+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 30

Thread: Little Teke: and you think the sheep shearing nations have got it bad?

  1. #1

    Talking Little Teke: and you think the sheep shearing nations have got it bad?

    Little Teke: A Nation of Fish(ermen)

    1419: It is the year 1419, by the Christian Calender. Why are we using the Christian Calander? I
    donít know. I look around to see the nation I have picked. Teke. A silly name. And a silly place.
    Full of fish. That is what everyone in the capital does. Fish.

    I was offered fish consistently every time I enter the market. I am heartily sick of fish, not that I
    liked it in the first place.

    Ahem. So our domestic areas are a mess. Letís look at military matters. So I go to the barracks.
    And quickly leave. The place stinks of rotten fish. The military has had so much disuse, that they
    have been put to work gutting fish. So in other words, my entire-ENTIRE, mind you-military
    consists of an untrained rabble of 5,000 infantry, and 1,000 cavalry.

    OK. So our economy is a mess, our military is a bunch of fish gutters.... Canít anything be good
    in this country?

    Foreign policy. Surely the foreign surroundings are somewhat good. I look.

    I wish I hadnít looked.

    To our north was the monster Ottoman Empire. To our east was Karaman, not necessarily a
    monster, but three times our size. Uh oh. Not to mention that the Ottomans declared war on
    Candar, and after a 11 month, 19 day Candar is annexed. We prepare our military by building
    more troops (the fish stink will surely crush our enemies) and by changing the Domestic Policies
    one to narrow-mindedness.
    The guy who likely won't win an award for writing, but he sure as heck does it a lot. Well, mostly on other fora. Though he might return. Eventually.

    Oh, and for you inquiring minds, I have NEVER completed a WC.

  2. #2
    CareBear Eochaid's Avatar
    Crusader Kings IIDiplomacyEuropa Universalis 3Warlock: Master of the Arcane

    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    The Liberties
    Posts
    2,952
    Teke? Go underdog!

    I assume that your main objective will not be any fancy stuff, but just to survive
    Reading makes a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man - Francis Bacon

  3. #3
    Holstein's Envoy in Vienna Syt's Avatar
    200k clubCrusader Kings IIDeus VultDivine WindFor the Motherland
    Hearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest HourHeir to the ThroneEuropa Universalis III: In NomineLost Empire - Immortals
    EU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: RomeSemper FiSupreme Ruler 2020 Gold
    Supreme Ruler: Cold WarVictoria 2Victoria II: A House DividedVictoria II: Heart of DarknessMount & Blade: Warband
    Warlock: Master of the ArcaneMount & Blade: With Fire and SwordPride of NationsCK2: Holy KnightEU3 Collectors Edition
    500k clubEuropa Universalis IV: Pre-order

    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    Vienna, Austria.
    Posts
    6,648
    I have a feeling that Teke is going to become the bane of the Middle East and of Christian Europe....
    One strikeout is a tragedy; a million strikeouts a statistic.

  4. #4
    Weapon of Mass Distraction PriestOfDiscord's Avatar

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Stalinist Alabama
    Posts
    1,331
    EU2 has taught me, if anything, that nothing ever will go the same way twice in the middle east and balkans. I eagerly await watching the fishy hordes run roughshod throughout Asia Minor.

  5. #5
    Holstein's Envoy in Vienna Syt's Avatar
    200k clubCrusader Kings IIDeus VultDivine WindFor the Motherland
    Hearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest HourHeir to the ThroneEuropa Universalis III: In NomineLost Empire - Immortals
    EU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: RomeSemper FiSupreme Ruler 2020 Gold
    Supreme Ruler: Cold WarVictoria 2Victoria II: A House DividedVictoria II: Heart of DarknessMount & Blade: Warband
    Warlock: Master of the ArcaneMount & Blade: With Fire and SwordPride of NationsCK2: Holy KnightEU3 Collectors Edition
    500k clubEuropa Universalis IV: Pre-order

    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Location
    Vienna, Austria.
    Posts
    6,648
    They're mean.
    They're rotten.
    And they reek of fish...
    One strikeout is a tragedy; a million strikeouts a statistic.

  6. #6
    Thanks for all the replies! I was almost moaning by this time. Did this have to be the one time the Ottomans expand historically?


    1420-1429: Wonderful. A decade of change. Well, not really. Our people still eat fish. The Ottomans, early in the decade, declare war on Karaman. In 1422, they take two provinces from them (the Ottomans from Karaman). We also managed to get an alliance with the monster (we had to buy their diplomats some beers first). We also built some galleys.

