Zoroafrica or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Embrace My Bad Ideas [1.21]

[firezatswill9]

Huh, good to know about rebels and how they create cores. I'd just never seen a province have no cores on it before, unless it was a former colony.

That's one thing I like about this game, you can ALWAYS learn something new!

 

[firezatswill9]

Chapter 14: The Trader in Our Midst

Where we last left off, we were getting ready to expand in the spice islands.

We took a loan or two, and finally embraced manufactories, so we could start to tech up again.

And I do love cheap tech!

We're now considered too strong for the Brits, good to hear. We still do owe them a good smacking or two, though. Eh, that's for a later date.

Right now, we're eliminating the need for a naval invasion by taking one of Tidore's provinces via a very threatening letter. Also, we needed a direct land connection to Bali, otherwise we'd need a claim, since we don't have nationalism yet.

While we wait for our troops to get transported over, we decide to jump on the last coptic power in Africa. This was mostly to try and contain the Turks, since they were at war with them. So any land we can box away from them is power they can't get. The Ottomans WILL be our end game boss, since they have some of the lands needed for restoring the fires, right now, we're just letting them live and do some heavy lifting for us... if they ever get out of debt...

With our troops in position, we declare on Bali. Since Sunda is only allied to Bali, we make them a co-belligerent, since there's literally no reason not to.

We keep on making our way down the splendor bonus list, getting all the useful bonuses as we do.

Huh, Sunda decided that defending their homeland wasn't as good a choice as sieging the horn up. Silly AI, we didn't leave our home undefended, we're also killing silly copts!

Hindustan formed?!

I've actually only seen this happen once before, a good while back, I think it was before Cossacks came out. Never seen the AI form Bharat, though.

Sunda, your passport was rejected, so we're going to have to ask you to leave.

And we're confiscating your lives, they're contraband here.

We unlocked our next idea group, and we ended up going with influence. I left the decision open for a bit, though, so if you see the "open idea group slot" popup, that's why.

This notification made me happy. Then I remembered that most of the land Multan has is crap, and Jaunpur is Jaunpoor in this game.

This was our peace deal. We ate Bali, and got a toehold next to Sunda. Our next war will be a fast one, thanks to that.

Huh. The Turks were winning, but then took nothing in the peace deal. Brilliant, simply brilliant. Sometimes, I, too, declare wars against countries in high attrition areas, simply because I find myself to have too much manpower in reserve

Uh-oh, bad rolls means bad fights...

Darfur didn't get the message. We shoot, they die. Not the other way around

But, a quick look at their ideas show why we lost so easily. I turned off the option that forces you to have 50% or less of an idea group type before taking another of the same type. Wanted to see how the game played with the old rules in place, might explain why I've been having some extra difficulty with wars in this campaign.

DARFUR, WE SHOOT, YOU DIE! GET IT?!

They get it now

A bad event for scutage? Pah, I need fighters, not whiners!

This is our peace deal, we avoided taking most any land the Ottomans wanted, as to avoid them forcing us into an early boss battle. We also made sure to encircle as much land as we could, to keep it safe from Turkish hands.

We then declared on Ethiopia, to destroy any chances of a coalition forming. Probably didn't have to, but I wanted to do.

Spain's truce with us is up, but if you look at Iberia, I don't think we're going to get another surprise declaration anytime soon.

Aussa was preventing us from easily squishing that one stack in our land. So we went to war for military access, much faster than asking for it.

Ethiopia was wiped from the map, and many of their cores were destroyed. Goodbye and good riddance!

We just took cold hard cash from Aussa, we (Ajuuraan) didn't have the room for more land to core. We'll end them later.

Well, the good thing is, the Ottomans are out of debt. Bad thing is, their manpower quickly becomes the new choke point.

We got our alliance with Milan back!

It broke a few years later, since I forgot to improve relations

Oh, what's this? Zoroafrica is the #1 Great Power? IN YOUR FACE, LOSERS! We're number one, we're number one!

I noticed that France had some PU minions, and before I checked who they were, I was kinda nervous. Usually, in my past games, France gets BIG partners, like Sweden or Russia or Ulm. But what do they have now? Brittany, Bavaria, and Savoy. Man, those are some heavy hitters!

Hindustan is at war, but they'd still join against us. Well, that's fine, the Ottomans won't help us, so we're not declaring at this point in time.

Speaking of, the Ottomans are getting THRASHED. This warms the cockles of my heart, seeing the AI pull off something like this offensive.

The best part? This was a war that the OTTOMANS declared. Not a coalition, just a conquest war!

Ya done goofed, Osmanaglu.

Benin could become our vassal peacefully, something we go for immediately. Having someone to feed that sunni land is nice, that land will be a problem for future me.

