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Jarlath Connor's declaration concerning the CPBG results

"The coverage of this election and the focus around small regional fascist factions rather than nation-wide movements shows that today in Britain, the capitalist class does not only hold political and economic power but also have a increasing control over the mass media of this country, and thus are able to affect the ideas of the people. The great magnates of this country have extensive holdings in the television. By using it in their own interests, those of a minority, it is made at the expense of the majority and democracy in Britain.

The SAfB is ready to use the popular mandate received by the electorate in this General Election to continue the struggle against the capitalist order, and fight the wishes of Labour to abandon the independence of Britain. This will happen together with the Labour Movement, regardless of what the capitalist establishment thinks of it."

- Jarlath Connor, General Secretary of the Communist Party of Great Britain, MP for Dagenham

Journalist: Jarlath Connor, given the Labour internal turmoil over the question of the EEC, are you ready to try to affect the governmental policies in this domain?

Connor: Unlike Monaghan and Marr, the elites of Labour, the CPBG has not abandoned the working people of Britain in this question. We will fight both inside and outside of Parliament against the entrance in the EEC, that was the choice of a minority to favour capitalism. All of those who believe in socialism in this country are welcome to join us in that fight.
 
((Private))

Election day. Maxwell Macpherson had always enjoyed making use of his democratic right to vote. However, as he got older, he found the whole process of going out to vote more and more tiresome. He just couldn't keep it up anymore. Back in his youth, he'd voted with much greater enthusiasm and far more regularly, sometimes even multiple times a day. Old age was a bitch.

Macpherson hobbled into the voting station, his body creaking with each movement. A polling attendant, a young woman he knew quite well after numerous voting sessions, guided him to her booth. He took up his ballot and wrote down his vote (Conservative, of course). His ballot though was an old and shrivelled thing, perhaps recycled from a previous election, and he found that the wrinkled piece of paper would not go into the ballot box. The attendant waited patiently for him to insert his ballot into her box's slit, but he could not get it in. Eventually she politely took it and started to work it in her hands, trying to make it stiff and hard so it'd slide easily into her ballot box. Where Macpherson had failed, the attendant had the magic fingers. Soon the ballot was firm and straight. With eagerness, Macpherson took it from her and inserted into the ballot box. The attendant seemed quite pleased.

Of course if Macpherson wanted in, he needed more votes. No one needed to know just how many he submitted. Thus he took up another ballet, fortunately one already hard and stiff, and slid it into the ballot box. Over and over again he inserted ballot after ballot into the box's slit. The attendant enjoyed Macpherson's approach to voting and moaned with delight with each ballot he shoved in her box. She could clearly appreciate a good Conservative platform.

This went on for some time, Macpherson losing count of how many votes he shoved in the attendant's ballot box. The excitement was rising, for it was completely unlike him to do something so scandalous and risque. What would his wife think if she saw him voting like this, inserting so many ballots in this young woman's ballot box? It was more than he could handle. A sharp pain suddenly flashed in his torso and Macpherson clutched at his chest. The polling attendant, off-put by the sudden end of ballots being cast, did not understand what was going on until it was too late. Macpherson collapsed to the floor. He would vote no more.

* * * * *

((Public))

Foreign Secretary Suffers Near-Fatal Heart Attack during Liaison with London Prostitute! Currently in Coma at Royal London Hospital!
 
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Monaghan residence, Glasgow

"Ack! Oh, God!" Alistair clutched at his throat as if he was choking on a bone.

"Dad!" yelled his daughter Cordelia, hearing the commotion. "Are you all right?"

"I'm...all right, I guess..." he replied. "Um, Cordy, could you be a dear and get your mum?"

---

"Alistair, what on earth is the matter?" asked his wife, Alice. "Too much whisky?"

"I...don't know what came over me, Alice...I just felt this wave of disgust creeping towards me...like a million showers could never make me clean." he replied.

"Do you need me to drive you to the hospital, love? You have a train to catch for Westminster in the morning."

"I'll...be fine...but Jesus Christ was that terrifying..."
 
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My Friends we have done it. Let this evening be one of celebration, for disregarding recent...unsavory revelations about the conduct of certain political figures, tonight the whole world views the triumph . While naysayers may quibble over the size of the majority that we have, I think we can all thank the outgoing foreign secretary for showing us that it's not size that counts, but what you do with it.