    On the domestic front, people ate fish. They also built a naval equipment manufactory (code phrase for ďPlace where fish are processedĒ), and formed a monopoly company (for the fish
    market).

    Not much else happened, except people kept rejecting royal marriages and gifts, complaining they smelled like fish (How can we help it?).

    1430-1439: We fight against Byzantium, a war in which our hard earned galley fleet (really just outsized fishing boats) defeated the Byzantine navy from Teke to Morea, heroically sinking several ships (mostly by hurling dead fish, asphyxiating their crews and causing them to be lost by the sharks which happened to be hungry that year).

    We also fought against the greatly reduced Karaman, whose one province we entered. Upon asking why they had no army, the Karaman(ers? ese? i?) replied they were busy shearing sheep.
    They apparently had our problem, except with a different phylum. By December 1433, we annexed Karaman! Other than that, we were dragged into a war with Ack Kooulooyoonoo, or something like that. We did not fight, and accepted a white peace.

    In the domestic area, we were revitalized by a new resource. Sheep! Now we were a nation of Fish(ermen) wrapped in Wool.

    Other than that, it stayed the same.
    The guy who likely won't win an award for writing, but he sure as heck does it a lot. Well, mostly on other fora. Though he might return. Eventually.

    Oh, and for you inquiring minds, I have NEVER completed a WC.

  7. #7
    General
    DiplomacyEuropa Universalis: Rome

    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    on location
    Posts
    2,162
    Originally posted by Snow King

    In the domestic area, we were revitalized by a new resource. Sheep! Now we were a nation of Fish(ermen) wrapped in Wool.

    Other than that, it stayed the same.

    And, with an adjustment of the INNOVATIVE slide, Haggis comes to Turkey!

  8. #8
    Sometimes They Come Back Paranoid Tsar's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonEuropa Universalis 3Victoria: Revolutions500k club

    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Milwaukee, WI
    Posts
    927
    Teke is an original choice, and I'm enjoying all the fish jokes! It is brain food, though, and so far that shows with your strategy. I wonder who will be the next victim for your growing fish and wool empire?

  9. #9
    Alien Space Bat Judas Maccabeus's Avatar
    200k clubDeus VultEU3 CompleteHearts of Iron IIIHeir to the Throne
    Majesty 2Victoria: RevolutionsRome GoldVictoria 2Mount & Blade: Warband

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Northern Kentucky
    Posts
    3,493
    I wonder who will be the next victim for your growing fish and wool empire?
    Please don't be Trebizond, Please don't be Trebizond, Please don't be Trebizond, please, please...
    SHEEP ARE THE FUTURE

    While Thou Shalt Flourish Great and Free (Saxon England, pt. 3) (Started 11 October 2010)
    Scenario progress: Base maps complete, pops and diplomacy in progress.

  10. #10
    A Rising Tide Gaijin de Moscu's Avatar
    Europa Universalis 3EU3 CompleteHearts of Iron IIIHeir to the ThroneEU3 Napoleon's Ambition
    Europa Universalis IV

    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Geneva - Moscow - Osaka
    Posts
    1,169
    A nice one, Snow King! Very funny

    I like rulers who can laugh at themselves. Prevents madness.
    "Five Dances with Death", An Aztec Historical Fantasy.

    EU-II:
    Lenape World Conquest AAR 2nd Best Megalomaniacal conquest, 2004.
    An Azteca AAR July 2003 OscAAR;
    Broken Spears Silver Medal @ Best AAR Jan - June 2003;

  11. #11
    Originally posted by Judas Maccabeus
    Please don't be Trebizond, Please don't be Trebizond, Please don't be Trebizond, please, please...
    They were annexed by Ack Kooyooloonoo.
    The guy who likely won't win an award for writing, but he sure as heck does it a lot. Well, mostly on other fora. Though he might return. Eventually.

    Oh, and for you inquiring minds, I have NEVER completed a WC.

  12. #12
    Dťserteur
    Europa Universalis 3Europa Universalis: Chronicles

    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Tarragona, EspaŮa
    Posts
    7,135
    Nice AAR and good luck with Teke. It should be Ok as long as you're allied with the monster.

    At least you can make a lot of dishes with fish (thinks about a kind of Forrest Gump list )
    Chi va piano, va sano. Chi va sano, va lontano.

    La version Paradoxienne: Chi va piano, va sano. Chi va sano, va boultano.

