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Swindle11

Corporal
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Aug 15, 2011
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I technically already started this AAR in 1399, but I only just decided to begin it today. Playing it on Normal, and lucky nations are set to random.

Backstory:
The Year 1356, the Golden Bull is made official. Yet, Europe's most grim times are soon to come. The Pagan hordes, the Lithuanians, exist in the east. France struggles to decrease noble power in the West, even while the Hundred Years War passes. Bohemia is the only bulwark against foreign aggression against the Holy Roman Empire, and the Balkan Europeans sit in fear as the Muslims grow in power. In between all of this, is Austria. The greatest country in Europe, depending on who you ask.

Albrecht II sits in his imperial palace. "Sigh...25 years of rule, and yet nothing has happened." As he said that, an emissary rushed into the room, chased by guards. Albrecht II raises his hand to call them off. "Speak, you who intrudes my sanctuary."

The emissary pants with exhaustion. "My lord...our allies in Naples have requested our help in attacking the Pope!" Albrecht II takes a moment to catch his breath. "What?! Well...we are in quite the bind. The Duke of Savoy and the King of Naples are currently our only allies. I have no choice..." The emissary gasped. "But Lord! We would shame the Church of God to attack them!" Albrecht II stepped up from his throne and walked to the emissary "I know, but without the King of Naples' support we will have little other choice."

"Very well." The emissary leaves, and Albrecht II faces his court, "All of you! Prepare to get our armies ready to fight the Pope."

4 years later...in 1367

The Results of the Treaty of Rome.
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After Albrecht II died during the war, his son, Rudolf the Fourth, succeeded the throne, only to realize that Naples' true goal was to bring the Curia under its control. Fortunately for him, he was left with the good note that Naples had failed to conquer Rome itself, which would have tarnished Austria's reputation amongst the other Catholics.

Rudolf IV summons Giovanni de Valois, then King of Naples, to the his court in Wien.

The Archduke slams his fist on his throne, "What did you think you were doing?! Attacking the pope is an action so blasphemous that I can't begin to describe my bewilderment at my father's acceptance of your call!"

Giovanni laughed, "Well, the Pope has no right over lands that were rightfully ours, is that not true?" He continues, "Please, I do hope that we remain allies, but you must understand that my act of aggression was purely in the name of righteousness."

Rudolf IV, annoyed, "You are a traitor to Christendom! Leave this place, now!" The guards motioned for Giovanni to leave, and he did so, seemingly in shame. "Well...now that leaves only the Duke of Savoy as our ally. Ah well..."

Skip forward, to nearly two decades later, in 1385...

Austria's Political Situation in 1385
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Ferdinand I the Affably Brutal was the successor of Ludwig I von Habsburg, the one who conquered the Milanese lands that Ferdinand now rules over. He ruled to 1409, engaging in numerous wars to retain Austria's honor. The first, against Hungary, was a dispute over the area of Pressburg, which, at the head of his army, he swiftly destroyed the Hungarian armies...as they were being already heckled by the Bohemians, of course. The second was against the lowly country of Bar, which had the gall to insult our grand country. He also led an army against them, and was soundly defeated by Bar's much more competent leader and soldiers. Ultimately, his reign alloted to little more than the takeover of a small piece of Hungarian territory. He died in 1409, succeeded by Albrecht IV.

The Reign of Albrecht IV

Albrecht IV's realm near the end of his reign.
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Albrecht IV was, arguably, a better ruler than Ferdinand the First. He conquered the province of Sudety from Bohemia, who unjustly excommunicated him, and from Bavaria, a Duchy which had been a thorn in Austria's side since Ferdinand I. His chief ally of the time was Switzerland, which just goes to show the power of the Pope. His chief achievement is considered by many Austrian scholars to be his vassalization of the Duchy of Milan after it made the mistake of turning against Austria in the war against Bohemia. He reigned until 1420, where he was then succeeded by Ladislav I, the first truly great Austrian emperor. He is noted for having fought against the vast Pagan nation of Lithuania, but ultimately failing in the end. However, he is chronicled as the bravest of Austrian rulers regardless.

Joseph I the Great

Joseph I's realm in 1430, after Bohemia was demolished by the great general Otto von Oberg.
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Joseph I gained power after 1424, when Ladislav I's short rule of 4 years ended. He acquired many things for Austria. First, he successfully crippled Bohemia's power, effectively eliminating it's ability to attack Austria. (However, it would make the foolhardy decision of attacking our grand nation once again, only to lose yet another region to Joseph II). He made a vassal of Silesia, thus adding to Austria's already considerable power base in the Holy Roman Empire. Then, he vassalized Anhalt, one of the Imperial electors, securing his successor's abilities to remain emperor for many centuries. He also recruited one of Austria's most excellent Generals, Otto von Oberg, who destroyed army upon army with no difficulty at all. Joseph I's successor, Joseph II, gained power 2 years after his father died in 1434.

