Just wondering, how are you writing these chapters up? I mean are you using Word or Notepad or are you just writing them into the reply box?
From Lords to Kings (AGOT mod)
- Thread starter EtzelHoveri
- Start date
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Just curious, everyone has different ways of doing it. Personally, when I'm writing an AAR I do it in Word
I usually do a rough draft of it in my notebook at work. I then do minor changes as I write it in the reply box.
How did you like the last couple of chapters? The Three Fawns are over and the War of the Trident has begun.
How did you like the last couple of chapters? The Three Fawns are over and the War of the Trident has begun.
War of the North and Trident
Alive
Davos Storm
(April 314)
Coughing up rivers of water Davos breathed in sweet, sweet air. He was alive, he was actually alive. When the arrow had taken his horse he thought he was a gonner. He never learned how to swim let alone doing it with all this armor on. Everything was still so fuzzy to him. The arrow had hit his horse, the tide pulled him under and then there was water. More and more water.
How was he on the bank now? He was halfway across Ram’s ford riding alongside Lord Terrance and Ser Arstan when the arrows started flying. They were leading the second thousand men across the river behind Lord Bryton. He had arrived two days before with word that the war was not over. Edmure Tully had proclaimed himself King of the Trident and four thousand more men were on their way from Strongsong under Ser Denys and Ser Symond.
Coughing up a few more splatters of water he finally turned over onto his back to look up at the beautiful sun. When he did all he could see was darkness. Was it night already? It was then that he realized the shade was in fact the outline of a man above him. Trying to bolt to his feet and draw his sword he felt a great pressure on his shoulder. “Rest my friend. We still have some time. The tide took us a great distance before it slowed enough to let me pull us out of the water.”
What was he talking about? Who was this man? Whoever it was, he had called him friend and claimed to have pulled him from the river. “What happened?”
“I didn’t see much. My horse was hit shortly after your own, but I did see the purple eagle of House Mallister, the four wheels of House Wayn and naked woman of House Piper. I can only assume that the Lord’s Jason Mallister, Hibald Wayn and Ellery Piper were waiting in ambush for us and struck when we were at our weakest. I would guess all of the men in the river are dead as well as those on the far bank. Hopefully at least half of the ones still to follow were able to get away. My brother is probably captured. The first arrow had taken his out his horse.”
“Your brother? Why would the men of the Trident target your brother first?”
This brought a rumble from the man above him. Instead of answering he simply removed his helm. With this movement the sun washed over his face and he could see nothing but light. Slowly though his sight returned and he saw the man who saved him was in fact Terrance Badics. Not sure why Davos suddenly found it more and more difficult to see the man. “I’m not that ugly am I? To bring tears to the eyes of men who look upon me?” Tears? Was he crying? He was indeed. What was wrong with himself? He really needed to pull it together. “Come on Ser Davos. It is time to go.”
“Go where? If what you say is true then our army is lost. We cannot fight against the Lords of the Rivers with a few hundred men.”
“Don’t forget there is still two with men.” Ser Denys and Ser Symond with their four thousand men. It appears the war was not over even if they had captured or killed their leader. Lord Terrance would see them through this war. All rested on him now and Ser Davos could not believe the rush he began to feel as he thought this. At Lord Terrance’s side he would see this war won and gain the honor that will come with it for his wife and himself.
Amazing story, just spent the past 6 hours on it.
Really like the changes in pov's, after all this is what differs Asoiaf to "classic" Fantasy literature, the presentation of both points of view in a conflict, instead of the simple focus on a good vs. evil conflict. Also it's very authentic that the main protagonist, in his quest for power, makes more enemies than actual friends- and those he does make, he outlives.
Keep going!
Really like the changes in pov's, after all this is what differs Asoiaf to "classic" Fantasy literature, the presentation of both points of view in a conflict, instead of the simple focus on a good vs. evil conflict. Also it's very authentic that the main protagonist, in his quest for power, makes more enemies than actual friends- and those he does make, he outlives.
Keep going!
Nice work, EH. You do a good job handling the different character POVs, giving each a unique voice. This is a very enjoyable read. I mean, with chapter titles like Sagging Teats and the Imp as Kingslayer, what's not to like?
