Somewhere in this forum, I will launch my second attempt...1 January (or thereabouts) 2011
Last edited:
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
----------
Historia Vandelus
A History of the Vandals
by Agrippa the Younger
This edition (c) 1974, Penguin Classics, Inc.
Translation (c) 1933 by Archibald von Crovan
and published by Viken Press, Norway.
Table of Contents:
Editor's Notes
Apologia
On The Laws Of The Vandals
On The Religion and Clans Of The Vandals
Last edited:
Editor's Notes:
Archibald von Crovan
On the Importance of the text:
While much was known about the early Germanic Tribes, Agrippa's account of life among the Vandals ranks among the most important contributions to our understanding of their way of life. While Tacitus wrote at length about the tribes, he never travelled there personally, so a great deal of his information is suspect at best and nonsensical at worst. Later Roman historians tended to hold a distorted image of the Barbarian Tribes simply because their interactions tended to be of a violent and final nature. Sore losers, if you will. While Agrippa is also a sore loser, he is not bemoaning the destruction of his way of life, but rather his personal imprisonment at their hands. So, while he is still presenting a distorted view of Vandal life, it has to be at least somewhat more reliable than, say, Lucius Aemellius, who was forced to marry his daughters to the butter-smeared barbarians and give them his farm.
On Agrippa the Younger:
We know little about Agrippa himself. We know that either his father or an uncle was also named Agrippa. We also know he was Greek and considered Syracuse his home city. He was not a Roman Citizen, but lived within lands owned by the Republic. His family were merchants and, we also know, he participated in a trading voyage to North Europe, apparantly in hopes of securing part of the valuable Amber trade. We also know he was waylayed by, and imprisoned by, the Vandal tribes for a period of around 40 years. His learning apparantly impressed the chiefs who wanted him to write a fancy history of their peoples. We know that he took his manuscript with him when he finally escaped the Vandals and made it home to Syracuse, where he died an old and bitter man. Finally, we know he hated the Vandals with a virulent passion.
Notes on the Translation:
Agrippa's hatred for the Vandals and everything they stood for caused him to use language unfit for the daintier sex and, as they have been allowed increasingly to inhabit the halls of Historical Learning and, therefore, may stumble across this text while studying the history of Sewing, Food Preparation or other Womanly Studies, I have chosen to alter the language in such a way as to avoid as much swooning as possible while still holding true to the spirit of Agrippa's work.
Archibald von Crovan
On the Importance of the text:
While much was known about the early Germanic Tribes, Agrippa's account of life among the Vandals ranks among the most important contributions to our understanding of their way of life. While Tacitus wrote at length about the tribes, he never travelled there personally, so a great deal of his information is suspect at best and nonsensical at worst. Later Roman historians tended to hold a distorted image of the Barbarian Tribes simply because their interactions tended to be of a violent and final nature. Sore losers, if you will. While Agrippa is also a sore loser, he is not bemoaning the destruction of his way of life, but rather his personal imprisonment at their hands. So, while he is still presenting a distorted view of Vandal life, it has to be at least somewhat more reliable than, say, Lucius Aemellius, who was forced to marry his daughters to the butter-smeared barbarians and give them his farm.
On Agrippa the Younger:
We know little about Agrippa himself. We know that either his father or an uncle was also named Agrippa. We also know he was Greek and considered Syracuse his home city. He was not a Roman Citizen, but lived within lands owned by the Republic. His family were merchants and, we also know, he participated in a trading voyage to North Europe, apparantly in hopes of securing part of the valuable Amber trade. We also know he was waylayed by, and imprisoned by, the Vandal tribes for a period of around 40 years. His learning apparantly impressed the chiefs who wanted him to write a fancy history of their peoples. We know that he took his manuscript with him when he finally escaped the Vandals and made it home to Syracuse, where he died an old and bitter man. Finally, we know he hated the Vandals with a virulent passion.
Notes on the Translation:
Agrippa's hatred for the Vandals and everything they stood for caused him to use language unfit for the daintier sex and, as they have been allowed increasingly to inhabit the halls of Historical Learning and, therefore, may stumble across this text while studying the history of Sewing, Food Preparation or other Womanly Studies, I have chosen to alter the language in such a way as to avoid as much swooning as possible while still holding true to the spirit of Agrippa's work.
