1404-1407, Mongols, Peaches, Paintings and a Palace Coup
24 October 1404
Yes, at last, an Emperor with a sense of direction even if he has the intelligence of a particularly inert panda.
(H – yeah, war, quick let me find one of the horses ... places to go ... mayhem to create)
3 January 1405
Well the New Year party was as boring as ever, but bumped into this on the way home ... never knew that Mongols ran away when you hurl peaches at them.
(H – peaches? She's throwing peaches at people? ... yeah I can understand them running away)
13 July 1405
Spend day on the roof, surely Yongle will be here soon
24 July 1405
More good news, visited roof several times to check if Yongle has arrived yet. I'm sure I'll be back in China soon – or China will be back with me. I am impressed with Yongle, he maybe less intelligent than a jellyfish but he's the man for me.
3 August 1405
& ... was that it? I think I need to check as to what advice the boy is receiving
(H – just what on earth did she expect?)
17 August 1405
Went to bed early ... too depressed for some 'roof-time' Looked at the latest court circular, maybe I will be saved one day ....
9 September 1405
Spent day on roof waiting for Yongle to arrive. Seems his advisers have convinced him he is some sort of military genius.
(H – well call me a cynical old devil if you must but I suspect they simply want him dead)
9 September 1405
Busy day for some.
Well he maybe a military genius but he has the memory of a very slow panda, I mean where is my invite?
9 September 1405
Woken late at night by arrival of another painting – would have preferred the invite, its almost as if they think I'd lower the tone at the wedding?
(H – she's doing this to wind me up isn't she?)
23 December 1405
Kicked a peacock ... I tell you this new year there will be trouble
(H – promises, promises)
24 December 1405
Very impressive, not, I will have words over new year, I mean what does that region have that I don't? You ever seen a decent peach tree in Burma?
5 January 1406
Spent day looking for a peacock to kick – they are all in hiding AND the roof is covered in snow. I think I made my point to Yongle, just need to build an extension for the new art collection.
On reflection ... I don't like this painting ... its just not me.
(H – just not her? It doesn't show a grumpy peacock botherer who chucks peaches at passing Mongols and then complains no one comes to visit?)
29 January 1406
Decided that the painting really did not compensate for failing to conquer the Oirats.
I am now banned from the Court, but it was fun – these humans are sooo gullible, now lets see what else I can manage?
(H – I do wish she'd provide more details but this is starting to improve)
18 May 1407
Exhausted after that, now Yongle has no excuses, at all, I expect to be in China in days. I've tried the Eunuchs (ugh) and the Bureaucrats (boring), this bunch look like my sort of sociopath.
(H – yeah, war, mayhem, things are looking up)