Thank you knppel. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I'm al quite flattered that you spent the last six hours reading it all. I like this series since though Paul is this great knight he is not well liked because of his ambitions. And Bryton's battle ended the way it did. They are not the perfect good guys.
LD I'm glad you got a chance to read it as well. Should either of you have any suggestions to make it better I'm all ears. Thank you again.
LD I'm glad you got a chance to read it as well. Should either of you have any suggestions to make it better I'm all ears. Thank you again.
A couple of things would be to watch your punctuation, especially the use of (or lack of) commas. For example:
When the arrow had taken his horse he thought he was a gonner. He never learned how to swim let alone doing it with all this armor on.
Try:
When the arrow had taken his horse, he thought he was a gonner. He never learned how to swim, let alone with all this armor on. (I removed doing it. It wasn't necessary.)
Also, try to avoid modern day colloquialisms. From the example above, the word gonner would be considered one. These tend to take a reader out of the flow of the narrative. It can be a common mistake. Brian Wood, who is currently adapting (or screwing up), Queen of the Black Coast for Dark Horse Comics, falls into the trap many times, which is one of the reasons he has outraged fans of Robert E. Howard. Queen of the Black Coast is one of Howard's greatest Conan stories.
Finally, a minor nit from the last post. Armour is heavy. I think Davos would sink like a stone, as opposed to being swept along the river.
Hey, you asked
I know I asked. I appreciate critiqueing. To address those points;
Commas- I don't know why but I have always had problems with commas. I never either remember to put them in or I forget where they go. One of these days I will get better at it, but at the time being I always forget it seems.
Modern day- I didn't even realize I written that. I appreciate you pointing it out and I will try to do better proof reading for those type of errors.
Armour- Plate mail does weight a lot and I had meant to put in that Davos was not dressed in it. Since he is a bastard son and his wife is a bastard they have very little wealth. He is supposed to be dressed in a leather jerkin with plates of steel sown in. It is a lot cheaper and would in fact allow him to be pulled by the tide. Terrance who was also pulled into the river is supposed to be a powerful giant of a man who can perform feats many other men can not. I was using this to compensate for him being able to hold himself above the water when he was pulled into it.
Commas- I don't know why but I have always had problems with commas. I never either remember to put them in or I forget where they go. One of these days I will get better at it, but at the time being I always forget it seems.
Modern day- I didn't even realize I written that. I appreciate you pointing it out and I will try to do better proof reading for those type of errors.
Armour- Plate mail does weight a lot and I had meant to put in that Davos was not dressed in it. Since he is a bastard son and his wife is a bastard they have very little wealth. He is supposed to be dressed in a leather jerkin with plates of steel sown in. It is a lot cheaper and would in fact allow him to be pulled by the tide. Terrance who was also pulled into the river is supposed to be a powerful giant of a man who can perform feats many other men can not. I was using this to compensate for him being able to hold himself above the water when he was pulled into it.
War of the North and Trident
In His Tower
Bryton Badics
(November 314)
There was little to see out of the two windows of his tower cell. The one to the north showed him most of Riverrun and the keep. Whereas the southern window he could see the Riverrun Sept. It was far grander then the one in Moonsgrey where he was knighted or the one at The Crown or even in Strongsong. The Eyrie’s was small as well, but that had probably only been to not waste a lot of space. The largest was in King’s Landing, but this probably took a close second in size.
The rest of the room was almost empty as his views. There was his single bed which no man would claim was comfortable save for a man like himself who had spent his first two months visit here chained to a wall in it’s dungeons. When Edmure Tully had agreed to move him into this tower he was greatly surprised. That was until he came up to see him on his fifth day in the tower. Entering the room with his great crown on his head Edmure tried his best to look like a King. “Welcome to Riverrun.”
Setting aside one of the books that Edmure had given him Bryton said, “The two views of your city I have seem quite beautiful. Far better then the ones I had before though I am curious.”
“Why have you moved?” Bryton nodded to the question. “Well that is simple. You are my enemy, yes. I want to see you dead and your whole family eradicated. However, I am going to have you watch from here. As each member of your family is captured they will be executed and placed on our eastern gate. Both of these views can be seen from your northern window.” This brought a cruel grin from the false King. “That and the fact that we will speak from time to time. I would rather not try to hold my breath during these conversations.”
