Their swears were heard as far as Gibraltar.
Alessandro’s expedition managed to discover yet another island on their way. Unfortunately, it was already named and seized by the Portuguese.
When the news reached Naples, they caused much happiness among the people. Many were eager to leave their homes to start a new life in a soon to be established colony. Unfortunately, they weren’t enough, so more people had to be ‘convinced’ to leave, by various means, known only to don Leopoldo.
Finally, after months of preparations, on 25 June of 1485, the dream came true.
The Neapolitan Colonial Empire was born.
Pictured: Neapolitan Colonial Empire in all its glory. It is in the lower right corner, you might have to take a good look.
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Naples, 27 August 1485
“Your Majesty, you called for me, right?”
Captain Adriano entered the office of King Alberto.
“Yes, Captain. I’m interested in knowing the situation in France.”
He thought for a while. “Ah, yes. I happen to possess a map displaying the war progress.”
“Could you show it to me?”
“Of course.” He handed him the map. Alberto looked at it with a stern expression.
“Something’s wrong, your majesty?”
“Captain, who made this map?”
Adriano took a look. “Uh. I…. it must’ve been some intern, my liege.”
“What, the head cartographer got drunk last night?”
“I heard he had to write down a new map of Scandinavia.”
“Ah, that explains everything. Still, tell that intern to stick to basics.”
Alberto looked at the map once again.
“Hmm, the war in France seems unresolved. Looks like the Scottish don’t want to get involved in this conflict after all.”
“Indeed. What do they think they are, British?”
“And Byzantium is taking a beating as well. Things might be turning around for them.”
“My King, we were talking about Scandinavia before and I just remembered something. It seems that Denmark is at war once again and they are requesting our assistance.”
“Again. Okay, tell them the exact thing as last time.”
“As you wish, your majesty.”
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Despite the initial unfavorable odds, Burgundy was able to fight France and its allies to a standstill. A white peace was signed in September, after almost a year of fighting.
The colonization of Canarias was progressing without issue and soon enough the plantations of profitable sugar were cropping all over the islands.
The Byzantines suffered a humiliating defeat at the hands of their adversaries. First, they were forced to buy a peace with puny Achaea, then they had to cede the province of Nis to Bulgaria.
No one in Naples was really interested in a new war, so when Novgorod proposed peace in February of 1486, King Alberto was happy to agree.
The colony of Canarias continued to grow even bigger. In September, the sailors left behind by captain Alessandro returned to the village. At first they were taken as natives, but they were recognized when they started to swear.
Needless to say, Captain Alessandro couldn’t show himself publicly in the city of Canarias anymore. For anyone else, though, a new age of prosperity was beginning….
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My sincerest thanks for reaching 10000 views! You guys are really great. I wasn’t hoping to reach even half of that.
That part was a little short, so a new one, sort of part 2, is coming up soon
-ish.
Actually, MiscMods has renaming provinces to its cultural names as its feature, so yes, you're going to see Italian province names. Some provinces will be named specifically by me, though. You'll see.
Ah, yes, I almost forgot about these guys, there are the blight on the borders of Naples! Although after what happened to Byzantium, I'm kinda scared of them...
All right, seems like the exams have finally caught up to me. There might me some delay in the updating, though I'll do my best.
Finally caught up once more! Fantastic to see that a nascent colonial empire has been established in my absence. Long may it prosper!
Good luck with all of your exams.
Good luck with all of your exams.
Episode 27- Everyone Loses Their Ship
As you can probably tell, I’m pretty proud of that title
As you can probably tell, I’m pretty proud of that title
Naples, 8 October 1486
Quite a few months have passed since Captain Alessandro embarked on his great expedition. Ever since the discovery of the Canary Islands, people in Naples were waiting for the greatest discovery that’s yet to come- the road to India.
“My King, there was been no word from Captain Alessandro and his crew for the past three months. We should accept that the ship has been lost to the sea.”
Alberto leaned forward on his chair. He was clearly unimpressed.
“So, that turned out to be a waste of time after all.”
“At least we got one colony out of that.” Olivia commented.
“Yeah, but now we don’t have a captain anymore. Where will we find someone that crazy again?!”
“Actually, my King.” Adriano said. “There was a man interested in sailing to the high seas. Antonio Boncompagni was his name, I think. He’s all but ready to set sail.”
“Is that so? All right, give him our most expendable ship.”
Despite the enthusiasm, it was quite difficult to find volunteers for the second expedition to India. This turn of things was quite surprising to everyone involved.
Even with all the setbacks, though, the expedition of Antonio Boncompagni set sail on 20 of October. Everyone hoped that this one would turn out a lot better than its predecessor.
They were, naturally, wrong.
Naples, 18 November, 1486
“My King, sadly, Captain Antonio’s expedition is not responding. It appears to be lost.”
Alberto looked at the Captain with an non amused expression.
“What, again?!”
Adriano just shrugged.
“Just wonderful. I imagine there aren’t any more ‘brave’ sailors available right now?”
“No, my liege.”
“*sight* I suppose that’s for the best. We’ll leave this issue for now as we need to concentrate on bigger things. I’ve heard that the messenger from Portugal arrived?”
“Yes, sir. He wishes to speak with you.” Adriano replied.
“I’ll meet with him tomorrow. Now, Captain, look at this over here.” He pointed at the map.
“Ah, Novgorod is in trouble again. It seems not only Moscow, but Denmark and Sweden as well are joining in.”
“Apparently, the Danes did not know the old saying about starting a land war in Russia.”
“Apparently not, sir. Anyway, I’ll get back to my duties.”
“All right. See you later, Captain.”
Adriano bowed and left the chamber. Alberto was left alone again. It was getting rather late and the small candle was the only source of light in the room.
Content with amount of work he had done, he proceeded to leave the room. Before he blew the candle, though, he was alarmed by a sudden noise coming from behind the window.
He approached it. Nothing. It must’ve been some kind of bird making a commotion. Just to be sure, he turned right. He gasped.
He was standing face to face with a stone statue.
‘Gah. Stupid thing.’ He thought to himself. The builders got really overzealous with the statues when they were building the palace. His grandfather really had a thing for them and for long, protruding spires.
He turned around, eager to end this tiring day. He wondered if Olivia was already asleep. She said she would write some letters to her brothers and….
‘Wait a minute…’ He thought and turned to face the window yet again. ‘Was this statue here before? I don’t remember seeing it before.’ He came closer to the window.
‘And hasn’t it moved a little since I last saw it?’
His face was now very close to the statue’s.
‘Nah. I must be imagining things. I really need to go to sleep…’ He blew the candle and left the room.
----------------------------------------------------------------
With the expedition of Antonio Boncompagni lost to the merciless depths of the Atlantic, Naples was forced to halt their colonial ambitions for the time being. It had much bigger problems at hand. Indeed, the old enemy of the Kingdom has risen from the dead to threaten its safety…
Well….. it’s not always the size that matters. Anyway, let’s go back to King Alberto and the Portuguese diplomat.