We ended up getting called into a war against Portugal, due to a miscalculation as to when that war started. Oh well, I like bashing in some Portuguese faces

Okay, this peace deal really bugged me. As far as I can tell, those provinces were probably about 40-45 WS total (thanks to admin efficiency and potential absolutism), and most of the Ottomans' European holdings were sieged up. Austria probably had somewhere close to 60-70 WS, due to the fortifications, or lack thereof, in Anatolia.

And I know that when I utterly defeat the Ottomans, I take only a handful of provinces, and a single ducat. That'll keep them down for the count

Here's another thing that's kinda irksome. Now, thanks to @atwix's explanation, I now know that the other rebels I faced in Arabia were WAD. But this here is most DEFINITELY not. Oman, unless they are guided by a player, or propped up by the Turks, will NEVER get that far into Persia, and didn't in this game. So why are there Omani rebels in Persia? I've seen this before, just bringing it to light now since I have a picture.

Stupid rebels, ignoring the culture group of the land. That'd be like Dutch separatists running into London and burning the place down, while shouting "WE WANT OUR HOME TO BE FREED!" So dumb...

And Hindustan is no longer an eligible rival for us. I mean, we JUST have double their total development, no big difference, right?

Also, @Tom D., look here. Maybe I was wrong about the AI and naval attrition, Portugal clearly has the symbol indicating attrition. They're not getting any attrition due to their proximity to one of their finished colonies. Maybe the naval AI got an overhaul since that dev message was put on the main board. Who knows.

We're kinda scraping the bottom of the barrel on bonuses here, this is the last bonus that is even remotely useful for us.

Since our navy was in Indonesia, and it would have taken over a year to ferry them back to Africa, then to Iberia, we decided to have our troops WALK from the horn, all the way to Portugal! Good thing we're not a pizza delivery company, otherwise they'd have a free pizza on their hands!

Portugal, once you were a threat. Now you are an embarrassment.

Sunda, your time is up, time to join the greatest power on earth!

And I don't mean as an ally.

Unfortunately, this is probably one of the last conquests we can do in this node, since Kedah is a tributary of Ming, and they own a lot of land in this node, and in Malacca.

Also, look at this! A female general! Girl power!

Dogpile on Sunda! Interesting development, very interesting...

Portugal, their homeland in Iberia is burning, their people cry for help, so what do they do? Siege our newly taken lands, of course!

To be fair, that was probably the safest move they could do, since they have naval superiority here, meaning our fleet is boxed in.

In the end, all we got was a small bathtub filled with ducats. Not bad, not great either. Oh well, that wasn't the goal of allying Benin.

I should really put in a token cavalry or two in my stacks, they might help.

Hello, nationalism CB, my old friend. We can now, officially, stop caring about dip tech. We may tech it up on occasion, but it's no longer something we care about.

And we're too big for Spain, too. Hah, wimps!

Sunda isn't great at fighting.

Benin's flag impressed us, they're so brazenly brutal. So of course we had to make them our vassal!

This is our peace with Sunda. We took all but one of their provinces, and made them our vassal. Why do that, I can hear you ask. And once again, I JUST changed the locks, how do you people keep getting in my house?!

Why, we're at war with Kedah. And what's this? We're the defender? Oh gee golly, mister, that seems like a mistake there, Kedah.

No Ming, no problem. And we FINALLY have morale that is comparable with most countries, you know, ones with REAL ideas? Thanks, event!

Here's the state of the war. Simple as pie.

Piece of cake.

Our king died, and we FINALLY have an heir that has a strong claim! We can FINALLY stop using mil points to get our legitimacy up to max when he takes the throne!

Bye, Kedah. Sorry you made the tiny mistake of attacking the strongest country in the world.

Right now, we're at about 1900 dev, so I decided to make Galicia a march. Fun fact, if you make a vassal a march, and the vassal was on scutage, they will be put off scutage, without any maluses.

Cleaning up these horrible borders.

And now the Ottomans win a war. I don't even know what's going on with Europe.

More crusades, because why not?

I was so happy when I saw this popup, but then I was saddened by the fact that they're a tributary. I'd rather fight Persia+Hindustan than Persia+Ming.

BTW we cleaned up the borders in Africa. Forgot to get a screenshot.

And it looks like we're helping out our bestest buddy in the whole world! I DID promise that I would help them in their next war, so in the next chapter, we're going to be doing just that!

We've already reached one of the goals, since I got the "from humble origins" achievo after the war with Darfur. So huzzah!

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!

 

[atwix]

Here's another thing that's kinda irksome. Now, thanks to @atwix's explanation, I now know that the other rebels I faced in Arabia were WAD. But this here is most DEFINITELY not. Oman, unless they are guided by a player, or propped up by the Turks, will NEVER get that far into Persia, and didn't in this game. So why are there Omani rebels in Persia? I've seen this before, just bringing it to light now since I have a picture.

WAD.