What hatred this man had for him. It seemed so long as his family still lived and fought then so would he. “I am sorry to say, but you will fail in this goal of yours Tully. You may have captured me, but my men will see you fall. My brother Terrance will not stop until your armies are crushed. And Arstan will not stop until I am free.”
Again the cruel grin returned to him as Edmure spoke, “I fear your poor brother Terrance is dead. He along with your bastard sister’s husband were pulled into the river and drowned. As for this Arstan person you speak of, what do I have to fear of one man?”
“Did you not hear of what he did at Ram’s Ford?”
To this the false King looked back to one of his men, “What is he talking about Ellery?” So this man with him was Ellery Piper.
“One knight who was in the river attacked us like a demon. No matter how many quarrels hit him, he kept on fighting. The man eventually ran once the prisoner yelled at him to run. At that moment we had him gagged and the knight fled from us. We do not know where he as gone.” Turning back to him Edmure’s grin was gone, but he had a look of great loathing which replaced it. That was the end of their first conversation. It was still hard to believe that Terrance was dead, but at least Arstan had made it away alive. He could only hope that Gwayne would send an army or Jon Lannister or the King. Somebody to save him from this tower.
War of the North and Trident
All the King‘s Men
Terrance Badics
(February 315)
Over a thousand men had survived the ambush at Ram’s Ford. Little by little these men found their way to the four thousand men that Ser Denys and Ser Symond had brought into the Riverlands. Upon his arrival these two gave up control of the army to Terrance. “A Badics should lead them” they said.
His first move was to send the men to Stonemill where he waited allowing those who survived the last battle to rejoin his new force. Once they numbered nearly fifty-five hundred, the last to arrive was Arstan with the news of what happened to his brother. Bryton had indeed been captured by the Rivermen and was being held in Riverrun. Arstan wanted to immediately go and save him, but Terrance had told him they couldn’t. They did not have the men to take the city. This war would be won in the field.
Their first goal should be to join forces with the thousand men the King had sent to aid them. He had received reports of their movements a few days before, but if they continued along the path they were going they would run straight into Jason Mallister’s men. They would be slaughtered to the man.
It took them nearly three weeks to find the King’s men who were slowly being pushed back by the Tully soldiers. Somehow they were holding their own even though they were outnumbered by nearly three to one. Something was wrong with this. He just couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. Giving the orders Terrance watched as his men led by Ser Denys and Arstan struck Mallister’s army from the rear. In moments the River army collapsed and the battle was won.
This had been far to easy. Lord Mallister was a much better commander then this. He knew that there were enemies to his rear and he would have left a rear guard to warn him of any attack from them. Riding to the King’s forces he waited until somebody approached him. This knight he did not recognize but that didn’t mean much. “It’s good to see that you men survived. Are you the Commander of these forces?”
“No, that would be Ser Bronn of the Kingsguard. Queen Caleigh sent him and these thousand men to come to your aid.”
“May I speak with him then?”
“I fear he is dead, Lord. He was cut down moments after he killed Lord Mallister.” So that was why the army was led so poorly. Lord Mallister had been killed leaving the army to his fool of a son. That would make this campaign much, much easier.
“Very well. Your men will take my orders until another is sent to command you then.” It was obvious that the soldier did not know what he should do, but he bowed his head anyways and went about giving orders to the men and checking on the wounded.
War of the North and Trident
An offer he can‘t refuse
Edmure Tully
(March 315)
“It appears you were wrong. My brother still lives.” He had put his prisoner here in this tower to torture him, yet in the end he felt like the one being tortured. They had been talking of the King’s men being pushed back when suddenly a great ringing could be heard from the Sept. Mallister’s men were being pursued by Terrance Badics and the King’s soldiers who he had been told were being defeated.
It was a complete slaughter. His men were being run down and killed. They had no where to go. They could only die at the hands of his enemy. He stood there shoulder to shoulder with his prisoner watching his hopes and dreams be destroyed. The battle…no you could not call it a battle. A battle consists of two opponents fighting each other. His men were not fighting, they were running. They were running and dying. Though from time to time he did see a man get cornered and kill a man, but that was very, very rare.