“It’s good to see you, King Alberto de Valois. I have an important message for you.”
“I’m always willing to listen to my allies, dear sir. Now what is it?”
“My King, we require your assistance in the war against Aragon. They are a blight on the face of tne Earth and they need to be stomped!”
Alberto pondered for a minute. “I see. Still, I can’t seem to understand why do you need our assistance against Aragon. They are hardly a threat.”
“Quite so, dear King, but unfortunately, they are protected. The bastards in Savoy and Castile decided to back them up!”
“Indeed, that’s quite problematic…. Wait, did you say ‘Castile’?”
“Yes, my King, that why we need your immediate assistance…. King Alberto? Where did you go?...”
….
“I’m supposed to take that as a ‘no’?”
---------------------------------------------------------
Alberto decided that honoring an alliance was not worth getting slaughtered for. Naples was now one ally short, though fortunately the next year turned out to be uneventful. Well, there was one thing of significance, but it was more amusing than anything.
Sure you can, Ottomans. Sure you can.
There were some people, though, that were not amused at all. Everyone in Naples though that the expedition of Captain Antonio was lost for good. What they did not know, however, was that two of its crewmembers managed to escape to safety…
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Lisbon, 2 November 1487
The grand city of Lisbon was in turmoil. Most of the population have fled to the countryside to hide from the Castilian troops that could arrive here any moment. It seems that only two people were unfazed by the whole ordeal.
They were just emerging from the docks, their clothes soaking wet, coughing and wheezing. The dark- haired one exclaimed after clearing his throat:
“*cough* I swear, Aziraphale, if you’ll lose one more ship, I’m going to kill you.”
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Naples, 20 August 1488
“Hey, Adriano, what’s up?”
Prince Carlo approached captain Adriano, who was preparing a report to show to the King at the council meeting.
“*yawn* Sorry, haven’t been sleeping much lately.”
“I hope you were having a good time, then.” He replied dryly.
“Hey, what’s with the tone of disapproval? Can’t a guy have some fun form time to time?”
“It’s not like I’m trying to stop you, you just seem so…. Focused on it. Almost like you were trying to compensate for something…”
Carlo gave him an icy glare. Though after a while they exploded into a fit of laughter.
“Oh, that was a good one! Now, show me what you’re doing.”
The Prince looked upon the map.
“So, Russia? What’s so interesting about it?”
“I don’t know. Honestly, sometimes I think the King just gives me insignificant things to pad out the council meetings.”
“Well, everything to keep Baron Diclococcio from talking…”
“There’s one more thing: a major war in the North is brewing, with Brandenburg as the catalyst.”
“They again?! When will they learn that Berlin will never be the center of Germany?”
“Probably never. Now, weren’t you supposed to be at a party?”
Carlo shrugged. “Don’t be silly. It’s a party for a bunch of stack- ups. No engaging conversations, and the women are all of the ‘bait for a King’ variety. You can’t even get within ten inches of one without a stern talk about ‘responsibilities to the country’ or ‘strategic interest’. Gah.”
“You know, Carlo, many of them are also wealthy and beautiful. I bet many would like you accept them in your ‘sphere of influence’, so to speak.”
“Hah! Never gonna happen!” He shouted while storming out of the room.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Trade centers are usually situated in places where people exchange their hugely overpriced goods for another. Some are placed near major rivers, some near straits, others on the crossroads.
Sometimes, however, there is no excuse.
The creation of the new Centre of Trade in Iceland caused some merchants to smirk. There were some, though, who were in no laughing mood.
The Republic of Novgorod paid a hefty price for the peace with Muscovy, ceding important cities of Smolensk and Vologda. Unfortunately, they were still at war with the Danes, so they took only one leg out of the proverbial outhouse.
While Novgorod was having its own problems, the Royal Council of Naples was debating a very important issue.
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Naples, 10 February 1489
“My King, the prince of Parma was declared dead. With no other heir, the succession in the kingdom of Parma is under jeopardy.”
Leopoldo presented the situation to King Alberto.
“Hmm. That can’t be good. Parma is in our sphere of interest. We can’t let it fall into the hands of the foreign power.”
“But what can we do? Declaring war is an extreme cause of action.” Prince Carlo replied.
“Parma is a part of the Empire. The Emperor will certainly protect it.” Captain said.
“I have an idea.” Olivia said and turned towards Alberto. “Your cousin is married to the King of Parma, right? As our houses are tied by marriage, we could pressure them to give the throne o a Valois.”
“This won’t make us very popular, but it is worth a try.” Alberto said.
“All right, my King. We’ll send the message to the King of Parma.”
“One more thing, my liege. Denmark is currently at war with Scotland due to their attack on Norway. They require our assistance.”
“Yeah, so what’s the matter?”
“They also require our assistance against Novgorod.”
“What? We still have a truce with them!” He exclaimed.
“Unfortunately, it seems like we have to either break the truce or break the alliance.” The Captain said.
“*sigh* All right, tell them that we decline.”
“As you wish, sir.”
-----------------------------------------------------
Denmark was left on its own to defend against Scotland and Naples lost a valuable ally. It was a big loss, but it wasn’t devastating.
While the India craze was mostly put down in Naples, other countries have stated their interest in finding a sea route to India. In February, England became first competitor in this race.
In March, the war between Castile and Portugal has ended. The Portuguese were forced to cede a large chunk of their territory, as well as pay monetary reparations. Castile was growing to be the overlord of the Iberian Peninsula.
Losing an alliance with Denmark has put Naples in a rather precarious situation. The Teutonic Order offered to fill up the void, but Alberto turned them down, fearing they would drag Naples into their wars with Poland and Lithuania.
April marked the royal marriage between Mantua and Naples. The lords of Mantua were a little concerned by Neapolitan actions towards Parma, but the ceremony proceeded without issue.
Fifteenth century was ending and thing were already starting to change. However, Naples would have to face one more ancient enemy beforehand….
-------------------------------------------------------
Naples, 20 July 1489
An overly well- dressed man was walking down the busy streets of Naples, passing by the usual crowds of thugs, thieves, courtesans and attorneys. His destination was already in sight- Royal Guild of Cartographers.
He knocked on the door. A young man opened.
“Yes, how may I help you?”
“I have some instructions for new maps.”
“Follow me, sir.” Royal servants visited the guild often, bringing news about recent developments. Maps nowadays were changing so rapidly they were barely able to keep up.
They arrived at the head cartographer’s.
“Sir, royal instructions have arrived.”
The head cartographer was a old man with barely any hair left. After working here for almost fifty years, he had learned to accept the new instructions with a bit of dread. You could never know what crazy development did happen this time.
“So, this is about the war between Denmark and Novgorod, right?”
“Yes, sir. They have just recently made peace.” He handed him the rolled paper.
