I like your former chancellor-turned-Archbishop. There's a certain Rasputinesque quality to him, bar the actual intriguing Rasputin himself was capable of.
And poor Eudokia. I guess she better squeeze out a few kids, pronto, if she wants to have a life of her own.
Good luck finding some minor sheikdom to beat up on. Wouldn't be much of a story if Andronikos' successor was from a different family, now.
He's was my steward actually not my chancellor. And we definitely haven't seen the last of him.
Katapan of Crete 1068
February 2nd 1066: Paliani monastery in Crete
Leon Kataphloros stood inside Paliani monastery; a place that was full of nuns, the greatest desire of his unclean heart. In order to ever gain access to its younger novice members he would first have to seduce the abbess of the place. The time and trouble would after-all be well worth it, here were women whose chastity was enforced, kept in strict isolation from nearly all contact with men their lusts must burn within them forever unsatiated. But caged for so long what wild fury would be unleashed by the man that set the flesh free from all the rigours of chastity?
Selene Marianna was her name. She was definitely beautiful but also definitely not young; but then again neither was he. There remained one problem though, how he was to seduce a woman so guarded? But then again greek women were usually guarded so he was somewhat an expert already.
Other questions remained, should he attempt to squirrel her away somehow or take her within earshot of the lesser nuns; the former course would make it easier to actually get to the point of sexual relations but the latter course might help undermine the discipline of the lesser nuns and make conquering them easier. If he failed he would try again in another convent on Crete or if necessary then beyond. Being a bishop had its advantages.
________________________________________________________________________
February 3rd 1068: Paliani monastery in Crete
Abbess Selene had given herself to him indeed and in surprisingly short a time. His only regret (aside from his being a reprobate sinner) was that she had chosen to squirrel him away into a cold dark storage cellar lit by only a single small candle thrown hastily on a barrel. But he'd been in worse places before and well the passion she showed was beyond this world. It rekindled the feelings of his youth, back when even the fake passion of prostitutes was exciting. But now she was crying.
"I am.... I was a virgin dedicated to the Holy Virgin and to Christ and now what have I become?" she wailed.
"My love you are Selene Marianna and that is also who you are," Leon Kataphloros.
"I have sinned!" she cried out.
"So have I? If you feel so guilty you can confess to me; another sinner and none save God will ever know," Leon responds.
"But what about you?" Selene answers.
"I will confess to my childhood friend whose exploits probably exceed my own and I promise you that I will mention neither your rank, nor your name nor the monastery you belong too," Leon explains quite honestly.
"But I am a virgin consecrated to God Leon; a virgin consecrated to god!" Selena sobs.
Leon gulps and leaves her to sob for a while.
"And why can you not still be a virgin consecrated to God, have you not ever indulged yourself..... with any of the women in this monastery for instance," Leon suggests.
"Of course not! We threw Zoe and Eudokia into the dungeons a week ago to live on a diet of water for such misdeeds! They are still there!" Selene answers angrily.
"How about indulging yourself in an
incomplete manner with any priests or male pilgrims that visited here?" Leon asks.
"No! You are the first!" Selene shouts.
"Very well. How about with
yourself," Leon finishes.
Selene blushes.
"So if you are a virgin only because God has forgiven you then why can you not still be a virgin?" Leon asks.
"But that's different!" Selene protests.
"Is it? Do you think that God cares so much for a small piece of skin? It's not even like I even spent that much time inside you; you're too old to conceive but old habits do die hard," Leon argues.
"I," Selene stammers.
"You see Selene, all sins must reach completion; man is by nature a sinner and that nature must reach its completion before he can ever be absolved," Leon explains.
"Absolve me Leon!" Selene begs.
"If you allow me to stay and perform mass for a week then I will absolve you of all your sins," Leon responds.
"You are a demon! Begone forever from this place! I don't care that you bear the robes of an arch-bishop, this is my monastery," Selene screams.
"Did you not listen, all sins must be completed and you were to be only the first," Leon replies calmly.
"All sins must be completed! According to whom, the Devil? I will not let you touch my sisters!" Selene shouts.
"But I am the Archbishop of Crete," Leon responds.
"And I am the Abbess of this monastery; so begone from this place!" Selene finishes.
Leon Kataphlorus left feeling guiltier that ever had been in life. But this was what he had intended. His guilt mixed with his sense of triumph in a heady and intoxicating brew for he had achieved the thing that he had dreamt of for many months.