*Roars of laughter from the crowd*

Now, if you will permit me to speak a little longer before you return to your well earned celebrations, I would like to give you an idea of what the coming government will be like. It can be summed up in one word that I'm sure you are all heartily sick of by now, Radical.

*Good natured groans*

Yes, Radical. No more will Britain be trapped by the staid orthodoxies of later years, but move towards a bright, Socialist Dawn, arm in arm with each and every one of you.

*Sways a little*

I apologize if I seem a little excited about this, terribly non-British I'm sure, but as I'm sure you can all imagine this has been a rather stressful evening. Now, I believe that at this time it is traditional to sing an old, well worn song, which has recently been cruelly ill used by some malign elements in society, but still goes strong, an inspiration to us all.

The People's Flag is deepest red,
It shrouded oft our martyred dead

*After a couple of lines the crowd joins in, each in his or her own key.

While revelries at Dartford Labour Party Headquarters continue, Anderson slips into the back office to nurse a glass of Scotch by the telephone.*
 
The evening had been a nail biter, as the results only slowly came in. The prediction game had been particularly gruesome, since in the end, the Labour majority was only of about two seats, which, in Labour tradition, meant the party was to daggers in the back away from catastrophe. The Conservatives had fell short, confidently launching an early electoral campaign to bolster their mandate and pick on a Labour Party which was supposedly in disarray. The whole schemed had visibly backfired on Prime Minister Jacobs, which would now face the dreary prospect of tendering his resignation to the Crown.

For Lochlan, things had stayed relatively stable in Northern Ireland, which he always electorally dubbed "Old Reliable" in his calculations. He was listening to the results at a Ulster Unionist Party which fellow supporters who were invariably in good mood give the amount of the great black stuff being handed around. As usual, the BBC all but ignored the Province, which made knowing the exact results somewhat difficult. Relying on telephones from the various riding, it appeared that the Unionist grasp on Northern Ireland was protected, but clearer picture would be seen in the morning.

When the Labour majority was announced, Lochlan took to the rostrum and addressed the crowd.


"My fellow friends! We have fell short, but not by much. Tonight's results show a much divided nation, with conflicting aspiration. My first thoughts are for Prime Minister Jacobs, which led an honest government dedicated to the welfare of all Britons. I would like to thank him for his service. Likewise, I wish to extend my congratulations to our new Prime Minister, Alastair Monaghan. While the chasm of our differences remains, it is bridged by the manifest will of the people. I am sure that we, Ulster Unionists, will be a force for good in the next Parliament and I can assure you that we will work for you, as a loyal and constructive opposition."

Lots of cheers heard from the crowd.

"But that is for the national scene and the national scene is for tomorrow. Tonight, I wish to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for the trust you have placed in me. It is my great honour to be your voice in Westminster and you can be assured that with Lochlan Fitzpatrick, you will have someone close to you, honest and caring for your needs. Enough with speeches, let's celebrate the old and the new Parliament in the Irish way. Let's raise our glasses!"

He grabbed a pint and joined the merry moment.
 

Election Night Special, BBC1. December 1966.


‘… And, as is fast becoming a trend, we are joined now live on the phone from Cambridge by its newly-returned member of Parliament, Mr Parris Marr. Good evening, Mr Marr.’

‘Good evening, Robin.’

‘Mr Marr, first of all my congratulations on retaining your seat—’

‘Thank you.’

‘—and, as I understand it, you won by a slightly increased majority – in line, it must be said, with the swing across the country. It is looking like Mr Monaghan will be propelled into Downing Street by only a marginal majority. Do you anticipate any problems in fulfilling your electoral promises?’

‘Well, as far as my own desires for liberal reform are concerned, I'm optimistic that we will be able to count on the support of certain members of the opposition to get things done.’

‘Parliament will reconvene next Tuesday. Will you be springing into action straight away?’

‘I think there are a lot of problems in Britain that require urgent attention, yes. I cannot speak for any of my colleagues, obviously, but I hope to have a team of people ready as soon as possible to help bring reform to Parliament and to the country.’

‘Getting in there before your party's majority disappears?’

‘Well Robin, considering that we're all still very much reeling from tonight's results I wouldn't think it proper to start thinking about next time already!’

‘Quite. Mr Marr, you will be wanting to go and celebrate your victory, no doubt. Thank you very much for talking to us this evening.’