Joseph II the Invincible

Austria under Joseph II, the largest it has yet to become
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Joseph II sits in his imperial palace, looking at a map of his realm...

"Bayern, Schleisen, Krakau, Augsburg, Wurzburg, Bremen, Anhalt, and Parma! All of their rulers bow to me! No state in this Empire is stronger than-"

A noble cuts in, "Except the King of France, of course, who you bow to!" The entire court bursts into laughter, then stops when Joseph II gives them all a furious glare.

"We do not bow to the French! They are merely our allies...we will topple them in the future, but for the moment, they are all the help we have access to." As he said that, a messenger runs in, "Sir! The ruler of Ferrara has sent his recognition of your hegemony over him!"

"Ah, good! What of Milan, the Venetians, and the Croats?" The nobles clap at yet another victory for Joseph II's armies, "Well, sir, The Milanese have ceded Lombardia to us, and the Venetians have conceded defeat to our superior armies, from what I have been told. However, the Croatians simply backed down when Venice left the war. That was a good choice of theirs, don't you think?"

"Of course! Yet another victory for us!" A noble says under his breath, "With the help of France, of course..." Joseph II snaps at the offending noble, "What was that?!"

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all, your highness..." Joseph scoffs. "Good then. Now, we turn to the problem of Lithuania..."

And that is where our AAR starts. In Austria, the nobles refer to Joseph II the Invincible as "the puppet Archduke" due to his unflinching acceptance of French aggression in lands he is supposed to protect! In the East, the Pagans of Lithuania have all but destroyed Poland and the Teutonic Order, and the Ottoman Empire continues its aggression across the entirety of the Balkans. How will Joseph II solve this? We don't know, but it will probably be decided when the King of France tells him what to do.
 
The Treaty of Venice.

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The superior Austrian armies easily crushed the armies of the Italians, leading to a short siege of Ferrara, followed by Lombardia, and then finally Treviso. The sieges were short, but brutal. The commanders of the armies were often easily encouraged to describe the carnage of the urban battles in Ferrara, while they joked of the triviality of the attack on Treviso, who fell extremely quickly after the first soldiers assaulted the walls.

"The Venetians ran like scared puppies when our fearsome warriors attacked! Hahaha!" Karl von Hohenberg, describing the battle, "I heard from Ferdinand Wenzel, however, that the occupants of Ferrara were not so fast to fall. He told me of how some soldiers got their arms hacked off by the enemy halberds, and the death and destruction caused by our siege weapons. Good thing I wasn't fighting them, yeah? Hahaha!"

When Joseph II was told of the victory, scholars could not describe his excitement at it. Yet another vassal added to his rule, along with the province of Lombardia ceded to him? It was a prize that caused him stupendous joy.

EU3_4.jpg


In response to the victories, Joseph II commissioned a national epic, of one Ladislav I, the hero of the entire country. It told tales of his endless heroism on the battlefield.

Writer Stephanus Cromer told of why he felt obligated to go through with the epic, "Well, Ladislav I was indeed one of our greatest heroes, regardless of how short-lived his reign was. Do you remember the tale of the Battle of Vilna? Well, in it, Ladislav personally lead at the front of his army against the Lithuanians, being the first to charge into their lines, cleaving off heads as he did it. Then, there is the battle of Wenden, where he lead his outnumbered army to defend the Teutonic province of Wenden, which, while a physical defeat, enhanced our morale considerably. He also crushed the Bavarian army, once again at the head of his army, removing Bavaria's influence as a competitor against us forever. Unfortunately, he died only a short time after his victory against Bavaria. While he did not live for long, his legacy lasts forever. Even Joseph II does not deserve such a grand thing as this." Unfortunately, Stephanus was never heard from again after making that statement.

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War with England!

France has brought us into a war with their archnemesis.
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Joseph II looked from his imperial palace in Wien. "Ah, such a good day to be Archduke. Fighting England is always a good time." Then, he was alerted by the noise of a guard walking to him, "My lord, one of our generals wishes to speak with you."

"What is it, Karl?" Karl motioned Joseph over to the map, and pointed at Italy, colored in red to indicate England's presence. "My Archduke, the English are weak when their land forces are brought into concern. We could possibly overrun the territory with an army half that of what Otto von Oberg used to defeat the Bohemians."

