Turn 8, second half: The German civil war
Jim: Welcome back, people. An exciting second half is in store for us, with a newly formed Germany beset with opportunities and challenges.
Bob: The Referee wishes to make an announcement.
Jim: Good day, Referee, welcome to our studio.
Referee: Good day Jim and Bob, thank you for your hospitality. Well, let me get to the point. As arbiter in this match, it's my job to make the competition fair. As Germany is a very powerful country, I must handicap the German team with another rule.
Jim: For the audience, I would like to remind that the German team has already two handicaps: it must stay at full Decentralisation and cannot use the Holy War and Imperialism Casus Belli.
Referee: That is indeed correct, Jim. To prevent Germany from explosive expansion, a third handicap is introduced: Germany may only start wars with a Casus Belli. In addition, peace deals with nations with no Casus Belli, only Concede Defeat may be asked. In practice, Germany will not have a Casus Belli against alliance members of enemy nations and thus cannot vassalize, annex or take land from those allies. Germany is allowed to give anything it wants in a peace.
Jim: Interesting choice, Referee. Hopefully this will lead to an even more interesting match.
Referee: If I think that further along the match Germany is still too strong, I might introduce more handicaps. Also, I would like to announce a addendum to a rule applicable for both Germany and Japan. Previously there was a rule that said that both nation can only annex or vassalise nations that border them, in order to prevent the contestants to get into conflict early.
This rule is too strict and has been loosened: both nations can only annex or vassalise neighbouring nations on other continents: on their own continent they can do whatever they want if they stay within the other rules.
I will now go to the X-35. Goodbye, gentlemen.
Jim: Goodbye, Referee, thank you for coming.
Audience:
Get on with it!
Jim: Right, right, back to the game! Bob, can you give an overview of the current situation?
Bob: My pleasure, Jim. With an Infamy of 29 out of 25, Germany is still considered Dishonourable Scum for claiming rulership over all German people. Still, Germany managed to become Defender of the Catholic Faith. While Maximilian I Joseph, the first German king, did expand the army to 107 regiments, he failed to anticipate that with the Holy Roman Empire gone, Germany can only support 90 regiments. Due to this, 400 ducats out of the yearly income of 770 ducats goes to pay the soldiers. In foreign news, Norway is no longer in a Personal Union with France.
Jim: Thank you, Bob. Looks like the German situation is quite positive overall. The contestants take decisive action once they arrive in Germany. First they disband 20 regiments to greatly lower maintenance. Second, they once again hire a Master of the Mint, which is fired consistently when the contestants are absent. Apparently the downtimers know nothing about inflation!
Bob: Well, they don't actually.
Jim: Well, yeah, still, at least they can have the courtesy not to dismiss the Masters of the Mint! Anyway, in May Military developments take place, forging the German army into a well-oiled machine.
Bob: Looks like this has emboldened our contestants.
Jim: Indeed. A War of Reunification is declared on Würtemburg in August 1550, starting the German Civil War.
Bob: Isn't that a bit overdramatic, Jim?
Jim: Certainly not. In the same month, Brunswick, Salzburg, Baden, Switzerland, Bohemia, Holstein and Saxe-Lauenburg declare Punitive Wars on Germany, with the Hansa joining on Baden's side and Denmark on Holstein's. In September Frankfurt also declares a Punitive War on Germany. This means that basically all of the German princes are at war with Germany. Look at this: in red are Germany's enemies.
Jim: And here's a list of all the wars.
Bob: Hey, Japan has again declared a Religious War on Brunei.
Jim: Focus, Bob. As there are so many wars going on at the same time, it's difficult to say what's exactly happening. Battles are fought all over Germany, with most of the battles won by the excellently drilled German Heer.
Bob: With swift results. In September Würtemburg is already annexed after only two months fighting. Also, Salzburg is forced to Concede Defeat.
Jim: Fighting remains grim. In January 1551 the Swiss Army is destroyed by an German army led by Maximilian I Joseph.
Bob: Also, Great Britain proudly reports to have discovered Japan. Ambassadors all over Europe were surprised by the yawns of the German diplomats.
