Chapter 7:"Poor Poland..."
9th September 1939
President Manuel rushed hurriedly through the long corridors of his offices, slammed the door shut behind him and threw his suitcase on his desk with excessive force. Then he smelled the garlic and cheap tobacco and knew the former chief of staff, general Martínez, was also present. President collapsed on his chair angrily, throwing a small book on the table.
'What's that book?' General asked, pipe in his mouth. 'Reading for the plane?'
'It's translation from the diary of that German officer who fought against us in Civil War.' General muttered angrily. 'He complains how his Panzers are useless and our people just can't see the superiority of German people. He was
obersturmblitzfuhrer Franz Flakpanzer. What a pity we did not capture him, thought.'
'Well, how was it in London, Boss?' General asked. He had the usual pile of reports on his hands, and the usual air of clumsiness about him.
'Quite terrible, old chap.' President said. 'Those blokes are just bonkers!'
'Wow Boss, you really sound like a Tommy already!' General wondered. 'Was the meeting with Allies leaders that bad?'
'It was a jolly good show, with abundance of drinks and complete lack of intelligence. First thing that caught my eye was that London actually produces more leadership than all of Spain together!'
'All Spanish cities produce 2.7 leadeship together so London actually outweighs all of Spain alone! This is intolerable!'
'I did not know we were that smart here in Spain.' General cried. 'Almost as good as London! They sure have a lot of manpower there, by the way.'
'That's just the initial surge from mobilization that happens in HPP.' President waved his hand. 'We managed to discuss two important facts amidst all that drinking and gambling. I haven't seen as much drunkenness since I was a boy scout! First thing was the name of alliance. We tried Grand Alliance but Russians vetoed it. They said it was trademarked to use only in connection to USSR, so we could not use it yet. Finally we settled with the name of Grandiose Alliance, but everybody only speaks of "the Alliance".'
'That was some really tough diplomacy the Reds are doing.' General reflected. 'Anything about the war?'
'Yes, something.' President searched his pockets for something. Finally he pulled out a crumbled paper that obviously been sheltering a ham sandwich not long time ago. 'Here is our Top Secret general defensive plan against the Jerry. Allies though they are trying the same as 'last time', that is, attacking through the Belgium. So we agreed on defensive measures. Have a look.'
'So here are the large rivers of Belgium and Holland. We only need to sit behind them and shoot, and river will take care of the rest. Simple plan, is it not? As you can see these natural barriers nicely add to Maginot Line.'
'Sure Boss, but there is a gap in the middle!'
'That's Luxemburg, but it's a neutral country so we need not to be worried about it.'
As general was still pondering this curious logic President continued. 'And, in unlikely event that Mussolini would be crazy enough to enter war against us, here is our plan against Italy. They would probably try to capture North Africa since France has no forces there at all, and UK has only marginal presence. However, we can only carry out limited naval operation since Italian navy is so powerful. Here is the plan.'
'Uh...' General muttered. 'Won't Italians sink our boats if we try to make a landing in Sardinia?'
'Not at all, old chap. Those jolly gentlemen in Royal Nave promised naval support, and that will keep Italians away! They said "We'll see" which in English means that they will aid us. Nonetheless, our first priority must be to defend Spain against Italian aggression, and without the naval bases in Sardinia that objective would be secured. Our marines...'
'Sorry to bother Boss, but we don't have any marines yet. They are not even in the que.' General tried to interrupt,
'...our marines secure the port and that will send Mussolini packing. In the north there is nothing to worry about. French and Brits can handle Germans. Let us not forget that France is a very powerful country.'
'But Boss, this is not Europe Universalis! In HoI France is pitifully weak! And they research some really useless stuff all the time!'
President smashed his fist on the table. 'No more about that! Now, what is the report from the frontlines?'
'Well Boss, we have established ourselves around Belgian border and Maginot Line. You should see that thing! I don't know how French could afford to build all that, but it's really amazing. Unfortunately I'm not impressed by our French allies.'
'Explain.' President said shortly.
'Well Boss, here is something I saw few days ago. French 4th division simply left the line, leaving a big gap undefended before another had moved in. Germans nearly captured Mulhouse without firing a shot! This happened before we were even near, and we had to persuade the French about their mistake. They plugged it in time, but it was too close for comfort. We suspect this is because some of the divisions are commanded by Paris HQ, some by Marseilles HQ. Also not that their relative combat strengths are rather low, only 4-4.'
'Blimey this stupid AI!' President cried. 'Why Germans never fail that badly?'
'Also the condition of French army is woeful.' General continued, flipping through his report. 'They have no radios, no medical services, no officer training. Their infantry weapons and tactics are same as in January 1936. On positive side, they have researched pretty impressive artillery. My guess is that they plan to hide behind our infantry with their big guns and let us do the dying.'
'Fair enough.' President said grimly. 'If that is how we win the war so be it.' He took a fistful of aspirin before he asked the fatal question. 'What are the news from Poland?'
'Gone from bad to worse!' General said cheerfully. 'Since they are with Allies now we have access to all intelligence. I must say it has been quite desperate lately. Have a look at latest reports.'
'Good golly! Are they even fighting?' President cried with disgust.
'I'm sure they try, but we suspect that their infantry weapons are all level one. Those muskets could not stop a taxi. Note that their relative combat strength is only 2-2, while ours is 5-6. We must act immediately if we are to save Poland!'
'There will be no action.' President muttered gloomily. 'Frogs and Tommies are determined to hide behind the Line and let Poles survive as well as they can. It's a nasty policy, but I have little to say about it.'
