Part I - Tyrion
"Tell me, Lord Slynt, when your men slaughtered Ned Stark's men in the throne room, did you give the orders?"
"I did, my lord," Slynt replied. "And I would do it again. You know the traitor tried to buy my loyalty."
Tyrion took a sip of wine. "A fool, that Lord Stark. He should have known that you had already been bought."
Lord Janos put down his fork. "Are you questioning my honor, Imp?"
"Of course not, my lord. I cannot question what does not exist."
"I will not stand here and be insulted by you, dwarf!" Janos seethed. "Lord Baelish will here of this! Your sister will here of this!" Seeting with anger, he grabbed Tyrion's goblet and emptied it over his head, before throwing it at the wall.
Tyrion sighed; this was going about as well as he had feared. "No, my lord, you will not stand here and insult me." Behind the Lord of Harrenhal, two hidden doors opened - thanks to Varys's help, of course - revealing Bronn and Ser Jacelyn Bywater. "I intend to serve as Hand of the King for quite some time, Slynt, and considering the unfortunate fates of the last two Hands, some changes need to be made. And seeing as you betrayed the last Hand, well, I just would not feel safe with you around." Bronn and Ser Jacelyn grabbed him from behind, and started leading him to the door. "Say hello to Bronn, the King's new Master-of-Arms, and Jacelyn Bywater, the new Commander of the Gold Cloaks. As you know, King's Landing is very dangerous at night, so they will escort you to the docks. There's a ship leaving for Eastwatch-by-the-Sea on the morrow - the Wall looks very beautiful at this time of year."
As Bronn pushed him out the door, Janos yelled. "Joffrey will hear about this!" Beyond that, Tyrion heard no more, as the walls muffled the noise.
After several minutes passed, the door opened. "Ser, Lord Littlefinger, I mean, Lord Baelish, is here to see you."
"Send him in."
The master of coin entered, clearly annoyed. "I hear that Lord Janos has been escorted from the Red Keep by armed guards, screaming for your head. What have you to say about that?"
Tyrion shrugged. "Nothing. As far as I understand, he simply decided that he would best serve the realm as a member of the Night's Watch."
"Do you take me for a fool? Lord Janos is craven and greedy, and would never take the black willingly. I see your play, Lord Tyrion, but it was not a winning move. All you did was put a man loyal to Varys in charge of the gold cloaks," Littlefinger responded."
"Who answers to the Master-of-Arms, who is my own. I am not Ned Stark; I know how the game is played, Lord Baelish." Tyrion picked up his cup. "Wine?"
"No thank you, my lord."
"More for me, then." Tyrion took a sip, then continued. "I take that your being here, and not on a spike in Highgarden, means that our mission has been a success." When Petyr nodded assent, he went on. "Now what is it that you offered Lord Tyrell? Certainly revenge for the death of his daughter's wife and son's lover was not enough. A seat on the council, I'm sure, but what else? Or rather, what marriage did you agree to?"
"Lady Margaery, Renly's unconsummated widow, to Joffrey." Silence hung in the air. "Of course, that means the wedding to the Stark girl..."
"Yes, yes, I know what that means," Tyrion snapped. "It will not look good, Joff setting her aside for another, although I am sure Lady Sansa would not be disappointed. It will take some work to convince my sister, but we need those swords."
"Very good, my lord Hand. I will have Maester Pycelle send a raven; expect the Tyrell girl within the fortnight, as well as Ser Loras, who wishes to join the Kingsguard. The armies of the Reach will be assembled and ready in time to engage Stannis's army before he sieges King's Landing."
"Excellent." That was one ally. "Now, a new request. How acquainted are you with Lysa Arryn?"
"Very, as you well know. What does that concern?"
"You have given us the Reach, Lord Baelish; now we need the Vale. I want you to use your influence with Lady Arryn to sway them to our side."
Baelish shook his head. "She will not betray her sister. I assure you, the best I can do will be to keep the armies of the Vale from leaving the Vale."
"Even just that is not a bad result. But you are mischievous man, Lord Baelish - you can make things work. There are plenty of unmarried lords and ladies in King's Landing who would be eager for an opportunity in the Eyrie."
The master of coin smiled. "Creating opportunities is my specialty, my good Hand. You will not be disappointed." And with that, he left.
Disappointed? Of course not. Littlefinger does not disappoint, even when he betrays you. Of course, to be betrayed, one has to trust, and unlike Ned Stark, Tyrion did not trust Petyr Baelish, which is why Tyrion preferred to keep him away from King's Landing as much as possible.
"That is a most wise decision, my lord. That man would burn all Westeros if he could be king of the ashes."
Of course Varys had been listening the entire time. "And you...everyone here in King's Landing has some sort of greater purpose, but you...you do not fight for family, and does a man cut have honor?"
Varys walked towards Tyrion. "As I told Ned Stark, I serve the realm, and no one else; somebody has to." He picked up a knife from the table. "A blacksmith in Lys forged this blade, which was bought by a Myrenese merchant for use at his daughter's wedding before being seized by the Iron Bank and sold at auction to a Westerosi knight to pay for the debt on a defaulted loan, where it was given as a gift to the Hand of the King and has been used by the office at dinner ever since."
"That is a wonderful story, Lord Varys, but I literally do not see the point of it."
"Every tool has its tale that makes it what it is. What are people but tools that breathe?" With that, he stabbed the knife into the table, then turned his focus back to Tyrion. "Bravo, I must say. The Master-at-Arms is your man. Lord Baelish and Janos Slynt are out of your way. But while you and Cersei split the small council, she still controls the Treasury, the stewards, and a spy network of her own. Of course, if Joffrey listens to anyone, it will be your sister, and never you. And when the Tyrell girl arrives...well, all my little birdies agree that she is an ambitious one, and will not be content as a pretty face standing next to Joffrey and having his babies, but means to be a force - or rather, the force - behind the throne."
Tyrion scratched his chin. "And she will find most blocking her way is the Queen Mother, which means she and I share a common foe in court. And as we have a vacancy on the council, let her act as Master of Laws and dispense the King's Justice - at the very least, she'll do it better than Joffrey," And if she follows in the reputation of her grandmother, she will make Joffrey too distracted to care.
"That is most prudent, my lord. And she may help you win Joffrey from her mother."
With that, a young squire burst into the room. "My lord Hand, a raven has arrived from Casterly Rock. Your father has been captured in battle by the usurper Stark, and his army is headed this way!"
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So, underneath my post, I will keep a tally of all the kings we have met (when they have declared themselves kings, of course.) Now, I will say now, for the name "War of the Nine Kings," this assumes that a king's heir, if the succession is direct, does not count as a new king, but if the heir must seize the throne later, it does.
And so far we have:
1. Joffrey Baratheon, King on the Iron Throne
2. Stannis Baratheon, Lord of the Stormlands
3. Renly Baratheon, Lord of the Stormlands (deceased)
4. Robb Stark, King in the North and of the Trident
5. Balon Greyjoy, King of the Iron Isles (invading the North)
That leaves us four more. Who are they? What are their motivations? And who should we trust (the answer is nobody, not even the POV characters, or me