Apologia
Apologia
I did not start out to write histories, no, I am of merchant stock and sought only to join my father in his business. When I set out from Syracuse in 530 AVC (223 B.C.) and headed into the wilds of Europa it was not to tread in the foot-steps of Herodotus, no I and my associates sought the fabled Amber-fields of the North, where great frozen rivers of the stone lay out for all to see. I admit, I did wish to see the fabled lands where the eye cannot see for the great flows of feathers, but never did I plan to write my adventures or learn more of the Barbarian’s customs than was absolutely necessary. Indeed, Hermes seemed to smile upon our venture, for we passed to the north at great pace, moving into the Barbarous lands of the Quadii and the Macromanni within months. We had many fine goods, such as steel, dyes, and butter which these horrid beings had much use for.
Soon, we were well into the lands of the vile Vandals, and here it was my troubles began. Soothsayers and Oracles have since told me that my ancestors must have perpetrated a vile sacrilege against some god. They suspect Hermes himself, for there could be no other reason for my mission to tarry for forty years. I brought along some of Plato’s works and Thucydides’ history of the Peloponnesian War. While watching the grotesque chieftain of this nightmarish tribe of troglodytes smear our wares about his cheeks and hair, one of their shamans noticed me writing notes.
At first, they accused me of casting a curse on the chief, a misunderstanding which caused no end of mischief to my slaves, who were eaten as a result. In time, I was able to make clear to them that I was merely reading a history of our great heroes and their wars, something these illiterate beasts could never understand. Or at least, I thought they couldn’t.
Once the chief grasped that he could have the deeds of his people magically contained on this scroll and that, more over, this was something all the fashionable nations were doing, he ordered me clapped in chains at once. I feared they would dine upon me, as they had my slaves, but no, there was a worse fate in store. I would never be allowed to leave until I had written a comprehensive history of the Vandal Tribes from their foundation until the present day. A task I was less than excited to perform, but since they executed the rest of my companions in very undignified ways, I felt compelled to try my best and hope, someday, to return to blessed Syracuse.
So, I do not claim to the wisdom, wit and adventurous spirit of Herodotus or Xenophon and I do not claim to the lofty subject matter of Thucydides or Plato. No, this is a book I have no wish to write about a people who deserve nothing more that utter contempt.
Apologia
I did not start out to write histories, no, I am of merchant stock and sought only to join my father in his business. When I set out from Syracuse in 530 AVC (223 B.C.) and headed into the wilds of Europa it was not to tread in the foot-steps of Herodotus, no I and my associates sought the fabled Amber-fields of the North, where great frozen rivers of the stone lay out for all to see. I admit, I did wish to see the fabled lands where the eye cannot see for the great flows of feathers, but never did I plan to write my adventures or learn more of the Barbarian’s customs than was absolutely necessary. Indeed, Hermes seemed to smile upon our venture, for we passed to the north at great pace, moving into the Barbarous lands of the Quadii and the Macromanni within months. We had many fine goods, such as steel, dyes, and butter which these horrid beings had much use for.
Soon, we were well into the lands of the vile Vandals, and here it was my troubles began. Soothsayers and Oracles have since told me that my ancestors must have perpetrated a vile sacrilege against some god. They suspect Hermes himself, for there could be no other reason for my mission to tarry for forty years. I brought along some of Plato’s works and Thucydides’ history of the Peloponnesian War. While watching the grotesque chieftain of this nightmarish tribe of troglodytes smear our wares about his cheeks and hair, one of their shamans noticed me writing notes.
At first, they accused me of casting a curse on the chief, a misunderstanding which caused no end of mischief to my slaves, who were eaten as a result. In time, I was able to make clear to them that I was merely reading a history of our great heroes and their wars, something these illiterate beasts could never understand. Or at least, I thought they couldn’t.