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The prospect of rendering Crete hereditery raises it's head
February 12th 1068: Governer's Palace in Chandax
Eudokia Glykys felt the kicking of her baby within her once again and began to wonder. What if the baby were a boy, what kind of future would he have? He would look up to his father in wonder but yet he could never become like his father. In time Andronikos would die and Isaakios Paraspodylus his wife Aglaya and their children would take their place. She wouldn't let that happen, wouldn't let those Paraspodylus wretches from Kaneia with their shabby clothes and unkempt appearance rise at the expense of
her son.
She had to something and for that she had called a private meeting with Mysticos Konstantios Phokas and Postal Logothete Athenagoras in one of the back rooms.
"Athenagoras, are all the Katepans in Romania disposed of purely at the leisure of the Imperial Prefect or are some hereditery in any sense?" Eudokia Glykys asks.
"Yes while most are common property of the Roman Empire as a whole, quite a few are the common property of a particular family to be passed down to an heir of the Prefect's choice and it is also
possible I think it was done recently but I'm not quite sure for a Katepan to be made a private property of an individual to be passed down like any ordinery piece of property," Athenagoras explains.
"So that would mean that it would pass down to sons and if there are no sons to the grandsons including those of daughters," Eudokia responds.
"Yes," Athenagoras responds.
"So how do I go about making Crete, no sorry the position of Crete's Katapano Andronikos's private property?" Eudokia asks.
There is a pause as nobody has the answer.
"Well strictly speaking only the Basileus has that power, which means we are in luck; the Prefect has just died and a Phokas has been appointed to the position," Nikephorus Phokas eventually says.
"If the Prefect does not have the power how does it help that he is a Phokas?" Eudokia asks.
"Because Basileus Mikhail Doukas is so lazy and weak-willed he's practically a figurehead, all the Prefect must do is put the motion before him and it's as good as signed," Nikephorus explains.
"Good point Nikephorus," Eudokia laughs.
"It would require me to travel to Constantinople and pursuade my cousin the Prefect that this the best course of action," Nikephorus responds.
"And as you are Mysticos that would require Andronikos's permission; but why not just send him a letter?" Eudokia asks.
"It's not likely to work if some random letter turns up apparantly signed by some random cousin he's never met and besides I think I actually like Andronikos and don't want to go behind his back," Nikephorus explains.
"I see the problem," Eudokia concludes.
________________________________________________________________________
"Andronikos; Nikephorus, Athenagoras and I have found a way to see to it that our son will inherit Crete after me," Eudokia tells Andronikos.
"It doesn't something to do with corrupting some random official in the Imperial Court to pursuade Mikhail to make Crete a hereditary Katapan does it?" Andronikos responds sarcastically.
"Yes it does, although no money involved apparantly in the corrupting part," Eudokia replies.
"I take it that one of you, that would be Nikephorus Phokas because I'm not having you giving birth to my child on some ship and Athenagoras couldn't even pursuade the Basileus himself wishes to travel to Constantinople and wants my permission," Andronikos replies.
"Yes," Eudokia answers.
"So why should I make Crete hereditary at all?" Andronikos asks.
"Because of our son!" Eudokia insists.
"But will my son, if indeed I have any sons come to any harm? Thousands of children are born every year and most of them go on to live quite happy lives without ever having become Katapano of Crete," Andronikos replies.
"But Andronikos, if we do not change the rules then Issakios Paraspondylus will become Katapano," Eudokia insists.
"I'm well aware of this Eudokia but I do not understand the problem at all, how is Issakios Paraspondylus not suitable to govern Crete?" Andronikos answers.
"Because he's not our son," Eudokia answers.
"Hah! You are so selfish Eudokia, all you care about is *your* son; you'd rather trust in the skills of a child yet to born over a proven ruler!" Andronikos snaps.
"*Our* son, my husband!" Eudokia concludes angrily.
It was time to wait until Andronikos had finished dinner and then adopt a different approach.
"I can vouch from the time that I was employed there that Issakios Paraspondylus, well he's the exception to the rule, aside from myself of course the Kaneian Court is made up of incompetent imbeciles," Eudokia responds.
"But it's Issakios that will inherit me!" Andronikos replies.
"Issakios is no younger than you are, when he dies one of his imbecilic servants will inherit him and then inherit Crete, we don't want that do we? Kaneians are lazy and stupid hence why Kaneia is so much poorer than Chandax is," Eudokia explains cleverly.
