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The Dragon of the Sunrise, a Qingqiu AAR

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Chapter 3
Part 3: We can (not) redo​



So, shall we continue this mad soliloquy about a guy, a nationalist bomb, a overpowered Finnish woman and an angel?

Nonon: Ok, we have a status report from the troops past the border, the southern fjords have been conquered.
Fleija: We can continue our march north.
Rei: How much time left until annihilation?
Nonon: Out techs are still pretty low so the war will be slow.
Rei: B-b-but the Yamato race...
Fleija: Is now a Great Power

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Rei: NGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!
Nonon: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
Fleija: Every man for himself!
Rei: NGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!
Nonon: No explosion?
NPmister: This is my lounge, I won't destroy it for a simple rage rampage.
Nonon: Why don't you tell where we are at the start of every chapter?
Fleija: Because we are moving from here.
Tabris: The only victorious man is the one that fights everything on the forefront.
Everyone: What?
Tabris: I'm tired of you not understanding my aphorisms. The joke becomes old quite fast. Hey you!
Rei: YEEEEEEEEEEEES?
Tabris: *pierces Rei with a spear*
Nonon: AAAAAAH! REI!
Fleija: She's ok, it's a special spear created to interrupt... dangerous processes, ironically it comes from Japan.
Nonon: Rei is... dead?
NPmister: Of course not! Comic relief characters never die!
Tabris: Hope is the last to die.
Fleija: Let's head to the helicopter, we have some decisions to do.

*on the helicopter*

At this point of time, NPmister ascended to the Empyrean Sky transcending as the concept itself of procrastination, he never showed his face back again as the light coming from it couldn't move since that can be done later.

ANNOUNCING THE RETURN OF THE DRAGON OF THE SUNRISE AAR. TODAY!
COME AND GET IT!
DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!​
 
Chapter 3
Part 3.0+1.0: There will be plenty of fanservice!


To read preferably while listening to this, looped.

Rei: All behold the true god of procrastination!
NPmister: The Germans did this!
Nonon: How dare the Kingdom of Wurstelberg take over our only writer!?
Fleija: May the Wurttemberg-to-Second-Reich game be damned!
Tabris: Guys, don't lose your head.
Nonon: Great news!

F2Y7CFj.png

​

Rei: One step further in the annihilation of the Yamato race, the furries, the tacos... AND THE SCHWANZWALD!
Nonon: Don't quote metal bands, not anyone can understand it.
Fleija: Anyway, looks like the last siege was won thanks to a genial move of General Caffeine!
Nonon: That man with half brain and half coffee shop?
Rei: HE'S OUR HERO!
Fleija: Looks like a Lieutenant gave him a cup of black coffee, student-of-organic-chemistry size, and he just rushed to the doors of the village with a white stare and with a velocity superior of 5 times the speed of sound, the shock wave was so strong that the bare speed wiped out the town, then he collided with a mountain and there was a big explosion and when the smoke faded away the mountain was made of PURE CRYSTALLINE CAFFEINE! Looks like that a unit coming from the south sadly ended up in the explosion range and they are missing.
Nonon: I think we can safely change the RGO of that province to coffee instead of fish...
NPmister: I might prepare an event for that.
Tabris: From the lands of Bolivar a missive came.
Everyone: Wh...
NPmister: A LETTER FROM GRAN COLOMBIA! DAMMIT!
Rei: THEY WANT WHAT? THEY DESIRE THIS AFTER ALL THEY'VE DONE TO US?!
Nonon: MY GOD!
Fleija: ALL CAPS!
Rei: *white glance* *slow ticking from the body*
NPmister: Wait... WE ARE STILL ON THE HELICOPTER!
Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

*loud explosion in distance*

Mysterious Time-Traveling Girl: I'm tired of this. *disappears*

*everyone wakes of on the beach*

NPmister: You again!
MTTG: Listen, stop this. This is not my show, I'm caged in this world while the person I love the most is suffering endless times and I'm here trapped by your damn curse of saving your life and your characters just for the sake of the plot. I'M TIRED. And you know that with my corruption in this story a bad event may occur...
NPmister: Homu...
MTTG: I never said I didn't like your story, saying my name will probably make my creators sue you. I want this story to go on.
NPmister: The only reason I'm keeping you in this story is exactly for that event. Have patience.
MTTG: I have my limits, NPmister.
NPmister: Hundreds of timelines and you still don't change.
MTTG: Tsk. *disappears*

*everyone wakes up*

Rei: Damn, where are we.
Tabris: You became death destroyer of worlds.
Nonon: What's that bright thing at the horizon?
Fleija: It is the caffeine mountain! We are near the battlefield.
NPmister: *Volkswagen Minibus with hippie drawings all over it spawns* Shall we have a ride?
Rei: THE GERMAN MENACE! *takes a axe* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Nonon: REI STOP!
Fleija: HAKKA PAALLE!
Tabris: Clever move, Rei.
Rei: *moves away* *Fleija hits the minivan*
Fleija: Did I miss!?
NPmister: YOU BASTA.... *flies away with the minivan*
Rei: May you live forever in the depths of nothingness!

*in space*

NPmister: I'm tired of this shit. Well, hey reader! Before I get back there, here's the message that ended up making Rei explode:


VDLrRTS.png

​

NPmister: They neglect even the most important part of the AAR: the images! Anyway, sorry if I took you in this quite embarrassing situation. Shall we get back down there? I want to leave this minivan though, I can keep it in orbit for a while... Ok, everything is set, it will fall exactly 15 years after this day, we need these "bridgeheads". Now, let's jump off.

*double pike with spin*
*falling at supersonic speed*

NPmister: Based on the amounts of light reflections coming from broken cups of coffee in Kita Kaigan, I can safely say that our units have advanced quite a bit during our interlude in space. We have to hurry!

*continue to fall*

NPmister: A naked girl crying to a sailor uniform while falling down from space... OH WAIT! SPOILER ALERT! Don't make them see you, our stories may tangle and create a mess. Luckily she's deviating to the Tokyo Bay.