Oman got full annexed, and wherever their leftover army was...

they got turned into rebels on the spot. AI then finishes its last movement command from during war, sieges that end target province, and then usually walks back to their cores to siege those up.

USUALLY.

As you can see, omani seperatists didn't make cores in occupied terrain, because it wasn't in their culture up there.

It was just leftover omani army turning into rebels 's all.

 

[Tom D.]

Since Suanda is only allied to Bali,

It's Sunda instead of Suanda actually .

But, a quick look at their ideas show why we lost so easily. I turned off the option that forces you to have 50% or less of an idea group type before taking another of the same type. Wanted to see how the game played with the old rules in place, might explain why I've been having some extra difficulty with wars in this campaign.

I always wondered what the effect would be, and I'm wondering whether in a scenario as Prussia or France if it would be beneficial to remove the 50% limit. I don't really think it changes that much.

Also, @Tom D., look here. Maybe I was wrong about the AI and naval attrition, Portugal clearly has the symbol indicating attrition. They're not getting any attrition due to their proximity to one of their finished colonies. Maybe the naval AI got an overhaul since that dev message was put on the main board. Who knows.

Maybe, or Paradox just thinks they improved AI so well it doesn't need that cheat anymore (you're wrong Paradox).

I should really put in a token cavalry or two in my stacks, they might help.

Haha, @atwix hear that advice, and it comes from another EU4 expert/veteran .

 

[firezatswill9]

WAD.

Oman got full annexed, and wherever their leftover army was...

they got turned into rebels on the spot. AI then finishes its last movement command from during war, sieges that end target province, and then usually walks back to their cores to siege those up.

USUALLY.

As you can see, omani seperatists didn't make cores in occupied terrain, because it wasn't in their culture up there.

It was just leftover omani army turning into rebels 's all.

Normally, I'd agree with you, since that's the case 99% of the time. The only issue is, that Oman hasn't existed for around about 50 years, we full annexed them a while ago, and I'd have taken notice if they broke free. After all, I've had my finger on Persia's pulse for a while now.

Since I had wiped out the Omani forces in that war, the only way separatists could have popped up would be from a rebellion, and there's a LOT of Omani cultured land that they could go to, instead of Persian. But Arabia remains untouched by them.

I've seen this happen in streams, as well. Rebels are wonky, this patch. No idea why.

 

[firezatswill9]

It's Sunda instead of Suanda actually .


I always wondered what the effect would be, and I'm wondering whether in a scenario as Prussia or France if it would be beneficial to remove the 50% limit. I don't really think it changes that much.


Maybe, or Paradox just thinks they improved AI so well it doesn't need that cheat anymore (you're wrong Paradox).


Haha, @atwix hear that advice, and it comes from another EU4 expert/veteran .

Sunda, got it. I can't recall a game, before this one, where they ended up beating Majapahit. So I took a guess at their name. Nothing a little ctrl-f can't fix!

And I don't know that it'd matter for Prussia or France, since you usually want to get other idea groups for policies, that's where the REAL power comes from. You only need to take 4 of the mil groups in order to get the full benefit, 5 if you like cavalry. So you have plenty of room to spare, regardless.

What? Noooo, they don't cheat, they just... interpret the rules differently. Like forts, they're easy to get around. Just run right through them.

I'll take that compliment with pride, thank you very much!

 

[stnylan]

Oh the Ottomans are providing plenty of "entertainment" one way or another.

 

[firezatswill9]

Chapter 15: Persia, the Homewrecker

Where we last left off, we had been helping Morocco in their war with Mali.

Looks like they have it under control, but we'll still give a hand.

Siak is surprisingly loaded. That 54k stack left me questioning about when would be the best time to attack, if ever.

I joke, there's ALWAYS a good time to attack any nation.

Meanwhile, Hindustan had dragged Persia into their war with Multan and Ming. Keeping my eye on THAT, we've still only have one of our goals finished atm.

Meanwhile, Ajuuraan is living up to their nickname of "Najd Lite". There's no way Najd would have trouble with any silly coptic land.

Ottomans will FINALLY join a war, and for favors, to boot. NO HESITATION!

And our war in Mali ended, which is good. We had abandoned that front after we sieged up what is now Dagbon. Persia is more important that Morocco, unfortunately.

Persia is already a bit occupied with Ming and Multan, meaning we're going to have to keep our eye on the lands that border the Ottomans. Gotta siege that up myself if I want to get it in this war.

Hindustan, do you know what a cannon is? What about cavalry? No? Okay then, you do you, I guess.

A quick look at Hindustan's ideas. Nothing super worrying, so we're only worried about their numbers. The fact that they're 3 techs behind us in military is a bonus, though.

Persia, however, IS worrying. They have morale out the wazoo, and even though their army is small, it could give us a run for our money if we're caught unaware.

Thanks to the Turks, we outnumber these two schmucks almost 2:1.