“I can’t wait to see.” He said with barely contained insincerity.
He took a look at the map. His face had an expression of sheer horror.
He sit upon the chair and started to weep quietly.
Meanwhile, same day, different place. The Royal Palace of Naples in fact. King Alberto was about to hear the second most shocking news this day.
“My King, grave news! War! War is coming!”
“What? Calm down, what’s happening?” He asked the messenger.
“Serbia, sir! Serbia is being attacked by the Emperor!”
“What, Bavaria? What business do they have there?”
“No, my King, The other Emperor! The Byzantine one!”
“Oh, thank God! You got me worried for a second there.” He turned around, ready to leave.
“Wait, what?”
Statues that move when the lights are turned out? I'd be very scared if I were Alberto.
Shame about your ship issue. I don't suppose your sheltered, Mediterranean location is particularly good for exploring India (East or West). The attrition must be terrible. It's been a while since I've played EU3, but are there naval ideas to counter this? It might be worth you looking at them.
Great stuff, as ever.
Shame about your ship issue. I don't suppose your sheltered, Mediterranean location is particularly good for exploring India (East or West). The attrition must be terrible. It's been a while since I've played EU3, but are there naval ideas to counter this? It might be worth you looking at them.
Great stuff, as ever.
The Greek asses shall get kicked! And I'm not talking about the donkeys (or maybe I am, who knows?)
Statues that move when the lights are turned out? I'd be very scared if I were Alberto.
Shame about your ship issue. I don't suppose your sheltered, Mediterranean location is particularly good for exploring India (East or West). The attrition must be terrible. It's been a while since I've played EU3, but are there naval ideas to counter this? It might be worth you looking at them.
Great stuff, as ever.
Thanks again! As for the ship issue, I really did not realize how slow the transport ships are. I usually don't go for exploring this early but since I've got England and soon Portugal on my back I had to act quickly. Still, this really shouldn't happen two times in a row. Have I mentioned I'm not very good at this game?
So, my exam spree isn't over yet, but I'm hoping to get at least one part out by the end of the month.
Happy Easter everybody!
Episode 28- Purple vs. Purple
We knock on the Emperor’s door, again.
We knock on the Emperor’s door, again.
Naples, 19 September 1489
The Kingdom of Naples was at war once again, this time with the Empire itself. The Byzantines attacked Serbia, an old Neapolitan vassal and though Naples had little interest in war right now, it had to protect their protégés.
Prince Carlo de Valois was inspecting the troops ready to embark to Greece, along with Captain Adriano. He decided to give them a speech to raise the morale.
“Soldiers of Naples! We stand today before a great challenge. The Upstart Greeks, hiding in their little enclave, think they can pick up a fight against us! They think that winning the wars with weak and bickering Muslims put them in position to endanger our own sphere of influence. They are fools, I say!”
“I admit, the Byzantine return to prominence is impressive and their armies are still strong and experience, but fear not! With bravery, tenacity and good fortune at our side, we shall bring back home a victory!”
He was rewarded with a round of applause.
“That’s a very good speech, my Prince, but I really don’t think we should have much problems in this war.” Adriano quipped.
“Hey! Don’t ruin the moment! You have to have at least some dramatic tension.”
“Really, sire, with our fleet in position.”
“I said, quiet. Now…. Soldiers. Make me proud and remember: We shall never falter even when the enemy has the upper hand. For there is one thing that’s certain: they may take our freedom, BUT THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR LIVES!”
…..
“… wait, I might’ve got that wrong….”
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Prince Carlo could sleep well, as it seemed that the Byzantines were unable to claim neither lives nor freedoms of Neapolitan soldiers. The brilliant strategy to block the Bosporus Strait made the majority of Byzantine troops stranded in Asia Minor. Though many generals argued that that strategy was cheap, it helped to shorten the war.
Meanwhile, the Neapolitan troops were ready to be shipped to Greece. General Nestore Savaranola, a veteran from the war with Pisa, was put in command of the soldiers.
He quickly proved his capabilities in the battle of Zeta, where he crushed a Byzantine army with minimal casualties. This victory gave Neapolitan armies pretty much free reign on Greek soil.
Meanwhile, Brandenburg continues to be the top dog of North Germany. By November, they have managed to vassalize Mecklenburg and brought Bohemia on the verge of defeat.
The month of November also saw the final demise of Croatia, who was torn apart by Ragusa and Hungary.
In the beginning of 1490, Brandenburg managed to score a victory against Bohemia. Also, Poland won their war against the Teutonic Order.
While the wars in the North were being resolved, the war between Byzantium and Naples was still raging on. Prince Carlo and Captain Adriano were preparing their troops to march deeper into Byzantine territory.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Greece, 27 June 1490
“Ah, good to see you, Captain. How are the troops doing?”
The Captain and the Prince were sitting besides the burned out fireplace in the middle of the camp.
“The troops are ready to march, sir. By the way, didn’t I see a woman sneaking out of the camp early in the morning?”
“A woman? You specifically ordered the guards not to let any women in, Captain. It must’ve been a peasant. Yeah…. A peasant with long hair. Wearing a skirt. You know, the local’s customs are weird sometimes….”
“Right….” Adriano seemed unconvinced but decided not to go any deeper into the subject. “Let’s talk about something else. Have you heard the news? The Emperor is asking for a peace.”
“Indeed. I’ve read the letters from home. The father declined, of course. He wants a peace on his terms.”
“Hmm. How did the Emperor react?”
“He…. Didn’t take it so well…”
“Oh. Too bad. I wouldn’t want to be the young Emperor right now. We should send him our condolences. After the war is over, of course.”
Carlo flashed a mischievous smile.
“I have a better idea. How about we deliver it ourselves?”
“What, by letter?”
“No, dumbo. We will ride into the Queen of Cities ourselves!”
“That’s….. But no one have managed to brave the walls of Constantinople…. Except for your great- grandfather.”
“Well, indeed he did. And it might be vain of me to say that, but I am better than my great- grandfather.”
……
There was a long moment of silence.
“Adriano, I command you to say something!”
“Eghm…. You certainly are better at spelling our country’s name, my Prince.”
“You are so fired….”
“Fired?! Where will you find someone who can put up with you?”
“*sigh* That’s true….” He looked upon the map.
“Looks good, don’t you think, Captain? When Macedonia falls, the road to Constantinople will be open for us!”
Suddenly, they were interrupted by a soldier.
“Sir, an urgent message from the Diplomatic Corps.”
“Huh. Thank you, soldier, let me see it…”
“Tell me, Captain, should we be concerned about that?”
Adriano looked at the message. “Well, Muscowy has a lot of troops but they are far away. Still we should hurry up with the war just in case.”
“I see. “ Carlo pondered for a minute before speaking up. “Say, Adriano, I have a brilliant idea…”
“Uh- oh….”