Once the chief grasped that he could have the deeds of his people magically contained on this scroll and that, more over, this was something all the fashionable nations were doing, he ordered me clapped in chains at once. I feared they would dine upon me, as they had my slaves, but no, there was a worse fate in store. I would never be allowed to leave until I had written a comprehensive history of the Vandal Tribes from their foundation until the present day. A task I was less than excited to perform, but since they executed the rest of my companions in very undignified ways, I felt compelled to try my best and hope, someday, to return to blessed Syracuse.
So, I do not claim to the wisdom, wit and adventurous spirit of Herodotus or Xenophon and I do not claim to the lofty subject matter of Thucydides or Plato. No, this is a book I have no wish to write about a people who deserve nothing more that utter contempt.
A great couple of lines this. What an inspiring start to the subject!Alfred Packer said:
It doesn't have "adventure" in itEnglish Patriot said:Quite a change! Looking good
Great start, looking forward to more.
Thanks everyone...that was the intro, and I'm glad you liked it...now it gets a bit meatier...1500 words more or less
On The Laws Of The Vandals
On The Laws Of The Vandals
The Vandals, as should not surprise anyone, follow few laws as recognized by the civilized world. Indeed, many animal societies, such as a wake of vultures or colony of rats, seem to possess a far more civilized grasp of Law and its uses. In part, this is because, lacking a written record, it is difficult for anyone outside their bizarre priesthood and their “Law-Speakers” to know what exactly is legal and what is not.
Settling Legal Disputes
Traditionally, it seems, these cretins simply followed the “Blood Feud” method of dispute settlement, wherein the injured party attempts to kill anyone related to, friends with, or slaves of, the injurer. The injurer, now an injured party, follows up by attempting to kill anyone related to, friends with, or slaves of, the new injurer. This process is repeated until one side runs out of potential victims. This method is still widely popular today and is used to solve any offenses, such as rape, murder and theft but also to decide inheritance cases, property ownership, and possession of government offices.
The Chiefdom
Rulership, for those unlucky enough to have to exercise it over these vile beasts, is a hap-hazard affair. Besides the priests, whom I will dwell on later, the head-ruler over the Vandals is known as the “Chief.” The Chiefdom is not hereditary and any of the seven recognized Clans may claim the title. Occasionally, the title remains within a single clan for more than one generation, but this is rare. Since it is not hereditary, it would be easy to guess that personal power, fame, renown, justness or good bloodlines might be a qualification for high office, but that guess would be wrong.
The electors, such as they are, are not a set group of elders or a poll of all the citizens. It isn’t even the army, as such, who decide rulership over the tribe. No, that would all make sense, or at least be somewhat orderly, and that is not the Vandal Way. Instead, there is a flurry of activity wherein, at the moment of the old chief’s death, every claimant for the supreme authority promptly gathers every supporter they can and moves on the capitol. There is usually a burst of murder, pillage and other crimes as the rivals try to damage one another’s support bases and, of course, any “wrongs” done by the previous Chief must be addressed through the “Blood-Feud.” Often there are furious clashes of arms between the claimants and the priests utter their terrible curses in support of whichever maniac seems most likely to reward them.
In the end, the rivals die, back down, or pledge themselves to another and, eventually, only one man is left to claim the throne. Occasionally, if two rivals are too strong to crush one another, they will support an elderly or otherwise pathetic individual so as to put off their clash. Sometimes the rest of the tribe, in order to avoid the self-destruction of the tribe, will join to back a third candidate. Occasionally, this process does not degenerate into open Civil War, but that is probably the best thing that can be said about it.
Of course, being a popular commander or a wealthy and powerful individual, or the relative of a chief does not hurt ones chances, but it does not help as much as one might expect, for the citizens of this tribe pledge to a claimant based on how to best help their own prospects and not out of any sense of civic duty.
The new chief then settles any Blood-Feuds he might have, slaying rival clans in a frenzy of blood, and appointing his cronies to the few government offices the Vandals possess. He also appoints the most important officials of the realm: the General of the Armies, who has overall command of the Vandal Horde, a job that only the most foolish Vandal Chiefs entrust to others (although some Generals have appointed assistants, this is rare), and also the Thanes, who rule outlying villages and provinces in the Chief’s name. Attempts to make these powerful positions hereditary have largely failed for the same reason that the Chiefdom itself isn’t: these uncivilized brutes cannot abide anything that smacks of order or reason. That is, with the curious exception of the Law-Speakers.
