Voices in my head

[Nikolai]

They say I’m mad.
The voices in my head, that is.
The voices in my feet aren’t agreeing with them of course.
But the fingers’ voices are.
I hate those voices.
But the voice from that man in Cordoba was okay.
The man himself smelled a bit, but his voice was kind to me.
It said I was chosen.
Chosen to travel to the great kingdoms and Empires in the known world.
Chosen to write about them, for God’s glory, it said.
Chosen to come to God’s arms in the heavens, if I only pleased him and his voice with fulfilling this task.
It said nothing about how I should accomplish this.
Only that I should not use more than about a decade in each kingdom.
And that my son, and his son, and his son again, and maybe some more sons of sons, shall come after me, together with their voices.
Okay, I said.
And then the voice laughed.

 

[Nikolai]

CK 1.03b
1337 campaign
Normal/Normal
Various countries

First update sometime this evening, if everything goes all right.

 

[tombom]

Sounds strange and interesting.

 

[Morpheus506]

Indeed... Schizophrenia sounds like it would make a ruler very interesting to watch

 

[Nikolai]

Oh, but it's not the ruler I am following. You'll see...

 

[Nikolai]

The kingdom of Castile

January 7th 1337, Cordoba

Dear God.
I am very pleased about the place you’ve sent me to! As you know, the king have hired me as clown, a title of great honour I’m told! Think of it! Royal Clown Diego Alahomora! The king is a bit weird though(please, don’t tell him I’ve said that). Shortly after I came here a week ago, he announced he’ll marry. Not that it is anything wrong with marrying, but…Quiet toe voice! I’m trying to concentrate on writing here! Oh, well, where was I? Ah! You see God, this is his second wife. And his first wife is still alive and kicking… Well, he has got the pope’s agreement, so I guess you think it’s all right God. But I must ask you something. He has five sons, all bastards but one. And this one’s mother isn’t the queen? Now, I know your ways aren’t always meant to be understood by us, but what about his? Well, he is a good guy, so I guess you two have it all sorted out.

I have made a map of Castile for you to see, plus some paintings of the royal trio. I am sorry for the wrong age of second queen Andregoto, I was unlucky to write five years too much on her picture I’m afraid… Have a nice day, and give the Holy Voice a hug from me!

Yours,
Diego

This God, is the kingdom of Castile anno 1337. Like it?

This is the king God. May you be with him!

This is the king’s lovely wife, blessed be her life in you, God!

This is the king’s new wife. May you bless her with lots of children, God!

May 19th 1341, Cordoba
Dear God.
Blessed by you! All of Castile, included the voices (they are a bit grumpy these days) is celebrating the birth of the king and 2nd queen’s forth child! Two girls and two boys are truly yet another sign of your greatness! I must confess I am still a bit confused over the marriage of 1st wife and Duke Pedro three years ago, two double marriages aren’t usual where I grew up. But you in your kindness have blessed the royals with many privileges, blessed be you Father, Son and Holy Voice!

The king’s war on terrorists of Islam in southern Iberia has, as you know, been a success for him and the Holy Church, and the people of Granada has heard you Voice! Good Arab Catholics they have become! But, as you know, after the king was sceptic of your Holy Voice in my head (those royal sceptics…bah!), his war on the blue menace has gone very wrong. They are soon coming to Cordoba, even though they’ve lost their power base in Africa! I pray for your forgiveness of the king’s behaviour, and that his vassals will bless his righteous crusade with troops and listen to his Holiness Pope’s voice for the call to crusade!

I now bid you a good night, God. I am mightily tired, as I have been listening to your Voice all day. Not that your Voice is tiring, but I have concentrated so much… Please, give me a loving wife, as I now am 23 as you know, and I fear my visits to the ladies in court isn’t pleasing your Son very much. Bless my steps on this Earth, and if you like it so, give me no more bad dreams of Anti-Voice.

Yours,
Diego

September 12th 1344, Cordoba
Dear God.
As you know, the proud bastard of a Navarre child king has greatly upset the king. That Navarre actually said the king lives in sin since he has two wives! I mean, he has papal approval! I expect his excommunication, but in the mean time, the king took over the title of king of Navarre and count of Navarre on the battle field as compensation. Of course, he didn’t conquer it himself, he’s too lazy for that. A minute… Please, finger voice! I’m having a conversation with God here! GOD I said! What? No, GOD! Not Job. Yes, that’s right.

Sorry God, I……..God? Go-od? Oh, God! Where are you?

Yours,
Diego

August 6th 1345, Cordoba
Dear God.
I do not understand why you haven’t answered me the last months, I have only heard your Holy Voice once. Of course I did as you said, and gave the king the message that he should crusade for his glory. And yours of course, but he was especially interested in his own glory, that son of a….oh, excuse me! I didn’t mean to upset you, God. Good to hear your Voice again! Now, I also said you wanted him to keep all the land he conquered in his own demesne, though I can’t understand how a lazy man as that can…..yes, yes, God, I know, you know best, yes, yes. But I am really wondering how he shall end. Anyway, he’s out conquering right now. Word is, he has been quite reckless the last month. Hope he makes it well through. But now you must excuse me, my mum’s finger’s calling!

