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I'm trying to determine result of an upcoming inheritance and my situation is as follows: I'm king of Ireland, my second son's wife is about to inherit a county in Scotland. This son is not landed (yet). Is it possible to have that county in my realm after she inherits? I cannot make her my vassal because I cannot grand her landed title. If I give my son a county, she will become his vassal, but after inheriting she will be of same level and thus cannot continue to be his vassal and will be independent? So I have concluded that I need to make my son a duke.

I can also push a claim of one of my counts' wife for other county in Scotland. I tried this after saving game and she became vassal of king of Scotland. But here I guess the important difference is pushing a claim vs inheriting a title.

Side question: how do I find out what crown authority has some other realm (Scotland in this case)?
 
I'm trying to determine result of an upcoming inheritance and my situation is as follows: I'm king of Ireland, my second son's wife is about to inherit a county in Scotland. This son is not landed (yet). Is it possible to have that county in my realm after she inherits? I cannot make her my vassal because I cannot grand her landed title. If I give my son a county, she will become his vassal, but after inheriting she will be of same level and thus cannot continue to be his vassal and will be independent? So I have concluded that I need to make my son a duke.

I can also push a claim of one of my counts' wife for other county in Scotland. I tried this after saving game and she became vassal of king of Scotland. But here I guess the important difference is pushing a claim vs inheriting a title.

Side question: how do I find out what crown authority has some other realm (Scotland in this case)?

In this case I think it doesn't matter what you give your son. His wife will inherit and not be your vassal. When it will matter is when their heir , presumably grandisn of your dynasty. Then if that heir has a higher title in your kingdom he'll be your vassal.

I go to the de jure empire map to see what the ca is in other places, you can hover mouse over Map for each area. Don't know if there is an easier way.