The Law-Speakers
There are a class of men known as the Law-Speakers. They are not truly priests and have no special communion with the unseen world. What they are is a strange, idiotic, and therefore a wholly Vandal method of attempting “Civilization.”
It would seem that I am not the only Greek to survive his encounter with the Vandals. During the reign of Andica Marbodid, an absurdly common name, but I think he was the second of that name, Andica developed a love of Greece and Greek Culture, so he actually forbade the Vandals from murdering Greek Merchants and eating their brains. The shamans and priests had insisted this was a great method of learning Greek methods of ship-building. For a land-locked people, this bizarre love of the sea is almost perverse. Indeed, many of their songs and poems sing of the beauty of the sea and glorify life on the oceans, despite the fact that no Vandal, as far as I know, has ever even seen an actual boat, besides their crude and ineffective canoes, and the number who have seen the Ocean could be counted on one hand.
This Chief, having fallen in love with Greek Civilization, decided that the Vandals should have an orderly and organized code of laws just like the Greeks do, so he charged two minor families of Freemen to surrender their farms and spend their days with these captive Greeks, learning their law-codes, committing them to memory and, whenever a dispute arose, settling it immediately with their knowledge of these laws.
Eventually, this Andica died or was murdered, and these two families of Law-Speakers were having trouble remembering the entire code, so they took the advice of the priests and ate the brains of the Greeks in hopes the law-code would then pass into their heads. It did not work, of course, but rather than admit their fault, the Law-Speakers pretend to have a mastery of Greek-Law and fearlessly enter into any dispute with their partial knowledge imperfectly passed on to succeeding generations.
Law-Speakers in Action
An example of a Law-Speaker in action, shows quite readily the pointlessness of this revered institution. A slave, by name of Andica, wed a freewoman and by her had several children. It came to pass that Andica and the freewoman had a falling out, so she sold him to a citizen. The citizen then claimed the children because, as they were the children of his slave, they must be his property as well. He sent several armed supporters to claim the children, who were beaten off by the armed brothers of the free-woman. As the citizen led an attack on the freewoman’s farm, a Law-Speaker happened to be riding by. Boldly galloping between the two sides, he bade them halt so he could investigate the matter. The citizen pressed his claim for ownership of the children based on the father’s servitude while the freewoman claimed them because they came from her free womb.
The Law-Speaker, having heard both sides thought for a long time. Occasionally you could read his lips as he tried to remember a phrase. He said it to himself differently each time. Slowly he spoke, after what seemed to be hours. “I know that if a freeman has children with a slave, the children are slaves. I also know that if a freewoman and a slave have children and the freewoman dies, the children are considered the fathers, and therefore slaves…but if the woman lives.” His voice trailed off while he thought.
Then the vile creature sprung his horse into action, riding down and killing the freewoman. “This woman has died, thus the law makes these children their father’s and therefore slaves.”
Satisfied, he rode off.
I suspect Law-Speakers are considered outside the bounds of the Blood-Feud, for if they were not, they would be long since extinct.
On The Laws Of The Vandals
The Vandals, as should not surprise anyone, follow few laws as recognized by the civilized world. Indeed, many animal societies, such as a wake of vultures or colony of rats, seem to possess a far more civilized grasp of Law and its uses. In part, this is because, lacking a written record, it is difficult for anyone outside their bizarre priesthood and their “Law-Speakers” to know what exactly is legal and what is not.
Settling Legal Disputes
Traditionally, it seems, these cretins simply followed the “Blood Feud” method of dispute settlement, wherein the injured party attempts to kill anyone related to, friends with, or slaves of, the injurer. The injurer, now an injured party, follows up by attempting to kill anyone related to, friends with, or slaves of, the new injurer. This process is repeated until one side runs out of potential victims. This method is still widely popular today and is used to solve any offenses, such as rape, murder and theft but also to decide inheritance cases, property ownership, and possession of government offices.
