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So... the ck2 writting contest has come and gone, and while I do congratulate the 5 winners, it did leave me with 5.500 words of text.
Please enjoy.
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Knife
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Knife
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“I lost count.” She said, wishing her voice had been a touch more grown as it flew from her lips.
Beside her was a man, long brown hair caught in a rough string, a tunic blackened in mourning. From him came only a humming sound. She could not figure out how his throat played it: pleasant, almost musical. So unlike her own squeaks. The girl felt the rough stone wall touch her nose as she tried to keep her eyes from sight, her cheeks from flowering red.
“Try separating the camp into equal parts.” Her brother’s voice had its usual softness. “Count the heads in one part and add that number once for each separate part.” It had never disturbed her before, the control he had over his timbre. “You will find that in some occasions it is much more useful to have a rough but fast estimate of a force than an exact sum.” But there had never been a reason to question it.
Wait. Had he asked for her to try again? The girl would much rather not, but could she disappoint him?
No. She did not think she had it in her.
Three deep breaths to calm those that would follow; and she brought her face back over the wall, tiptoeing for a better look over the brim.
For as long as she had lived those walls had been her home: high stone over high stone, forging together a manmade mountain. They had always been there, just a part of her world. Unshakable. They might as well have been sculpted by God.
Not then, though.
Then they felt as too slim an overcoat to cover her from the coming storm. From the largest bulk of humanity she had ever laid eyes on.
She would still not name the crowd below her a camp, however.
True, there were tents and in quite a number, if rough, dirty and makeshift even from a distance. But something was amiss. Perhaps because it had none of the order she had anticipated an enemy force to take. Or maybe she had expected flags, poles, some ribbons in the least. No: only muddy cloth, muddy dirt, sharp sticks and sharp stones.
Maddening.
And the number, the men! How can so many men even exist?
So yes, the whole affair frightened her. Enough to have her voice quiver into a squeak and her mind try its best to do what the body could not: run.
It would never run far though; only so as to find her room, loitered with pillows and cloths, and the lessons she had had inside it. There she would lay on the bed, open book under her nose and her sibling at the bed’s feet.
He had shone with pride as she commanded both Moorish sums and Latin letters under her ink. And pride well earned, for the man had laboured away many a night’s sleep to help her master them.
It was an image that made her think that it was perhaps not the room her mind looked for when it ran from the walls. Just might have been the warmth that sprouted from the end of her chest, feeding unabashedly from his shine. A feeling she was unaccustomed to. One she wanted back.
That need was what convinced her eyes to leave the stone, swallow the fear, look over. As best as she would manage.
Just so long as she would not have to admit to her brother that most of his explanation had gone well above her head.
Try she would: one, two, four, seven, easy to see as they were sited. The rest gave her no such comfort.
She found her numbers lost to the chaos before she could reach the second dozen.
Her teeth rasped through her tongue, left it flaming behind: “I lost count.” She hid again, crouching against the wall. Damn. Do not cry. Breathe. If you can not pull yourself enough to look at him at least do not cry!
He kept quiet and she would not dare to look at him. She could not be sure how he would take the failure.
Until she felt his fingers making a mess of her already rough hair.
Her sleeves passed through her face, trying as gracefully as they could to clean the snot she felt running.
The girl’s eyes met the man’s, to find him sitting on the walls, his back against his enemies. Madness, the kind of which where an enemy army mattered very little.
“There are around one hundred and ten men. Most are serfs from the surrounding fields, but there are at least twenty gentles, our brother’s caballero companions.”
Too many.
They might as well be ten thousand. The number was too big for her to picture.
Her fingers made sure her hair covered her right eye. Brown blocked the sunlight. She cleared her throat, wishing her voice flawless, knowing it to be not: “How did you count them so fast?”
It was terrifying the magic his throat used to turn the chuckles into music.
“I did not count them; I knew how many they were before they marched.”
She felt a spike of anger, felt cheated. So she bit her lower lip to stop a childish complaint from escaping. She knew what he would say.
If you could cheat then you should.
So, what was a better question? A simple one wormed out of her mouth: “Why do they not attack? He must have archers. We have been at the walls for a while now.”
Why was not his back nailed with one hundred and ten arrows?
“Because our brother dearest expects to rule from these walls soon. And we do not have enough serfs that we can kill some for no gain.”
Gain? He was a bolt away from inheriting those walls.
“I know that look”
He was studying her face, forcing her eyes down. Her hand came to her right temple, made sure her locks covered her right vision, made sure it was hidden. The sight made his lips quirk. Please stop. “Well...” Please do not mock her. “Half look at least…” She wasn’t sure she could take it.
But he gave up the prey: “Our brother knows me well: he is convinced I will open him the gates as soon as I find myself without an answer to his attack.”
The relief was almost enough to have her toes curl.
“He does not know you at all: you would never surrender to him.”