*suddenly the pot of petunias taking the place of the Reactionary party spawns*

NPmister: Do you want to join us in this inevitable fall to death?
Pot of Petunias: It was a terrorist attack! A group of noble entered the room and asked to take my place as rightful representatives of the nobles in our country, the colleagues of the Conservative party were so kind a protected me but a vile bullet crushed me to death... I'm in debt with those man.
NPmister: Don't you read the newspaper, the guy who took you're place has been lynched. There are roads named after you!
Pot of Petunias: Remember me to thank them when I arrive to the ground.
NPmister: Oh look! We are almost there! HELLO GROUND!
Pot of Petunias: OH NO! NOT AGAIN!

*NPmister, the Pot of Petunias and the Readers impact with the ground*

NPmister: Ok, where are we?
Nonon: NPMISTER!
Rei: Thank you proud citizen of Qingqiu! You just destroyed the last battalion of the Kaiganese army! MAKE A STATUE OF THAT POT!
Soldiers: Hurray! Hurray! LONG LIVE PETUNIAS THE GREAT!
NPmister: But...
Fleija: Oh, you have the Readers with you. Here, you'll understand.


vGr1aOZ.png

​

Fleija: We were here. Before you crushed those men to death.
Rei: NOW WE CAN TAKE THEIR CAPITAL! DEATH TO THE YAMATO RACE!
Nonon: To the front line!
Tabris: God's punishment started with the firmament falling, burning down humans' arrogance. The story repeats, or rather... starts now.
Rei: GLORY TO QINGQIU!


fmkbeNw.png



Sorry if this chapter was short but after I became the god of procrastination only a light from darkness could have convinced me on coming back to this project: A COMMENT! SWEET SWEET COMMENT!
May Emperor RyRy I live for a thousand years! Give me moar comments!​
 
A SEMI-SHOUTOUT! A SWEET SWEET SEMI-SHOUTOUT!

MAY THIS AAR LIVE FOR A LONG TIME!

Really, though, this is hilarious. When are we going to.... errr.... show our misguided motherland the light of unity?

First the inferior Yamato must die, of course.
 
Chapter 3
Part 4: "Komm Susser Ende"
​


I can't forget love and pride, because of that there's procrastination deep inside.

​




Rei: Let's go directly into the action!
Nonon: Wait, we don't even give a status report to our viewers?
Fleija: Readers!
Nonon: Whatever!
NPmister: Ok, we are besieging the Kaiganese capital, their army has been annihilated by me and the Pot of Petunias crushing to the ground from the stratosphere and now our vegetable comrade is running for presidency.
Fleija: On top of that looks like General Caffeine has disappeared.
Rei: WHAT?
Nonon: They say that last night after he went to bed, well he doesn't really sleep, he just lays on the bed and does nothing.
Rei: HE ALWAYS THINK ABOUT NEW STRATEGIES FOR OUR BRAVE MEN!
Fleija: He probably plans out its next suicide attempt.
Rei: Uh?
Nonon: Anyway, the next day his tent was ripped and there was no one inside. Out of the gash there was a line of footprints in the direction of Mount Caffeine.
Tabris: The beast is calling its soldiers back to life.
Fleija: We need a new leader from our troops, sadly someone uses our military academy excellencies as TEST RATS.
Rei: Their logical minds are perfect for my works, they're easy to manipulate.
Nonon: Anyway, our man was halted after he got its diploma and it's heading here in a armored convoy.
Rei: Who's this guy?​



3gcharT.png


Rei: *grin*
Fleija: Here's the convoy!

*truck parks*

Nonon: How dare you show your back to us! Soldier, reveal yourself!
*mannequin falls down*
Everyone: *gasp*
Rei. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! (*hysterical laugh*) You tough the perfect subject would have escaped me? GOOD GRIEF!
Nonon: But now our units will fall into chaos!
Rei: Fear not! I present you... GENERAL DONG 2.0 EXPANDED EDITION! AKA GENERAL HYDROCARBON!
Fleija: He hasn't a face, and its right arm is... half a scissor!
Rei: But wait there's more! *scissors splits* *Qingqiu flags comes out* *national anthem starts playing* *sheds a single tear*
Nonon: HOW WILL THIS HELP! HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A WAY TO COMMUNICATE!
Rei: Who needs to communicate when you can do... THIS! *keyboard comes out of the spine* CODE NAME: DA BEASTO.

*shrill scream*
*shock wave*

Nonon: AND WHAT ELSE DOES HE DO?
Rei: Wait for it...
*fracture creates on the ground*
*earth starts shaking*
Rei: BEWARE THE POWER OF THE DEFINITIVE MILITARY MACHINE!
*lava comes out of the fracture*
Fleija: What the...
Nonon: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Rei: All aboard!

*everyone is on the helicopter*

Rei: I may have made a mess.
Fleija: Looks like you created a new fault line in the earth crust.
Rei: Is this bad?
Fleija: ...
Nonon: The fault is of this machine! You could have left that poor man living its life and doing its job but noooooooooooooo for the sake of comicality something had to happen!
Rei: *pushes General Hydrocarbon out the helicopter*
Nonon: It was the only one we had left!
Rei: Don't worry. Let's land

*helicopter lands*

Rei: I'll get him back, I'll give him back its face so he will communicate and I'll regulate its half-a-scissor, have fun you jerks!
Fleija: Currently we don't have a general and the siege of the city is going badly, like... we're losing soldiers like hair of a balding man.​
Nonon: We need something new, something that can turn the tide of the war.
Fleija: The Minister of Research purposes this:

GU4s33B.png

​

Nonon: What? We already have artillery units!
Fleija: Those are only horses in boxes painted by kindergarten children.
Rei: HEEEEEEEY!! We fixed that melting stuff, how's he's new face?
Nonon: It looks like a mosquito...
Rei: My cloning machine has issues, looks like the automation program is claiming its freedom.
Fleija: Do you mean the soul of a man?
Rei: We can explain the nature of the soul later right now we have some YAMATO ASSES TO KICK!


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Rei: General Hydrocarbon you know what to do! Everyone get ready to start: OPERATION SAUVAGE!


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​

Nonon: Those units are escaping!
Fleija: Those are... enemy units! NPmister crushed them at its arrival!
Rei: They hold General Caffeine! They want to transform him into a bomb, they're ready to sacrifice their capital to win the war!
Nonon: That's why he went to the caffeine mountain!
Rei: HE WAS ABDUCTED! A man that faithful to its motherland has clearly a plan in his mind, the Kaiganese project will end up in its death, OF COURSE HE ISN'T OK WITH THAT!
Nonon: The enemy has been engaged!


DK6n91C.png

​

Soldiers: The troops have breached into the city!
Fleija: Fantastic! Siege the government palace!
Rei: TAKE THEM TO ME!
Soldiers: Yes sir!

*some time later*


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​



Second update later this afternoon!
 
Last edited:
Emperor RyRy I said:
*waits patiently*
Click to expand...

Don't worry, tomorrow I'll post the update. I just downloaded EU4 and I was playing bit with it so I got distracted. Damn! Is this how the youngsters have fun? Personal union? In my times you were either the First Great Power or Insta-Anchluss! *walks away like a elderly*
But seriously, looks like this new more "graphic" style is doing fine even for me, I thought it would have been disgusting adding more details to the various actions and locations.
Spoiler: there will be aluminium bars in the next episodes, I won't tell for what they're used tho.
 
I was concerned about the man's sleeping hours after seeing his work on the Community Made Countries Mod. Now I'm scared. Regardless, an interesting and amusing AAR if ever there was one.
 
Chapter 3
Part 4+∞: There is no hope left


Seriously, why do I even use this space if I explain everything in the narrative part?

NPmister: VENIA DIGNUS EST HUMANUM ERROR!
Rei: SHUT UP! *strikes NPmister with a aluminium bar*
NPmister: EVERY ERROR CAN BE FORGIVEN!
Rei: I SAID SHUT UP! *repeatedly strikes NPmister*
NPmister: *faints*
Rei: THAT BASTARD! LATER IN THE AFTERNOON RIGHT? WE FINALLY HAVE A READER AND YOU TREAT HIM LIKE HE DOESN'T EXIST!
Nonon: Rei, please. He bought some games in the Steam sales, of course he wanted some time to try them...
Rei: This bastard needs 2 hours at maximum to write a chapter, THIS PROCRASTINATION IS UNACCEPTABLE!
Fleija: Blame Europa Universalis 4!
Rei: REMOVE RENAISSANCE SCUM! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREMOVE! *white glance* *slow ticking from the body*
Nonon: Nationalist issues with VIDEOGAMES?
Fleija: I secretly missed these explosions

*explosion*

Tabris: NPmister's body has been vaporized.
Fleija: We still exist, that means he's still alive somewhere.
Nonon: Look, here he is!

*clouds move away*
♫NPmister Entrance Theme♫
*a godly figure with a face covered by a mask descends*

NPmaster: I am thou. Thou art thee. IF WE'RE AN HAPPY FAMILY! *yay*
Nonon: That doesn't make sense.
NPmaster: I just wanted to say it, I love when I ascend to the godly level of procrastination.
Fleija: Guess who's back!
Rei: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!
NPmaster: WHO BEATS WHO NOW?
Rei: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

*NPmaster chases Rei with an aluminium bat to the horizon*
*loud metallic flick from distance*

NPmaster: *lands* *Rei has the aluminium bat struck in the face* I love the taste of vengeance in the morning *takes away the mask* *turns back normal*
Nonon: We have news from Operation Sauvage in the north of the nation, General Hydrocarbon defeated the Kaiganese forces and is attacking the convoy with General Caffeine in it.

mDxpu9R.png

​

Rei: Why didn't they annihilate the FILTHY YAMATOS? And why General Hydrocarbon isn't signed as the leader?
Fleija: When did you wake up? And please take that aluminium bar out of your face. Anyway, we have more important thing to think about right now, looks like there are issues near the convoy!
Nonon: What's happening?
Fleija: *at the phone* Tabris! What's the situation?
Nonon: HE WAS NEXT TO ME A MINUTE AGO
Tabris: *at the phone* Looks like... OH DEAR MYSELF! WHAT WAS THAT? Something just rushed out of the truck carrying General Caffeine right after we managed to capture it, it is running towards Mount Caffeine! *loud explosion*
Fleija: Tabris? TABRIS!
Nonon: We have to reach them!
Rei: I gave orders to the units, let's go! To the-
NPmister: I want to say it this time! *clears his throat* TO THE HELICOPTER!

*everyone arrives at Mount Caffeine*

Nonon: It was a volcano?
Fleija: There is something coming out of it!

???: Rise my soldiers!

Rei: That's General Caffeine!
Nonon: What's that thing attached to its head? And why is he dressed with a tunic?
Fleija: It looks like a headrobe-like insect sucking its head!

G. Caffeine?: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

*giant monster gets out of the volcano*

NPmister: CTHULHU? I DID NOT PLAN THIS!
???: *guy on a red helicopter* Instead WE DID!
Nonon: Who are you?
Rei: HE'S A FILTHY YAMATO!
???: You can call me Mikado 2.0! I'm the First Self-Proclaimed Emperor of Kita Kaigan and the Yamato Lands, THE NEW RISING SUN! And I'll use your mightiest weapon against you. NIPPON BANZAI!
Rei: BASTARD! *takes special suit*
Fleija: WAIT! The godrobe still hasn't been fully developed!
Rei: Zheng He Fiber overload! *transforms* DEATH TO THE YAMATO RACE!!! *attacks the red helicopter*
Mikado 2.0: Even if you beat me, YOU CAN NOT STOP THE ADVANCE OF THE FORBIDDEN GOD!

*Cthulhu screams*

Mikado 2.0: Look! The units killed by the Caffeine Overload are resurrecting under the call of the Yamato power! When their only leader in life and death will be united with the Highest Creature, nothing on Earth will escape the New Rising Sun!
G. Caffeine?: RISE AGAIN, FORGOTTEN SONS OF THE TREACHEROUS LAND!

*zombie troops rise up the Caffeine mount*

Rei: YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP! *final shot*
Mikado 2.0: PRAISE THE SUN! *helicopter explodes*
Nonon: Rei! Stop General Caffeine!

*G. Caffeine? jumps into the lava crater*
*Cthulhu picks him up*

Cthulhu: (What do you wish, human?)
G. Caffeine: (I wish that-)
Rei: HYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *cuts away the headrobe-like insect* I WISH THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN!
Cthulhu: (Dammit humans, you wake me up from a millions year sleep and all I can do is be part of a second tier comic AAR that doesn't even talk about the actual game? The next time I'll destroy your weak race in a blink so I won't have to listen to your complaints but only at your sweet screams of tearing terror and death!)
Rei: I'm not sure of what you said but thanks.
Cthulhu: (Your face looks like an ass, lol.)
Rei: Thanks again!

*Cthulhu return to its sleep*
*Zombies just die*
*Victory Dance*


gAnO9Jz.png

​

Fleija: TABRIS!
Tabris: FLEIJA!
Nonon: Will they start making out?
NPmister: Give me time to develop their personalities!
Fleija: I thought you died!
Tabris: Hope is the last to die.
Rei: Guys please! You are awkward...
NPmister: This had to be some kind of second phase of a part of a chapter right?
Nonon: Correct.
NPmister: Then I think we can end it here.
Nonon: By the way, all this crazy shit we did today... Is there any recorded evidence?
NPmister: No.
Nonon: YOU FILM UHD VIDEOS OF A FAILED CASUS BELLI IDIOTIC CREATION AND YOU DON'T RECORD THIS?
NPmister: I have my priorities.
Nonon: You motherfuc-

IS THIS AWESOME ENOUGH?
​
 
Chapter 3
Part 5: You are a pirate!


This time is like no other for us in living memory! (Long may it last.)
Breathe the air, take in the feeling of peace and harmony!
Freedom can fly close to the sky.
Now we can shine!
Peaceful time, we've never had it so good!

Rei: That was a big ass battle!
Nonon: Well, now that we control their capital and have annihilated their military I think they'll have no choice but to surrender.
Fleija: Not that fast

HxkxCJd.png

​

Rei: WHAT? DOES THE YAMATO RACE WANT MORE DESTRUCTION? Scorched earth from now on!
Tabris: The only parts of the country not occupied by us are icy wastelands with little to nothing inside it.
Rei: SCORCHED EARTH ANYWAY!
Nonon: Why our warscore is so low?
Fleija: We only fought 2 major battles, one won by someone crushing from the stratosphere and one that almost ended the world but was not recorded except for the awkward chase of the convoy containing General Caffeine plus the previous skirmish with the remaining Kaiganese forces.
Rei: We captured their government.
Nonon: And used their skin for the boots of our army
Rei: We captured their military forces.
Nonon: Oh God! If I tell what happened to them I would be banned from the Paradox forums.
Rei: We captured their navy.
Fleija: That same captured navy that managed to get out the port and attack our blockade forces?
Rei: I... don't even... *white glance* *slow ticking from the body*
Fleija: *gathers momentum* *throws Rei in the sea*

*loud explosion in distance*


HRB26WW.png

​

Nonon: A navy made of one boat...
Fleija: Looks like Kaiganese economy was crippled my incredible scientific-military expenses, they knew we were going to attack them so Mikado 2.0's time in office was characterized by this paranoia.
Rei: *covered in seaweed* Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeey guys! I just had an idea! If we captured their government and hold them in our fist, why don't we annex them right away? After all who made that graphic? There's no effective political power left in Kita Kaigan except us.
Mikado 2.0: *flies out of the Ocean with the isolated corvette from the battle* ARE YOU SURE?
Rei: FILTHY YAMATO!
Mikado 2.0: Do you see the New Ark of Hope?
Rei: Ark? You call that horrible vessel that not even the most idiotic fishers will use the Ark of Hope? How does it fly? With the Earth's desire of not touching it?
Mikado 2.0: *grin* No! With YOUR power! *takes a red sphere from the vest* Thanks for releasing your force to me!
Rei: You did it on purpose!
Mikado 2.0: The day I'll be defeated is still far. Beyond time itself! *turbine sound* *loud hiss* *Ark of Hope flies at supersonic velocities to the hinterland*
Nonon: Looks like we found our real enemy.
Fleija: I wonder what that red orb was, thankfully my research team got lots of data from the registration, RIGHT?
Scientist: Y-y-yes m'am.
Fleija: Great, what is it then?
Scientist: Looks like a Super Solenoid Engine, basically a biological machine to produce infinite energy, a Seed of Life.
Fleija: The Seed of Life?
Scientist: Yes, he already used a transdimensional apocalyptic squid god, who knows what is he preparing!?
Fleija: Dammit! Any data from the ship?
Scientist: It's just a normal corvette that flies thanks to the Engine but when we went to the port to look up some clues we found out that people didn't build ship in the middle of forests at open sky anymore! Thank God we live in such enlightened times!
Rei: IT'S A OMEN!
Fleija: Of course. After all the research team is already calculating the trajectory and the hiding den of Mikado 2.0, RIGHT?
Scientists: Y-Y-YES M'AM!


IZMDxIi.png

​

Tabris: There's a message from the capital, they want us there immediately.
Nonon: I wonder what happened.
Rei: TO THE HELIC-
Fleija: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE! We'll have fika instead.
Tabris: Of course.
Nonon: What day would it be without fika?
Rei: It's a nice way to put an end to a awkward episode.
NPmister: Paradox would be proud!

*after a very Swedish coffee pause*

Rei: TO THE HELICOPTER!


​

​
 
Chapter 4
It is getting even less sane than I thought it is possible.​



TO THE CLASH! TO THE CLASH! *guitar solo*.
QINGQIU IS FREEDOM! BE QUICK IN SWEARING YOUR OATH!
VICTORY'S NEAR, COMPANIONS! BUT THERE WILL NEVER BE ANY LACK OF FIGHT!
QINGQIU IS FREEDOM!

*everybody arrives at the capital*

Rei: So what's keeping us from DESTROYING THE FILTHY YAMATO RACE?
Fleija: Looks like a man dressed in a elegant outfit came to a gas station near the south border and started speaking in a bizarre language, he had a letter with him-
Rei: WE INTERRUPTED OUR CONQUEST FOR A MAN WITH AN HANGOVER?
Fleija: I'm pretty sure there's something more than this, looks like the letter he had was... from Gran Colombia's president.
Nonon: Woah, meth is bad stuff.
Fleija: I'm not drugged, he's in the hall.
Ambassador: SEÑOR!
Rei: He's a... he's a...
Fleija: TAKE THE MAN IN THE SPECIAL BUNKER!
Ambassador: *enters in a trapdoor under a table* *panics even more*
Rei: *white glance* *slow ticking from the body*
Fleija: WAIT FOR ME! *enters the trapdoor*

*loud explosion covered by layers of reinforced concrete*

Amb.: *tries to speak* *cries*
Fleija: By a whisker!
Nonon: I think this man has issues, WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
Tabris: He's not able to speak nor understand our language, he's surely from outside the country.
Nonon: Well, we can't help it. STAY AWAY FROM REI. S-T-A-Y A-W-
Fleija: He probably doesn't have a BabelFish. Someone has a spare one?
Tabris: I don't know why you gave me this when I know every language in the human endeavor.
Nonon: *shakes and slaps the ambassador to make him calm*
Fleija: Well sorry Mr. Google Translate! Can I have it now before he pees himself?
Tabris: *takes the BabelFish*
Nonon: *squeezes the ambassador* QUICK!
Fleija: *takes the BabelFish in the ambassador's hear*
Amb.: PLEASE HELP ME! PLEASE! PLEASE!
Nonon: *bitchslaps the ambassador* STOP WHINING!
Amb.: *stops crying* I-I-I understand what you are saying! Miracle! Oh wait... HOLY VIRGIN OF GUADELOUPE! YOU'RE THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE! Conquest, War and Famine! AND DEATH IS UP THERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Nonon: *shakes the ambassador* We are normal humans! We are the Inner Circle of the President of the Federal Republic of Qingqiu: NPmister.
Amb.: I want to talk to this NPseñor, this is pure madness!
Fleija: He's probably somewhere in another dimension watching some anime.

NPmister: *watching Kill la Kill* AH AH! This is good!

Amb.: Anime? Anima? Alma? SOULS? [Almas = Souls] HE'S THE DEATH ANGEL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
Tabris: I didn't see so many religious references since Evangelion.
Fleija: CALM DOWN! Who are you and why did you came here?
Amb.: I'm Jose Francisco Rafael Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad, Vice-president of the Republic of Lusitania, Senator of the High Council of Gran Colombia and Delegate for Asia and the Northern Pacific Coast in the Minister of Foreign Affair of the Republic. I was sent by the President of the Federal Council to establish friendly relations with your country.
Nonon: Why did you make such a mess then?
Amb.: I arrived at the border with my horse heading to the capital, I thought that near the border some years ago you accepted a colony of rebel refugees, I knew it would have been dangerous to enter that zone but it was almost a generation ago and probably only the sons of the sons remained there and here I had the mayor possibility to orientate with people speaking my same language. Instead I only found skulls, a long road of pitch black girded with skulls.
Nonon: Oh... THAT'S Rei's secret project...
Amb.: I continued to follow the road for hours, thankfully I was prepared, but there were no signs of civilization, I thought I crossed in uncolonized land. After a night I arrived at a lonely kiosk, I entered and politely asked for indications and the man behind the desk went mad. I still hadn't replied when he yelled and took a strange black bar with two needles on the tip. I tried to rush away but I felt a strong shock, it felt like the devil was keeping me in his fist, I fainted and then I woke up in a black room, gagged.
Fleija: Oh well, I can't do anything about it.
Amb.: Why does this cage feel like it is moving? Any what is a "bonker".
Nonon: *giggles*
Fleija: Our friend Rei-
Amb.: THE DEATH HORSEMAN OF APOCALYPSE!
Fleija: Has serious nationalist issues so entering in contact with one of the undesired trait like-
Nonon: EVERYONE outside the borders!
Fleija: -yeah, will trigger an explosion.
Amb.: This does not explain what a "plonker" is.
Nonon: *forcibly contains laughs*
Fleija: What? Oh well, we are like... 200 years ahead. Basically it is a pl-
Amb.: 200 YEARS AHEAD? IT'S THE COUNTDOWN TO THE FINAL JUDGEMENT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Fleija: *knees the ambassador* As I was saying, it is a special place to protect ourselves from the explosions.
Nonon: That means that...
Tabris: Yes, the capital has probably been obliterated. Judging from the shock wave we received, the Zheng He Bay [San Francisco Bay] is much much bigger.
Amb.: What have I done...
Nonon: But we don't give a shit because we have ♫INFINITE MONEEEEEEEEEEEY♫. Plus, NPmister can fix it by writing a line, it's not an issue.
Fleija: Anyway, when will we arrive at the bunker?
Tabris: Well, we should have arrived minutes ago. We are probably falling to death to the center of the Earth following the obliteration of the cable and the pulley by Rei.
Nonon: DON'T SAY THAT WITH THAT POSED LOOK.
Fleija: Nonsense! We are not being crushed to the roof of the lift or whatever happens in this situation.
Tabris: Indeed this is a planned trap, the printer is probably warming.
Fleija: Printer?
Tabris: It's a nice domino reaction, it starts with a few actual pieces of domino and then there's a teapot and...
Nonon: WHAT DOES IT DO?
Tabris: ...and then there's a gun that shots needles and finally we arrive to the printer- Eh? What? What does it do? If I remember correctly it simply activates a lever that opens a trapdoor, this one leads to the higher mantle. Then the rockets of the lift will activate and take us directly to the center of the Earth where it will explode.
Amb.: I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming... *crouches and cries*
Fleija: So this lift has rockets!
Nonon: Wait a minute... WE ARE TRAPPED! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Fleija: NOT ON MY WATCH!

*kicks the ceiling*

Fleija: Is it hot here or is it just me?
Nonon: Take the rockets!
Tabris: How will this help? There's no way we can turn this thing backwards!
Fleija: The lift? WE WILL TURN EARTH UPSIDE DOWN!
Nonon: THIS IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!
Tabris: Just who-
Nonon: THE HELL-
Fleija: DO YOU THINK WE ARE?! *powers the rockets*
Amb.: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!
Nonon: We are in the inner mantle! Outer nucleus!
Tabris: WE ARE AT THE CORE!
Fleija: We have to use this to give us a help! *throws bombs meant to explode in the lift*
Nonon: WE ARE EXPONENTIALLY ACCELERATING!
Tabris: I think we messed up Earth's magnetosphere!
Nonon: EARTH'S CRUST INCOMING!
Fleija: THIS, AMBASSADOR, IS THE END OF THE WORLD!

*lift comes to the surface*
*the lift proceeds going to jet-flying level*

Fleija: The ocean? Weren't we supposed to arrive in Madagascar?
Nonon: The impact with the sea surface will destroy the cabin!
Amb.: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *panic intensifies*
Tabris: Look over there!

*moving black dot on the horizon*

NPmister & Rei: As we always say: TO THE HELICOPTER!
Amb.: *calms down* The moment has arrived. *uses smoke bomb*
Rei: WHAT? THE DAMN TACO! Give me the godrobe!
NPmister: This new version hasn't the scissor blades you requested but the flying feature is now safe.
Rei: Great. Zheng He Fiber overload! *transforms*
???: Very very interesting. A godrobe...
NPmister: What the hell?

*smoke cloud fades away*
*guy in a azure checkered suit with a walking stick shows up of the lift*

NPmister: He's keeping the lift up in the air! He has...
???: Yes, my godrobe has parts of Mikado 2.0's Super Solenoid Engine, I'm his secretary, Kuge 2.0!
Rei: BASTARD! Where do you keep Nonon and the others?
Kuge 2.0: OH OH OH! Christmas must have arrived! Look what I have in my present! *Nonon, Fleija and Tabris are in the lift box*
Rei: BASTARD!
Kuge 2.0: And I still haven't transformed! Nihon-Koku Fiber, OVERLO-
Rei: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! *rips the suit*
Kuge 2.0: MY SUIT! Oh well, good grief. I can transform even with a rag of my godr- WHAT? THE HOSTAGES! NIHON-KOKU FIBER OVERLOAD!
NPmister: *everyone is back on the helicopter* NUKE THE FUCKER!

*submarine emerges*
*atomic explosion in the background*
*Nonon, Fleija and Tabris awake*

Nonon: Wait, where...
Fleija: I don't even...
Tabris: IT WAS AWESOME!
Rei: YOU PLAYED DEAD ALL ALONG?
Tabris: Bitches, I'm immortal.
Nonon: Wha-
NPmister: Of course you don't know what happened! Basically the ambassador was a agent of Mikado 2.0 in disguise, he made all that stuff to arrive at our capital and obliterate it with Rei's force. Luckily the explosion didn't trigger as Rei knew everything, the shock wave was just a feature of the trap you felt into, we initially planned to take the bunker and take it in the middle of the desert to do all that jam but this time we ought to improvise.
Rei: Luckily you found out a way to survive the trap, if you died we-
NPmister: HAD A PLAN INVOLVING TABRIS TO SAVE YOU. *he said with a posed look*
Rei: Anyway, you guys did great but now... LET'S GO OBLITERATING SOME MOTHERFUCKING YAMATOS!

I think we deserve an ENDING THEME


​
 
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Chapter 5
Part 1: Theater of a witch


It's not lupus

*on the way to the battle front*
*everyone is on the helicopter*

NPmister: I'm not feeling very well... *sits down*
Rei: *checks temperature* Oh god! You're being boiled alive, what have you done?
NPmister: I... can't... remember... *faints*
Nonon: This isn't good. Pilot, take us to the nearest city!
Pilot: Roger!

*helicopters lands into an hospital*

Nurse: YOU HAD TO CRUSH IN THE PEDIATRIC WARD?
Nonon: There's no time for typos! Take this man to the doctor, our existence depends on his life.

*everyone is in an hospital room*

Doctor: Oh, NPmister... I thought we talked about this.
Nonon: You know him?
Doctor: Yes, I'm Tactimacti. I'm his best friend and probably the only guy of Scandinavian origin that will not make this guy explode.
Rei: Indeed there's no ticking from my chest.
Fleija: What abo-
Dr. Tacti: Ugro-Finnic technically is not Scandinavian.
Fleija: Oh man...
Nonon: Anyway, what's the deal with him?
Dr. Tacti: It's a rare case of...
Rei: EBOLAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Dr. Tacti: We're in fucking Alaska... IN 1840!
Rei: This is only what the military wants us to think.
Fleija: WE ARE the military!
Rei: We have different points of view.
Dr. Tacti: Anyway, it's a rare case of...
Rei: LUPUS!
Fleija: It's never lupus.
Tabris: I must concur with this statement.
Dr. Tacti: If you guys will stop interrupting me... It's a rare case of (say something and I kick you out of my hospital)... Madoka fever.

*awkward silence*

Nonon: *whispers in NPmister's hear* I hope you die in a fire
Dr. Tacti: I don't joke as much as him, I'm serious. It's Madoka fever with no doubt.
Rei: If I'm stopped from killing FILTHY YAMATOS one more time I swear I...
Dr. Tacti: You guys can go but first let me explain what this disease is. The Madoka fever starts when the subject is exposed to massive amount of Puella Magi: Madoka Magica content during a period of depression in which the immune system is weaker to psychological viruses like this one. If the disease isn't treated immediately the subject can have a painful fall into despair. The symptoms are a high fever, loss of consciousness, high receptivity to lesbians and tears, lots of them.
Rei: Well, he isn't crying at all.
Dr. Tacti: That's the final phase, in this state a normal treatment can save him but if he reaches the next phase, when he starts to repeat every single line in the show, it will probably too late to stop the virus.
Rei: Can we go NOW?
Nonon: Wait a minute, how will you heal him?
Dr. Tacti: We have to fight fire with fire, 18 hours of the opening will rehabilitate its immune defenses to psychological threats and he will be nice and all.
Fleija: Great but this TEXT PART IS TOO LONG WE HAVE TO HURRY!
Rei: TO THE HELICOPTER!

*everyone is on the helicopter*

Nonon: While we were being held hostage by Kuge 2.0 and drilled through Earth crust all the way to the middle of no where in the Indian ocean... What have our units been up to?

FPjxr4F.png

​

Fleija: We will probably be sentenced for crimes against humanity for burning down with no mercy the first Japanese settlement in the New World but...
Rei: This... is... beautiful... *starts to glow with delight*
Pilot: AH AH! This time I have my special anti-nationalist-orgasm glasses! NOTHING CAN STOP ME!
Rei: *shakes the pilot* Glory to Qingqiu... BITCH!
Pilot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *gets blinded*
Tabris: This is the part where we fall to our death in the ocean?
Nonon: Just wait for it...
Fleija: I can see it coming.
Tabris & Nonon & Fleija: Here it is...

*everyone felt in the ocean*

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

*everyone is on the beach*

Mysterious Time Traveling Girl: Stop having luminous orgasms for slaughters made in the name of a painted piece of cloth.
Rei: Uhm....
MTTG: I'm forced to save you from drowning so please be grateful. Your boss is dying of Madoka fever right? Tell him to die in its fire. That bastard... *disappears*
Rei: Man, I should stop smoking weed.
Nonon: You never did.
Rei: I was afraid to ask, following all those adventure we had I felt a bit suspicious.
Fleija: *on her motorcycle* TO THE MOTORCYCLE!
Nonon: We are 5!
Fleija: Please, break the fourth wall! This is just text, they don't know the shape of the motorbike!
Nonon: Oh well...

*everyone is on the motorbike*

Nonon: It's Dr. Tactimacti! *at the phone* Hello?
Dr. Tacti: Guys! The situation is out of control, he's already at the eighth episode. I don't know how he got there in a few minutes but he already made 3 nurses hang themselves, it's probably the Sayaka Sindrome.

*awkward silence*

Dr. Tacti: ...guys?
Rei: *takes the phone* IT'S NOT LUPUS, I SWEAR.
Nonon: Can we please stop with those citations to a show with depressed awkwardly dressed lesbians? WHERE'S THE GAME CONTENT?
Dr. Tacti: ...I feel offended.
Rei: OF COURSE there are tons of citations to the show, he has the Madoka fever. What do you expect? BREAKING BAD?

*meanwhile, somewhere in the desert at the border with Gran Colombia*

College student 1: Professor, why are we in the desert?
College student 2: Yeah, we study philosophy.
Professor: Guys, remember we are part of the Research Ministry, it's our task to research the nation's technological advancements.
College student 1: Why are we in the desert then?
Professor: Damn sophomores, you have no patience...
College students 2: What are we waiting for?
Professor: Take out the grilling machine... WE HAVE TO COOK!


mtlGEfk.png

​

College student 1: My mother told me I had to sign up for jurisprudence...

*meanwhile, somewhere on a road to Alaska*

Fleija: Nobody expects it...
Dr. Tacti: Anyway, if he continues like this... he will die soon!
NPmister: ...For all the happiness you wish for someone, someone else gets cursed with equal misery...
Dr. Tacti: GREY'S ANATOMY NEVER TOLD ME HOW TO HANDLE THIS. AND I NEVER WATCHED IT.

*time stops*

MTTG: We make a contract, I free you from this curse and you free me from mine. Ok?
NPmister: How did you heal me?
MTTG: You surely know how to exaggerate a bellyache, couldn't you tell you ate a corn field while watching all the DVDs you got for Christmas?
NPmister: You want to leave my story then?
MTTG: No shit, Sherlock.
NPmister: Fine, you're kinda forced indeed. Send my regards to Kyoko and Sayaka.
MTTG: *disappears forever*

*time restarts*

NPmister: OK, NO MORE MADOKA MAGICA REFERENCES.
Dr. Tacti: NPmister!
NPmister: I must go, my people need me! *flies away* *inevitably falls to the ground as he can't fly* I'll take a train...


suFKG7M.png

​

*meanwhile*

Nonon: Tactimacti? WHAT HAPPENED?
NPmister: *on the train* CHOOT CHOOT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Rei: So we have trains!
Fleija: DAMMIT! That guy I made head of the research team is again in the desert illegally cooking sausages and meth. Well, at least we have chemistry now!
NPmister: Why no one cares about me?
Nonon: RAILROAD ALL THE PROVINCES!


fl3aYZ0.png

​

NPmister: Fuck you guys.
Nonon: Let's euthanize this chapter please.
NPmister: I can't take it anymore...
Rei: Please save us, I'm tired of keeping this decadent party going.
NPmister: I swear it will be better next time! I'm just a bit tired :(

​
 
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*everyone is on the motorbike* :D

Aside of that, I wonder how long will it take till you actually win the war :D.
 
I feel like we've only done about six months of gameplay in like nine chapters. AND IT IS AMAZE-BALLS

AMAZE-BALLS I SAY!
 
Chapter 5
Part 2: When the primroses bloom

​

When spring starts

*everyone is still on the motorbike*

Fleija: *at the phone* WHAT? We'll be there godspeed!
Nonon: What happened?
Fleija: Our military units have finished the occupation of the Pacific coastline of Kita Kaigan and are heading to the hinterland.
Rei: What's so unusual about that? OUR MEN ARE UNSTOPPABLE!
Fleija: Our exploration units encountered something more than unusual in the middle of the icy hinterland.
NPmister: What is it?
Fleija: YOU WERE ON THE TRAIN A SECOND AGO!
NPmister: No time to explain! What's wrong on the front?
Fleija: Looks like a isolated hill called "Iqqanilyatiq"-
Tabris: In the Yupik Aleutin-Eskimo Dialect of Central Alaska "Iqqanilyatiq" means... "The hill no one went to because the evil spirits of the grass were go-karting there".
Fleija: Well... IT BECAME A FORTRESS TALL AS A MOUNTAIN!
Rei: WHAT? How could our satellites not detect that?
Fleija: We don't have satellites, we're in 1836!
Rei: WE SPEND 25% OF OUR BUDGET ON OUR SPACE PROGRAM!
Fleija: That's the quantity we give to the military!
Rei: SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACE YAMATOS STRIKE BACK! I KNEW IT!
Nonon: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?
Fleija: It was a secret !?
Rei: *white glance* *slow ticking from the body*
Fleija: NOPE NOPE NOPE *gets down the motorbike*
NPmister: RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! *everyone jumps down the motorbike*

*loud explosion*

Fleija: We'll take the train.
Nonon: *head under the sand* *muffled gibberish*
Rei: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey guys!
Tabris: When I look that monster deep in the eyes, the abyss gazes me back.
Rei: *dead serious glance at Tabris*
Tabris: I think she heard me.
Nonon: *manages to extract its head* Where are we right now?
Fleija: We're near the border, we're already at mount caffeine.
Nonon: We better keep somewhat quiet, we know what happened last time this mountain was... stimulated.
Tabris: How would that giant bathtub plug on the mountain prevent Cthulhu's second coming?
Rei: RILYEH'S SCUM WILL NO MORE BOTHER US!
Fleija: I said... TO KEEP QUIET!

