Personally, I find myself typically playing Eight Years' War of Resistance, Equestria at War, or Red Flood. I've tried some other big names but didn't particularly enjoy the gameplay.
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I can fully recommend Equestria at War. It's insanely well made. It seems absurd, but it's really, really fun.The only mods I've used so far are graphical tweaks (flags, portraits).
One of these days I should give bigger mods (and even save imports) a try.
Ah, Lamp's eqpt icons! Absolutely essential as well.