"But aren't you Kaneian?" Andronikos responds as if confused.
"Only by a very small margin, I was born near the border," she replies cunningly.
"But that's not true is it? They can't all be lazy imbeciles since that's not possible," Andronikos responds.
"But it is true, ask your other servants Andronikos,"
"Yes Eudokia is right, the Kaneians are lazy imbeciles," the rest of the court responds in unison with the exception of Bishop Ioannikos Erotikos who disagreed.
"You see, with the Empire being like it is and with the likes of Mikhail Dukas as Basileus not only will they manage to get into power but even they will be able to do what what we have not so that there's generation after generation of Kaneian imbeciles governing Crete," Eudokia tells Andronikos.
"I'll consider sending Nikephorus to arrange a change to the succession rules," Andronikos concludes wearily.
Sweet was the scent of victory thought Eudokia.
________________________________________________________________________
Seemingly everyone gets a claim on the title of Crete!
March 5th 1068: Governer's Palace in Chandax
Ioannikos Paraspondylus was furious when he heard the news; his superior had just slammed the door in the face of all his hopes of advancement up the ladder of the Imperial Bureaucracy. He clenched his fist and frowned but what could he do? He couldn't rebel against the whole Roman Empire over such a matter? At least not at the moment he reminded himself.
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Andronikos becomes just on the same day Helene is born!
April 21st 1068: Governer's Palace in Chandax
Eudokia gazed upon her new baby and her heart sank when she noticed the abscence of a certain tiny strip of flesh between the legs. The baby was a girl, all that plotting and scheming on its behalf had been for nothing. She wondered whether her mother had felt the same way and her mother before her. And why did having babies have to hurt so much?
"Andronikos, why can't giving birth to babies be more like conceiving them?" she asked her husband.
"Because when Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit; so cursing the whole world together with all future generations she was punished by having to bear her children in great pain and with being forced to obey the very husband she yearns for; did you ever listen in Church Eudokia?" Andronikos replies.
"Wasn't Adam punished too?" Eudokia asks.
"Indeed Adam was punished by having to work hard as well as by his dying and becoming dust," Andronikos answers.
"But women die too even while in the process of giving birth and have to work hard as well," Eudokia points out.
"True," Andronikos replies.
"And wasn't the snake punished by having to crawl around on its belly as a well snake, but given it is still able to move around, climb and jump about like all the other animals; it isn't much of a punishment," Eudokia complained.
"Snakes die and become dust also Eudokia; but additionally they also have to eat the dust when they are alive, another punishment," Andronikos points out.
"But that means that while Adam and the Snake got two punishments each, Eve gets four punishments; but how is that just?" Eudokia asks Eudokia.
"Eudokia remember to tell no-one about what I am going to tell you," Andronikos replies.
"If we are being punished then this is a place of punishment and confinement, the jailer or the punishments may be just or unjust but the complaints of the prisoners are worthless; for to rebel is impossible as long as we remain trapped and prisons are so built that none may escape from within them. If there is any hope of rebellion at all it will be after we are dead, once the jailer has set us free of his prison he may perhaps be rebelled against but until then we must do whatever he demands of us," Andronikos tells Eudokia quietly.
"Can the living do anything?" Eudokia asks.
"We can thwart the jailer in only one way, he has not himself commanded us to be unjust for he believes that his own injustice *is* justice, thus we can only thwart him by being as just as possible in our treatment of our fellow prisoners," Andronikos continues.
"Surely there must be another way?" Eudokia asks.
"Is there any other way for us at the moment than to pay 2000 soldari a month to the Basileus of Constantinople who has never given us a soldari back?" Andronikos asks.
"No there isn't," Eudokia concludes.
"Then sleep Eudokia, sleep baby Helene; sleep and forget everything I have told you," Andronikos finishes.
But those bitter words whispered in the darkness before he slept were to have a far larger effect than he knew then.
________________________________________________________________________
A risky opportunity presents itself
June 28th 1068: Governer's Palace in Chandax
A door opens, it was Strategos Aniketos Alousinos. Andronikos sat up on the couch and addressed him.
"Why do you disturb me Aniketos?" he asks.
"We have an opportunity, a risky opportunity but one regardless," Aniketos replies.
"Does it has to do with war?" Andronikos asks..