Persia has a pretty good leader, but this time, we have our own generals, and they're pretty much equivalent in pips.

Seriously, Hindustan, buddy, guy, pal, friendo, let's chat. I see you have a lot of infantry, that's cool, it's pretty nice. Now, wanna know what would go GREAT with them, as a sort of wingman? Well, we got these big, hollow trees, made of iron, and they shoot coconuts made of iron. And man, they do WONDERS in the fire phase. And you know what they say about fire, it doesn't come second.

Oh shoot, we were caught unaware. Hope we can reinforce in time.

Just kidding. Mountain penalty for Persia? Easy as 1, 2, 3.

Get outta my country.

Thanks to a strategic blockade of 3 light ships (made back in the late 1400s), we're able to protect our land that we actually care about.

Plus, we're forcing 3.5% attrition onto our enemies, since we're trapping them in Arabia.

Oh nuts, we actually were caught unaware.

See, Hindustan? I told you, cannons would have helped in this phase, but you just HAD to try and prove me wrong. This is all on YOU.

OK, we're gonna go kill this stack, that's twice that they found our weakest stack.

Reinforcements are just a week out, men! Hold these Persians off, like that one Greek guy!

Cowards ran away the second we reinforced. Wimps!

Ottomans, WTF man?!

I was unaware that the AI would do this during war. I mean, yeah, relations had been slowly breaking down over the years, but this was really out of the blue.

Well, shoot. Looks like we're getting an early appearance of the final boss. I had hoped to hold off on fighting them until 1730 or so, but it looks like that's not happening anymore.

Yeah, that alliance is never coming back. Well, that's FINE THEN! I was tired of doing this dance, Ottomans! You have brought upon the full wrath of the worlds greatest power!!

At the turn of the century, the Enlightenment spawned in Genoa. So the age of Absolutism is coming to an end. Bring on the revolution, comrade!

I think that's the type of revolution we're talking about. Could be wrong, though.

White peace with Hindustan gives us an immediate 100% with Persia. Unfortunately, when Ming had peaced out, the Ottomans were able to snipe some of the border provinces, due to our forces being caught up killing the Persian army, and sieging down their remaining forts. Oh well, they can claim it all they want, I'm never giving it to them.

In the end, this is the peace deal we settled on. Now, I'll give you all a minute to look at this, and think about what EXACTLY I did wrong here. It's OK if you don't get it, I'll explain shortly.

Ugly, but most of Persia is enclaves in our land. So we'll be able to eat it without worry.

Yup, NEVER gonna be allies again. Just had to double check, since the AI has been wonky before. Welp, time to find better friends! With blackjack! And hookers! Y'know what, forget the blackjack!

Thanks to the fact that our primary culture is Persian, we're able to core this land in just over a year's time, huzzah!

Well, the Ottomans made us their rival, any slim chance we had at mending the gap had just dried up. So we hate you, too, Ottomans! You smell like rotten fish!

And now, ladies and generals and lady generals, I present to you, MY MISTAKE!

Yeah, remember how we took just shy of 100% OE? Well, some of our admin efficiency was from absolutism. And, wouldn't you know, religious unity is one of the half dozen things that determines the maximum value. And we JUST so happened to take almost an entire Persia's worth of Shia land.

So yeah, we were bumped up to 102% OE. Rats.

Yup, my bad. Didn't even think about that, shoulda taken humanist to avoid this issue. Oh well, it's only 10 more months.

Heh, y-yeah, only 5 more months...

And, now we could fight the Turks. We're safe for now, they're fighting in Europe. So we took the time to ferry our troops over from Indonesia. Gotta protect that border we have.

Now Poland is our friend! Hah! Take that, Ottomans, the winged hussars have arrived ON MY SIDE!

Now, I'm going to stop here, on the ledger. As you can see, we're pretty close to the Ottomans in raw troop count, although they have WAY more manpower. Poland wouldn't be much of an immediate help, with their nearly empty manpower pool.

I'm contemplating whether or not I should open up a second front against the Ottomans, since Austria is only at -12 WS, and we could, potentially, trigger a dog pile. But, I do worry about my troop count & manpower, as well as our relatively poor ability to protect our border in Africa, thanks to Ajuuraan being an open door. Could always take them off scutage, I guess. Anyways, give me your thoughts on this idea, since this is a bit of a precarious position ATM.

The only other thing I'd feel comfortable doing would be attacking Perm, who is allied to Persia. That'd give us a larger border with the Ottomans, including several mountain provinces.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

 

[atwix]

Ottomans, WTF man?!

I was unaware that the AI would do this during war. I mean, yeah, relations had been slowly breaking down over the years, but this was really out of the blue.

wait.... WHAT.

I thought AI was hardcoded not to be able to break alliance during a war. Heck, they don't during a bankruptcy.

WTF.