“No, seriously, it is a good idea. When will the troops from Italy arrive?”
“Around ten days, sir.”
“Then we’ll give them quite different orders. Now, Captain, take your most competent men and meet me outside.”
“Why, my Prince?”
Carlo buttoned up his coat. “I think we’ll pay the Emperor an earlier visit.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the war threatened to take a turn for the worse, Prince Carlo called for more serious measures to ensure Neapolitan victory. He and Captain Adriano left the troops siegeing Macedonia to head towards the Queen of Cities. No, I don’t mean Naples.*
Macedonia fell in September of 1490, bringing Naples one step closer to victory.
Though it wasn’t enough for Carlo. HE wanted a definite victory, one that would be forever remembered as the crowning moment of Carlo de Valois.
He and Adriano, along with a few thousand Neapolitan soldiers stood before the great walls of Constantinople. Though the famed Theodosian Walls were famously nigh- impenetrable. It looked like a beginning of a long siege…
* Though you might argue that Naples deserves to be called a Queen of Cities, if you use the modern slang meaning of the word ‘queen’.
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Constantinople, 26 May 1491
Captain Adriano was running frantically around the Neapolitan campground. Prince Carlo hasn’t been seen in the camp for three days now. It wasn’t anything new, he often went ‘missing’ only to be found a day or two later, often in company of one or more women. Though this time Adriano had an important message and he was still missing. He was getting worried, frankly. He hoped he’s all right. He’d hate to bring the bad news home, especially considering….
“Oh, hey, Adriano. Been looking for me, I’ve heard?”
Prince Carlo was standing right in front of him.
“Prince?! Where have you been all this time!?”
“Ah, you know. Doing…. Stuff…”
“Stuff?!” Adriano was visibly irritated. “We are at war! There’s enough on my head without you going missing! What were you thinking?!”
“Relax, Adriano. I was really doing important things. Sorry for making you worry. Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?”
“Okay…. So, first, our ruse with Parma had fallen through, unfortunately.”
“That’s too bad. Peaceful expansion is always preferable to warfare. Anything else?”
“Yes. You know, my liege, we might have to abandon the siege.”
Carlo gave him a look. “Really? Why?”
“We don’t have enough firepower to blast through the walls and the city can hold out for quite some time. The King thinks it would be wiser to retreat and seek out peace with the Emperor from behind the walls.”
Prince Carlo gave him another look and laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“You see, Captain, I have this under control.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just wait. The gate should open any minute now.”
Adriano looked at him.
“Have you gone mad? You’ve been eating those ‘gyro’ things, haven’t you?”
“No, just look…. Any minute….”
“Nothing, my liege.”
“Just wait….”
“Still nothing”
“Oh, for God’s sake! How long is it going to take?”
“Look, my Prince, we should really be going. We will discuss your mental health when we get home.”
Just as the Captain was finished talking, the gates opened with a loud creak.
“Huh…” The Captain was baffled. “But, argh… What….. How?”
“Well, I have my methods, Captain.” He winked as he passed him by. “Now let’s go. I need to thank the Princess when we get there.”
Captain Adriano was too stunned to move a few more seconds after that.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks to the genius ruse of Prince Carlo Naples managed to take Constantinople for the second time.
The city’s inhabitants weren’t too thrilled to see Neapolitan troops again. They have just forgotten the first time they had to accept their hegemony. Still, at least this time their conqueror managed to spell the name of their city correctly.
Peace finally came to the feuding realms in June of 1491. All things considering, Byzantium got off quite easily- all that Naples asked for was cancellation of treaties and monetary reparations. Still, Byzantine reputation was tarnished forever, again.
With the war over, Naples could focus more on its colonies. The pressure on colonization has increased when Portugal announced their quest to find India.
As you can’t have colonies without money, King Alberto hired Ferrante Terreni as the new Master of Mint.
In August of 1491, the money and effort put into the colonies finally paid off. Canarias was finally able to sustain itself.
More good news came from North Italy. After about 50 years, the province of Romagna finally accepted Neapolitan hegemony. The lands of Naples were becoming united once again.
The fifteenth century was ending and a new age was about to begin. An age for exploration, discovery and ever- present warfare. However, there was another thing- a big, looming shadow, ready to sweep across the world, with Naples in the middle…..
“He…. Didn’t take it so well…”
I literally laughed out loud. But...not enough Greek ass kicked :angry: Ah well, you can't have everything
If it had been me I would've taken Athens and Macedonia; but whatever, great AAR! You're doing God's work, keep it up.
I literally laughed out loud. But...not enough Greek ass kicked :angry: Ah well, you can't have everything
Thank you for the kind words! I wasn't interested in any more lands in Greece this time as I didn't want more uncored land. Don't worry, the Greeks will get what they deserve, eventually.
I've had some exams recently but now I have a bit of a break, so that means I'm back to work. Expect something this week or something like that.
Episode 29- Somewhere Beyond the Sea
This AAR may contain traces of peanuts from now on.
This AAR may contain traces of peanuts from now on.
Naples, 13 February 1492
The victory against the Byzantine Empire was celebrated across all of Naples. Prince Carlo’s great stunt that helped to open the gates to the City itself has become a stuff of legends amongst the people, even though some details were wisely untold.
The Prince himself was leading the victory parade in the centre of Naples. He made sure to be dressed well for the occasion, though without looking pretentious.
“Hail Prince Carlo! Hail Naples!”
“Hah, thank you, kind people! I will always do everything to serve you and my country!”
“Look at you. So full of yourself.” Captain Adriano quipped at him from the side.
“Oi! Don’t interrupt my moment of glory!”
“You were meant to say ‘our moment of glory’, right?”
“Yes, yes. You don’t have to be such an attention hog all the time.”
“Me? I’m just trying to keep you grounded. A vain effort if you ask me.”
“Hey, I wouldn’t keep you around if I didn’t know you’re up to the task.”
“Thanks.” He blushed slightly. “Anyway, we arrived at the palace. I bet your parents want to congratulate you.”
Adriano was right. When they arrived at the palace gates, they saw King Alberto, Queen Olivia, Prince Filippo and the members of the Council, along with some guards.
“Ah, welcome home, my son! You did a great job back in Greece. People are right to celebrate such a great victory.”
“We have one more reason to celebrate, father. I’ve heard the good news. I assume everything is settled?”
“Indeed, the papers have been signed and will be shipped to Spain shortly.”
“What are you two talking about? I seem to be out of the loop here.” The captain said.
“Patience, Adriano. You will learn soon enough. Besides, we have a victory feast to look forward to, don’t we?”
The year 1492 was peaceful in Italy, though war was still brewing in other parts of the world. In March, the English decided to declare war upon Norway, hoping they would be distracted by their war with Scotland. Sadly, they would have no such luck, as Norway decided to sign a bitter peace with the Scottish in order to focus on the English. Being left alone by Denmark, Norway was in deep trouble.