‘Thank you, Robin.’​
 
Gramp1.jpg

News and Views​

"Hello and welcome back to ITV News and Views Election Night Special for Grampian Television. I am your host Thomas McNair and it is time to go to our first declaration of the night, The Liberal Seat of Moray and Nairn: home to incumbent MP & Liberal Leader in Scotland Robert MacAlastair. We join our correspondent in the area John MacLeod: John."

"Thank you Thomas, I am in Elgin Town hall tonight where any moment now we are expecting the declaration of results for the constituency whe-., sorry, we are reciving them now..." There is a pause where a somewhat faint announcement is made in the background "Sorry John, we've just had it that Robert MacAlastiar has been returned To Parliament with a large margin of 18% of the vote. As you can see he has taken the stage, and is making the customary speech. I believe we have equipment in-place to listen."

"Fr'ends, colleeg's, fein apponants, I am glad toewe seerv'e as yuor reparsantatave agaein four thas fine constatuancy. As many folk hav heerd my peece before, I wull be shor[a]t taenite. We, ein Wastmanster, wiull continuewe tuo leighber fur a mere reparsantatave govarnmant and continuewe tae ansure th'at extremasm and radicalisashun doesna taek ovar thas nashun. Togar-."

"I'm sorry to interrupt that broadcast, however the votes in Dundee East are coming in: indicating Victory for the SNP in the seat"...
 
((@sealy300 ))


Rt Hon Joseph Grimond
c/o House of Commons
Westminster
London
​
Rt Hon Parris Marr
19 Bootham Terrace
York
Yorkshire

Friday 16th December, 1966

​
Dear Mr Grimond,


Congratulations, firstly, on your party's good showing. My father voted Liberal consistently until 1949 (and, despite what he tells me, still does for all I know) so seeing you continue to survive brings something of a nostalgic pleasure.

Nevertheless, even with my party's majority I think it is quite clear that we will be co-operating rather closely over the coming four years or so – especially if we are to make it that far. With this in mind, I would like to invite you for an informal chat at the Oxbridge at some point next week. (I presume you'll be up in London by Tuesday?) I believe that our social policies have more in common than we perhaps allow ourselves to admit. We shouldn't let matters of party prevent real, liberal reform from taking place.

Yours sincerely,

cdb14c748e4a7995b5498996959d2cf7_zpsxdccxi4y.jpg
 
( @EasternBloc )

To : Mr. William MacDougal, MP for East Dundee
From: Mr. Lochlan G. Fitzpatrick, MP for South Antrim

Dear Mr. MacDougal,

First, let me congratulate you on your re-election. While I am saddened by the demise of our Conservative candidate, I am heartened to know that the House of Commons will still benefit from your wisdom.

Now that the dust is settling on this electoral campaign, I would be honored if you would kindly accept to go for a pint of two and exchange ideas on the current situation of Scotland, a beautiful part of our beloved country of which I know too few and which you know all too well.

I would be extremely interested to hear your ideas on the topic of devolution and I am sure that the situation of Northern Ireland might prove insightful in this regard.

Do not hesitate to call on me once you are back in London.

Warm regards,

Lochlan G. Fitzpatrick
 
S6dlbML.jpg
 
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To: Mr. Lochlan G. Fitzpatrick, MP for South Antrim
From: Mr. William MacDougal, MP for East Dundee

Thank you for your kind words about my victory in Dundee East. Don't worry about Mr. Marshall, as my constituency has never returned a Tory in it's life, so I'm sure he will move on. If I may do so as well, I would like to extend by congratulations to yourself of your own reelection by such a wide margin, despite your party losing overall. Being on the opposition benches may seem rather rum in the beginning, but veterans of the opposition such as myself learn to numb that feeling.

As for your proposal, I would be delighted to have a drink over ideas about our two regions, in hope to better both the Scots and the North Irish. There is a pub not too far from the Commons that I know well and would very well suffice for a meeting. The service there is quite nice at least when it's not busy. Until then, cheers.

Best wishes,
William MacDougal
 
____________________________________


SS3MAU5.png


____________________________________



"And we are back with our election night coverage and we will take a look at Northern Ireland with our correspondent Solomon Leicester. Solomon, how is it looking in the Province?"

Leicester : Well Robin, as you can see on the map, the Province was just painted Tory blue tonight. The Conservative affiliates, the Ulster Unionist Party, took every single constituency in Northern Ireland. Now, this is where it becomes interesting, for Northern Ireland clearly did not follow the nation if you look at the swing-o-meter. This might very well be the only region where the Conservatives made substantial gains.