Anyhow, did ottomans get new ruler that is militarist, and previous one was administrator? Did opinion with ottomans fall below 100 after new king took throne? if that is case, they CAN go hostile and break alliance over wanting your neighbouring land.

but during a war? never seen that.

anyhow, if you ally militaristic nations like burgundy or ottomans, ALWAYS try to keep relations above 100. they can't go hostile then.

Want your provinces modifier scales if their miitary rating is lot better then yours, but I think you did not increase relations enough? Surely wants your provinces wasn't more then -100 right?

either that, or they broke alliance over sharing vital interest. militarists go bonkers on alliances if you got shared vital interest.

Now Poland is our friend! Hah! Take that, Ottomans, the winged hussars have arrived ON MY SIDE!

who else is rival of ottomans? can you ally russia or france or GBcause of being rival to otto?

 

[firezatswill9]

wait.... WHAT.

I thought AI was hardcoded not to be able to break alliance during a war. Heck, they don't during a bankruptcy.

WTF.

Anyhow, did ottomans get new ruler that is militarist, and previous one was administrator? Did opinion with ottomans fall below 100 after new king took throne? if that is case, they CAN go hostile and break alliance over wanting your neighbouring land.

but during a war? never seen that.

anyhow, if you ally militaristic nations like burgundy or ottomans, ALWAYS try to keep relations above 100. they can't go hostile then.

Want your provinces modifier scales if their miitary rating is lot better then yours, but I think you did not increase relations enough? Surely wants your provinces wasn't more then -100 right?

either that, or they broke alliance over sharing vital interest. militarists go bonkers on alliances if you got shared vital interest.



who else is rival of ottomans? can you ally russia or france or GBcause of being rival to otto?

They had a diplomatic ruler, but he died a good 10 or so years before this incident. He was replaced by a militarist, who had become increasingly interested in my lands (seriously, he went from wanting only the odd province, to wanting most of Arabia, Persia, and the Horn). As I usually do with fickle alliances, I had a diplomat permanently on the Ottomans, so that we'd never dip below 100 from improved relations, but near the end, we were maxing out at 50-60 relations at peace, thanks to insane maluses for "wanting your provinces". And during the war, that was only bumped up to 80, thanks to the modifier "in war together".

And, having dealt with these kinds of alliances on numerous occasions, I had made sure to keep lands they wanted (and weren't already mine) not marked as my vital interest.

I wish I'd have checked if it cost them a point of stability, since they broke the alliance during a war.

And none of the other great powers in Europe will ally me. Russia is pretty weak iirc, France is rivaled to me, GB hates my guts, and Austria is cleft in twain, and relatively weak. Sweden's not doing so hot, Brandenburg MIGHT make for a good ally, but I don't know. And I'm rivaled to Ming, and Hindustan doesn't like me, either. I'll check on Milan.

Oh, and Morocco is most likely going to break our alliance, since they're allied to the Ottomans. Even though we have 100 trust. When it rains, it pours, I guess. Might end up building a super army and just try and wear them down, if it comes down to it. We're so close to restoring the flames, too.

 

[Tom D.]

Ottomans, WTF man?!

I was unaware that the AI would do this during war. I mean, yeah, relations had been slowly breaking down over the years, but this was really out of the blue.

That was unexpected, I do hope they lost 3 stability doing that, cause as a player you would suffer enormous for doing such thing.

Bring on the revolution, comrade!

I think that's the type of revolution we're talking about. Could be wrong, though.

Does triggering the Revolution immediately make you a Republic, or do you transform into a constitutional monarchy first? Just wondering.

 

[firezatswill9]

That was unexpected, I do hope they lost 3 stability doing that, cause as a player you would suffer enormous for doing such thing.


Does triggering the Revolution immediately make you a Republic, or do you transform into a constitutional monarchy first? Just wondering.

No idea if they suffered any loss of stability, really should have checked that. I was too surprised that it happened to have though of that, though.

And if you trigger the revolution disaster, you keep your current government form, until rebels siege down your capital, then you're put into a revolutionary republic.

Only issue is, for that to happen, the capital needs to be in Europe. So I'd need to move my capital to Beja or something to get it going. But the bonuses FAR outweigh the costs.

 

[stnylan]

Sounds like the Ottomans finally figured our your hegemonic plan

 

[firezatswill9]

Chapter 16: Fire Comes First

Where we last left off, Persia had taken center stage as the problem child.

I liked that alliance, Persia, why'd you have to go and wreck it?

Anyways, let's take a look at what the Ottomans are doing.

This is very, very helpful. We can see EXACTLY what the Ottomans have to work with on the battlefield. And in all honesty, it looks like things we could handle, with a few advisers and a couple extra dozen or so men. But, opening a second front now wouldn't be good.

Also, we were able to salvage our alliance with Morocco by rearranging our vital interests. I thought that, at 80+ trust, vital interest territory didn't matter, in terms of alliances being broken. Guess I was wrong. Oh well, still saved that alliance.