The conflict between France and Burgundy, two big rivals ever since the Hundred Years War have ended in a whimper in July. Neither side was in position to make any major gains, so they have settled for some monetary reparations instead.
The struggles of Novgorod seem to have no end. In September, a group of nobles wishing to bring back the monarchy rose and toppled the republican government. Once proud and mighty, Novgorod has shrunk to just the city and the surrounding area.
The year 1493 brought great fortune to Naples. Right at the beginning, King Alberto signed a treaty that would put an end to much of the kingdom’s worries.
The alliance with Castille was a historical milestone for Naples- the first time a major power agreed to be its ally.
Now that the kingdom was safe, King Alberto could focus on different, more pressing matters.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Naples, 4 March 1493
“Hey, you there! Maybe a little bit to your right, please.”
King Alberto was overseeing a very important and strategic investment.
“May I ask you for a minute, Your Majesty?”
“Not now, Leopoldo. Those curtains won’t hand themselves!”
“I see…. Curtains, my Lord? It thought that was an important development!”
“It is important, don Leopoldo, just not to me. Olivia has been pestering me about the new curtains for quite some time and I’ve only recently been able to get around to it.”
“Still, when you’re finished, could you step down to the council chamber? There is someone wishing to speak to you.”
“All right, Leandro. *sigh* At least it won’t be any worse than this…”
After the curtains have been hung, Alberto headed for the council chamber. Inside, he saw Leandro and some other person he have never seen before.
“Yes, Leandro? What madman have come to seek my approval now?”
The person next to the sheriff looked at him mildly offended.
“It’s an honour to see you, my King. My name is Filippo Savaranola.”
“Hmm. You’re a family of General Savaranola, by chance?”
“Indeed, he’s my uncle. He was always a source of inspiration to me. It was thanks to him that I attended naval school. Erhm…. I mean, he inspired me to go there and was in no way influential in me getting admitted, I hope that’s clear.”
“Right. So, you’re a captain, then?”
He nodded. “Yes, your majesty. I started off as a sailor but soon I was given a command of a trade vessel. I’ve sailed over most seas known to man. I’ve also studied journals of Captain Ricardo that told of his ill- fated journey to India.”
“Wait a minute. You’re here to ask me for a ship and crew to embark on another insane expedition? Leandro, didn’t we move on from that?”
“Wait, my King. I already have a crew ready. All I need is a ship and your approval!”
“Funding an expedition would improve your standing with some nobles. Not to mention a certain Italian queen.” Leandro said
“All right. You’ll get one ship. Just don’t disappoint me.”
“I won’t your majesty!”
He stormed out of the chamber.
“Want to bet that he won’t show up ever again?”
“Hey, your Highness, show a bit of optimism.”
“You know, sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it to waste any effort on this lot…”
-----------------------------------------
Despite Alberto’s worries, the expedition of Filippo Savaranola turned out to be a major success, bringing much- needed knowledge of lands beyond the sea.
This, however, is a tale for another time.
Back in Europe, Norway has made peace with England in March of 1493, giving away Trondelag. This wasn’t the end of troubles in Scandinavia, as Denmark was still at war with Scotland.
Around the same time, the King of Pisa was excommunicated, again.
Meanwhile, a major breakthrough occurred in naval department. A new type of ship was thought out: small, quick and agile, ideal for scouting and exploring. A prototype was soon built and given to Captain Savaranola.
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Naples, 3 August 1493
Leopoldo Pontelli was returning to his room after a particularly tiring council meeting. He was eager to go to bed after all of this. Though while he was walking up the stairs, he heard something coming from the living room.
He was concerned. No one was supposed to be inside the living room at that time. It was probably some servants slacking off. Nonetheless, he decided to investigate.
He approached the door. He could hear a person speaking, though he could hear only half a conversation. He opened up the door slightly, hoping to hear more.
“…. No, no sight of Crowley and the other guy. I bet they just jumped ship as soon as we took our eyes off them. It doesn’t matter.”
Leopoldo could not recognize that voice. It was very deep, but there was another unusual thing about it. He could swear that all he could actually hear was some guttural gibberish and actual words were forming inside of his head instead. He contributed that to the lack of sleep, though he couldn’t leave now. He came closer to the door, trying very hard not to give himself away.
“Yes, I know they might be looking for answers elsewhere. We could press them for information once we’re done here.”
Another long pause, presumably caused by the other party talking. Leopoldo still wished he could hear the other half of the dialog, but he couldn’t afford to give himself away.
“I might have some idea, though I’m not entirely certain yet. I’ve been able to poke around this place a bit, you see. I’ve heard some conversations.”
“Stop laughing! It’s a perfect disguise! The food is actually not that bad. The only problem is that it smells a lot. Still, humans are only this better off. Man, when will they discover indoor plumbing?!”
Leopoldo was almost convinced that these people were crazy. He shouldn’t even bother himself with things like that…
“Anyway, we just need to wait until that little king of theirs bites the dust and we’re settled. Everything is almost ready. I just need to wait for an opportunity.”
Leopoldo’s eyes widened. Crazy or not, these people were talking of treason! He should report the immediately. Though instead of that, he decided to open up the door to see the culprits and catch them red- handed.
He was right in one regard- there was indeed only one person present there, only he wasn’t what you would call ‘human’.
Most sane people in that situation would run, but unfortunately it seems that Leopoldo was completely possessed by the Horror Cliché Ghost at that moment. All he could do was stare open mouthed.
“Yes, once we are in control I will show you everything. It’s wicked! You see, there’s this door and….” He turned around to see Leopoldo staring at him. “Wait a minute. I have a fool to dispose of.”
While staring the face of his demise, Leopoldo was able to do one last thing.
A loud, shrieking scream.
AIEEEEGHHHG!
----------------------------------------------------------------
Naples, 13 July 1494
“And I believe this is a check- mate!” Prince Carlo moved his bishop into position, putting Adriano’s king in a hopeless spot.
“Gah! I can’t play recently. I think I’m on edge since don Leopoldo’s death.”
“Yeah, we all got hit hard by that. Especially since there was no obvious culprit.”
“Isn’t this weird? Two people dying in suspicious circumstances inside the palace?”
“I hope this palace isn’t cursed. I will be living here for the rest of my life!”
“I’m not concerned about some kind of curse that much. I’m more concerned about the conspiracies of real human beings.”
“Hmm…. You know, can’t we talk about something less depressing? What are your thoughts about the war between Lithuania and Muscowy?”
“Oh, that one? I don’t see much point to it.”
“Yeah, it seems just as pointless as that war between England and Denmark.”
“I suppose you’re right. Should we play another game?”
Carlo shacked his head. “I don’t think we have the time. Today is the introduction of the new council member, remember?”
“Oh, right! He should be here any minute.”
In the end, they waited almost half an hour until the council member arrived.
“All right, sorry to keep you waiting.” King Alberto entered the room along with two other people. “I’d like to introduce you to the new council members.”