"No suprisingly it doesn't, the rotten frame of a ship from long ago has appeared near the shore of Crete," Aniketos explains.
"Why does this matter?" Andronikos responds.
"From the trinkets washed up on the shore we know that the ship is most likely full of treasure," Aniketos responds excitedly.
"Excellent! Send out servants to retrieve the treasure?" Andronikos says rubbing his hands together.
"There is a problem, we cannot know we have retrieved all the treasure for the State unless someone goes down there and obviously everyone has a financial incentive to lie pretending that there is no treasure down there when there is," Aniketos explains.
"Except me," Andronikos responds.
Andronikos Petraphilas had a decision to make. The ship was rotten, rotten things as ever doctor knew caused disease and diseases cause death. So the decision was not a small one, they would not let him drown but they couldn't save him from sickness. But what if the treasure in the ship was worth thousands of solidari, tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands? He could be replaced, one was one's man life to the great things that could be done on Crete with such wealth?
________________________________________________________________________
His servants had already hauled great wealth from the hold of the ancient ship. It lay in a small mountain near the edge of the beach where unkempt looking men stood guard warily. Evening was approaching, there was not much time left before it got too dark. So he stripped off the clothes from his pudgy form, took a deep breath and dived into the water to confirm his servants reports that all the treasure had been gathered up. His decision had been made.
The salty water stung his eyes but yet he persevered, the ship was beautiful in it's ruined state, the rotting wooden beams parted to reveal holes- gaps through which he could see into the ship. His servants had already made the holes bigger by their attempts to force passage within. But the holes were too small for him to swim through, so he peered through them and scanned the cargo hold of the ship. It was empty.
His lungs were beginning to burn from lack of air and he kicked himself upwards towards the surface. He emerged gasping for air and climbed back onto the boat.
"It is empty!" he declares.
The men cheer.
________________________________________________________________________
Andronikos had never believes he would ever do that. But then again a few years ago he would never have believed that he would be married and have a baby daughter. He was changing, for the better or for the worse he did not know. His wife lay before him with a smile on her face.
"A consortium of merchants have bought the treasure we have hauled from that ship for 200,000 soldari," Eudokia announces.
"What! That's a lot of money," he replies.
"Yes it is!" she says hopping up and down.
"But we're not just going to hoard it, just how can we can best spend it in order to benefit Crete?" he asks Eudokia.
"We are going to spend it on mines!" Eudokia announces.
"Is there anything worth mining in Crete? And why mines?" Andronikos asks.
"There's always something; mines add a fixed quantity of soldari to the treasury while other developments only add a proportional % increase to total revenue," Eudokia explains.
"Do further improvements add a % increase including the value added by the mine?" Andronikos.
"I actually don't know the answer; if this is so then mines are an even better improvement," Eudokia answers.
"Mines it is then,"
________________________________________________________________________
July 11th 1068: Governer's Palace in Chandax
Andronikos is wrong! Eudokia thought furiously.
You do not resist the unjust world by being just in response, you take whatever you want from those who are privileged above you!
All her life she had been denied real power, forced to live through others, to tirelessly and thanklessly serve them when she could easily have ruled in their place! First her brothers, then Issakios Paraspondylus and now her 'dear' husband Andronikos.
No there was only one way she knew to right the wrongs of the world, she would take whatever she wanted for the rest of her life, right and justice be damned! She owed the world nothing for it had given *her* nothing but servitude to a slave who did not even desire freedom!
It was then that Eudokia devoted herself fully to the service of herself and cast off the shackles of justice that had before restrained her.
________________________________________________________________________
Leon Kataphloros does a moral U-Turn
August 20th 1068: Bishop's Palace in Chandax
Leon Kataphloros slept and as he slept he dreamt. He was back home, back at the mansion he had lived in as a boy, back on the balcony of his old room. Behind him he hears a voice. He does not dare turn around and face the voice.
"Wicked man, know that if it were not for the prayers of your wife you would be down there," the voice tells him.
In an instant the familiar scenery of his childhood was transformed into an endless sea of lava extending as far as the eye could see; hell had been shown to him.
"No that is not hell, if I actually showed you hell you be would be dead in an instant; this is merely the clothing that hell wears," the voice tells him.
"You said my wife prayed for me, but I have no wife," he asks confused.
"That is not so," the voice answers.
"Selene Marianna; but I never married her and we both took vows of celibacy!" he protests.