We've only got 5% less discipline ATM, and out Morale is only a point lower than theirs, both of which are easy to remedy. And we're already on par, in terms of numbers, and we have a LOT of room to expand our number of fielded troops (we could, theoretically, field around 400k troops if we had the manpower and the money to do so. That's higher than any other nation in the world, including Ming).

Poland crushing the Ottomans is always a welcome sight.

And, seeing how we "have an opening", we ally ourselves with Russia, as well. We don't have the diplo slots available, but like I said before, we have dip tech 23, who cares about dip tech.

We declare an imperialism war against Perm, who is allied to Persia. Getting free reign in Persia is very important to me, especially if we end up having to fight in the Persian mountains when we, inevitably, fight the Ottomans.

We siege up Persia, since that's the only thing we care about in this war. Russia is in a separate war against Perm and Persia, so all I need to do is secure the land I want, Russia'll deal with the Permians.

Y'know what they say, the best defense is a fast offense.

The Ottomans had just finished off Darfur, and decided to take a leisurely stroll through Ajuuraan. Well then, I hope they keep going north, away from us.

We make peace directly with Perm, and we take the rest of Persia proper, leaving them with only some steppes, and a bit of Arabia. We can get that later, should we want it.

Here, we tried our hand at sabotaging the Ottomans. I didn't think it'd do anything, but I had to try, just in case.

The Age of Revolutions is upon us, and we only fulfill 2 of the objectives (we are an empire, and have a large vassal, Galicia), so we're not able to start a golden age just yet.

This made me sad. The second that Cusco reformed into the Inca, they started losing wars that they had won in the past. And this war with France was no exception.

The Ottomans are attempting to partition Lithuania, but Poland's having none of that. This could be big for us, so we're watching this war closely.

And, since we hadn't done anything to them in a while, we reminded Portugal who's in charge around here.

We have the second largest army in the world at the moment, and the Ottomans are running out of manpower. Things are looking good, time to roll.

The Ottomans have allies, and we can't be having any of that, no sir!

Brandenburg wilts under pressure, like a wet noodle.

Oh, Morocco! You know those nasty people down in Mali? Well, I don't like them, you don't like them, what say we do something about that? I'll even split the winnings with you! What? No, I'm not going to start any wars with your ally, don't be silly!

In a single day, the Ottomans have lost any and all who would help them against our attack.

Having had anticipated this, we had our troops on the border in Persia. Africa is thrown to the wayside, since the possibility of getting the mountains (and getting the Ottomans to attack into the mountains) is much more worthwhile than getting Cairo under our control.

One last numbers check shows that the Ottomans have NO manpower. There will NEVER be another chance like this! Death or glory, boys!

Knowing full well that we'll never be able to reach Constantinople, we went for a crusade. That's a goal we can reasonably achieve!

I think this is the first time in a LONG time where we had total numerical superiority over an equivalent foe! Man, that feels nice!

This Polish alliance is really paying dividends, we can see EXACTLY how far away the Ottomans main force is, so long as they're in Poland!

Hey Morocco, how're you doing on the Mali thing? What, you think we're not pulling our weight? No, you've got it wrong, friendo. Benin is our liaison in western Africa, they're the ones who will need to deal with things there, not me. Don't worry, we'll still do lunch on Thursday. How do you feel about middle eastern food, with maybe some Turkish delights for dessert?

Our front line is slowly advancing. We could use points to break the walls, but tech 25 is just around the corner for us, and the Ottomans already have it, so we're not gonna risk a battle without it.

Our first sighting of the enemy, and they're headed towards the land we care about! We take a loan, and raise an 'emergency defense stack' of twenty merc infantry, ready to get them when they least expect it.

RED ALERT, OTTOMANS ARE MOVING TO ENGAGE!

An excellent fire phase! And you know what they say, FIRE COMES FIRST!

This surprised me here, we actually have MORE discipline and tactics than the Ottomans. Thanks, Janissary Decadence! You fired JUST at the right time!

Apparently, Salim was ALSO aware that fire comes first.

But, this is a huge victory for us. While we may have lost more on paper, we're still fine. We have almost 175k manpower waiting to be spent, and most of our infantry are mercenaries. So the only way we'll lose is if they bleed us dry. And we control SO MUCH GOLD, that it's nearly impossible.

Like I said, not even a dent!

Our king decided that he wanted in on the glory, but then realized that he forgot how to fire a gun. I mean, the man is 66, he's probably forgotten his name, let alone how to load and fire a musket.

This stack has been moving back and forth for a while now. It's like a shark that's waiting to strike. Only with more guns.

This is more concerning, since a simple 20 stack of mercenary infantry won't be able to stop it. But it's not a problem, just a concern. We can raise another 60k stack pretty fast, since we don't want to lose this chance to push the front towards Anatolia, while the main force is away.

