• We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Hugues is the Regent. Valerio is the Duke.

And Hugues is handling things fairly well. (He's a Grey Eminence with a Diplomacy score of 15.) But he's also a Judge personality, and I can't help but feel that they find the Crusader Kings universe--rather unpleasant.
 
A Matter of Faith, or We're Not On A Mission From God.

Lombardia
May 5th, 1082


And hello again. I brought you some more blankets. And a chair! So you and your little brood of children can--sit. On occasion.

Ah. Neda. Well--it was a boy. Salvatore. And--we've had another one since then. Also a boy. Anselmo. They're really quite lovely children. I look into their little faces, and I want to make them proud. And Neda--happy. Even if she continues to insist that life is meaningless slog through bleak circumstances, punctuated by death.

I'm thinking--flowers. Lots, and lots, and lots of flowers.

But on the whole things have been fairly quiet here. The biggest news is that the Pope has called on the forces of Catholic Christendom to do a favor for the Byzantine Emperors--yes, it's still plural. Actually--that's rather an interesting story, and I rather get the impression that Father never did give it to you.

It all starts with Michael Dukas, and his father, Konstantinos. Konstantinos Dukas was a very poor Emperor who managed to alienate his nobles at the same time that he managed to get the Empire in a life and death struggle with the Seljuk Turks. He then proceeded to die, leaving the whole mess to Michael. Michael was, perhaps, not the ideal candidate to handle a tottering Empire whose nobles were rising in revolt as it was being invaded by marauding Turks--he was a man of little ability, and a stutterer to boot.

But damn it, he almost managed to pull it off.

You see, Michael had one simple difference from his father--Constantine Dukas had considered himself a great thinker and born leader, and alienated everyone. Michael knew he was a man placed in circumstances well beyond his own abilities, and acted accordingly. He gathered men and women of ability to him, and ruled with their advice. Crushing rebellious nobles, he placed loyal men of merit in their place. Then he turned his attention to the Turk, fighting them off when he could, and eventually taking the battle to them.

At which point, he took a spear in the gut, and died in horrible agony. He reigned for all of two years.

And yet, all was not lost. Michael had designated as his heir a man of ability and merit--a warrior who would continue his work--Bartolomeos Choumas!

Who was he? Good question. All the Princes of the Empire were asking the same thing. Choumas was a new man who'd risen in Michael's favor for his competence, with nothing but a vague connection to the old ruling class in his favor. The older families didn't appreciate having to bow to a nobody, especially the Phokasi, the Princes of the Aegean Isles, who rose in revolt. They probably would have been crushed like bugs, but remember, there was an ongoing war with the Turks. Long story short--Bartolomeos was defeated in a surprise attack by the Phokas' forces, and signed a humiliating treaty where he handed over the Empire to them. He then rushed back to Byzantion, and announced to all the world that he'd been lying, as he slammed down the gates. Normally, the Phokasi would have probably gone after him, but now they were the ones dealing with the war, and the various uprisings going on. Which got worse when people discovered that instead of the old elective throne, the Phokasi planned on keeping the Empire in the family.

And so the Turks have continued to rampage in the Anatolia unhindered, seizing such valuable territories as Antioch, the gateway to the Holy Land. Both Emperors wrote to the Pope asking for assistance, and he's responded by calling on the crowned heads of Catholic Europe to go retake Antioch. And he's sort of hinted that if a few more provinces in the Holy Land were to happen to find themselves conquered by Christians, why, that would be lovely. After which, I'm told, he coughed, and it sounded like 'Jerusalem'.

In many ways, this is the perfect time to go fighting against the Mohammedeans--the Kingdom of Egypt has collapsed into civil war, turning what had been a large, more or less unassailable nation into a buch of squabbling, little states. Unfortunately Catholic Europe isn't doing much better. The nation of Germany is recovering, but still rather fragile. In England, William the Bastard's luck has run out--there's been an uprising in the North, and I've heard he's taken a nasty wound quelling it. To put it simply, the Heathen is hurting, but so are we.

The Pope's having none of this, of course. He's put a lot on the line, declaring this war, and he's doing all he can to make it irresistable. This war, he says, is not like most wars, even the other justifiable wars. It's not only good and just, but holy, a war for God, and those who go on it will be pardoned their sins. No Pope has ever said anything like this before--not even when the Mohammedeans nearly captured Rome. Still--people like the idea. The Germans are even calling it a Crus Rade--a War of the Cross. Personally, I think the thing will end in failure, and people will shrug and forget about it. But--that's just me. I'm sensible like that.

No, we're not getting involved. We don't have the funds to go abroad, especially to fight the Turks, who I will remind you are very large, and quite terrifying. Valerio loves the idea though, I have to admit. He's running around the castle construction site, waving his practice sword around, attacking imaginary Turks and Arabs, and calling himself the Knight of Christ. Of course, he listened to my explanation of why we couldn't--join in this one. And he accepted it. "Next time," he declared brightly. "Next time." And then he went back to killing imaginary Turks and Arabs while that little white cat of his--Tybalt Junior--tagged along.

And one day, he shall rule this Duchy for real. I hope some of what I've tried to impart to him... sinks in. I really do.

Well, it's been pleasant talking to you. Thank you for your time, and... what? Oh! Well of course, you can name him after me! I'm honored. Let me see the little fellow...

Ahhh! He smiled at me! Best of fortune, little Hugues. And don't gorge yourself on rat.
 
Last edited:
A Brief Diversion, or Nothing Can Possiblie Go Wrong!

Lombardia
April 25th, 1083


Well, here I am again. It's been fairly quiet. Though Neda's pregnant once again.

