Brian
Tallaght, Ireland
June 1081
His last words hung between them. The Ri Tuath-
No, Donnchad he corrected himself- was staring at him with a thoughtful look. He began to nod slowly and said, "Forgive me, of course you must. The transition to life in a monastery is not an easy one."
Brian pondered that response as they resumed walking toward the main courtyard and observed, "You speak as if from first hand experience."
Donnchad laughed and replied, "Indeed I do. My Father sent me here to Tallaght when I was a child."
This came as a surprise to Brian. They seemed to be almost of the same age, so he must have come to the monastery at around the same time as he himself had. Yet, try as he might, he could call up no memory Donnchad from years past. When he said as much, Donnchad began rubbing his chin and said, "I can't imagine any reason why you would remember me. I kept to myself and was only here for a short time before my Father sent for me to return home."
Brian had to fight down an intense feeling of jealousy at the other man's words. Donnchad's Father had called his son home. His own, by contrast, had left him here and had probably already forgotten that he had a second son. There was an anger and bitterness there that he could not let go, no matter how hard he tried. He tried to take pleasure in a life devoted to God, but the rage he felt at having that life forced on him prevented it. Not wanting to dwell on any of that now, he attempted to change the subject by asking, "When will you be departing the monastery?"
"Tonight. Assuming, that is, that my men have not drunk too much to be able to ride."
Brian smiled at the first part of the response. Though he and the other monks at Tallaght Monastery were not permitted to drink alcohol, beer was still brewed here for the consumption of the monastery's guests. Though he did not know from personal experience, the monastery's brewmaster was said to very skilled and his beer was highly praised. The brewmaster was also the only monk at Tallaght who was permitted to consume alcohol as he had to sample his wares to ensure quality. Not surprisingly, there was a long line of monks waiting for the old man to go to his heavenly reward so as to take his place. To Donnchad he said, "I'm sure that you and your escort are welcome to stay the night in any case."
"No doubt.", replied Donnchad. "However, I would prefer to spend the night with the army."
Brian gave Donnchad an approving look. You do not meet many noblemen who would prefer sleeping in the open to sleeping in a comfortable room. He asked, "Will you and the army continue on in the morning?"
Donnchad nodded and replied, "Yes. We will march for Dublin at first light."
Brian was confused by the answer. Leinster's enemies were in Mide and Ulaid, so why would he take the army to Dublin? Perhaps sensing this confusion, Donnchad continued, "My Uncle is sailing for Dublin from the Isle of Man with his own forces. I will join his strength to my own before I march against the enemy."
The two had by now reached the courtyard. It appeared that Donnchad's men had shown restraint in terms of their drinking as they were already assembled and leading their horses from the stable. Donnchad turned to him and said, "It seems time to part ways, Brian. I thank you for accompanying me."
Brian waved his thanks away and replied, "It was my pleasure. My prayers will go with you."
Donnchad smiled and clapped him on the shoulder before turning and striding away. As Brian looked on, he mounted his horse and rode out of the courtyard with his escort trailing behind. Brian found himself with an undeniable feeling of envy as he watched the riders vanish into the night. Those were men who had the ability to make of their lives what they wanted. How liberating it must be to have such free will. He shook his head as if to clear it of such thoughts and began walking back to his quarters.
He wasn't sure what time it was when he returned to his room, but he guessed that it was nearing midnight. That meant that he only had a short time before Matins would be called. There would be no sense in going to sleep now, so he lit a candle and sat down on his mattress. It was not long before his thoughts turned to the army camped nearby. He wondered what it must be like to be a soldier. To go willingly toward an uncertain future, not knowing if you would live or die. To him it seemed far more exciting than the boring and repetitive existence he faced here. As a young child in the carefree days before his parents gave him to the monastery, he had thrilled to the stories of Ireland's great heroes, of battles won and lost. He had dreamed of taking to the battlefield and winning undying glory. A child's dreams. Crushed in the instant that his parents cast him aside.
He got up from the mattress and looked around him. The candlelight revealed a room unchanged since the day that he had first set foot in it over eight years ago. This was not the sort of life that he had wanted. He truly believed that to devote your whole life to God was a noble thing- if you chose to do so. To be compelled into such a life, however, was wrong and it was not fair that he should be forced to live his whole life in this place because of a decision that his parents had made for him. A very familiar feeling of bitterness and anger began to seize him. In an instant he made a decision. He pulled off his robe and stuffed it into the bureau. Wearing only a plain tunic, he stepped out of his room and into the dark hall outside.
All was quiet as he crept down the hall. The other brothers would be sleeping, catching those few precious hours of rest before the day began anew. He saw no one and faced no challenges as he slipped outside and stole across the courtyard. With a last look behind him, he headed into the night and left the monastery behind. Ahead of him lay the flickering campfires of Donnchad's army and a new life.