Yours,
Diego

July 4th 1346, Cordoba
Dear God.
I am worried. Very worried. One thing is that my upper arm and neck’s voices are at war at the moment, another thing is that today I got a message, saying king has got something called schizophrenia. Another of the doctor’s weird names, but together with the two times king has become severely wounded, it makes my situation bad, says your Son’s voice. I might have to leave the kingdom. I shouldn’t be amazed I guess, since it’s gone nearly 10 years since I came now. Where do you want your servant to go this time? And by “this time”, I mean before January 1347. The king wants to boil me at 5 AM January 3rd 1347… I bid you a good night.

Yours,
Diego

December 29th 1346, Cordoba
Dear God.
I am leaving town NOW! I am glad you gave me a destination, though December 28th 11.59 PM was a bit late in my humble opinion. Not that I doubt you and your Voice’s decisions. I have packed my bag, and will be leaving for Constantinople as soon as I’ve sent you this letter.

Yours,
Diego

PS! I’ve sent you a map over Castile anno December 29th 1346. Hope you like the colours!

His royal schitzo, the king of Castile’s glorious kingdom, anno (nearly) new year 1347. Like it, God? I made it with help from the Holy Voice!

 

[unmerged(20519)]

Really interesting and fun way to tell the story!

 

[Nikolai]

Thank you!

 

[unmerged(20844)]

[ghostmode]the voices of the PFF are with you [/ghostmode]

 

[Stuyvesant]

Voices in your head... That compel you to leave for another country every ten years? With no long-term worries (like plummeting piety/loyalty if you go on a Christian annexation spree), it should make for some entertaining game play. Not to mention some entertaining writing. I'll be reading.

 

[Nikolai]

Thanks. School has started, and I have had some other things to think of IRL lately, if anybody wonder why I haven't updated. I have just not had any time to play. I do have some ideas of what I want to do though. The problem would actually be to not repeat my "witty" things too much, so that it isn't witty anymore...

 

[Murmurandus]

Good idea, nice story so far...

 

[Jestor]

This is frankly a hilarious read. You've captured the essence of the character's voice superbly and it's quite distinct in my head. Nice job!

 

[Nikolai]

Murmurandus, Jestor; thanks! The next update comes any minute now...

 

[Nikolai]

August 26th 1347, Constantinople
Dear God.
I am fine. The cellar is cold, but I’m told by the voice outside the door that it’s good for my health. So is the food. I’m not sure about that though, it tastes a bit weird. I still can’t understand why my entrance to the Emperor’s bedchamber made him so angry; after all, I DID knock. Anyway, I told him about the Holy Voice’s plan for his conquest of the unholy Muslim menace. Actually, that’s the only time his voice laughed. Then I was taken away.

By the way, I am wondering about this bubonic guy? He is supposed to be a real pest! I hope I won’t have to meet him, but if I must, I’m confident your Voice will protect me God.

Yours,
Diego

Byzantium when I came.

Some of its neighbours. Look at that nasty Emirate of Baghdad! May the Voice protect us!

The Emperor and his Empress. I didn’t like his voice. Or his guards.

February 11th 1348, Constantinople
Dear God.
Blessed be your Voice! A week ago, I was taken out from the cellar, to get a bath! There I got news, telling that the Emperor actually have listened to what I said! He is at war with the Muslims at least. Oh, and I must really thank you for sending Alexa in my way, God. As you know, she’s distantly related to the Emperor’s grand nephew’s aunt-in-law’s dead grandmother, who in turn was distantly related to Christ himself! Alexa Christ, as she calls herself, is as you know, the returned Messiah(I didn’t know a woman could be Christ, but one learns all the time!). She has been stationed here over the dungeon, and can come and go as she pleases. We’ve got good contact. She’s cute btw…

Yours,
Diego

March 13th 1346, Constantinople
Dear God.
But let me tell you about the Empire’s state at the moment. It’s small, but growing because of its weak neighbours. The Il-Khanate, who just a decade ago was the strongest empire in the known world, is now just a shadow of itself, after a large civil war that has split it up, with the Emirate of Baghdad as the leading successor state. As long as Baghdad isn’t caring about Anatolia, everything is okay. What’s not okay is that the succession in the Empire isn’t secure. Several voices have told me, included the Emperor’s wife through dreams, that the Palaiologos is destined to rule the Empire! But as it is now, other dynasties are in line to take over. Do not cry however, tonight my splendid tongue shall tell the Emperor through dreams that a new succession law is in order. May the Voice be with me!

Yours,
Diego

August 22nd 1349, Constantinople
Dear God.
Washnu-il-as-da’alahym, detra qri cetti yeti dalore! Wepsha, grphi Yeshu Khristta delo’vin’dee’l.