Mmm... The Crus Rade? Well, the Pope's had a couple of takers. Hungary declared war on the Turks, followed by its joined at the hip ally Poland. I think it wasn't quite what His Holiness was expecting--the Eastern monarchies are not the heavy-hitters of the Catholic world--but beggars can't be choosers. Still--the Coalition of the Willing is doing better than can be expected. Not the least because Alp Arslan, King of the Seljuk Turks, and perhaps the most fearsome Mohammedean warlord ever, died a few years ago, and his son's been trying to pick up the pieces. Poland actually won some territory, though it's been taken by a holy order of monks turned knights calling themselves the Hospitalers, who the Church are trying to promote as the new face of the Christian faith. And Hungary's besieging Antioch as we speak.

I have to give His Holiness Alexander II credit. This is might just be what the Catholic nations need to keep us from tearing each other apart. On the other hand--well, witness Hispania. Despite the fact that Castile, Leon, and Galinda have all been reunited by a combination of force and people dying at convenient moments, and despite the fact that Navarre and Aragon are now one--tiny--nation, Barcelona, one, the bastions of Iberian Christianity, just fell to the Emir of Seville, who is doing the same thing that his Christian counterparts are, only on much larger scale...

Ahh, well. Not our concern. We've got matters closer to home. The Count of Urbino recently declared himself independent, and in a case of what I must assume is massively drunken delusion, declared war on Heinrich. Just to make you understand how foolish this is--Urbino is not only a single county--it is a sparsely inhabited backwater. And as it is right in our metaphorical backyard--and because I suspect the Germans are starting to wonder what the advantage is in being allied in us, besides us not putting the knife in at an inoppurtune moment--we're joining in. I'm heading out with Marshal Frederico tomorrow. I figure we can be in Urbino, knock down his petty little insurrection, and perhaps even get him to sign on.

Really, it should be a piece of cake. Why... uhhh... what's that rubbing...?

Oh. Hello Tybalt. I was wondering where you disappeared to. Umm... nice kitty...

Ahh... I'll get the old fellow some... table scraps. He's looking rather scrawny... We can talk more later.

Also--love the ratskin clothing. I'm really starting to admire your family's--creativity...
 
Ratskin clothing - love it :)

Good update as always! And given that my lunch hour is just finishing this was a nicely sized update that I was able to digest just before going back to the grind!
 
The Workings of Power, or Don't Get Mad--Get BIGGER!

Lombardia
December 31st 1084


Ahh. Hello again. Sorry if it's been awhile. We've been... busy.

Urbino. Oh, yes. That was part of it. Let me... get a seat. This one will take a while...

So--we beat King Oink there, smashed through the fort in record time, got the Count to join Team Lombardy, and then headed back home.

After which Heinrich arrived, smashed through the fort AGAIN, killed the Count and his entire family, then razed Urbino to the ground. Presently, the county's been added to His Royal Swineness's personal demense. When he's gone over a place like he has Urbino, that means he posts a bunch of merceneries there to put the boot to anybody who looks at them funny, and visits every now and then to make sure that it's all working out.

...

...

I'm sorry. Things like this--get to me. I--I never wanted to admit it, but damn it--Father was right. This is a hard wicked world, ruled over by bastards, and to make it, you have to be willing to play a little dirty. But not too dirty, and you have to have something you're fighting for besides simply 'our Godgiven right to smash people'. Father had that, God bless him. He had a dream of Italy free once again, its people no longer oppressed by foreign overlords. Well, that's a good place to start. But I think you need something more. And for me--that's justice. That's making a world where the weak are protected by the strong, where laws bring order and civilization. And that's what we're going to do. And if as a side-effect of all this we wind up running everything--well, I consider that a suitable reward for improving everyone's life. After all, someone has to be in charge, and we seem to be the only people around capable fo doing in a civilized fashion.

Yeah, we were feeling a bit down after the whole Urbino affair, and needed a bit of a pick-up. Which is when Valerio reminded us that we still had that commission against Parma! Well, it was right on the way home, so we declared war on them, marched our troops in, and in a month, the Bishop was agreeing that it was good to have the Duke of Lombardia as his overlord. Well, the marshal was planning on going home then, but I found out the Magistrate of the Republic of Bologna had gone mad, declared himself to be Christ returned, and gotten himself a heaping helping of excommunication. Well, the troops were still eager, so we marched out to Bologna, and once again, took it no time at all, with the city treasury paying back our entire investment in the war, and then some. Actually, I'm starting to see why Father was so fond of this--when wars work out, people start looking up to you. We sent the Magistrate into exile--I could have brought him into the new regime, but we really didn't need a crazy heretic, and anyway, after a couple years dealing with Nice, I was in the mood to leave Italy short one Republic. We've set Cosimo, our old Spymaster, up as the Count of Bologna--a reward for his past loyal service, and a way to keep him from storming into the Council Chambers and insisting we rehire him, something he's done on more than one occasion. He seems happy with his promotion.

So that's how it stands on the eve of my younger brother's assumption of full rule. I like to think that I didn't do too bad--we not only survived having a child on the throne, we thrived and even picked up a little territory. Now, it's up to Valerio.

Oh, yes, and Tybalt died a few days ago. Though Valerio's got his child--Tybalt Junior--following him around. Also--what with my preparation to hand over the reins of government, I decided to get you all a little treat. Behold! Fish!

...

Ummm... they're creatures that live in water. That you eat. My goodness, it has been a while since you... went down here, hasn't it?

I'll have to remind Valerio of that.
 
Definitely :). Will be missing the judge regent, he makes a good tale.
 
A bit of a bump, wherein I'll share one of the most annoying blunders I've ever made. I had an Armenian campaign going, where I'd managed, with clever playing and more than my share of luck, to have Roupen Rubenid King of Armenia, and then get Armenia in control of almost the entirety of Asia Minor in twenty years game time.

And then I saved over it.

Oh, well. Back to the drawing board.