And I laughed as I drained my mug of coffee while reading that!
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Road of Queens - CKII India AAR
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty : Lots Of News And A Hired Assassin
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty : Lots Of News And A Hired Assassin
So this chapter opens in early April, of the year 951 AD, with the Empress trying to figure out who was messing with her match making.
Who had canceled the marriage arrangement between the Great King of Lanka and her Heir?
She, of course, sent another proposal of a arranged Matrilineal Betrothal.
The Empress seemed to be swaying Exarch Hrodgar. A little, anyway, as he still disliked her. A little.
And the arranged marriage was agreed to without even a formal reply letter. Weird.
Then there was news that Exarch Hrodgar made his wife his Spymaster. A interesting piece of news.
Then in May she was brought even more news of great interest. Count Theophanes presented her with evidence that Bhikkhu Akakios was plotting treason against her.
She had a couple of problems with that. The Count was a trouble maker who she didn’t trust. Also the Bhikku in question had a VERY high opinion of her. So she kept the information to herself.
Then she received some bad news. Seems Duke Jau Jinshan had sent his Magistros to usurp one of her titles. How DARE he! Just because she was trying to claim some of HIS holdings. She, of course, ordered the Bhikkhu to be killed.
And it worked. The foreign agent was dead and no one had a clue who had ordered his murder. Wonderful!
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Thank you for the update. How big is Lanka and how close kin are Simonis and the Maharaja? Heirs with seven fingers and three toes do not get high prestige. Who cares whether the marriage was matri or patri? The magistros should not have stopped at an inn in your lands.
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The two are far enough in the family tree so not to cause any inbreeding. Lanka isn't that big. Just the island from what I could tell.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-One : I’m Innocent I Tell You!
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-One : I’m Innocent I Tell You!
This chapter opens on late May, of the year 951 AD, with the Empress getting some bad news. And also, at the same time, embarrassing news.
You see the man she just had killed also happened to be a acquaintance of hers. And, of course, the news was he had died of suspicious circumstances.
“Oh no!” she exclaimed on hearing the news. “He was the best of us. Why Buddha WHY! Why couldn’t it been me!“
The Imperial Court stopped what they were doing and stared at her. Seems her reaction was a little over top and they were wondering about that.
“Eh..bring me booze!”
That seemed to make them less suspicious of her and they went back to doing their duties.
“Whew…”
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Thank you for the update. Beer, whiskey, gin and rum; but please no wine. When Magistros get caught poking their noses in the wrong place, it is suspicious circumstances. When Mystikos get caught poking their noses in the wrong place, it is a justifiable murder.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Two : More News And Match Making
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Two : More News And Match Making
This chapter opens in late May, of the year 951 AD, with the Empress digging into the records of the Jau Duchy.
The young Duke Jau Jinshan of the Jau Duchy was under the control of the Great King Parakkirama of Tamilakam. In other words the Duchy was a Tributary State the Great King.
And it was doubtful the boy was happy about this. As the Great King had killed the boy’s father. At least the old Duke died in combat and wasn’t burnt at the stake. Eww…
The Empress, in June, decided to give 100 gold coins to charity. This pleased the Savaka-Sangha.
In June she also noticed that Exarchessa Sundari of the Patola Sahi Kingdom was without a husband. Match making time!
One of the reasons the Empress wanted to match the Exarchessa up with somebody was to join her to the Imperial Dynasty. But also because the Heir of the Patola Sahi Kingdom was the Exarchessa’s dull brother. Who also had a clubfoot.
The Empress decided to suggest to the Exarchessa that she marry Theocharistos of the House Dysnomia. A Courtier of Maurya. He was brave and brawny. And a giant. What woman wouldn’t want to marry him?
By July the Exarchessa agreed with a well mannered reply letter.
So, of course, Theocharistos left the Imperial Court to move in with his new wife.
The Empress was pleased. Too bad she would soon be very pissed….
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Thank you for the update. Did someone break into your liquor cabinet?
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No, that's not why the Empress will become pissed off.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Three : Why Lanka? WHY!
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Three : Why Lanka? WHY!
This chapter opens in early July, of the year 951 AD, with the Empress receiving really annoying news.
Seems the future marriage was off again. And the Non-Aggression Pact between Nandamitta of House Dysnomia and Zuqi of the House Bei was canceled.
The Empress sent another request to the young King to get in a arranged marriage, a Matrilineal one of course, with her Granddaughter Simonis.
Then sent him a gift. And sent his Regent a gift.
And when I say gift I mean hard cold coins. A nice gift. Okay, it was a bribe.
It worked, The two were betrothed.
And then in September they were not. The Empress was pissed and drank a few bottles of beer.
But then an idea hit her, What if she sent the proposal a few days before the boy turned 16? That might work as long as the Great King didn’t agree to a arranged marriage in the next four or so years. That was the problem. There was likely going to be somebody wishing to marry the boy into their family.
She grumbled. She wanted to join the two branches of the Imperial Family. She didn’t want to have to invade the island to do it. That would waste men and be rude.
Marriage was the best way. But why did it keep getting canceled? Who was doing that? And why?
