When I mentioned 'armor' I didn't mean 'death-by-corset', but fair enough it made me smile... 
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1689-1690: The AuthAAR shames himself anew.
Wow, that was terrible. Are any of you still there? If so, the AuthAAR would like you to know that he used video for the sole purpose of claiming it. Now, any AAR with video will be filled with complaints of “Hey, he stole Alfred Packer’s idea!” HAHA! Oh, what happens to Crovania? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much!
Erik V Haraldsson Crovan
Emperor of the Crovan Empire, King of the Western Isles, King of the East and West Vikings, King of Germania and King of Vinland and the Skraelingias. Lord of Foppingtonia, Slavelandia and Zanzibar, High Admiral of Gibralter, Life-President of the Sino Trade Company and the Rightful King of All Poland.
After School Special
(4 March 1689 – 21 August 1690)
And now, Kids, we return to the Crovan Broadcasting Corporation’s afterschool special, brought to you by…
…Crovan Strike Menthol! Its like breathing candy!
[video=youtube;1QYlNkb6srQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QYlNkb6srQ[/video]
Emperor of the Crovan Empire, King of the Western Isles, King of the East and West Vikings, King of Germania and King of Vinland and the Skraelingias. Lord of Foppingtonia, Slavelandia and Zanzibar, High Admiral of Gibralter, Life-President of the Sino Trade Company and the Rightful King of All Poland.
After School Special
(4 March 1689 – 21 August 1690)
And now, Kids, we return to the Crovan Broadcasting Corporation’s afterschool special, brought to you by…
…Crovan Strike Menthol! Its like breathing candy!
[video=youtube;1QYlNkb6srQ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QYlNkb6srQ[/video]
Wow, that was terrible. Are any of you still there? If so, the AuthAAR would like you to know that he used video for the sole purpose of claiming it. Now, any AAR with video will be filled with complaints of “Hey, he stole Alfred Packer’s idea!” HAHA! Oh, what happens to Crovania? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much!
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Death by corset? Well, they do say there can be no beauty without a little pain...
Holy awesomeness, Batman! I, too, feel a strong urge to breathe candy now...
Very epic update. I had to pause the video to read all the goodness on the title card.
Nice to see Audun finally meet his match. It has been too long since the last Crovan defenestration. And Emperor Erik? No true Crovan is he. Giving away claims for free? Psh... And styling himself 'God-Emperor'? That seems a bit excessive. In a non-Crovan kinda way.
Very epic update. I had to pause the video to read all the goodness on the title card.
Nice to see Audun finally meet his match. It has been too long since the last Crovan defenestration. And Emperor Erik? No true Crovan is he. Giving away claims for free? Psh... And styling himself 'God-Emperor'? That seems a bit excessive. In a non-Crovan kinda way.
Oh, dear... this AAR meets new euh... breadths... yes, breaths...
Oh, and I wonder Mr. AuthAAR, what does Mrs. AuthAAR think of all this?
Oh, and I wonder Mr. AuthAAR, what does Mrs. AuthAAR think of all this?
I would have enjoyed it much more with subtitles.
Although I like thy voice.
I have disturbing noises at home, such as an obnoxious brother.
Furthermore, those were the best three minutes I have had during this week.
Although I like thy voice.
I have disturbing noises at home, such as an obnoxious brother.
Furthermore, those were the best three minutes I have had during this week.
That. Was. AWESOME!
I don't know how you manage to keep outdoing yourself, but keep at it!
I don't know how you manage to keep outdoing yourself, but keep at it!
Thanks!Quite true. Or a little air
Thanks I wish I'd laid that out better. breathe candy makes me smile
Holy awesomeness, Batman! I, too, feel a strong urge to breathe candy now...
Very epic update. I had to pause the video to read all the goodness on the title card.
Nice to see Audun finally meet his match. It has been too long since the last Crovan defenestration. And Emperor Erik? No true Crovan is he. Giving away claims for free? Psh... And styling himself 'God-Emperor'? That seems a bit excessive. In a non-Crovan kinda way.
Thanks. We did need a defenestration. I'm rather happy with the response the video got. I will probably do it again in the future (though, you wouldn't beleive the work that went into making something that 'shoddy!'
Oh, dear... this AAR meets new euh... breadths... yes, breaths...
Oh, and I wonder Mr. AuthAAR, what does Mrs. AuthAAR think of all this?
Mrs. AuthAAR is blissfully unware of the particulars. She just knows he is doing his 'nerd thing' again.
Thanks. I thought about subtitles, but with the technology used being a Flip Video, black and white printer, Scissors, MS Paint and Google Images, there wasn't much I could do.Thank you!
Now I'm going to start getting a big head
Now you've done it, next time we'll want special effects!
:O Oh no! I've raised the bar...and after all these years of carefully lowering it!
thanks
I'm glad you like this. Keeping the various murders, violence and mayhem fresh is tough sometimes, so I like that this youtube thing gives me another way to approach things.
1690-1694: And now back to the old 'boring' style
So, Hough’s scheme to place his son on the throne is foiled at the last moment…by Portuguese peasants! Who is Caitilin? Will she get the throne? Will Mikael make good on his threats? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much!