“Oh, but I would. I would give him these stones and these people. It would cost me less than you imagine. But only if I thought our case desperate.” There was something hungry in the way he smiled: “He does not need to know I’m not desperate. Not quite yet.”
His words cut the tears straight into a barking, desperate laugh.
“How are you to defeat one hundred men?”
“Ah, there will be a few more than one hundred, of course. Our uncle moves his force here to join them. Around eighty more from my last estimate.”
Her stomach was lead, heavy and stopping her breath; because how could there still be more when… “There are already so many of them…”
“Two hundred is hardly that many.” She did not expect her thought to turn to whisper. “When the moors force the King to call his banners two hundred would not be enough to hold a flank of His Highness’ army.”
She tried to ignore the flush of embarrassment; a child amazed at a mill. Because still, still:
“Still! They are too many! And how many men do you have?” almost a slip… almost a we. Think before you speak girl.
He did take to pause: “Around forty, but it could be stretched to fifty if I were to arm every able body.” He smiled at her then, all honey, one of his best, so she knew she was smiling back. “Fifty-one if you were to take a spear yourself.”
“I will as soon as needed.” His smile could kill any of her self-preservation.
He kneeled to her height.
“But no, senhora, I quite think you would be much more useful to me as a sharp mind than with a sharp stick.”
And cleared her hairs from her face, until she could see his form from both her eyes. She tried to look down, cover her sight once more, but he was quick to stop her, a finger under her chin forced their eyes to lock.
She did not want him to see her face, did not want him to see her as anything but as close to perfection as she could manage. Fought tears again. She did not want him to see.
Fingertips crossed the rugged mass that claimed her right eyebrow. She did not want his touch there.
When his face got nearer, she bit her tongue to stop her legs from running away.
His lips felt strange against the plaquelike mess of red. Not better nor worse, simply different.
She knew he meant it as a sign of respect, love even. But there was only shame left when he took his lips away. A few unshed tears that she tried to swallow.
He turned so as to make his leave.
Quickly, her hair was set back into place, masking her wickedness from the world.
For once she was not sure if she rather have him with her or to hide herself from sight.
Loneliness won at the end: “When will our brother make his move?” Loneliness did not want him gone.
“From what I’ve been told as soon as our uncle arrives.”
Her pained tongue made the words hard to speak.
“You have spies between our brother’s friends?”
There was nothing sweet about his smile: “As he has spies just inside our court.”
Had he said what she heard? Spies? Inside their walls? Who? Who?
Could he know? He must! Hell, how could he not?
She took his hand. Awkwardly. Mostly a grip of his fingers. It was not a gesture she had much experience with. She thanked being too scared to blush.
Should she not be used to the fear by now? After the last few minutes?
But she needed him to tell her she was safe, they were safe, he was safe. She needed stupid nothings said in a way she could believe them.
He grasped her hand a touch more firmly.
“Even if our brother was to win his battles he would not hurt you. You are blood.”
“He loves me not.” Much of an understatement in fact. He rejected and blamed and despised her.
The older man gave her no reassuring smile.
“He does not. But he would make sure you were fed and sheltered. A nunnery, most likely.”
She could feel the corners of her lips rising; they were miserable: “God is the only husband that would take me.” And she did not touch her face. Denying the instinct to do so made her muscles cramp.
Deviltouched.
“I would rather no one takes you at all.”
Nicely done, had her smile deepen.
“And you? Would he not kill you had he the chance?”
His tongue came out in thought, played with his lower lip. It was not a gesture he did often.
“No. I do not think he would.” His pause made it seem he had ended his sentence. Enough time for a breath, perhaps a heartbeat or two. “He fears the stain that kinslaying would leave on him.”
On his immortal soul or on his earthly ambitions?
“Does he fear hell?”
“Of course,” sounded preposterous to her ears “but he might fear heaven in the same measure.”
And that made so little sense she felt her laugh turn true: “Why would he not wish to see our dead parents, our dead siblings?”
“Because he loved them. Very much so in fact.” His tone had that magic again, soft as a caress. Her fingers moved up to his knuckles.
“More than you had loved them?”
“Much more. Insanely more.”
Who did he love then? Her hand climbed to the black fabric he wore.
“Do you wish to see her again? Your intended I mean.”
His eyebrows shot up, theatrically, fake.
“I thought you hated her” She did. She had. Hated her more than anyone, despite having never met her. Feared her. Because the woman would take her brother, her true brother, and she would have no one.
Envied her.
He said: “I barely knew her.” And then she died.
And she envied her still, for he wore mourning.
He turned to leave once more, but made sure her hand was firmly enveloped by his own. “Supper is surely ready, we should go.”
Her eyes went back to the wall.
“They will not leave just because we are not here.” His voice was teasing. Sweet despite it. The girl let him guide her back inside.
She had never once questioned that sweetness. Or calm behind his demeanour, the lethargy behind his motions.
There had never been a reason to question it.
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