The Chiefdom
Rulership, for those unlucky enough to have to exercise it over these vile beasts, is a hap-hazard affair. Besides the priests, whom I will dwell on later, the head-ruler over the Vandals is known as the “Chief.” The Chiefdom is not hereditary and any of the seven recognized Clans may claim the title. Occasionally, the title remains within a single clan for more than one generation, but this is rare. Since it is not hereditary, it would be easy to guess that personal power, fame, renown, justness or good bloodlines might be a qualification for high office, but that guess would be wrong.
The electors, such as they are, are not a set group of elders or a poll of all the citizens. It isn’t even the army, as such, who decide rulership over the tribe. No, that would all make sense, or at least be somewhat orderly, and that is not the Vandal Way. Instead, there is a flurry of activity wherein, at the moment of the old chief’s death, every claimant for the supreme authority promptly gathers every supporter they can and moves on the capitol. There is usually a burst of murder, pillage and other crimes as the rivals try to damage one another’s support bases and, of course, any “wrongs” done by the previous Chief must be addressed through the “Blood-Feud.” Often there are furious clashes of arms between the claimants and the priests utter their terrible curses in support of whichever maniac seems most likely to reward them.
In the end, the rivals die, back down, or pledge themselves to another and, eventually, only one man is left to claim the throne. Occasionally, if two rivals are too strong to crush one another, they will support an elderly or otherwise pathetic individual so as to put off their clash. Sometimes the rest of the tribe, in order to avoid the self-destruction of the tribe, will join to back a third candidate. Occasionally, this process does not degenerate into open Civil War, but that is probably the best thing that can be said about it.
Of course, being a popular commander or a wealthy and powerful individual, or the relative of a chief does not hurt ones chances, but it does not help as much as one might expect, for the citizens of this tribe pledge to a claimant based on how to best help their own prospects and not out of any sense of civic duty.
The new chief then settles any Blood-Feuds he might have, slaying rival clans in a frenzy of blood, and appointing his cronies to the few government offices the Vandals possess. He also appoints the most important officials of the realm: the General of the Armies, who has overall command of the Vandal Horde, a job that only the most foolish Vandal Chiefs entrust to others (although some Generals have appointed assistants, this is rare), and also the Thanes, who rule outlying villages and provinces in the Chief’s name. Attempts to make these powerful positions hereditary have largely failed for the same reason that the Chiefdom itself isn’t: these uncivilized brutes cannot abide anything that smacks of order or reason. That is, with the curious exception of the Law-Speakers.
The Law-Speakers
There are a class of men known as the Law-Speakers. They are not truly priests and have no special communion with the unseen world. What they are is a strange, idiotic, and therefore a wholly Vandal method of attempting “Civilization.”
It would seem that I am not the only Greek to survive his encounter with the Vandals. During the reign of Andica Marbodid, an absurdly common name, but I think he was the second of that name, Andica developed a love of Greece and Greek Culture, so he actually forbade the Vandals from murdering Greek Merchants and eating their brains. The shamans and priests had insisted this was a great method of learning Greek methods of ship-building. For a land-locked people, this bizarre love of the sea is almost perverse. Indeed, many of their songs and poems sing of the beauty of the sea and glorify life on the oceans, despite the fact that no Vandal, as far as I know, has ever even seen an actual boat, besides their crude and ineffective canoes, and the number who have seen the Ocean could be counted on one hand.
This Chief, having fallen in love with Greek Civilization, decided that the Vandals should have an orderly and organized code of laws just like the Greeks do, so he charged two minor families of Freemen to surrender their farms and spend their days with these captive Greeks, learning their law-codes, committing them to memory and, whenever a dispute arose, settling it immediately with their knowledge of these laws.
Eventually, this Andica died or was murdered, and these two families of Law-Speakers were having trouble remembering the entire code, so they took the advice of the priests and ate the brains of the Greeks in hopes the law-code would then pass into their heads. It did not work, of course, but rather than admit their fault, the Law-Speakers pretend to have a mastery of Greek-Law and fearlessly enter into any dispute with their partial knowledge imperfectly passed on to succeeding generations.