  13. #13

    Update!

    1440-1449: The decade started off well, with a revolt in Sheepia (Taurus a.k.a. Karaman), which was put down. We asked why they revolted. They replied that they did not have enough grain.
    We told them to eat fish instead, but I guess we should get a grain province. We made plans....

    In 1441, we gained military access through the Ottomans, and set up our troops along the Dardanelles and the Hellespont. The moment came, and the Ottomans declared war on Byzantium. Thanks to our careful planning, we were at the forefront of the Ottoman armies.

    In the meantime, the Byzantines landed a small army in Fishland (Anytalya a.k.a. Teke), which soon moved on. They did this several times until our ships hurled fish at theirís and forced them
    to leave.

    The Turks took Thrace, and they took Hellas from the Byzantines, while we dealt with a revolt. Sigh. The peasants are so restless.

    Soon after the war, there was a political crises as a tray of fish was accidentally hurled into the faces of the Kaliphís diplomats. Stability dropped again. It is not easy being a nation of wool
    wrapped fish.

    The scientists discovered that you could do something with logs near the frontier besides firewood (Infra level 2 (TPs) ), and an unexpected invention was discovered as the scientists
    realized (unexpectedly) that you could build Goods in a Factory. Oh, wait, you can do that. You have to build them in a Goods Manufactory.
    The guy who likely won't win an award for writing, but he sure as heck does it a lot. Well, mostly on other fora. Though he might return. Eventually.

    Oh, and for you inquiring minds, I have NEVER completed a WC.

  14. #14
    CatAARstroph1c moderator Moderator Stroph1's Avatar
    Diplomacy

    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    3,547
    Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads....

    Nice start. Go Teke!
    More spam, you die! Horribly, horribly!

  15. #15
    I thought goods in the EU2 map were blanket representations, as in fish would represent all seafood, sheep would represent all woolen stuff etc.
    Couldn't Teke diversify and produce... shellfish? Clams are cute.
    An illusion kills only when you believe it is real. The real thing kills regardless you believe in it or not.

  16. #16
    Irken Tallest Arilou's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3Divine Wind
    For The GloryFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest HourHeir to the Throne
    Europa Universalis III: In NomineKing Arthur IIMarch of the EaglesEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: Revolutions
    Europa Universalis: RomeSemper FiSword of the Stars IIVictoria 2Victoria II: A House Divided
    Victoria II: Heart of DarknessRome: Vae VictisWarlock: Master of the ArcaneCK2: Holy Knight500k club
    Europa Universalis IV: Pre-orderWarlock 2: The ExiledEUIV: Wealth of NationsEUIV: Conquest of ParadiseEUIV: Res Publica
    EUIV: Art of War

    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Quasispace
    Posts
    7,071
    Blog Entries
    5
    Excellent AAR.

    I predict your life-expectancy to 3 seconds once the Ottomans Goes East.
    "Man is free; but his freedom does not look like the glorious liberty of the Enlightenment; it is no longer the gift of God. Once again, man stands alone in the universe, responsible for his condition, likely to remain in a lowly state, but free to reach above the stars.."
    -Jean-Paul Sartrť

  17. #17
    LurkAAR Norgesvenn's Avatar
    Arsenal of DemocracyCrusader Kings IIDarkest HourDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3
    Divine WindFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIEuropa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's Ambition
    Victoria: RevolutionsRome GoldSemper FiVictoria 2

    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Middle of nowhere, Norway
    Posts
    3,525
    What the Tekeians need, is some receipes for Norwegian fish dishes like rakfisk...
    Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.

    - John Kenneth Galbraith

  18. #18
    General
    DiplomacyEuropa Universalis: Rome

    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    on location
    Posts
    2,162
    What?!?! No Lutefisk???

  19. #19
    LurkAAR Norgesvenn's Avatar
    Arsenal of DemocracyCrusader Kings IIDarkest HourDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3
    Divine WindFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIEuropa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's Ambition
    Victoria: RevolutionsRome GoldSemper FiVictoria 2

    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Middle of nowhere, Norway
    Posts
    3,525
    Heagarty, come May, and I'll cook up some awful fish dishes for you all in Toronto.
    Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.

    - John Kenneth Galbraith

  20. #20
    General
    DiplomacyEuropa Universalis: Rome

    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    on location
    Posts
    2,162
    I would say I'm looking forward to it, except I once smelled some of that stuff !

    I'll need lots of alcohol to wash that taste away. Do you think they'll have alcohol?

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts