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    Real Strategy Requires Cunning

Eric8344

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Hello all! As I'm sure you know, in the excellent Kaiserreich mod, China begins splintered into several smaller states. I wanted to do a AAR as one of the warlord states, with an aim to unify China, but I couldn't decide which warlord state to pick... so I've decided to do all of them :p ! I'm going to do short mini-AARs for every Chinese nation. My rules are as follows:

1. Tech team take-over is on. However, I need to wait a year to use stolen tech teams, to represent "indoctrination," "rehabilitation" etc; etc.

2. Mongolia, Tibet, Taiwan, and Korea do not need to be annexed but must at least be puppets.

3. No Syndicalist nations allowed in East Asia, unless I am Syndicalist, in which case all East Asia must be Syndicalist.

4. No National Populist nations allowed in East Asia. If I am National Populist, no democracies or left-wing dictatorships allowed in East Asia.

5. I must never back down from a war.

6. If I lose, I lose. No reloading, no cheating.

7. I can only declare war manually if there is no event chain for a war declaration, or if it is necessary for the AAR to continue e.g. Mongolia never declaring war on me in a Xibei San Ma game.

Now, which nation should I start with? I'm including Mongolia, Tibet, Korea, and Taiwan, though I will be saving Mongolia for last. Also, Taiwan would be the most ridiculous game ever :D . I'll check back here July 7th, probably around noon my time, to count up any votes.
 
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Gukpa

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Aog +1
 

Eric8344

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Results so far:

Qing- 1

Yunnan- 4

AOG- 2

I'm going to remove Korea from the list, unless for some reason there's popular demand for them, as 1. they are not culturally Chinese 2. they are not considered part of the China region and 3. a Korea game would play mostly like a Fengtien Republic game anyway, minus events.
 

KaiserWilhelmI

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Shining path for Yunnan!
 

Eric8344

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Nein: I'm conquer-er, uniting China for fun and to make an interesting story, not because it necessarily makes sense or is event-driven.

All voters: Thanks for voting!

Yunnan wins! I’ll do AOG next, and then we’ll vote for the one after that. Presenting, the grand opening of…


Yunnan: The Cloud Dragon Roars
Cabinet Meeting 1936




Tensions were high in the board room this morning- a heated debate had erupted between two certain key members of the cabinet:

On one side was the Cloud Dragon himself, Long Yun, Warlord of Yunnan and considered by his subjects as a Die-Hard Reformer.





On the other side was Liu Wenhui, the Armaments minister, who recommended building a strong fleet for Yunnan.





Seen above: a nation in desperate want of a navy.

“Yunnan can into space!” he declared. “First, Yunnan will into ocean!”

“Are you still on about this? We’re land-locked!”

“A navy is the pride of any nation! How can anyone take us seriously if we don’t even have a navy?”

“And where will we put this navy?

“We’ll send it to Germany to demand concessions from the imperialists, of course. We’ll see how they like it.”

“ :wacko: ... That’s not what I meant!”

“I don’t see what the problem is then.”

“ :angry: WE. ARE. LAND. LOCKED. SO. WE. CAN’T. BUILD. A. NAVY :angry: .”

“We are locked only by our imaginations.”

*sigh* “I’m tired of this argument. As you all know, we are here today because I want to transform Yunnan from a nebulous land of governor-generals and warlords, into a full-fledged nation. Eventually, we will unify China. The first step in this, Liu, is not to build a navy. Instead, we must implement my CMI plan- Centralize, Modernize, Industrialize. Liu, I promise you we will build the greatest navy ever seen, but first, I want you to get to work on my plan.”

“I must bow before the Cloud Dragon. I’ll get to work moving our economy towards more Central Planning. *He pulls out a pen and a notebook* Let’s see, we’ll just implement some price controls *here*, invest *here*, *here* and *here*, and…”

“Thank the heavens for gifting me a man like yourself, Liu :D ! Just keep your thoughts on my plan, and off your dreams of grand navies, and you’ll go down in history as one of the greats, I swear it.”

“… seize assets *here*- huh? Oh, well that’s very touching actually :eek:o . Thank you!”

“You are most welcome. As part of the Modernizing aspect of the plan, I want you to begin building a Headquarters for myself. This should give us an edge over all the other warlords.”

“I’ll get right on it!”



“Since we’re on the subject of our military, Lu Han, would you like to inform us on the state of Yunnan’s navy and airforce?”

“Both arms are nonexistent, and we don’t have the technology to build any. Why do you keep me around again?”

“I just enjoy wasting your time :happy: . Zhou Zhirou, foreign relations?”

“W-w-well, we do-do-don’t really have an-an-any. We are a w-w-warlord state af-after all. We are on r-r-r-reasonble terms with most of the other wa-wa-warlords. *Gulp* Ja-Ja-JAPAN HATES US THOUGH :eek: ! THEY HATE ALL OF US! THEY’LL INVADE ANYTIME WE SHOULD JUST LET THEM ANNEX US!”

“Oh, Zhou, must you be such an Apologetic Clerk? Ding Zhipan, how is internal security?”

“Well, I suspect Baoshan province may give us some trouble in the future. I don’t think it’ll be anything major though. Besides Baoshan, Yunnan stands firmly under- I mean, beside you.”

“Ah yes. Mi Zaiming, intelligence?”

“We have a rather limited spy network- I recommend expanding it.”

“Liu, make it so.”



“Consider it done.”

“Good. Mi, I want you to begin funding research into Construction Engineering immediately. This technology is vital for Yunnan’s future!”



“With this the foundation for a united China is underway! You are all dismissed now.”

-End Meeting-

• The next update will be put up this weekend, most likely.
• I'm hoping this will be more character-based than "The War is Not Lost!"
• Speaking of which, I may be putting up an update for that sometime in the next two weeks.
 

Dr.Livingstone

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Subscribed! Kaiserreich seems awfully popular these days...
 

Eric8344

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Aniknk: Thanks!

pafnus: We'll see- Yunnan is probably easier than, say, Tibet or the Mas, at least.

Dr.Livingstone: Kaiserreich is great for AARs- lots of different ways the game and story can go. It's very hard to tell a bad Kaiserreich story!


Jan 1 1936 – Jan 1 1937


“Uhhm, ex-excuse me, I tho-thought you may like to hear of events in *gulp* MONGOLIA!”

“Whatever is the problem, Zhou?” the Warlord spoke.



“They are taking advantage of the situation in Russia to prepare for war. They’ve laid claim to Inner Mongolia! Which is strange, given that it’s technically outside Mongolia, which ought to make it Outer Mong-”

“Ha! That’s all? I’m almost a little disappointed in Genghis’s self-proclaimed reincarnation. Keep me posted, please.”

Meanwhile, in Russia…

Gweetingth, men of Mothew Wuthia! Thankth all of you fow thuppowting Bolthhevithm at the pollth! I pwomithe all Wuthia, evewy man a Tthaw and a caw in evewy home! Now, applaud all of you, ow I will have you all thot fow tweathon!



Fuwthemowe, accuthationth that Wuthia wath wethponthible fow the Thyndicalithtth withing to powew in Poland ith, oth couwthe, widiculouth. I am thimply thocked- thocked, I tell you, thocked! - at thethe batheleth thuggethionth. We Wuthianth in no way wigged the electionth! It pleatheth me to heaw the Thenate laughing at the theer nonthenthe of the vewy idea!



Later…

“AHHHHHHH! WE’RE ALL GOING TO D-D-D-DIIIIIIEEEE!”



“Hmm, so the Khan and the Dalai Lama are in cahoots, hmm? Send the Mas my condolences, Zhou.”

“OOO-OOKAAAY! ALSO THE BAOSHAN WARLORDS ARE REVOLTING OH NOO!” *I am unable to take pictures of events for some reason*

Later…

“You had something for me, Mi?”

“No, I have something for you. Why are you talking to yourself?”

“That only works in English… which we’re speaking, for some reason, so I guess you got me.”

“Well of course I’ve got Mi. Anyway, I just wanted to inform you on our technology progress. Also, some of the Legation Cities’ new council members have some rather… unsavory backgrounds, according to my men. I’ll have them investigate a little more.”



Zhou Zhirou came rushing in.

“M-m-more bad news from Mongolia, sir!”

“Have they invaded?” Long Yun alarmingly asked.


*Forgot the screenshot*

“No, even worse- they haven’t! That must mean they want to invade us instead! I’ve al-already started drafting up terms of our surrender-”

“Zhou! Please, calm yourself! I must say, I’m deeply unimpressed with Mr. Sternberg. I doubt he could conquer us, even if he had a border- maybe he’s finally given up his delusions of grandeur. Now please leave me so I can return to overseeing my plans to unite China under my banner, by defeating the Qing, Japanese, and German Empires.”