'I have to confess that it's probably the only option available.' General said with a shrug. 'Our troops are still half-mobilized and their weapons are still not up to date. It will take weeks and months before we could fight properly. Without rest of the Allies there is little we can do. Anyway, Poland is probably gone already as we speak. That report was some days ago. This came today.'
'Blimey!' President cried. 'They left
six divisions surrounded? That is criminal, or stupid, or both!'
'It's AI.' General said laconically. 'On positive side now we have rather good impression about German numbers. We counted some 50 divisions attacking Poland and some 30 at Maginot Line. If we consider them to have at least some 40% divisions still inside the Reich, they could have as much as 120-140 divisions and certainly producing more. Currently we have 21.'
President massaged his aching forehead. 'Is that all?'
'No Boss! Have an another look at the report and tell me what you see that is surprising. Or rather, what you
don't see that is surprising.'
'This is no time for philosophy.' President frowned. 'What is it?'
'Look well, and you'll notice the complete absence of armored units we heard so much about. We have thus far seen some 80 infantry divisions, of which some 20% appear to be motorized, but no armors!'
'True!' President cried, suddenly more optimistic. 'Even we seem to have more armored units that they! If their infantry weapons are not
that good, we might still win!'
'Well, there will be damn many of those infantry divisions.' General reminded him. 'And they probably have as good weapons as we do. About that, by the way. Now that we are in war we should train some officers. Our current ratio is only 44% and falling fast.'
'I hate army officers!' President shouted. 'They waste our precious leadership!'
'Gee, thanks a lot Boss.' General muttered. 'Anyway, we'll have to cancel all but the most vital projects, as painful as it might seem. We'll continue to develop those nasty new Subfusil Star SMGs that show such a great promise. Also the funding for infantry training must proceed.'
'Oh bother.' President muttered. 'I hate those rules, and I'm not even sure what officer ratio does in this game. But I guess our army was bit neglected for three years.'
'Oh, we could also now continue with that Order of Battle we started in last post.' General said, making vague gestures with his pipe. 'We still have air forces to go, and they might prove important. We already had our first air combats, you know?'
In few early clashes French-Spanish coalition fought off weak Luftwaffe squadrons, since most of their planes were in Poland.
'Anyway, so we have two squadrons of bombers and fighters, all which have two wings of planes. In total this would be some 800 planes. Not much, but not bad for developing country either. Here is one of our bomber squadrons, the one we captured during the Civil War. I'm sure the Germans will be confused to shoot their own planes!'
'Do they also have stupid nicknames?' President asked.
'Of course, Boss!' Our bomber squadrons are great enthusiasts of 'American' lifestyle so they are called Popcorn and Weetabix. Here is our fighter squadron.'
'Impressive antique.' President commented sourly. 'Is this the best we have?'
'Afraid so, Boss. Our planes are mostly old Polikarpovs or "Popos." Our pilots had an amusing song about their job, which goes like...' He begun to sing with broken falsetto.
"Oh, I'd rather be a hobo than flying a Popo. My hand around the bottle and not around that goddamn throttle..."
'Thanks you very much!' President interrupted. 'And they
too have stupid nicknames?'
'Sure Boss! Our two squadrons are 'Flying Circus' and 'Porco Rosso'. They have high morale despite all this, since they know their job is always preferable to that of an infantryman.'
'Hmm... I must have heard that later name somewhere.' President reflected. 'I see our Air Forces were relocated in Southern England. What about the navy?'
'Well Boss, there is not much to say, and Navy will not be important until Italy joins in. But here they are, currently in Dover. No nicknames, though.'
'Not very impressive, I must admit.' President said. 'We could engage in some limited naval operations but nothing too ambitious. They could assist land battles with their guns but not much more. Hopefully Germans have even less that us. But now let us get back to work, and keep a sharp eye on Eastern situation.' With a smart salute general left.
But President's tranquility did not last long. Only few days later general Martínez rushed into President's office with telegram in his hand.
'The soviets have crossed to border into Poland!' He cried, waving the telegram in his hand.
'I knew it!' President shouted triumphantly. 'Good old Stalin came to save us after all! Now Hitler is doomed!'
'Uh....Boss.' General begun, little confused. 'If that is how you feel, you perhaps do not want to see this photo our spies just carried in. Here German general Guderian is posing with his Soviet allies...' President grabbed the photo, his eyes bulging with terror.
'Poor Poland.' President reflected. 'So far away from God, so close to USSR.'
'Sorry to say, Boss, but it seems that good old Stalin sold us along his principles and made a deal with Germans. Now they are carving up Poland between themselves. We suspect that if this is true, then also Baltic states and Finland have been sold to Soviets secretly.'
'And now Hitler can send his main force against us!' President said weakly.
'Not quite. I don't think he trusts Papa Stalin further than he can throw him, but this cleans his table awfully well. Poland will fall in few days now and then... Are you okay, Boss?'
'Of course.' President replied. 'Why should I not be? We'll teach those Fascists the meaning of courage, freedom and superior firepower!'
'Sure thing, Boss! Next stop will be that bothersome Phoney War, and we can really use our planes. Finally we are getting some action!' With another salute general left.
After general had left, President sat silently for few minutes. Then, carefully making sure that he was alone, he opened his desk and took out a small picture that was usually hidden. In picture there was good old comrade Stalin, working on his desk as resolutely as always. The very picture of trustworthiness, kindness, and promise of better future.
President Manuel wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye.
'Why did you do it, comrade...'