“Good afternoon, dear sirs. My name is Salvatore Corsini. Nice to meet you.” He introduced himself. He was the shorter one of the two, quite young, though his hair have already started to fall off. He was dressed in simple grey robes. His clothes and manner of speech suggested that he was either a priest or a monk. Captain Adriano wondered what a clergyman would do in the Royal Council. Usually priests, as usually well- educated people, tented to avoid the palace at all costs.
“it’s nice to meet you, don Salvatore. Though, I must say, I’m surprised to see a man of your status here on the Council.”
“I was surprised as well. I am a mere servant of God, fortunate enough to be a Master of Theology. I studied in Padua some time ago. I’ve heard that the King and Queen were quite impressed with my writings. “
“All right. A who might be you?” He asked the man standing on the King’s left side.
“My name is Donatan Inigya. I have studied in the University of Padua, just like don Salvatore. Though unlike him, I am the Master of Arithmetics, or if you prefer, an actual useful science.”
Donatan proved to be the complete opposite of Salvatore. He dressed in bright and fashionable clothes, his hair was long and flowing and his tongue was quick and quite sharp. They made quite an interesting contrast.
“What don Donatan tries to say is we know each other since university.”
“I was quite impressed with don Salvatore’s scientific output, so I offered him to work on my council. However, he asked me to include his long- time partner, don Inigya.”
“Let me get this straight…” Adriano asked. “You two work together?”
“If by ‘work’ you mean ‘argue all the time’, then yes.” Salvatore explained.
“Don’t complain. Polemics help to stimulate the mind. What would we be like without our rational judgment? Just simple peasants! Have you heard what are they talking about recently? They saw a comet and think it’s the end times! The end times!? That’s preposterous!”
“Well, YOU were the one acting like crazy when it appeared the other night.”
“I was excited because it was a once in a lifetime opportunity! I just had to see it, the so- called ‘doom- bringer.’ “He sneered. “It looked pretty mundane to me.”
“Really?” Salvatore said back at him. “You have better explanation to what it is then?”
Donatan opened his mouth as if he was about to speak, but paused for a minute. “I- Of course I know! Well- maybe I don’t know for sure, but I have a few theories! I could share them with you later if you like.”
“I’d like to. But now, let us resume the meeting. The other councilmen seem to get impatient.”
The rest of the meeting went without issue. After it was done, prince Carlo took the Captain to the side.
“You know, Adriano, these two are a very colorful couple.”
“Indeed. They look like an old couple in a middle of an argument.”
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The Fifteenth Century was coming to an end and it seemed that a lot of things were about to change. Sadly, some people weren’t meant to see those changes with their own earthly eyes. General Nestore Savaralona, a veteran of many wars, passed away in December of 1494. His passing was mourned greatly in Naples.
Not only people were deemed unworthy to endure into the next century. It seemed like the catastrophic war with Naples was just one hit too much for Byzantium. They got themselves into yet another disastrous war with Castille.
To make matters worse, the Mamluks decided to take up what the Ottomans failed to do. The fate of the Empire seemed sealed.
The war between Scotland and Denmark ended in May of 1495, with disastrous results for the former. Not only were they forced to cede parts of their territory, but to release Gotland as well.
Denmark’s weakness did not go unnoticed and other nations smelled the easy opportunity for plunder. The Danes enjoyed only a month of peace before they were assaulted by the Hanseatic Republic.
Finally, in August the year 1495, another blow was dealt to Naples. Just after 2 years since his departure, Explorer Filippo Savaranola died from a mysterious disease at sea.
His death was a tragedy, but his legacy lived on. The tales of his journeys, immortalized by the journal of one of the crewmembers, became famous worldwide. Soon, the fantastic news spread to every tavern, shopping square and brothel in Europe.
A new land beyond the horizon. A vast, empty land ripe with opportunity for travelers brave enough to explore it. The world was about to be changed forever.
Unfortunately, for the inhabitants of this new ‘empty’ world, it was mostly a change for the worse.
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So, sorry for being late again, but I underestimated the amount of work that I had to do. Seeing that the university is top priority for me, I couldn’t find much time to work on this AAR.
Fret not, though, as we’re back in business again!
If you’re wondering why there’s not much of the New World in this update, don’t worry, the next one will be dedicated solely to that.
See you next time!
Bonus Episode- The Expedition of Filippo Savaranola
Incidentally, I have almost no clue about ships. I hope it shows.
Incidentally, I have almost no clue about ships. I hope it shows.
The following are the surviving fragments of a diary of one A. Ziraphale, a member of the crew of Explorer Filippo Savaranola. While the exact facts may be questionable in places, it remains the most complete reconstruction of this historical event. All of which was compiled by yours truly, with inclusion of some helpful footnotes. Enjoy.
4 March 1493
Everything seems to be set- Captain Savaranola received a ship. He’s an explorer now. We’re setting sail tomorrow.
Everything went better than I expected. It wasn’t too difficult to convince Filippo to set sail for the New World. He was young and so eager to travel. He agreed to help immediately. I told Crowley that he doesn’t even need to torture him!
As for him, Crowley agreed to assemble the crew, and boy, did he deliver on that. I might elaborate on the crewmembers later when we set on our expedition. Right now we are storing the supplies that we’ll need on the journey, mostly food, drinks, cloth for fixing the sails and other essentials. Though we brought surprisingly little fresh water. I asked the quartermaster about it but he got offended and said ‘Ya stupid?! We’ve got plenty to drink!’ while pointing at the large stack of barrels of alcohol. Is this what the sailors drink while at sea? I wonder why…. Maybe because it protects them from seawater…. I’ll have to investigate further.
Anyway, the food is almost completely stored. I need to look for Crowley. He always plans some mischief when he’s by himself.
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10 March 1493
The anchors have been lifted and we are setting sails. Our first stop is Canary Islands, where we’ll restock our supplies. After that, though, it’s the New World!*
We were meant to sail off yesterday, but some sailors were too drunk to even get onto the ship. I have a strong feeling that Crowley was behind this. Then again, I have that feeling about everything bad that happens around me. Oh well…
That crew that Crowley got is…. Interesting, to say the least. First of all, there’s the captain, Filippo Savaranola. He’s a fine fellow, if a bit dull. Sadly he’s the most normal person on this ship.
Next in the line, there’s Antoni Dzierżyński, our navigator. He comes from Poland and has served on many ships before. Captain Filippo asked for him specifically, as he said ‘there is a Pole behind every profound event in history’. Antoni is quite good with a steering wheel, though a bit easy to anger and impulsive. I’ve made a mental note not to step on his toe.
Seamus Flannelson comes from Scotland, though you’d probably have guessed that without anyone telling you. He takes care of the deck and fixes any holes if necessary. I have a feeling his sole motivation to being a sailor was to drink alcohol and pick up fights. I prefer not to come in the vicinity of him.