"I am free to marry whomsoever I wish and your oaths are made to me,"
"But if you married me to Selene then does that not mean?" Leon asks fearfully.
"That when you united with her that day you did not sin against me at all," the voice finishes.
"No! That cannot be!" Leon cried out.
He was cheated, cheated of the ultimate forgiveness which he was due for the very ultimate sin he had sought to commit. He was foolish indeed he realised, not only could God forgive sins but he was also the judge of sins.
"No Leon, only men can forgive sins against men," the voice answers.
"But did you not become man in Jesus Christ?" Leon protests.
"Go now sinner, awaken, devote your life to me sell your luxuries, give to the poor and reveal not this vision lest it fall into the hands of my more 'jealous' servants," the voice commands not answering his question.
"What about Selena, my wife?" he asks.
"She is no longer you wife, she passed away many days ago," the voice answers.
He wakes up.
________________________________________________________________________
Leon Kataphloros officially ceases to be himself
September 4th 1068: Chandax
Since his vision he had devoted himself to perform as the voice had commanded, he sold the many vanities that cluttered the Bishop's palace and sent his servants to roam the streets looking for beggars, thieves, vagrants and robbers to give the proceeds to. He had sold his collection of wines and done likewise with them.
But he had failed. Shortly after his vision his old lustful habits had resurfaced and he had soon returned to his familiar haunt, the brothel drawn by its irresistible supply of young fresh female flesh.
And now he was to return. Bitterly and shorn of his clerical garb he walked the familiar routes that he had travelled so many times before. He was almost at the doors of the brothel, a few minutes of sinful indulgence and he could return to his holy duties he told himself.
He reached for the money with which he was to pay for these women's services. He then saw a beggar in the street on the opposite side of the street and walked towards him, trembling he handed over the money to the beggar whose eyes lit up at the fortune given to him.
He had deprived himself of the money to fund his sins, he had given even that away; he finally had his victory for there was nowhere left for his sins to hide. God's Grace had prevailed within him.
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Andronikos finds out about how Leon's new holiness has a price tag
October 26th 1068: Governer's Palace in Chandax
Andronikos had heard of Leon Kataphloros's new sanctity, about how he had taken to preaching daily in one of the churches in Chandax or even sometimes in the market squares. He was suspicious, why had he suddenly discovered such energy for his religious duties?
And now Leon Kataphloros had arrived in the palace and Andronikos wondered what it could be about, as his energy for his faith had diminished he spent less and less time in the Governer's Palace.
"My lord Andronikos, I ask that you contribute some of the wealth that God has delivered unto us, that I may travel throughout Crete spreading the word of God," Leon demands.
"Just how much wealth are we talking about here?" Andronikos asks.
"One quarter of the wealth that God has delivered unto us," Leon answers.
"That's 50,000 soldari, one could maintain the whole army of Crete for at least a year on that amount!"
"Well expenses add up do they not?" Leon protests.
"So tell me
man of God when Christ travelled through Palestine did he do so with 50,000 soldari?" Andronikos responds angrily.
"But the wealth was given to us by God!" Leon protests.
"It was given to Crete by God that she may prosper, it was not given that it may flatter your vanity nor for you to hand it out to whatever vagrants happen to be lucky enough to pass your way!" Andronikos argues.
"How dare you!" Leon shouts out.
"Recite my name and my title bishop!" Andronikos responds angrily.
"You are Andronikos Petraliphas, Katepano of Crete," Leon replies fearfully.
"And who do I represent?" Andronikos continues.
"The Basileos my lord," Leon replies.
"And who does the Basileos represent?"
"God my lord," Leon answers.
"The answer is no, I'm not giving you a single coin," Andronikos responds viciously.
Leon storms out and slams the door loudly behind him.
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November 23rd 1068: Governer's Palace in Chandax
Bishop of Chandax Ioannikos Erotikos was frustrated. Once he had actually mattered somewhat, with the swift rise of his superior Archbishop Leon Kataphloros to something resembling a living saint he was becoming sidelined and increasingly bored. He didn't hate Leon but he had a strong nagging feeling that he was needed someplace else.
Croatia perhaps. Andronikos had told him that the Croatians were Latins (he knew that much) and also that they were barbarians who unlike Bulgarians didn't even make a pretence of being civilized. But that was okay perhaps, he was getting increasingly sick of the stench of civilization, particularly greek civilization anyway.