"Unfortunately, that was not enough to compensate for the losses elsewhere. How do you explain this mood in Belfast? I mean, we see even West Belfast has turned blue, a feat nobody could ever contemplate at the beginning of the campaign."

Leicester: Well Robin, we have with us here at the Ulster Unionist gathering the MP for South Antrim, Lochlan G. Fitzpatrick, which had played a solid role in the UUP campaign. Hi Lochlan, and congratulations on being returned to Westminster by your fellow constituents.

Fitzpatrick: Well thank you and my heartfelt thanks to all the electors of South Antrim, it is a tremendous honor and privilege to earn their trust for the second time.

Leicester: What happened here? How do you reconcile the fact that all of Northern Ireland went blue while Labour managed to get a majority in the rest of the country?

Fitzpatrick: Well, I believe first that it speaks to the quality of the candidates we had in all the ridings. Leadership made sure to pick up people with deep roots in their riding. And when you look at messaging, I believe that we've had almost a different campaign here in Northern Ireland, were our messages about taxes, trust in the strength and resources of our people and safer communities really reached across the aisle.

Leicester: And now, you'll take place on the opposition benches. How do you see your role? We've just heard that Prime Minister Jacobs is stepping down as Conservative Leader. Do you have any ambitions in this regards?

Fitzpatrick: Solomon, tonight, it's the night to recognize the extraordinary contribution of Prime Minister Jacobs to our political life. I am sure the nation is grateful for his life-long advocacy on its behalf. As regards the future, I look forward to working constructively in Westminster with MPs of all affiliation. This is what my constituents sends me to do.

"And that is all the time we have. Now, let's look at the critical region of London, where many more seats where in play."
 
((Lochlan, riding is the Canadian term. Brits much prefer constituency.))
 
(( I will fix it right away ;P ))
 
sealy300 said:
((Kinghigh, love the map, but I only seem to have 12 seats and Moray and Nairn is Tory: so I think it is an easy fix if would thanks.))
Click to expand...

((If we're doing that, I'd appreciate it if York could swing red as well. I'd swap it for Falmouth or something.))
 
PRIVATE EYE



_____________________________________________________________________________________________

LATE DECEMBER 1966 — TENPENCE
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

SPECIAL EDITION - FRONT PAGE
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Labour enjoys Victory, Tories enjoy Vacation!

hqdefault.jpg

​

The election was a nail biter until the very finish. The polls, as per their lying selves, were completely wrong as Labour swung to victory over the motley collections which were their rivals. A mix of exceedingly loud Member of Parliament and the First Box's attempt to sneak off to Ibiza before being caught and forced by his party to do his job ad campaign resulted in an invigorated Labour party storming parliament with an immense two seat majority. When asked for a response to their victory, a Labour vice-undersecretary responded with "Oh, it's you lot, piss off." Truly the exuberance of being returned to parliament after two years has overtaken Labour.

As Labour decides how to reward the unions for voting in their favour, we turn our Eye to the Conservatives. There we see that the party is rocked by immense losses, which can only but represent a changing of the guard of leadership for the Party. An example of this being the First Box, who has now become the Right Honourable Box. He was last seen gleefully leaving parliament with plane ticket in hand. Another example being the legendary antique Foreign Minister, Mr. Maxpherson. Having suffered a heart attack following what can be seen as a Christmas miracle during a session of Ugandan discussions. We wish him for the best, and am sure that his good friend Gibbons is looking on his from the heavens.

The Liberals, ecstatic at their immense gains in both parliament and the popular vote, are expected to sit with the Scottish Nationalists and complain about how they have yet to be noticed by anyone, or even actually impact legislation in years. Luckily the deflated Communists can be there to show that there are always worse things to be, like a lifeless, dead-eyed organs for outside entities.

In the wake of these changes, we here at the Eye are excited to see how the government is created, what and who it is comprised of, and how Parr will wiggle Morgan like a flute to a snake. Furthermore, given the recent trend of Labour, the Eye will patiently wait in order to best show its readers how the government will fail to do anything of note and fall to infighting.

This is the beginning of a great time ladies and gentlemen, just wait!
 
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DensleyBlair said:
((If we're doing that, I'd appreciate it if York could swing red as well. I'd swap it for Falmouth or something.))
Click to expand...
((Does no one care about Newport? o_O))
 
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