As the slaughter was finally ending Bryton said, “If you release me and give up your crown I will request mercy for you.”
“Mercy? Mercy? Orys Baratheon does not show mercy. He is a war monger like his father. He killed his brothers and he will kill me too.” All the while he spoke he could not stop watching the army that slaughtered his men. They were not enough to take this city. But what if there was more? Should he surrender? Just as he was thinking of surrender the army began marching south away from the city. “Your brother can’t take this city.”
“I will give you one more chance in the future to take the offer I gave you. Next time take it.”
War of the North and Trident
A Visitor
Bryton Badics
(May 315)
“You have been summoned to meet with the King.”
He had been a ‘guest’ in this tower for over a year now and in that time nobody except Edmure Tully had spoke directly to him. Then again even he had not spoken to him in the two months since the Slaughter of the Sept. What could he wish to see him about? Most likely he was summoning him to his own execution, but he could not blame the man. He probably would have executed the man himself if the roles were reversed.
“Very well.” Leaving the room behind for what was probably the last time he could not help, but think of his life. What had he accomplished? Nothing. He had tried to be like his father, but in the end he was a failure. Captured in his very first battle when he was in command. Soon he would be killed and his grandson Bryen would follow him as the High Lord of Strongsong. The boy was only two years old now and the son of Edmure Tully’s own daughter. The man was the true winner in this contest. He only wished that Terrance helped him and raised the boy properly. In time hopefully Terrance could avenge his death as well.
Coming into the hall Bryton was taken aback when he saw Arstan standing there. Had he been captured as well? Would he be forced to watch his closest friend die? Yet he was not in chains, nor did he look upset. The man simply stood there in silence. It was Tully who broke the silence when he said, “Now that you see he is alive tell me the message you brought from Terrance.”
“You will release Lord Bryton, you will surrender your crown, your lands, and your entire family to us.” When Edmure Tully began to interject Arstan just got louder. “You will do these things or we will see your lands burned to the ground. All the land from the Westlands to the Vale are in our control and we will torch every woods, poison every well, and salt every field if our demands are not met. If you kill either myself or Lord Bryton he will do it anyways.”
Seeing the anger in Edmure’s eyes Bryton realized that now was the time. “Lord Tully, I told you that you had one more chance to accept my offer. Please take it. And live.” The man stared at him for sometime but eventually he bowed his head. Removing the crown he handed it over to him. “Thank you. Arstan give him all the gold you have on you.”
The man tossed the bag on his shoulder onto the ground. “I had brought some gold to ransom you if he refused to release you.”
“I’m glad you thought ahead. Lord Tully please send a letter to my son that I have been released.” When he didn’t respond Bryton turned back around. “Lord Tully?”
“I’m sorry, but I did not tell you. Doran Martell died two months ago. Your son, Ballabar, is now Prince of Dorne.”
War of the North and Trident
King‘s Judgment
Caleigh Badics
(June 315)
Standing with the other men and women of the court Caleigh could not help but feel proud. This past month since her brothers had brought down the ‘King of the Trident’ she had been treated with more and more respect. When she had married King Robert the looked down on her as being a nobody. Then with her marriage to King Orys she was seen as greedy. After that word had come of her brother’s capture and she was thought of being a woman to a weak family. Now though they claimed she was the greatest Queen since Alysanne Targaryen.
Great feasts were held in her families honor. Children raced through the streets calling themselves Terrance Badics or Paul Badics. When children were locked away they told their mothers they would not sit idly like Bryton Badics. Her brother was not sitting idly now. It appeared he missed the pleasures of a woman while in prison. The first thing he did was marry Jonnela Royce. Her twin had such promise, he just failed to live up to it. It was such a great time and today was the day people had been looking forward to.
Sitting upon the iron throne was her husband. On his knees before the King in chains was the man who once claimed himself a King. He did not look like much, but his defeat brought her more respect and she would take it.
“Edmure Tully, Lord of the Riverlands, you have been brought here today to answer for your crimes. You have committed treason twice over. When my brothers rose their banners of rebellion you took up their cause. Once they had been defeated you then named yourself King. Twice a traitor that brought death unto these lands. For these crimes you should be executed and stripped of your titles.” This is what she had been waiting for. She had been told of her brother’s offer, but would Orys be lenient?
