• We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.

unmerged(271561)

First Lieutenant
6 Badges
Feb 21, 2011
271
0
  • Crusader Kings II
  • Darkest Hour
  • Europa Universalis III: Chronicles
  • Victoria 2: A House Divided
  • Pillars of Eternity
  • Humble Paradox Bundle
pw_ireland_flag.png


The VagabondvonLMG Irish AAR is back by popular demand! (Thanks, Stratagyfan101) And this one will go waaaaay better! I promiss! You know I'd never lie to you baby....

Any way, This one starts 16 after the ham loaf king's adventures in 1399, so it takes place in 1415. Nice Math!

The first episode will be posted in a wee bit, ma' lads, so get ready-'cause theirs a HurAARcain 'a brewin'!

Oh, also thanks to Ramidel for the advice :)
 
Last edited:
CHAPTER I: THE WARS OF IRISH UNIFICATION

Introduction
Cork, Munster, 1415

King Conchobhar III looked upon his smelly and urine-soaked subjects and thought "Is this truly what we have been reduced to? Six illiterate tax collectors and my father's dwarf? Ireland deserves better. Even worse, the kingdom was fractured into four parts-The raunchy Leinster to the east, the poor Connought to the northeast, and the stupid Ulster on the northern coast. Conchobhar knew that his kingdom, Munster, was a jewel among turds. Also, England had Meath, so that sucked too.

EU3_1.jpg


Connie devised a plan of Irish dommination, first he would attack Connought to ease their suffering, then up to Ulster aslo as a form of mercy killing. Then his armies would march back down to regroup, and finally comence the final attack on Leinster. Afterwords, he would decide what to do with England.

Will Connie succed? Will England make me cry? Will you comment on the AAR?
Only time will tell on....

THIS TIME IT'S FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
 
CHAPTER I: THE WARS OF IRISH UNIFICATION

Episode 1
Cork, Munster, 1415

King Connie sat in his throne, waiting for his grand army to be assembled. About three weeks later, his aide rushed into his chamber.

Aide - "Mah Lard! Yer Grande Army hax beene assembled!"
King Connie III - "Excuse me, did you just call me 'Lard'"?
Aide - "Nowe mah Lard! I just called ye me Lard!"
King Connie III - "You just said it again! How dare you insult my weight!"
Aide - "Nowe, Lard, I said Lard!"
King Connie III - "Lard?"
Aide - "Lard."
King Connie III - "Oh, you mean Lord!"
Aide - "Yes, Lard, Me Lard."
King Connie III - "That's it. You're dying."

And he did, right after Connie examined his grand army of 3,000 mercenaries. And they were then sent to "liberate" Connought.

EU3_2.jpg


The sorry Connoughtese Army was destroyed by the might of the Munsterese Mercenaries, and the province was soon under Connie's thumb.

EU3_3.jpg


And his troops wasted no time blitzkreiging into Ulster.

EU3_4.jpg


Who also fell with much ease.

EU3_5.jpg


And finally, Leinster suffered the same fate.

EU3_6.jpg


Now all that was left was Meath....

Also, look at how deep Scotland is into the English mainland :)

NOTE: I later took out those rebels.

See y'all next time on....

THIS TIME IT'S FOR REAL!!!!!!1
 
Last edited:
See the swords of Glen Imayle,
Flashing o'er the English pale
See all the children of the Gael,
Beneath [Vagabond's] banners!
Rooster of the fighting stock,
Would you let a Saxon cock
Crow out upon an Irish rock,
Fly up and teach him manners!

Give them Saxons a good thrashing :D
 
See the swords of Glen Imayle,
Flashing o'er the English pale
See all the children of the Gael,
Beneath [Vagabond's] banners!
Rooster of the fighting stock,
Would you let a Saxon cock
Crow out upon an Irish rock,
Fly up and teach him manners!