Y-yeah, this_is_fine.jpg

O... kay then, I guess those two stacks wanted to meet up for brunch in Massab. Uh, sure. OK. Feel free to head back to the Balkans, and enjoy the free 5% attrition on the way!

QUIT TRYING TO HIT ME AND HIT ME, ALREADY!

Finally! And we have our entire army within reinforcement range, so this is going to go SWIMMINGLY for the Ottomans.

I hope they know how to swim in blood.

AIM FOR THEIR SILLY HATS, LADS!

Poor rolls all around, on the house!

Pretty even losses, this time. Too bad we're going full on Russia mode at this point. Drown them in bodies, they'll eventually fall!

They're tenacious, I'll give them that.

Hey, Ottomans, we rolled way better in the first fire phase. And you know what they say about the fire phase, it doesn't come second.

ONE MORE PUSH, SEND THEM DOWN THE RIVER!

DEC-I-MATED.

You think you can get the drop on us? DO YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE?!

Reinforcements are NEVER more than a week or two away. And since we've got tech 25, we're not afraid of using forced march.

Heavy losses on our side. Too bad we've only lost 10k from our manpower pool. That'll take us, like, at LEAST five minutes to replenish!

What's wrong, Ottomans? Not feeling so hot?

They had peaced out with Lithuania and Poland a while back, I didn't see the peace deal, though. But, since it's a 6 year truce, I'm assuming that the Ottomans either conceded defeat, or are giving war reps, since Lithuania was winning that war on paper (~20WS when I last checked).

I have a feeling that the Ottomans are afraid of us now, since advancing quickly towards Anatolia.

They must be REALLY scared, if they'll be willing to eat that much attrition!

Another fight? Sure, I can do this ALL DAY!

Oh, and France likes us, for some reason. Not a clue as to why, though, they were hostile to us at 90 opinion, and they have the same ruler as they did when I last checked (who is a diplomat, btw). Who knows, probably in the same vein as why the Ottomans broke our alliance while in a war together.

Attack into the mountains all you want, we have cannons everywhere! And if you're lost as to what I was going to say next, please refer to the title of this chapter.

SHOCK AND AWE, BOYS!

Holy war was DEFINITELY the right choice.

We finally end up at peace with Mali. We took the forts that bordered our land (including the final gold province), and gave Morocco 3 provinces and some cores were revoked. All in all, Morocco lost two trust in us, bringing them down to 93. Oh no. Whatever will I do.

Divided, and conquered. Even GALICIA is helping here! Go Galicia!

Bye Russia! Don't know why you don't want the alliance, but that's cool! Good luck with the next patch, you're losing your culture conversion abilities!

Our "emergency stack" had been on outlying fort duty, when it was engaged by the Ottomans. This is the only loss we suffer the entire war, which I think speaks loudly.

We had Khivan separatists running amok in our Persian lands for the entire war. So I'd be more than happy if the Ottomans decided that they wanted that land sieged in their name, and not the rebels.

This is the peace deal we decided upon. Unfortunately, due to the Ottomans naval superiority, getting to the Balkans was nigh impossible, so we couldn't get Constantinople, which I REALLY WANT!

Instead, we decided to punch them in the kidneys, and break them into four main areas. That'll keep them nice and split up, should other nations want to take a chunk outta them!

Ugly, but very effective.

And with his work having been done, our king promptly died, and his heir took the throne with his STRONG CLAIM!

No more low legitimacy based rebellions for us!

The thing I love the most about the victory over the Ottomans HAS to be that we punched them so hard, they fell FOUR places down the great power list!

And, it's been about 300 years coming at this point. We FINALLY rekindle the royal fires!

But, really, they couldn't give anything BETTER than +.5 prestige and legitimacy a year? Not even another missionary, or missionary strength, or a really cool title? Man, this was really depressing, after having had so much anticipation for it. I never looked at the modifier for it, I wanted it to surprise me.

And that's where I'll leave it, we've rekindled the flames, AND we're over 2k development, which completes the main goal of this campaign.

That war with the Ottomans has GOT to be the BEST war I've fought in a long, LONG time. I can't remember the last time I felt nervous about every single second of a war, knowing that a single misstep or bunch of bad rolls together would mean the end of my army. It's a really, really refreshing feeling, that after 2k hours of EU4, I can still feel like I did in my first war waaay back when.

And, this is directed at everyone reading this. At this point, I could go on to clean up the borders, eliminate the Iberians, and spread the good Zoroastrian word. But at this point, I've achieved the main goal I had set out to do. And I have a couple other campaign ideas that I want to look into. I'd write an AAR for the campaign that follows this one, since I really do enjoy being a writAAR and have a couple of ideas that are so stupid that they'd be entertaining to write (and hopefully entertaining to read). But, if you want me to push on to the end for Zoroafrica, I could do that as well. Let me know, since this is both for me and for you.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know I did!