“Lord Badics, a man you held captive in Riverrun for over a year, asks for mercy upon you. I believe you deserve none.” Again there was a pause as the King looked down upon the man in chains. “It was he who was a prisoner and it was his men who saw you brought down. It was also his man who brought you to me with this,” lifting from his lap was the crown that Tully had worn. Spinning it around in his hand he said, “For that reason I will agree to be merciful. Your family will keep your titles and you may take the black.” This brought a great murmur from those who watched on. “However, before you go to the Wall I will require you to live in the Red Keep’s dungeons for the next ten years.”
And with that judgment had been passed. Both harsh and merciful. Everything a King should be. Putting her arm in the man who stood next to her she said, “Now Arstan let me introduce you to King Orys.”
Before they took a step though the King said, “Lord Jon Umber.” As the man in chains was being pulled away a massive man came and took the man’s place. He was a dark looking man who was troubling to look upon. “When my brothers rebelled it was only you who sided with me of all the men of the North. For your loyalty I name you the new Lord of the North and Warden.”
War of the North and Trident
More Northern Traitors
Bryton Badics
(January 316)
“It has only been half a year and the man had already turned traitor. Does the North just breed traitors? First there was Ned Stark, then the Mormonts sided with the Kraken. Once they had been put down the Karstarks rebelled. After them came Howland Reed and then Robb Stark. Roose Bolton and Maric Baratheon began the War of the Three Fawns after all of them. Now Smalljon Umber is claiming to be the King of the North.”
“Yes brother,” said Terrance. He along with his other knights had all been called to this meeting. Terrance also brought with him Davos Storm. He could not stand the man, but he was at least useful to his brother and so he was allowed to stay. “We all know about the previous rebellions and this one. What of it?”
“What you don’t know is that our brother Gwayne is refusing to help the King put him down. He says that after their recent help in putting down the King of the Trident, he does not have the men to help against the King of the North.”
Jumping to his feet Terrance roared, “That coward said what? He didn’t send a single soldier into the Riverlands yet he is claiming our victory was his? Let me go up that mountain and throw him off of it.”
As much as Bryton would enjoy watching that he said, “No. We need to focus on our enemy and not the stupidity of our brother.” It was obvious his brother was still angry but he nodded and returned to his seat. “We shall march north tomorrow. Myself, Terrance, Durran and Arstan will lead the men. The rest of you will stay behind. While I am in the north Ser Gwayne is in command of Strongsong.”
“I am taking Davos with me.”
“The bastard’s husband is staying here.”
“He is coming or me and my men are not going north, brother.”
“You are not going? Do you wish to be imprisoned? If you wish you can go there with this man.” When his brother simply shrugged Bryton realized he would be forced to give in. He needed his brother and his two thousand men. He was the best commander he had. “Very well, but we will speak of this latter.”
And with that the War for the Trident has come to an end. Smalljon's Rebellion has begun.
Edit- And finally a Badics has control of one of the realms in his own name. Even if Bryton's son is weak.
Edit- And finally a Badics has control of one of the realms in his own name. Even if Bryton's son is weak.
Last edited:
Besides of course Paul who died of old age. Who do you guys think will be the next Badics to die? And how?
Stillbirths do not count towards this.
Stillbirths do not count towards this.
War of the North and Trident
Lord‘s Pain
Ser Arstan
(December 316)
He had been at his Lord’s side since they were children. He always looked up to him. Bryton was the man he wanted to grow up and become. Bryton’s father is said to be the greatest knight to ever live in the Vale, but to him there was none other then Bryton. The man was kind, just, intelligent, a great warrior and noble. Their trip north to do battle together should have been one of the greatest moments of his life. It wasn’t though. Just when the trip began, already things had gone wrong. His Lord had woken to find his wife had passed in the night. They had not even been married a single year and the poor girl was dead.
The Maesters had said her heart had given out in the night. It appeared though that Bryton’s had gone out as well. He no longer smiled. He no longer practiced the sword with him. He was no longer the same man. He was a man in pain and there was nothing else that could be said.
As the days went by Arstan could not help thinking that he was lost. All his life he had wanted to serve Bryton and now the man he cared for was just a shell of himself. What was he supposed to do now?