Jim: Can you please pay attention to the history-changing war? Anyway, in February the Hansa army is annihilated by the Northern German army.
Bob: Sadly, a month later the eastern German army is itself annihilated by the Bohemian army, who is as well drilled as the Germans. A big setback, as 20 regiments are lost, almost a quarter of the entire German forces.
Jim: Damn! That's got to hurt. Luckily, the armies in the north and west have more success. In May Brunswick Concedes Defeat, while in November Frankfurt does the same.
Bob: Good progress.
Jim: In 1552 more successes are gained. After a failed assault on Berlin, the weakened Bohemian army is wiped out by the northern army. Intimidated by this, in June Baden signs a white peace and Switzerland concedes defeat, as half of Switzerland was conquered by Maximilian I. Here's an overview of the current war situation.
Bob: I see Styria has joined the war on the enemies' side as well. Still, the war is all but over.
Jim: You're right, Bob. In September Saxe-Lauenburg concedes defeat and Bohemia signs a white peace. Only in April 1553 does Holstein concede defeat, ending this brutal war.
Bob: While the German princes thought they could bring down Germany while it was on an offensive war, the German army has shown its might. While its losses were significant, it was able to dish out considerable damage and managed to achieve overall victory.
Jim: What's more, as none of the signed peace treaties damaged Germany's reputation, in 1554 Germany is no longer considered Dishonourable Scum by the international community! Safe at last.
Bob: Maybe that's why Germany declares another Reconquest War in May 1555, this time on Tirol.
Jim: Probably. Also, Tirol is one of the few German principalities that has no truce with Germany or borders a great power. However, it is allied with Poland, which has a significant army
Bob: But not too impressive in quality. In August 22 Polish regiments are wiped out and in September 20 more are destroyed.
Jim: This leads to an interesting battle:
Jim: The Polish army is led by the Polish king of the Zamoyski dynasty. The Hessian-German army is led by the Hessian duke Wilhelm III, also a Zamoyski. This duke, of course, is both a vassal and a cousin of Maximilian I Joseph Zamoyski. It's basically a large-scale family feud.
Bob: Nice. It's a bloody family feud, as in July 1556 yet another 10 Polish regiments are annihilated and in October yet another 22 regiments. The siding of Novgorod on Polish side does not slow down the German steamrolling Poland, especially as Novgorod has not even reached Land tech level 18.
Jim: This is not a war, it's a slaughter. In January 1557 the German king finally shows mercy and signs a peace with Tirol, getting Lienz and 350 ducats. After that Poland as alliance leader concedes defeat.
Bob: So finally some peace.
Jim: Which is not to last for long, as in June a Reconquest War is declared on Salzburg. Austria, Switzerland and Trier comes to Salzburg's aid, with Trier taking leadership.
Bob: Trier?
Jim: It's a south German principality, but that's not important right now. In August Salzburg is annexed. While the war continues, the German citizens, fed up with the constant warring, demand more freedom, which is given to them. It's clear now that the contestants wants to have very Free Subjects.
Bob: In the same month, Trier and its alliance concedes defeat. Somehow this angers the German liberals. The conservative German nation becomes less conservative.
Jim: Alas, even though all social layers in German oppose the many wars, another Reconquest war is declared, Meissen this time. A feeble alliance lead by Styria opposes this aggression but to no avail. Meissen is annexed the next month. At the end of 1558 the Hansa is attacked, whose allies Norway and Baden abandon her and Defender of the Reformed Faith Great Britain refrains from interfering in this war against its religious brother.
Bob: Let me guess, the Hansa is annexed?
Jim: Of course. In January 1559 the great trade centre of Lübeck is in German hands. And yet another war is declared, now against Bremen. In June this former Free Imperial city is part of the German kingdom. In August Styria and its allies concede defeat, ending a decade of Germans fighting against Germans.
Bob: This half was certainly action packed. As it would take too long to list all German conquests, this up-to-date political map of Central Europe shows how Germany has grown.
Jim: I hope all this action has entertained our fine audience. Hopefully I see you all next time on Double Domination!