 

[stnylan]

Great to see the Ottoman war won. Those borders are an eyesore, but I understand that for now it is all over bar the shouting. It is a perfectly reasonable place to bring this to a rest.

 

[Tom D.]

Death or glory, boys!

More like Death or Dishonor .

after 2k hours of EU4, I can still feel like I did in my first war waaay back when.

Wow, you only played this for 200 hours and you're able to pull this off? Hat off to you, that is amazing. After 1400 hours I still feel like a 'decent' player.

And I have a couple other campaign ideas that I want to look into. I'd write an AAR for the campaign that follows this one, since I really do enjoy being a writAAR and have a couple of ideas that are so stupid that they'd be entertaining to write (and hopefully entertaining to read). But, if you want me to push on to the end for Zoroafrica, I could do that as well. Let me know, since this is both for me and for you.

I think indeed by now it is just cleaning up so starting another campaign is what I would prefer. And I'm very curious to find out what these stupid ideas are .

 

[atwix]

And, seeing how we "have an opening", we ally ourselves with Russia, as well. We don't have the diplo slots available, but like I said before, we have dip tech 23, who cares about dip tech.

but but... threedeckers! african hardwood threedeckers!

Finally! And we have our entire army within reinforcement range, so this is going to go SWIMMINGLY for the Ottomans.

I hope they know how to swim in blood.

LOL.

nice pun.

Oh, and France likes us, for some reason. Not a clue as to why, though, they were hostile to us at 90 opinion, and they have the same ruler as they did when I last checked (who is a diplomat, btw). Who knows, probably in the same vein as why the Ottomans broke our alliance while in a war together.

france rivaled ottomans and you have ottomans as rival right?

if you share rivals and if you attack, the nation that shares same rival usually goes friendly. enemy of enemy is our friend.

especially if you got the guts to go to war, and they don't.

This is the peace deal we decided upon. Unfortunately, due to the Ottomans naval superiority, getting to the Balkans was nigh impossible, so we couldn't get Constantinople, which I REALLY WANT!

Instead, we decided to punch them in the kidneys, and break them into four main areas. That'll keep them nice and split up, should other nations want to take a chunk outta them!

butbut...

you can't take capital in europe this way! no revolutionary zoroafrica?????

oh wait a moment....

ajuuraan at 70% integration huh.

Sommin tellls me I'll get what I want still.

Am I on to something here????

 

[firezatswill9]

More like Death or Dishonor .


Wow, you only played this for 200 hours and you're able to pull this off? Hat off to you, that is amazing. After 1400 hours I still feel like a 'decent' player.


I think indeed by now it is just cleaning up so starting another campaign is what I would prefer. And I'm very curious to find out what these stupid ideas are .

I missed the obvious referential joke! NOOOOOOOO!

And my hour count is 2042 hours in EU4, just a tad more than 200. This campaign was ~40 hours on its own, and I was going fast to try and beat the 3rd Rome patch (which I didn't. Good thing we can go back to previous patches).

And I'll give a hint at the end of this campaign, since I DO want to finish up one or three tiny things. I want to give everyone something to make guesses about while I get accustomed to the current patch (and keep my eye out for an update patch).

 

[firezatswill9]

france rivaled ottomans and you have ottomans as rival right?

if you share rivals and if you attack, the nation that shares same rival usually goes friendly. enemy of enemy is our friend.

especially if you got the guts to go to war, and they don't.



butbut...

you can't take capital in europe this way! no revolutionary zoroafrica?????

oh wait a moment....

ajuuraan at 70% integration huh.

Sommin tellls me I'll get what I want still.

Am I on to something here????

France did rival the Ottomans, so it must have been the fact that I declared war on their rival. That must have pushed them above the threshold to go from "hostile" to "anything but hostile". But, with the way the AI has behaved in this game, I'm not so sure, I think there's an equal chance that Johan and Wiz are in my game and want to screw with me.

And I have no idea what you're talking about. It's not like I'm eyeing up Iberia and that 50 dev. Lisboa or anything, or that I'm taking loans for things...

 

[atwix]

France did rival the Ottomans, so it must have been the fact that I declared war on their rival. That must have pushed them above the threshold to go from "hostile" to "anything but hostile". But, with the way the AI has behaved in this game, I'm not so sure, I think there's an equal chance that Johan and Wiz are in my game and want to screw with me.

And I have no idea what you're talking about. It's not like I'm eyeing up Iberia and that 50 dev. Lisboa or anything, or that I'm taking loans for things...

you can place capital in european province after integrating ajuuraan. if yur capital in africa is in direct line with any european province (straits included), you can move capital there.

go revolutionary republic right after, and enjoy all the crazy military bonuses.

but hey, it's your AAR, i'm just thinking "ONE TAG THE WORLD!!"

don't mind me please.