Law-Speakers in Action
An example of a Law-Speaker in action, shows quite readily the pointlessness of this revered institution. A slave, by name of Andica, wed a freewoman and by her had several children. It came to pass that Andica and the freewoman had a falling out, so she sold him to a citizen. The citizen then claimed the children because, as they were the children of his slave, they must be his property as well. He sent several armed supporters to claim the children, who were beaten off by the armed brothers of the free-woman. As the citizen led an attack on the freewoman’s farm, a Law-Speaker happened to be riding by. Boldly galloping between the two sides, he bade them halt so he could investigate the matter. The citizen pressed his claim for ownership of the children based on the father’s servitude while the freewoman claimed them because they came from her free womb.
The Law-Speaker, having heard both sides thought for a long time. Occasionally you could read his lips as he tried to remember a phrase. He said it to himself differently each time. Slowly he spoke, after what seemed to be hours. “I know that if a freeman has children with a slave, the children are slaves. I also know that if a freewoman and a slave have children and the freewoman dies, the children are considered the fathers, and therefore slaves…but if the woman lives.” His voice trailed off while he thought.
Then the vile creature sprung his horse into action, riding down and killing the freewoman. “This woman has died, thus the law makes these children their father’s and therefore slaves.”
Satisfied, he rode off.
I suspect Law-Speakers are considered outside the bounds of the Blood-Feud, for if they were not, they would be long since extinct.
Last edited:
Barbarians will be barbaric, I guess
Law-speakers of course = lawyers. No wonder they are so nasty.
Law-speakers of course = lawyers. No wonder they are so nasty.
Thanks guys...still another update or 2 before the game begins, but one of those updates is coming right now!
On The Religion and Clans Of The Vandals
On The Religion and Clans Of The Vandals
The Vandals seem to worship many of the same gods as the Greeks do, although they call them unusual names. Chief among their gods is Jupiter, whom they call Wodin. In their minds, he is as violent and irrational as they are. Much devotion is heaped upon Mars as well, which is strange when one considers how inept the Vandals have proven themselves in warfare. Perhaps they are hoping for future blessings from the one they call Thunor.
In typically Vandal fashion, they have muddled and confused many gods, worshipping a one armed man, perhaps Vulcan, as their god of Discipline in Warfare, while confining Freya, who from the racy images and dances associated with her is clearly Venus, to some odd cult status as goddess of something or other, but clearly not love. At any rate, trying to sort out their gods is too much of a muddle. Suffice to say that whatever they are doing, they are doing wrong as the gods routinely and consistently visit them with curses whenever they come seeking blessings. The Vandals, of course, take no notice of this.
The Priesthood
Unlike the Law-Speakers, anyone may be called to the priesthood. Indeed, while I spent time with these people, I saw two women, one a chief’s wife and one a daughter of a chief, serve as high priestess. The role of high priest is not a hereditary one and is one of the offices appointed by the Chief. Usually serving for life, the high priest’s chief role is to consult the Omens, make ineffectual and insulting sacrifices to the gods, and share with the Tribe the latest punishment the gods have visited on them for their foolishness. The high priest, and the other priests, are strangely enamored with the consumption of human brains as a way to transmit knowledge. In spite of all evidence to the contrary, they continue to do this frequently. I later learned that this is why they ate my slaves, in hopes that doing so would give them information about my “curse” and also insight into how to overturn it.
Origins Of The Vandals
Many Vandals, and especially the high priests and Chiefs, claim a divine origin for their tribe and, while I find their divinity highly unlikely, I do find their myth strangely fitting. It is said, among their people, that the god Loki, who I cannot properly place within the known realm of gods, had relations with a giant. The child they produced was a giant snake, one so large that it stretches the length of the world, wrapping about the ocean and holding the tip of its tail within its mouth. I find this highly unlikely, but nevertheless, it is what they claim.
At any rate, this creature lives in the ocean and, for some reason involving a cat disguise, it hates the god Mars-Thunor with all of its might. I think Thunor embarrassed the snake by making it wear a costume. As I said, the Vandals and their myths are a confusing muddle. At any rate, the snake was ready and waiting for a rematch with the god.
The Vandals claim that one day, Thunor and his friend, also a giant, were fishing when they accidentally hooked this giant snake. While Thunor attempted to whack it to death with his hammer, the snake attempted to poison him. The two thrashed about causing great destruction and damage. Meanwhile, the giant was busy panicking. It was, after all, his boat.
Eventually, the giant cut Thunor’s line and managed to shove the serpent out of the boat. Still, the battle had been ferocious and the snake and Thunor were both injured, each losing precisely seven drops of blood. Each drop of Thunor’s blood mingled with a drop of the World Serpent’s blood and then with a drop of the snake’s venom. These mingled drops congealed into seven humans.
In his shock and disgust, Thunor hurled all seven of these newly created and highly confused humans off the boat, leaving them to drown. Impervious to their pleas, Thunor and the giant rowed home to tell every one the magnificent story of “the one that got away.” Meanwhile, Loki, who had been concerned about the conflict between his son the snake and Thunor, noticed his struggling grandchildren and sent them several eels to convey them to shore. The humans, once they realized they would live, sacrificed the eels to Loki, not realizing they were also his kin. Naturally, their first act of reverence would prove offensive.
The seven then named themselves and each gave birth to the clans which rule over the Vandals today. The priests sort of skip over where the first seven Vandal Women came from. I’m guessing more snakes. Still, relationship to the founding Vandals is a prerequisite for citizenship, all others being merely Freemen or slaves, so clan membership does serve a role besides just presenting “hit-lists” for blood feuds.
The Seven Clans
The first seven Vandals each have a clan named for them. Listed in order of prestige, Marbod, who was formed from a drop of head blood from Thunor, founded the Marbodid Clan. Amand, from torso blood, formed the Amandid Clan. Gelimer, from arm blood, formed the Gelimerids. Andi, from crotch blood, formed the Andicids. Malaric, from thigh blood, formed the Malaricids. Gerold, from foot blood, form the Geroldids. Finally, Dagaric, formed from arse blood, founded the Dagaricids.
Traditionally, the Marbodid Clan and the Andicid Clan have vied for leadership over the Vandal body, although the Amandid, Malaricid and Gelimerid Clans have enjoyed periods of dominance. The Geroldids are sometimes allowed to link with the big players, but the Dagaricids are largely ignored and, except for their dubious divinity, might as well be Freemen.
While every one of these clans has, at some level, a permanent Blood-Feud going on with every other clan, they do tend to focus more on fresh wounds. The Marbodids are still plotting a violent revenge for some wrong-doing an Amandid committed against them as Chief. While many might try to counsel these Vandals from such violence and pointlessness, I view every dead Vandal as a gift to the gods and so encourage such Clan hatreds at every opportunity.
On The Religion and Clans Of The Vandals
The Vandals seem to worship many of the same gods as the Greeks do, although they call them unusual names. Chief among their gods is Jupiter, whom they call Wodin. In their minds, he is as violent and irrational as they are. Much devotion is heaped upon Mars as well, which is strange when one considers how inept the Vandals have proven themselves in warfare. Perhaps they are hoping for future blessings from the one they call Thunor.
In typically Vandal fashion, they have muddled and confused many gods, worshipping a one armed man, perhaps Vulcan, as their god of Discipline in Warfare, while confining Freya, who from the racy images and dances associated with her is clearly Venus, to some odd cult status as goddess of something or other, but clearly not love. At any rate, trying to sort out their gods is too much of a muddle. Suffice to say that whatever they are doing, they are doing wrong as the gods routinely and consistently visit them with curses whenever they come seeking blessings. The Vandals, of course, take no notice of this.
The Priesthood
Unlike the Law-Speakers, anyone may be called to the priesthood. Indeed, while I spent time with these people, I saw two women, one a chief’s wife and one a daughter of a chief, serve as high priestess. The role of high priest is not a hereditary one and is one of the offices appointed by the Chief. Usually serving for life, the high priest’s chief role is to consult the Omens, make ineffectual and insulting sacrifices to the gods, and share with the Tribe the latest punishment the gods have visited on them for their foolishness. The high priest, and the other priests, are strangely enamored with the consumption of human brains as a way to transmit knowledge. In spite of all evidence to the contrary, they continue to do this frequently. I later learned that this is why they ate my slaves, in hopes that doing so would give them information about my “curse” and also insight into how to overturn it.
Origins Of The Vandals
Many Vandals, and especially the high priests and Chiefs, claim a divine origin for their tribe and, while I find their divinity highly unlikely, I do find their myth strangely fitting. It is said, among their people, that the god Loki, who I cannot properly place within the known realm of gods, had relations with a giant. The child they produced was a giant snake, one so large that it stretches the length of the world, wrapping about the ocean and holding the tip of its tail within its mouth. I find this highly unlikely, but nevertheless, it is what they claim.
At any rate, this creature lives in the ocean and, for some reason involving a cat disguise, it hates the god Mars-Thunor with all of its might. I think Thunor embarrassed the snake by making it wear a costume. As I said, the Vandals and their myths are a confusing muddle. At any rate, the snake was ready and waiting for a rematch with the god.
The Vandals claim that one day, Thunor and his friend, also a giant, were fishing when they accidentally hooked this giant snake. While Thunor attempted to whack it to death with his hammer, the snake attempted to poison him. The two thrashed about causing great destruction and damage. Meanwhile, the giant was busy panicking. It was, after all, his boat.
Eventually, the giant cut Thunor’s line and managed to shove the serpent out of the boat. Still, the battle had been ferocious and the snake and Thunor were both injured, each losing precisely seven drops of blood. Each drop of Thunor’s blood mingled with a drop of the World Serpent’s blood and then with a drop of the snake’s venom. These mingled drops congealed into seven humans.
In his shock and disgust, Thunor hurled all seven of these newly created and highly confused humans off the boat, leaving them to drown. Impervious to their pleas, Thunor and the giant rowed home to tell every one the magnificent story of “the one that got away.” Meanwhile, Loki, who had been concerned about the conflict between his son the snake and Thunor, noticed his struggling grandchildren and sent them several eels to convey them to shore. The humans, once they realized they would live, sacrificed the eels to Loki, not realizing they were also his kin. Naturally, their first act of reverence would prove offensive.
The seven then named themselves and each gave birth to the clans which rule over the Vandals today. The priests sort of skip over where the first seven Vandal Women came from. I’m guessing more snakes. Still, relationship to the founding Vandals is a prerequisite for citizenship, all others being merely Freemen or slaves, so clan membership does serve a role besides just presenting “hit-lists” for blood feuds.
The Seven Clans
The first seven Vandals each have a clan named for them. Listed in order of prestige, Marbod, who was formed from a drop of head blood from Thunor, founded the Marbodid Clan. Amand, from torso blood, formed the Amandid Clan. Gelimer, from arm blood, formed the Gelimerids. Andi, from crotch blood, formed the Andicids. Malaric, from thigh blood, formed the Malaricids. Gerold, from foot blood, form the Geroldids. Finally, Dagaric, formed from arse blood, founded the Dagaricids.
Traditionally, the Marbodid Clan and the Andicid Clan have vied for leadership over the Vandal body, although the Amandid, Malaricid and Gelimerid Clans have enjoyed periods of dominance. The Geroldids are sometimes allowed to link with the big players, but the Dagaricids are largely ignored and, except for their dubious divinity, might as well be Freemen.
While every one of these clans has, at some level, a permanent Blood-Feud going on with every other clan, they do tend to focus more on fresh wounds. The Marbodids are still plotting a violent revenge for some wrong-doing an Amandid committed against them as Chief. While many might try to counsel these Vandals from such violence and pointlessness, I view every dead Vandal as a gift to the gods and so encourage such Clan hatreds at every opportunity.
Last edited:
Seems very violent, but since it is the survival of the fittest, there will only be strong folk.
You know, I just loved the following line: "In typically Vandal fashion, they have muddled and confused many gods" - brilliant line displaying the prejudices of our historian.
I like the idea of those lawyers... and also the arse clan.
'Thank gods those eels saved us! let us sacriface them to the gods!'
'Thank gods those eels saved us! let us sacriface them to the gods!'
I like our historian. He's so brutal.
Great history and prologues! It definitely piques your interest.