Give them Saxons a good thrashing :D

lol You know I will. Im going to scorch the earth and rename London 'Popycockville'
 
CHAPTER I: THE WARS OF IRISH UNIFICATION

Episode 2
Cork, Munster, 1417

King Connie had executed bith the aide and the unification plan perfectly. All of the former Irish kingdoms were under his rule. Now all that was left was the province of Meath. The English King, Reginald Drumbucket, had gotten himself in a war with France and Scotland. This would be a perfect time to take Meath, but somthing told him that that wouldn't be a good idea. He would wait to take Meath, and he would need to improve his relations with some powerful nations....

Scotland

EU3_7.jpg


Papal State(s) (Who I actually got an alliance from)

EU3_9.jpg


Castille

EU3_12.jpg


:(

EU3_13.jpg


The most likley place to give me an alliance at the moment is Scotland

Heres some misc. photos for ye as well-

We're number 1 !(?)

EU3_8.jpg


Scotland's Conquests!

EU3_14.jpg


Connoughtian Nationalists Take Meath !(?)x2

EU3_18.jpg


An overview of my empire!

EU3_15.jpg


Hope you enjoyed this installment of....

THIS TIME IT'S FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
 
Go Scotland! Who are the War Leaders in the England / Scotland war? Wondering whether Scotland might be able to make some territorial gains. Cumbria and Northumberland would be a good start...

Hopefully the English will be too busy to stop the Nationalists in the Pale - one swift annexation and Ireland is yours :) Good luck!
 
LOL! I wonder if you'll conquer Meath without ever fighting the Poppycockers!

It looks that way. All I know is that Im not stopping them

Go Scotland! Who are the War Leaders in the England / Scotland war? Wondering whether Scotland might be able to make some territorial gains. Cumbria and Northumberland would be a good start...

Hopefully the English will be too busy to stop the Nationalists in the Pale - one swift annexation and Ireland is yours :) Good luck!
Actually Scotland was allied with france in the hundred years war. And (spoiler alert!) they took northumberland. But england had -26% warscore lol

The AI is silly though, because after taking half of england, they only took one province lol
 
Last edited by a moderator:
CHAPTER I: WARS OF IRISH UNIFICATION

Episode 3
Cork, Munster, 1421

With King Connie, dead, his heir inhereted the third biggest kingdom on the Brittish Isle (Four Provinces!) But to be honest, it was laaaaaaame. His stupid dad groomed him to be a king, but all he wants to do is listen to grunge lute. Any way, he had to pay attention to these lame posers in some redneck province called Meath. But it took like 10 years for any action to happen. GOSH! And also, these preps over in England totaly took some of our land a long time ago. OMG why is eveyone in this area so lame?

Any way, ten freaking long years latter, those posers gained they're independence, so, thast pretty beast....

EU3_22.jpg


And there was no way I was living next to a bunch of rednecks so I totaly destroyed them, which was totaly killer.

EU3_23.jpg


And my armies were so beast that they totaly pwned those n00bs like, fastly.

EU3_24.jpg


And then I wanted my flag to be some awesome backwards "D" ona blue background, pretty wicked huh?

EU3_25.jpg


So, yeah thats it, see you later, n00bz.

Tune in next time for....

THIS TIME, IT'S FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!1
 
CHAPTER II: THE THOUSAND YEARS OF BOREDOM

Episode 4
Cork, Munster, 1425

(Note: There will be no screens for this one, because there is little action involved, so if you're one of those people who just looks at an AAR's pictures, you will be dissapointed)

Connie's Heir had done it. Ireland was united, saddly, days latter he died in a tragic skateboarding acciedent, luckily, his heir was in his 20's (and not a little douche) so the Irish throne would not fall to an awful Regency. I was able to raise our relations with Scotland, France, Castille, Portugal, and I was able to have an alliance with Brittany (who is at war with England, so....)

Did I mention this was a short update? Well....it is.

Join me next time for a screen-filled installment of....

THIS TIME, IT'S FOR REAL!!!!!!!!1