*quake*

Nonon: I think this is bad...
Tabris: A quick and simple way to know the second coming of a deity is-
Fleija: OH YEAH! I studied this at Helsinki University Applied Theology Faculty, if they shock wave of the rebirth doesn't arrive in the time of a irrelevant political crisis, the god is still sleeping.

nXepNy9.png

prLYGSL.png

​

Tabris: Wait, is it over yet?
Fleija: Yes, usually irrelevant political crisis are used to measure the decay of super-heavy isotopes of artificially created elements, 5 crisis equal to 1 femtosecond.
Tabris: Humanity has been saved!
Nonon: *ground shakes* What's this sound?
Everyone: ...
Fleija: FUCKING PANIC!

*locomotive spawns from the ground*

Rei: Well, we have our transport.
Tabris: This is a French magnetic levitation train, what do we do with it?
Fleija: ...use it?
Tabris: It needs rails and tons of electricity!
Nonon: We have something better! Rei, get on the back on the train and look for some rockets.
Rei: There's nothing here! Wait... this train is not French...
Nonon: ALL ABOARD!
Rei: IT'S JAPANESE! IT'S A YAMATO MACHINE! FILTHY YAMATOS! *white glace* *slow ticking from the body*
Nonon: 3.
Fleija: 2.
Tabris: What?

*train/Rei-propelled rocket lifts off*

Tabris: We're breaking the sound barrier!
Fleija: WHAT THE HELL? We're rising from the ground!
Nonon: Our altitude is increasing!
Tabris: We entered the enemy territory!
Nonon: Great! Turn off Rei.
Fleija: Roger! ... how do I do that?
Nonon: Fuck! Try punchin-
Fleija: What?
Tabris: Oh yeah... mountains...
Fleija: THAT'S NOT A MOUNTAIN! THAT'S THE ENEMY BASE!
Nonon: Genius plan! Let's use Rei as a laser beam! We have enough momentum to get through it!
Tabris: Roger!
Fleija: What the hell is going on?
Nonon: Get on the head of the wagon!

Nonon: On your mark. Get set... GO!
Fleija: HAKKA PAALLE! *punches through the base*
Tabris: LEROY JENKINS! *laser-beams everything*
Nonon: WE HAVE ALMOST MADE IT THROUGH!

*on the command bridge*
Soldier 1: Sir! An unknown object has pierced through the building!
Soldier 2: It's making serious damages with an unknown weapon!
Mikado 2.0: Oh well, Kuge!
Kuge 2.0: Yes sir?
Mikado 2.0: Prepare the helicopter, we have to prepare for the showdown.
Kuge 2.0: *smiles* La vie est drole...
Mikado 2.0: Life is funny indeed! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *flies away*
Soldier 3: SIR! WE NEED ORDERS!
Mikado 2.0: Your sacrifice will not be forgotten and blah blah blah...
Soldier 3: SIR!
Kuge 2.0: SHUT UP! *decapitates the soldier* See ya in hell. *jumps on the helicopter*

Nonon: WE ARE ALMOST AT THE MISSILES SILOS!
Fleija: Just leave it to me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *crushes through the room*
Tabris: OH MY GOD THIS IS TOO FUNNY!
Nonon: WE ARE ALMOST OUT OF HERE!
Tabris: We need a great exit from the scene! *whispers in Rei's hear* Qingqiu is going to be removed in the next Divergences update.
Rei: *eyes completelly turn deep blue* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Tabris: SEE YA LATER! *throws Rei in the structure*
Nonon: THIS IS THE FINAL BARRIER!
Fleija: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *punches through the wall*

*train wagon crushes to the land*
*everybody stands impassive not looking at the fortress*
*slow echoing ticking*

Nonon: 3.
Fleija: 2.
Tabris: 1.

*giant Rei's-head-shaped explosion*
*ear-tearing cry*
*everybody looks awesome as fuck*


GEaBzFd.png

​

*on the red helicopter*

Mikado 2.0: We will meet again... Rei.
Kuge 2.0: Sir, the Bakufu 2.0 is ready.
Mikado 2.0: Excellent... Those filthy Chinese will taste true vengeance...
Kuge 2.0: The data obtained with my encounter with the Monster gave us important data for our Life Fiber projects, the textile unit waits orders.
Mikado 2.0: Tell them to brace themselves, we'll find victory before the primroses bloom.
Kuge 2.0: As you wish my lord. *smiles*
Mikado 2.0: *smiles*

*back on ground*

Nonon: Cool guys never look at explosions!
Fleija: Well, let's wait until the dust settle on the battlefield... What did you say to make... that happen?
Tabris: Qingqiu is going to be removed or completely reworked in the next Divergences of Darkness patch.
Nonon: WHAT?
Fleija: But then... we wouldn't exist! We would be wiped out of existence!
Tabris: I know, they want to sacrifice awesomeness for plausibility-
NPmister: NOPE!
Nonon: NPmister!
NPmister: Sorry guys, I was having my afternoon tea with Cthulhu and oh my god you can't know how much we laughed! Basically we were throwing biscuit crumbs at each other and- AHAHAHAHAH! He felt down the chair! AHAHAHAHAH! It felt like an earthquake! Then I was looking for my house keys and I banged by head on the shelf! AHAHAHAHAHAH! And then the train model- AHAHAHAHAH! It was no where to be found! AHAHAHAHAH!
Fleija: How can you be so insensitive! We risk being deleted from existence!
Tabris: The Divergence team is against Qingqiu altogether, we are on the edge of deletion.
NPmister: *dead serious glance* I swear. I swear I'll never permit this. Never.
Rei: *naked* HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GUYS! Why so serious?
NPmister: ...prepare for war.
Rei: What is this? The Hearts of Iron 4 trailer? I'LL NEVER PERMIT TO THIS AAR TO HAVE SENSE! NEVER!
Fleija: ♫I'm so happy! Oh happy go lucky me!♫

Oh gosh... Attalus-senpai noticed me! B-b-baka! It's not like I'm happy of this or anything...
 
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So MPmister is a tsundere after all :p
I must say that this AAR brings me back memories I would have prefered forgotten ... (especially that "la vie est drole" which took me 5mn to remember )

Do you want me to send you the Gran Columbia decision ? Since I don't know when the next update will be, you could have it now (it just lacks some localization right now )
 
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