The Regency
In Which A Monarch Is Selected
(22August 1690 – 26 May 1694)
“In seventeen hundred and ninety six,
Build your homes with rotted sticks.
For then great wars shall be planned,
And fire shall sweep o’er the land.”
“Ach. Whose idea was it to hire this woman? She is intolerably depressing.”
“Perspective, Mikael. She hasn’t murdered anyone yet. And also, we couldn’t find anyone else to take the job.
“Still. Mebbe we can rip out her tongue?”
“Oh stop it. You can’t have a mute and illiterate Assistant Laureate. How could she pass on her poetry?”
“Wait, wasn’t there a mime Assistant Laureate once? And what about Audun? He never did any poems…we just reclassified his murders as ‘performance art.’ I think we have a precedent.”
Mother Shipton glared at Mikael. “Wait. Another prophecy just came to me.
“A dairy maid, a bonnie lass,
shall kick this Mikael in the ass.
And five generations he shall breed,
before one male child doth learn to read.”
“Okay, enough games. We came here to discuss ending the Regency. I know that’s not a popular concept, since, you know, being Regents is lots of fun, but we really have to do something.”
“Well, as we all know, the direct Royal line has passed on. While there is still a Royal line in Portugal, they have enough on their plate. And as for the Irish Crovans. Well, they are all worthless, backstabbing, squabbling monsters. We certainly can’t consider them.
Clearly, we need an Emperor. Clearly that Emperor must be Crovan. Since there aren’t any potential Royal replacements, I think we need to think outside the box. I nominate my son Ottokar. All in favor?”
“Aye”
“Aye”
“Is this where I’m supposed to say ‘aye?’
“Er…well, yes.”
“Okay. ‘Aye.’ Now where’s the drink you promised me?”
“Well, that’s close enough, I guess that makes Ottokar the new…”
Suddenly, Alice burst into the room. “Great news everyone! The Portuguese rose up and expelled the Crovan Royal Family. Queen Caitilin has been deposed!”
“Well what the Hell’s so great about that?”
“Think about it: Our objection to the Portuguese Crovans was that they would link us to a lesser nation. Now that they’ve been kicked out, we can simply place them on the throne. The Pal-Crovans are direct descendants of Duke Erlend himself, so its even a Restoration of the Erlend-Crovan line which lost the Empire in the 1380’s.
So you see? The taint of ‘faux-Crovans’ can be removed and the Empire can be restored all at once. I’ve taken the liberty of summoning Caitilin for an Imperial Coronation.”
…
“Well shit.”
In Which A Monarch Is Selected
(22August 1690 – 26 May 1694)
“In seventeen hundred and ninety six,
Build your homes with rotted sticks.
For then great wars shall be planned,
And fire shall sweep o’er the land.”
“Ach. Whose idea was it to hire this woman? She is intolerably depressing.”
“Perspective, Mikael. She hasn’t murdered anyone yet. And also, we couldn’t find anyone else to take the job.
“Still. Mebbe we can rip out her tongue?”
“Oh stop it. You can’t have a mute and illiterate Assistant Laureate. How could she pass on her poetry?”
“Wait, wasn’t there a mime Assistant Laureate once? And what about Audun? He never did any poems…we just reclassified his murders as ‘performance art.’ I think we have a precedent.”
Mother Shipton glared at Mikael. “Wait. Another prophecy just came to me.
“A dairy maid, a bonnie lass,
shall kick this Mikael in the ass.
And five generations he shall breed,
before one male child doth learn to read.”
“Okay, enough games. We came here to discuss ending the Regency. I know that’s not a popular concept, since, you know, being Regents is lots of fun, but we really have to do something.”
“Well, as we all know, the direct Royal line has passed on. While there is still a Royal line in Portugal, they have enough on their plate. And as for the Irish Crovans. Well, they are all worthless, backstabbing, squabbling monsters. We certainly can’t consider them.
Clearly, we need an Emperor. Clearly that Emperor must be Crovan. Since there aren’t any potential Royal replacements, I think we need to think outside the box. I nominate my son Ottokar. All in favor?”
“Aye”
“Aye”
“Is this where I’m supposed to say ‘aye?’
“Er…well, yes.”
“Okay. ‘Aye.’ Now where’s the drink you promised me?”
“Well, that’s close enough, I guess that makes Ottokar the new…”
Suddenly, Alice burst into the room. “Great news everyone! The Portuguese rose up and expelled the Crovan Royal Family. Queen Caitilin has been deposed!”
“Well what the Hell’s so great about that?”
“Think about it: Our objection to the Portuguese Crovans was that they would link us to a lesser nation. Now that they’ve been kicked out, we can simply place them on the throne. The Pal-Crovans are direct descendants of Duke Erlend himself, so its even a Restoration of the Erlend-Crovan line which lost the Empire in the 1380’s.
So you see? The taint of ‘faux-Crovans’ can be removed and the Empire can be restored all at once. I’ve taken the liberty of summoning Caitilin for an Imperial Coronation.”
…
“Well shit.”
So, Hough’s scheme to place his son on the throne is foiled at the last moment…by Portuguese peasants! Who is Caitilin? Will she get the throne? Will Mikael make good on his threats? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much!
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Those Portuguese Crovans better behave like real Crovans and not like southern civilised Crovans!