"Hmmm...that is correct. Send your army to attack Romagna, I will alert my vassals to send their armies to attack the English parts of the peninsula as well." Karl stood back up straight, "Of course, my lord."

Later that day, Karl meets with another general, Anton, to discuss the very real possibility of also having to fight Brandenburg. "You should send your army to fight our northern brethren. While I regret us having to do it, they brought this on themself." Anton nodded, "But of course. The Bohemians are also fighting through Brandenburg, we can use them to our advantage."

"Yes. I've been sent a message that Joseph himself also plans to join you in fighting them, so you should have little trouble." Karl stabbed his dagger into the western region of Brandenburg on a map. "You will attack there, as the Bohemians are fighting in the east. Joseph will join you shortly after you've made it there, I assume." Anton nodeed again, "I will march my army there immediately, then."

Blitzkrieg zu Sitzkrieg in Italien.

The Austrian Soldiers smash through English forts in a matter of months
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"Break their defenses! Murder these English intruders!" Karl von Hohenberg screamed to his soldiers as they scaled the walls of the local fort in Romagna. A Knight walks up to Karl, "Sir! The English are breaking with haste! We should have control of the fort in the next few hours." Karl waved the Knight back to his post. "Good! This war should be over soon."

Of course, Karl would be sorely mistaken. In the North, Anton and Joseph fought a bloody war against the Brandenburgers. "Their willingness to fight is appalling." Anton, looking at his army. "The Brandenburgers ran from an army half their size!" Joseph II chuckled. "Yes, now we will push forward and take their capital, which will surely break them."

An infantryman, who was standing guard at the blockade of Siena, arrived to Karl with some disturbing news. "General! We've received word from a messenger that the sovereign of Croatia has actually forced the English to release two Italian countries. We've already been given a notice by their sovereigns that our armies are not welcome in their country." Karl nodded "Well, we will simply sit here and wait on an English army to free their Italian provinces, won't we?"

The Austrian soldiers sit in wait, waiting for the moment to kill an Englishman.
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Joseph II receives a message from a courier. "Brandenburg surrendered to the French? Well, they should be surrendering to us, but very well." Joseph II and Anton march their armies back to the motherland, victorious.

After the months-long Sitzkrieg, and a failed recapture of the Italian mainland by an English force of 18,000 men, a diplomat from England finally proposed a white peace with the court of Austria. "Due to our leader not being here, we will simply speak for him by saying that we accept this peace offer. We hope no bad feelings come from this."

At that, Austria had finally seen peace. Not for long, of course.
 
Should be an interesting one; what are your goals?
 
Well, the first one is to throw off the shackles of dependence from France, the next time they attack an HRE member, I'm not going to stand by and let them do it.
Second would be to ensure my hegemony among the states of Central Europe.
Another is to destroy Lithuania, their existence as a Pagan nation is, of course, a blight on Christendom.
Those are my current goals.
 
Why do people never tell me about their d&t aar's! Anyways, this was added to the AAR section on the d&t thread, but it looks like it's dead :(. PM me when you launch your next aar so I can add it to the list- and good luck.
 
Well, to be honest, I'll have to start a new one, corrupt saves and all, lol. I'll tell you when I start a new one, though.

EDIT: Nevermind, I found a working one that's fairly close to the date that I ended at.
 
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War with Bohemia!

The words that sifted through every city in the Habsburg lands.
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Joseph II stands on a pedestal, addressing his people in the capital of Wien, "Yet again, our most hated enemies, the Bohemians, have chosen to wage war on us! Once again, we are forced to stand and show our might to these stubborn people! And once again, we shall rip their armies to shreds!" He paused as a loud roar of approval echoed through the city center, "Even the Venetians and Croats have taken up arms against us! As they have always done...but they are foolish! Our mighty armies will crush the petty republic, and stamp down the Slavic barbarians!" A small army starts chanting to the side for some time, until Joseph calls them off, "Even now, our allies and vassals mobilize their armies to fight against these people in defense of our great nation!"

Joseph walks to the training grounds of the soldiers as they prepare to go fight the Czechs and their allies. "...once again, the boot of our soldiers must trample the lands of the defiant."

The Southern Front

The Battle of Verona
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The battle was, like all Austrian battles, brutal, but swift. The Battle of Verona was perhaps the most decisive of the southern front, as the Croatians did not have the resolve of their Italian allies. From dawn 'til dusk, Austrian and Venetian clashed across the region around Verona, until it finally culminated in a large battle near the city itself. "Joseph II commanded the much smaller Austrian army well against the Venetians, but they had shown a resolve at Verona that we had not yet seen in many decades from them." One scholar recounts, "It took many attacks by increasingly larger Austrian armies to finally dislodge the Venetians from the Lombard city."