Achmad Cordoba is….. the guy who sets sails. I don’t know what do you call him…. Anyway, he’s a Berber and he constantly carries a giant knife. Honestly, I’m kind of scared of him. Fortunately, he mostly stays up on the masts, exchanging stories of his very colorful past. Crowley really likes the more violent ones.
With such a colorful menagerie, it’s surprising that everyone can understand each other. Frankly, none of the crewmembers are well- versed in languages. Only don Dzierżyński seems to know a bit of Latin, though he only speaks in it when he’s agitated. He often exclaims about curves, which sometimes confuses the crew. Most of the people were seem to know a bit of Italian. I don’t expect them to be the next Petrarca, though. Despite that, communication is a non- issue. Seems that chants and drunken ramblings are universal.
Speaking of chants, Crowley seems to have a surprisingly large knowledge of them, especially the lewd ones. He got pretty popular with the crew because of that.
Anyway, I have to end it right here. The candle is running out and the quartermaster will yell at me if I’ll wake him up.
*Yes, he did write about a ‘New World’, despite the fact that the crew had no real way of knowing their destination would end up somewhere else than India. This is a subject of debate between the scholars. Some say that it proves that the journal was either rewritten by someone who lived later or changed by the editor. Others claim that the journal is an outright fabrication, made way after the expedition. Finally, they are people that say that the author was obviously deranged and some the entries are outright insane. Honestly, I’m more inclined to the last category.
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12 March 1493
We’ve finally arrived at the Canarias. We had to stock up on some supplies, mostly alcohol. I swear, I must be the only person here that drinks water. Oh, well.
I had the weirdest dream last night. In that dream, I saw a great empire spanning all of Europe. All created by…. Canary Islands. Gah, what nonsense! I bet that fish I ate last night was a bit off. I need to talk to the quartermaster about that.
Anyway, we’re setting sail tomorrow. First, we’re going south, to chart the shores of Africa. It’s a pet project of our cartographer, Fernando Alvara. Don Alvara was a member of a royal cartographer guild in Castille, but he resigned when he heard about recent developments in Scandinavia. I can’t blame him, honestly.
We’ll sail right after we get the rest of the crew back on the ship, which won’ happen that soon. I kind of understand them- this is their last stop on solid land for a long time. What baffles me is that they decide to spend their time on such menial activities.
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20 March 1493
We’ve set sail from the Canarias about five days ago. Right now, we have moved past the Mauretanian Coast, beyond the reach of all known maps. We are still moving along the coast of Africa. The great continent looms majestically right at the edge of horizon as we traverse the unknown seas.
The voyage has went without major setbacks, though some of the crewmembers seem to get on each other’s nerves.
……..
“Aye! That what you’re callin gin? Back in Scotland you’d get locked in a barrel filled with fish!” Seamus Flannelson was unhappy about the quality of beverages on the ship.
“You should relax, don Flannelson. I’m sure the brewers were doing their best, given the limited time and resources.” I said, trying to ease the tension.
“Oi, what’s up with you?! Ya’ve been paid by gin distillers?” He said angrily. “Maybe ya should drink that concoction yarself!”
“No thanks, sir. I don’t drink alcohol very much.”
His eyes opened wide. “WHAAA? Are you some kind of gal?! Please don’t tell me you’re a gal. Women on ships bring bad fortune. They should stay on the shores, waiting with warm dinners and warm beds, aye!” He exclaimed while burping loudly.
“I’m not a woman, don Flannelson. And please, don’t yell so much.”
‘Ay, I’m sorry. Is my accent to sharp for ye Saxon ears? I’ll try to keep I down for you.”
“What… I’m…. I’m not Saxon….”
“Ya look Saxon enough to me! Now sod off, I there has to be a decent drink somewhere on this ship….”
………………..
After that, he promptly proceeded to harass the quartermaster. I’ll probably never understand the deal with alcohol. I don’t have to drink at all*, though I sometimes drink water to make a better disguise. Crowley, on the other hand, seems to have no qualms in drinking as heavily as the sailors. Then again, for him that’s something normal.
That’s probably it for today. It’s getting late and I’m tired. Besides, the candle is going out and probably I won’t even finish this sen
* Phrases like that clearly indicate the ongoing mental deterioration of one A. Ziraphale. Clearly the man was getting delusional due to the long trip and vitamin shortage. Some even claim that he started to develop a form of schizophrenia. We can’t know for certain.
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2 April 1493
We have arrived at the shores of the great and bountiful Sultanate of Mali. Many sailors were dreaming of the vast riches of this country hidden away in the hostile jungle. Me- I frankly have enough of this place. We’ve made contact with the locals but due to our lack of translator we couldn’t figure out a word they were saying. Thus, we’ve resigned from sending an expedition inland. Though given that Muslims do not drink alcohol, they wouldn’t probably find anything they’d like…
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15 April 1493
Today was rather quiet day, at least compared to yesterday. The boys were drinking pretty hard the day before and now they are struck by a terrible curse known as a hangover. A fitting punishment if you ask me.
It’s actually eerily quiet now, without all the drunken singing and screaming. One song in particular caught my attention. It was about a girl who stumbled into the docks at evening. I would give more details about that song but frankly I can’t, in case this journal falls into the hands of a minor. Someone really had an imagination…. The worst thing is, I can’t get it out of my head…..
One more good thing about the hangover thing is that Crowley is lying in the corner moaning, which means I have some time for myself. I have brought some books from the shore. I’m currently reading through the Plato’s treaty about Atlantis. It’s very fascinating how a person like Plato could know about the ‘lost continent’, which in actuality was a practical joke by Bellisarius. Poor guy, he never regained his position after that.*
A few days before, we have discovered a new chain of islands, just off the coast of Mali. That was, by chance, also the day when many of the sailors succumbed to seasickness. It made an impact on the name of the newly- discovered archipelago.
Tomorrow we’ll sail back to the Canarias, then we’ll sail west- into the unknown.
* Another completely insane line. Scholars argue whether this was a joke on the author’s part or a straight- up nonsence. Frankly, I don’t know which one is worse- the fact that A. Ziraphale have lost it during the cruise, or the fact that he was sane and hell- bent on screwing with the reader.
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12 August 1493
There hasn’t been an entry here in a long while. Mostly because there was nothing of note to write about. Well, there was one thing- after arriving in Canarias, a surprise was waiting for us: a brand new ship.
This one was bigger, more maneuverable, harder, better, faster, more resilient, in other words- a perfect ship for exploration. Unfortunately, it also meant that we needed to move our supplies from one ship to another. It wasn’t an easy endeavor to be sure. Later, we realized that the new ship needs more crew. Fortunately, it wasn’t very hard to find more sailors.
Unfortunately, it meant more drunken ramblers walking around the deck. Oh, well…
Now we can really start our journey west. In the words of don Dzierżyński, ‘We’ll show those sukinsyny what we’re capable of!’
