Wulfhere "The Saxon" Haraldsson Crovan, King of All Norway, of Sweden, of Denmark and of Serbia
Wulfhere, in his younger, Ducal years
Born 1301. Ascended the throne in 1334 aged 33. Died in 1353 aged 52.
Ruled 19 years
Highlights:
Protected the mass-murderess Asta Crovan rather than execute her
Accidently expanded Norway into Germany, Greece and the Balkans
Crowned King of Serbia
Survived and defeated Ninja assassins
Conquered Constantinople in the 7th Crusade
Executed the mass-murder William de Montfort, just to keep the other murderers on their toes
Lowlights:
Half-Brother Svein launched a comically inept attempt at regicide
The Pope pretended the 7th Crusade had been called to free Antioch - a total lie!
The new vassals, who begged to be part of Norway, rose up in violent rebellion
Died of a shockingly slow-acting poison from the Ninja attack
Thurcytel Wulfheresson Crovan, King of All Norway, of Sweden, of Denmark and of Serbia
Thurcytel, feeling romantic
Born 1318. Crowned in 1353 aged 35. Died in 1360 aged 42
Ruled 7 years
Highlights:
Actually was a mass-murderer himself
Married the mass-murderer Asta Crovan
Lowlights:
"Whatevs" is a pretty stupid catchphrase
Fought the Great Crovan Rebellion
Fought yet another Civil War
Blackmailed and extorted by the Pope
Speared to death while hiding under a wagon at the Battle of Uppland
Eadburt "The Unhinged" Thurcytelsson Crovan, King of Norway and of Serbia
Called "The Mover"
Born in 1336. Ruled 1360 aged 24. Died in 1379 at age 43
Ruled 19 years
Highlights:
Abandonded Scandinavia to his inbred brother Wiglaf
Turned the Balkans into a proper Kingdom of Norway
Extended the "King married to a mass-murderer" streak to 2
Christ Returned, in the form of Mad Olaf Crovan
Lowlights:
Severely wounded in a Civil War
Son and only heir killed in absurdly small and pointless battle
Mad Olaf excommunicated by a not-very-understanding Papacy
Mad Olaf excommunicated again, just for good measure
Went insane and tried to murder his wife
Had to be rescued by his spymaster
Accidently hired a hit-man to murder his spymaster
Tried to massacre his brother Alfred's family
Had his family massacred by Alfred instead
Died of gangrene and pneumonia
Alfred Thurcytelsson Crovan, King of Norway and Serbia
Alfred is having a bad day
Born in 1341. Ruled 1379 aged 38. Died 1388 aged 47
Ruled 9 years
Highlights:
Church of Olaf Crovan, Christ launched in Constaninople
Actually executed a mass-murderer
Lowlights:
Sickliest King since Bard I
Thracian Inquisition does not have a catchy ring to it
Drowned by a "Norse Crovan" elitist