Now, what do you think? Am I managing the Messianic tongue voice properly? I’m learning from Alexa directly! After we married last month, and I could move up to our new home at her castle(it’s nice, but I’d wish we could move freely outside the fence), my health has improved greatly. Obviously the voice that said otherwise was the Devil’s! The little baby Messiah is growing right now, your Voice be blessed! Eight months, and he’ll be here! A minute… Yes, ear? No, I’m sure that it’ll be a boy! A-hem! Where was I? Ah, yes! The Emperor has taken several of his neighbours(as you can see on the map I’ve made), the Empire is flourishing, and this bubonic guy is quickly leaving town after town. It’s all because of you and your glorious Voice!

Yours,
Diego(with Alexa on my side)

The Empire after the first conquests.

January 23rd 1352, Constantinople
Dear God.
After a long and dangerous war, peace has now come to the Empire once again. The Emperor was in the middle of a smaller war, when one of his vassals started a war against the sultanate of Eretnid!(I’m sure Satan’s voice had something to do with that!) They were a hard nut to crack, actually they weren’t cracked at all. The Empire got half of them, then lost some of what was gained, and then got a peace of status quo.

On the personal level, my little Alex(andros) has become nearly 3 years old. He’s a good boy, making his dad proud already, talking in his Messianic language(it sounds amazingly alike baby talk!) to his second dad, YOU! I’m sure you two have lots to talk about, being divine and all. Oh well, God… Mariana, my baby daughter, has just woke up… See ya!

Yours,
Diego(proud dad and husband)

PS! The Emperor is still blaming you for that severe wound he got in the last war. Could your comforting Voice please help him becoming better? The taxes and rage he’s got isn’t good for the citizens I’m afraid…

November 13th 1352, Constantinople
Dear God.
It’s amazing, but good! Some of the vassals of the Emperor continued the war, against his vocal will, and got problems. So he just DoWed them once more, and actually is doing well! Blessed be the name of your divine Voice! He heard you!

Yours,
Diego

PS! Alexa asks if you’d like to skip the crucifixion this time(when the time comes, that is).

The Empire and its red, devilish, Muslim enemy!

May 15th 1353, Constantinople
Dear God.
The whole of Constantinople is in rage right now. The dissolution of the Erenids was celebrated of course, but when the messengers came with news of the Hungarian ongoing conquest of the Emirate of Edessa(who just had conquered the kingdom of Cilicia), riots was near. Alex is asking for you btw, he’s wondering on his lot in life. Smart 4-year-old, eh?

Yours,
Diego

The mess that once was a mighty foe.

September 30th 1354, Constantinople
Dear God.
The Emperor is dead, long live the Emperor! Even if he’s Italian. Which I guess isn’t too bad after all. Or it shouldn’t be. What’s better; he’s a Catholic! Thankfully the Emperor hasn’t too many vassals to convince his worth for. But think of it; an Italian on the throne, once again! Blessed be your omnipresent Voice of Justness! But the new Emperor has lost his only child, his wife is pregnant, but considering her age, it’s the last time probably. Must you be just and merciful once again!

Yours,
Diego

October 23rd 1355, Constantinople
Dear God.
Holy war has once again emerged! I am sorry to say that my neck blames it on you, that the kingdom of Kafsid has attacked and taken two of the Emperor’s vassals, but I of course know the truth. The Emperor has called up on all his vassals, and is sending the whole force his Empire has to this threat located in the lands of the Roman enemies of old; Carthage! May you send your Voice to protect your Roman crusaders!

Yours,
Diego

July 9th 1356, Constantinople
Oh, my God!
The Empire got HUUUUUGE trouble last night! The emirate of Baghdad DoWed two of the Emperor’s vassals tonight! The Empire won’t stand a chance in such a fight, but still that……sorry, that Emperor decided he didn’t want to loose prestige! He’s in another war for crying out loud! I did what? Did he wake up? Oh… Sorry God, got to take care of my children… I might have to flee this country soon too, can you give me a Voice call this night about that issue?

Yours,
Diego

Problems… A miracle just might be in order now.

January 23rd 1357, Constantinople
Dear God.
I better leave now. The armies of DOOM is marching towards the Empire, its easternmost province is already taken. Alexa and the kids have already packed, and as soon as your Holy Voice give me the signal, I’m gone! I’ll send you some maps over the situation. Say hello to Messiah number 1 from me!

Yours,
Diego(scared to death)

The Empire when I left.

 

[Morpheus506]

Somebody's in some biiiiiig trouble! I wonder where you'll go next.

 

[Murmurandus]

If God has a nasty sense of humour, He'll send Diego to a muslim kingdom...

 

[Nikolai]

Murmurandus: If than only had been possible in Ck...
Mopheus:

 

[unmerged(11366)]

Now this is the most original idea I've seen since HistoryPark...good job so far and good luck in keeping it up!

P.S. Andronikos looks like he needs (sorry, needed) a good clown or maybe Prozac.

 

[Stuyvesant]

Biting off more than you can chew, eh? Maybe there are some principalities in Rus that could use help smiting the infidel next? And who knows, if you're really successful really soon, you could come to the rescue of the Byzantines and wipe out those Bag-daddies.