(Author’s note: I was actually curious what the word don Antoni said meant, so I looked it up in the dictionary when we went back home. I…. frankly, preferred it untranslated……
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19 August 1493
It has been a while since I wrote in this journal. Frankly, I’m happy we’ve managed to get through that last week alive.
There was a terrible storm recently. It was so intense I feared half a crew would be swept out of the deck into the depths. The tides were so high we were barely able to keep the vessel straight.
………………………………..
Everyone was scrambling around the deck, slipping on the wet surface every few steps. Achmad, Seamus and a few other crewmembers were holding the ropes. Dzierżyński was throwing Latin phrases from behind the steering wheel. Even Crowley decided to help.
“Come on, people! We can do this, just a little while longer!” The captain exclaimed. He was soaking wet, just like the rest of the crew. Everyone besides Fernando Alvara was above deck- storms and paper don’t mix well together.
“We’re giving it all she’s got, captain!” Seamus sreamed while holding on to the rope.
“Hold on! I think the sky is clearing out!”
They all looked upwards. Indeed, the steel- grey clouds were spreading out, giving way to the blue sky once again. A ray of light pierced through the clouds as some kind of sign from the Heavens.
Much hugging and screaming ensued. Needless to say, everyone drank heavily that night.
Yes, everyone including me.
Crowley have finally managed to convince me to try this alcohol thing. I might’ve drank too much to be perfectly honest…. I don’t want to talk about the results of that.
Hopefully the rest of the journey will go without such problems.
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2 September 1493
Today is the day that will be remembered in history.
It started like just another ordinary day at the ship-some sailors cleaning the deck of vomit, occasionally a fight. It all changed when we heard don Antonio calling.
“Land! It’s land! Oh, thank God it’s land!”
A couple of islands appeared on the horizon. This was what we’ve all been waiting for- our journey wasn’t in vain. We have discovered land on the far side of the great sea.
I would write more about this, but everyone is in a very good mood right now. I think another night of heavy drinking is about to happen. The boys won’t be happy if we ever run out of alcohol.
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7 September 1493
Five days after our great discovery we have significantly less reasons to rejoice.
Yesterday, just when we were about to return to African coast, we’ve discovered another ship. Upon further inspection, it turned out to be a Portuguese one.
To make matters worse, it was clearly sailing to Europe, the direction we were heading towards. Some members of the crew voted to engage the vessel and ‘beat the everloving crap out of them’, but ultimately we decided to keep a low profile. Starting hostilities with foreign ships clearly wasn’t in the royal instructions.
Were we too late? Were it the Portuguese who could claim to discover those new lands? We may never know. All that’s certain is that our journey will without doubt inspire more to follow our footsteps. And maybe they’ll smell better too! We can only hope. We can’t go into the New World spreading diseases!*
Anyway, it’s time for me, as it is already late. Soon we’ll dock in the Canarias.
*The irony of that statement is so astounding I can’t find proper words to describe it. Maybe it’s time to retire?
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2 October 1493
It’s been two weeks since we dropped anchor in the Canarias. The whole city is busting with rumors of our escapade and the sailor’s tales about their exploits are only making the rumors stronger. Frankly, they are mostly greatly exaggerated- we’ve only sent a small team consisting of the Captain, Antoni Dzierżyński and a few crewmembers to set foot on land. We haven’t met any of the locals though I imagine the settlers will eventually come in contact with them.
I must say it feels weird to be walking around on land after spending so much time aboard a ship. I ‘m having some trouble sleeping now without all that tilting and shacking. Fortunately, though, we’ll set sail soon. This time, we’ll be sailing south once again. There has been some rumors that it is possible to get to India by sailing around the coast of Africa as well. With our sudden rivalry with Portugal, we need to explore every possibility.
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19 October 1493
We have once again set sail towards Africa, this time even further south. Unfortunately, this time we’ve discovered more than natives. It seems that during our absence, England has established a colony just south of Morocco.
The entrance of another country into the race for India is troubling, even if England is much weaker than it was before. We have to keep an eye on them.
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23 October 1493
We have sailed further than any European has got before. Today we have established contact with an African tribe describing itself as Oyo. I still don’t know if that was their name or if one of the natives accidentally hurt himself in the foot.
Anyway, Crowley is bothering me to get to the New World as soon as possible. We’ll probably leave this expedition as soon as we get back to the Canarias. Then, we’ll catch a vessel travelling west.
To be fair, I still do not know what to do after that. I hope that Crowley won’t find out. He would get pretty upset if he did.
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2 October 1493
We’ll still sailing south. Some of the crew are getting worried that we’ll accidentally sail off the edge of the world, but some pep talk and occasionally a slap on the face from Seamus Flannelson are enough to calm them down.
We have discovered another isolated island. We called it ‘Saint Helena’. This one might be useful as a forwards naval base. And maybe as a really nasty prison.
We’ll probably set sail home soon. Some of the crew are getting tired of the constant voyage. Well, for me and Crowley the journey’s only beginning. Though chances are I won’t write anything that happens then down.
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4 March 1494
Hey there. This is not Aziraphale writing. I tricked him into drinking this thing from the far East they call ‘vadka’. Poor bastard will probably be knocked out until tomorrow morning. I almost feel sorry for him. I decided to vandalize his journal because he didn’t write anything in a long time. Also, because I’m evil. Or something.
Anyway, this is Crowley. Eh, how’s it going? Is that how you write a journal? Aziraphale told me it’s a bit similar to talking to yourself. What a weird thing to do.
So, let’s do just that….
Hey, handsome Devil. How are you today? I hope you’ve had enough time to create more misery and hopelessness in the world. You’re seriously falling behind.
…..okay, this doesn’t seem to be working out. I’ll write normally from now on…
So, we and Aziraphale got onto the ship sailing towards the New World. We hoped to find that damn old man who has the answers we need. It’s going to be a real pain to find him, I just know that…
To our surprise, this was a Portuguese ship. We’ve asked a few crewmembers about their destination. Turns out they were settlers. Turns out Portugal has some new ‘colonies’ in what they call ‘West India’.
Honestly, that was unexpected. Maybe I’ll convince the natives to burn them down…. Or, even better- send a terrible epidemic of cooties on them. That would be devious!
Anyway, we’ll arrive in three days or so. After that, it is time to find our answer. Whatever it is…
Now, an ending…. I know! Aziraphale is a dumb ass, a buffoon and even his own mother wouldn’t love him, had he have one. See ya!
The rest of the journal is scribbled with pentagrams, goats and very crude images of male genitalia.
*No, there is no adequate comment to that ,so no footnote. Move along.
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So, this is all of it. I’ve omitted some bits that don’t contain any useful information. As you can see, this was surely an interesting read. I don’t know whether this one is a fabrication or a genuine thing. One thing is certain though- A. Ziraphale was a loony.