Of course, at the same time, Venice's one province on the whole European continent had already been conquered, by a Milanese army sent by Milan's duke. A small Venetian army tried to break Austrian control over the province's prime city, but failed as an Austrian army destroyed it, as the Venetian army in Verona quickly followed.

The Croatians capitulated almost as quickly as they had joined the war, their armies failing to match the quality of the Austrian armies, and are therefore rarely mentioned in modern history books when this war is spoken of.

The Bohemian Front

"As previous history had foretold after Otto's victory against 38,000 Czech soldiers with his 19,000, the Bohemians stood no chance against us..." - Joseph II
EU3_12-1.jpg


The Bohemians started out successful, but only due to the lack of Austrian soldiers defending the northern battlefields. Once the Austrian and Bavarian relief army had arrived, the Bohemians knew that their doom was soon to come.

"The Silesians showed exemplary service in the name of our Archduke, effectively holding their own against the Bohemian armies as they marched into the lands of Schleisen." Oskar von Habsburg, an Austrian general on the Bohemian front recounts, "We spent many months keeping the Bohemian resistance down while our armies tried to take over their forts and cities, and while it was a long and excruciating battle, we finally managed to subjugate them, the final bloody battle at their capital being one of the greatest I have yet seen - perhaps they would make good vassals of the Archduke, one day."

After many months, a Bohemian diplomat finally arrived at the peace tables in Wien to discuss an end to the war, only two months after the Croatians and Venetians had finally capitulated. "What are your terms, Austrian?" Joseph II scoffs, "Strong words, for a man whose realm has tried and failed to defeat us numerous times in the past. However, we demand that you return the Polish king the throne of whatever lands he may have left." The diplomat took a moment to take in what was just asked of him, "You mean...for us to cede an entire country from our realm?! That would be suicide on our part! The populace would be up in arms!" The Austrian congregation laughed, "Of course it would, but it is more for our own personal gain. We need to further our interests in the East, and that is the only means we have to achieve it at the moment. Also, for what little it matters, return the Duke of Transylvania his throne too, if only to add insult to the injury of your defeat." The diplomat seethed with rage, "You can't do this...but I have no choice. We accept, you demon."

Europe after the War with Bohemia

Western Europe is stable...for the moment.
EU3_13.jpg


After the war, a request by a particularly influential church in Wien was sent, with approval from the Pope, to Joseph II personally.
EU3_14.jpg


"Conquer Jerusalem...? Has Europe not already given up on the idea of this before? We don't even have a proper fleet, Priest. How do you expect us to fight the Saracen from here?" Joseph II threw the document to the ground, "Send this request to a ruler that is still interested in 'Crusading'...what a disgrace."

An emissary came shortly after the Priest left, "Sire, we have received word that the Bohemians are being torn apart by a large grouping of heretics. What should we do?" Joseph II looked around for a moment, "Well, their affairs are not our own. Why should we help the traitorous Bohemians, anyway? They have done nothing but cause us trouble." The emissary walked away, then turned back around. "Oh, I almost forgot. We have received word from the local commander of Gorz that rebels rose up, and only a short time afterward, another commander reported a rebellion in Cremona...financed by Venice."

EU3_17.jpg


Joseph II became angry, "What?! Even after we broke their armies, they continue to fight us indirectly?! The cowards...unfortunately, we have no means of countering their efforts, for we do not wish to look like them, do we?" A nobleman that Joseph II was looking at at the time shook his head no, "Well then, you are free to leave." The emissary then turned and walked away.

The Puppet Emperor

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"Lord, the Teutonic Order has called for our help against...France." The nobles eagerly awaited the Puppet Emperor's response, "Well...what are we to do? The Order is a very minor ally, and are not worth the trouble of fighting such a power as France. Again, I say no to fighting them. Only when the time is right."

The nobles all chuckled some, but their response was much more serious, as if they understood Joseph's reasoning. "Of course, my Lord. I will inform the Hochmeister of your position on this as soon as possible."

Where will this lead Austria? I do not know.

Also, some interesting notes:

(1): Lithuania converted to Orthodoxy while I wasn't paying attention, so I am now unsure of my stance on their presence.
(2): China has devolved into another Warring States period, although Song is the largest country there is in the area.
(3): Hafsids are enormous, and are probably the dominant power in North and Central Africa.
(4): The Mamluks were previously the dominant Muslim power of the ME, but they are falling behind in tech quite fast.
 
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