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Thank you for the update. The boy wants to keep his name, take your money and gain access to your liquor cabinet. Just do a regular marriage. Dysnomia-Dysnomia is still Dysnomia no matter whether first Dysnomia is masculine or feminine. Your heir will live with him until you croak.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Four : PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Four : PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!
This chapter opens in early October, of the year 951 AD, with the bored, and slightly grumpy, Empress needing an outlet.
She was told that stabbing people who pissed her off would likely cause her some problems with her Vassals. So she declared a party and sent out invites.
As she waited for the replies she decided that the traditional gift she would be giving her husband during the autumn feast would be a cape. Everybody loved capes.
Then it turned out that three guests were turning down their invitations. This upset her even more. Yet…it also meant the trouble makers would not be making trouble at her party. Which was a good thing. And those who turned down the invites were well known as being trouble makers. So it wasn't really much of a shock.
Soon the Castle was ready. The rooms decorated, the food piled high, the drinks selected and chilled, and the entertainment hired.
Soon the guests started to arrive and the Empress decided to try to relax and enjoy herself.
Little did she know…
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Another recycled cape for hubs! Hopefully, she has a good dry-cleaning service on retainer. How old is the Empress? It seems that she has been in charge forever, but she still has a youthful portrait (below 50). Thank you for the update.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Five : Don’t Spoil The Party!
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Five : Don’t Spoil The Party!
As the Empress tried to enjoy her time with her guests and her many glasses of wine she started to get letters. Letters were not as tasty of roast pig or fried fish in curry but she decided to open and read them anyway.
The first was from Sotapanna Akakios. Asking if the Empress wanted to learn more about his new variant of rose. She didn’t want to offend him and replied that she would send someone to collect a few.
Then she got a letter from the Head of her Order. He asked her to seclude herself and think about the universe and her place in it.
“What horrible timing!” she proclaimed after reading it. “Right in the middle of a feast!”
Of course she declined.
Soon it was time for the exchange of gifts. Her husband seemed pleased with his new cape. Though she had the impression his opinion of her was not very high.
Then the high point of the feast came with the Darkest Night of the Diwali. Candles and lamps were lit and guests were given rich food and chilled drinks to enjoy as they celebrated light over dark, hope over fear, and good over evil.
Finally the party came to an end. As the guests left, many carrying leftovers in napkins, the Empress was pleased. It had not been a bad party. No monkey attacks was always a good thing.
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Hubs likes recycled capes or is too scared to object. The Exarch will quickly fix his holdings. Thank you for the update.
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Six : So Many Problems
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Six : So Many Problems
This chapter opens in late November, of the year 951 AD, with the Empress in a somewhat good mood after the party. She won’t be in a good mood for long.
The list of Known Plots was pretty long. None of them were directed towards her. At least, not the KNOWN plots. Still, it annoyed her no end to see so many people plotting against each other. Some of them even members of the Imperial House.
Then there were the Threats to her Titles. People who were powerful enough, just by themselves, that they could to cause issues if they ever raised arms against her.
One of them a member of the Council! Why can’t her Vassals behave?
Then there was those who joined together into Factions. They became even MORE powerful by joining up together for a “Cause”.
Once again one of them was her Spymaster! And one was a member of the Dynasty! Why can’t her family behave?
Then many of the Buddhist Leaders didn’t seem to have a high opinion of her. That hurt. She had always been a good Buddhist. Well, she had always TRIED to be a good Buddhist.
They still liked her. But they didn’t love her. They needed to love her!
And then, on the Imperial Council, was her Spymaster.
He didn’t like her as much as he should. He was in a important, and powerful, position and Spymasters NEEDED to be VERY loyal to their Lieges. To have one who just kind of liked her could prove dangerous in the long run. On top of that he was a Leader of one of the Factions AND a Threat to her rule!
On top of that her husband barely liked her. How rude!
All these people who distrusted her or plotted against her or didn’t love her made her very upset. And forced her to drink. Well, drink more.
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Treasurer Hubs is a useless waste of space. He is not that good at job (9) and does not like her that much (12). Thanks
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Crusader Kings 2 - The Road of Queens
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Seven : Whiny Husband
Chapter One Thousand-One-Hundred-Twenty-Seven : Whiny Husband
This chapter opens in late November, of the year 951 AD, with the Empress getting a gift. In a way.
She had received the roses from Bhikkhu Akakios of Durjaya. She was pleased because it added greatly to the beauty of her own garden, gave her some more Prestige, and even made the Bhikkhu happy with her.
Then there was the Exarch Danujmadhava who was also her Spymaster. He wasn’t very happy with his Empress.
So she sent him a large purse of coins. And that worked!
Also it was now time to replace the Sakellarios with somebody skilled and loyal. Unlike her husband.
The best choice was on the top of the list of those available for the job. Exarchessa of Bengal. Sundari was skilled, loyal, and WANTED the job. So she was given it and quickly went to work helping run the Empire.
And her husband wasn’t happy at being fired. Such a whiny man.
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Hubs needs to chill or he could receive another brand that will have him singing the blues on the street corner with Willie Johnson. Thank you for the update.
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