Meanwhile in Russia…

Now, thome of you in the Thenate may dithagwee with my actionth, thaying I’m thetting up a left-wing dictatowthip. If you dithappwove, waithe youw hand! I will thend thome “tutowth” to youw hometh to educate you! No need to be thy now!



“My fiwtht act ath leadew of the Wuthian nation, ith to path an “Anti-Thpeech Impediment Act”! Thpeech impedimentth pwevent pwopew communication between the Pwoletawiat! All Wuthianth mutht leawn to thpeak wight, like mythelf!”

Later…

Some in Yunnan were beginning to question how long putting down the Baoshan warlords would take. Accusations were flying that Long Yun was deliberately drawing out the conflict for reasons unknown. When questioned why the conflict was lasting so long, Long Yun gave this cryptic answer: “LOL for the XPs.”



Later…

Japan, in a surprisingly benevolent move, grants Taiwan limited freedom. Perhaps, Long Yun muses, Zhou’s fear of the Japanese is as unfounded as most of his many, many other fears?



Korea too! Maybe the Japanese aren’t so bad after all!



Now that’s more like the scheming militarists we all know and love.



Apparently, the military was as concerned with Japan’s recent benevolence as Long was.

Later (Well, after Taiwan’s liberation, anyway)…

“Uhhm, e-e-ex-excuse me, General?”

“Yes Zhou?”



“I’ve already begun crossing out all references to Mongolia on the earlier treaty. But what should I replace it with? Qing Empire? China? Or maybe, His Royal H-”

“Hold that thought, Zhou. This is troubling news indeed, but we’ll meet this hurdle when it’s time. Curse that vile militarist, seeking to conquer all China! I must unite as much of China by force as possible before he can make his move.”

Later…

“Liu, have you been daydreaming of your precious navy again?”

“What? No of course not… what makes you say that?”

“One of your aides has informed me Yunnan has almost no energy or rare materials, and hasn’t for some time- and you were too busy looking at naval designs to solve this.”

“…”

“Fix it, now.”

“It’s all good. I’ve already arranged a deal with Austria- we’re trading them .1 tons of supplies, in exchange for .3 tons of coal and .1 tons of supplies.”



“They seriously agreed to that?”

“There might have been some drinking involved :D .”

Later…

“Hello again, Mi.”

“Why are you always talking to yourself whenever I drop by?”

“ :glare: Just give your report, please, Mi- Minister.”



“Very well. As you can see, our engineering techniques are approaching the 1930 standard. Our next line of research will be computation devices. My spies in the Legation Cities inform me the crime bosses made an offer the Yakuza they couldn’t refuse… but they did anyway.”

Later…

Long Yun finally gets his HQ!



Meanwhile, in the USA…

“What? I’m sorry, I can’t understand you :huh: .”



“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME :angry: ! Ohh, oh, you mean, “Jack Reed.” Sorry it’s just you have a speech impediment- :confused: whoa, whoa, okay okay I’m sowwy- sorry, you’re right it’s probably just a bad connection. Oh well thanks for the support, I agree, we Syndicalists need to stick together. We’ll need to keep in touch. Bye.”

Later…

Some in China favor a Manpower-based doctrine. Long Yun personally favored a Light Infantry focus- this will excel in China’s hills, mountains, and swamps. Besides, as a small warlord state, Yunnan does not really have mountains of men to spare.



In an interesting turn of events, the Legation City thugs successfully gain control over a large portion of the South China Coast- this proves the weakness of the German colonial government! Maybe, they will be the first target in Long Yun’s plans…



We’ll just need to find out next week!

-End Year-​

• I was debating between making Bukharin pronounce R’s as W’s, or S’s as Th’s. Then I decided to just go ahead and do both! The inspiration definitely came from Monty Python’s Life of Brian.
• Hopefully, Syndie Russia can give me a few B-plots.
• I’m not sure why, but I am unable to take pictures of events or the statistics page.
 

KaiserWilhelmI

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Well this was somewhat disappointing, no Mongol hordes in Muslim China? No rebellions in Japanese colonies? This should make your Mongolia campaign a bit more interesting.
 

Gukpa

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Can you add a Italian mafian member that escaped from Socialist Republic of Italy to be one of your advisors ?

(he must be very harsh is his decisions, like put down any revolt without any kind of complain)