The question was in his head all the time he marched north. It took months to travel from the Eyrie into the North, but all the while he just thought of the question. As the new year was approaching the question was still on his mind when their eight thousand men joined up with King’s Orys’ soldiers.
The next day the vast army which followed the King of the Iron Throne rode out to battle. Across from them were the men of the North. This would be a great battle that will go down in the ages and his Lord was devoid of emotion. The King however was so full of life as he made his way through the lines. When he came to their section he stopped and smiled. “It is good to have you with us Ser Arstan.” And with that he rode on to the next man. It was enough. He knew what he would do now. Tomorrow he would write a letter. Today he would fight a battle.
War of the North and Trident
Finding Peace
Bryton Badics
(January 317)
Everything hurt so much. He was now twice widowed and he felt so alone again. It felt as if he was placed in the tower all over again. Yet this time he still had to focus and do his duty. When he had merged his forces with the King’s he was surprised when he was asked to command the left flank of the massive army while Terrance was given the right. Each of them would take control of fifteen thousand men. Even more surprising was when Arstan had asked to fight with the King’s men. He didn’t understand it, but he approved it nevertheless. The man had always been by his side, but even he was beginning to pull away from him. He needed to find peace or else his mind would kill him. Now though he had to concentrate on the coming battle.
As the horns began to blow he and the other fifty thousand men of the south slowly began to trudge across the great snow fields which separated their two armies. They lay of the land was so peaceful. During the night there had been another snow storm which cleansed the ground between them. There were no tracks from man, beast, or cart. All there was, was the perfect white field. With each step the men of either side slowly destroyed the clean field. Once they met in the center the perfect whiteness would be destroyed by the red of blood and entrails.
Ensuring that his line was in order Bryton kept trying to picture his wives’ faces. For some reason when he tried to see either of them all he could see was the box that carried away the first and the flames that had taken the second. When he then tried to remember his father’s face all he could see was a pile of rocks and a single lantern. The dead were gone to him. Feeling the weight of his loss again Bryton did everything he could to push it away. He had to ignore it, there was a battle to fight. Thirty thousand men stood only yards away from him and if he did not concentrate one of them would kill him. He had to stay focused.
With a quick motion he rose and dropped his hand. With his arm went the rush of thousands of men on either side. Those last few feet of emptiness were being overwhelmed by the men of the world. Then in a second it was gone and the battle had begun.
In his hand he held his father’s sword which he had taken from Wallace Waynwood back at the Battle of Old Anchor. It was not a great Valyrian sword, but it was castle forged. With it he cut and slashed his way through the men before him. He did as he was taught and brought down man after man. The fight was a hard one, but it felt as if they were winning. Things were going well.
At least they were until his mind started to try and remember his wives’ faces again. Then suddenly the tempo changed and he felt the drum of swords and spears against him. The pain that he felt inside was beginning to be felt outside as well. Here he would die. Here he would fall and another would take his place.
Feeling another strike to his helm, his head began to ring. As it did he thought he could hear a voice speaking at his side. “Young Lord why do you falter?” It was Ser Durran. The man had taken his place and was now fighting back the men who had been beating him so badly. “You are the son of Lord Paul Badics. You are the Lord of Strongsong.” Spinning his blade in a great slash the three men before the knight fell dead. “Your son sits as the Prince of Dorne and your sister is our Queen. Her husband, your King, is counting on you to lead us to victory.” Letting his spot be taken by another Durran came face to face with him. “You must accept your losses and embrace them. There is nothing you can do. All you can do is your duty.”
Embrace his losses? Trying to remember his wives again he returned to the line. Yet again the spears and blades pelted against him without end. He could not seem to embrace his loss like Durran had suggested. Everything just hurt. His father, his mother, and his wives had all been taken. All of their faces were blank, but he still felt the loss. Those four could not have been more different, yet the only thing he could remember of them was emptiness and sorrow.
Maybe that was the trick. Maybe he needed to accept the emptiness. It was at that moment when he spotted Smalljon. The leader of the rebel army was coming to the line and he was coming right to him. This was the moment that would determine his future. Would he die here in the bloody plains of the North or would he return to the Vale a hero? Slashing out with his father’s sword it struck the Smalljon’s and the emptiness enveloped him.