Ye Olde bAAR: Closed

[Commandante]

"That AAR is so good Eochaid!" Commandante said upon seing Eochaid's AAR of choice. "I do have to say that Languish has done a wonderful job with that Vinland AAR of his, its such a nice and relaxing read. Now give me some glögg and julöl! Have you brought it from Växjö by any chance, Eochaid?" Commandante nudged the Frenchman suggestively. "So what's the thing with LD then? Has he found out that he won't get any presents or something?"

 

[Eochaid]

Eochaid motioned Commandante closer and spoke under his breath:

"- No, he just found out that this year again he'd have to dress up like Santa and go down the chimney... You know, just so the tradition would go on... and also because a lot of people around here don't know that Santa doesn't exist: Sharur, Passeportout...

- Well its sounds like something nice! Why is he so pissed then?

- When is the last time you read a post around here saying "And one of the bAARtenders cleaned the chimney?""

 

[Bismarck]

"After sitting in this BAAR for so long, I can just imagine what it looks like in there.... and all I have to say is EWW!"

Speaking of christmasy theme threads, A Visit from Miss Clio is a joy to read...

M

 

[Secret Master]

The Secret Santa, so was his title during the holidays, courtesy of the Secret Masters (jg.), stepped into the bAAR with little joy. He had a haggard look to him. The kind that signalled that alcohol was in his future. Such a look was common to Secret Masters this time of year. It was probably the change to Christmas uniforms. Who ever had come up with the idea of a Santa outfit for this time of year would be an object of ridicule, if the Secret Master in question could ever be found.

The Secret Santa grumbled as he spoke.

"Give me a Shiner, Norg."

"Sure thing, Secret, errr, Santa?"

Secret Santa stared at his beer for a moment, before undulging the desire to drink.

"Yeah, I know. It's just a seasonal thing, Norg. After the holidays, I go back to being a Secret Master."

"That bad?"

"You have no idea"

Norg was kind enough to fill another pint without being asked.

"You know, Secret, you haven't been in the bAAR for quite some time."

"You can thank Bill Gates for that."

"Technical difficulties?"

"Of a sort."

"Not much for dialog these days, are you Secret?"

"No, it's called stychomithia (sp)."

"What is stychomithia (sp)?"

"It's a type of Grrek dialog in tragedies. Has the same one line cadence we have been having for the past five minutes."

"Oh. "

"At least I get to read some stuff that gets me grinning."

"Eh?"

"Yeah, like this aar here."

"Yeah, that Chris is a riot."

"Yeah, he's not bad for a Canadian."

There was an uncomfortable pause.

"Hey, Secret?"

"Yeah, Norg?"

"It's not a conspiracy that both MrT and LD are Canadians, is it? I mean, MrT became a Mod awefully quickly."

"Nah. Sometimes a coincidence is just a coincidence. If it was a conspiracy, I would know about it. Don't let the belly like jelly fool ya."

"You mean that's not your real belly?"

"Umm, no."

"Ohhhh... right...."

 

[HolisticGod]

HG folded up a note and made a sign at the Secret Santa. Handing it to him, he looked pleadingly at Norg and LD.

There was one Christmas wish, but it was akin to that stupid little girl's in Miracle on 34th Street, which HG had been forced to watch over and over again in the spirit of getting lai... Of the season.

"I don't," said SS (coincidence?), "think I or anyone has the money for this. The real Santa would have to sell the North Pole."

HG lowered his head and stared at his feet. It was his last chance.

"Just so LD doesn't think this is outside the scope of the bar," HG said, glumly, "though I can't imagine how resolving a tab larger than NASA's budget for the whole 'land on the moon and claim it in the name of King Richard' thing would be outside the scope of the bar, I invite all of you to come read my critically ignored In the Age of Dust. The address is in my sig."

He sat back down and pulled out a large sheet of paper, a notebook and three precision point pens.

"Oh, and do take a look at the Vinland and Twas the Night AARS. Great reads, both."

Norg, washing a glass, passed by and looked over HG's shoulder. He did a double take.

"Er, HG, is that a diagram of a bank?"

"Look, you're the one who wants me to pay off my tab..."

 

[unmerged(6607)]

*looks balefully at Secret Santa*

All I want for Christmas is MrT back and updating...

 

[Lord Durham]

LD drags in a X-Mas tree, only to find all his effort has been neglected, much like any of the newcomers treats his writing. He hears the grumbling about the crackdown on the bAAR thread, and sighs. He asks for a beer and waves his hands for silence. "Sorry, but there is a strong element who thinks this thread belongs on OT. I can't say anymore than that. Whatever you may think of me, I believe this thread is important to promote the work of veterans and newcomers to the AAR forum, therefore I want to keep it here. But, you have to adhere to the rules."

He steps down and reaches for another beer, happy in the knowledge that this bAAR is far more active and mature than the HoI bAAR, beyond the few who SPAM for no reason...

 

[J. Passepartout]

"Don't woryy LD, I'm still reading your English AAR. I just haven't made my obligatory 'this was cool' post. And if you don't want that tree I'll have it. Here, have some milk and cookies, and then I'll buy you a Smithwicks."

 

[Eochaid]

Eochaid turns on the giant TV screen Gaijin had bought for the bAAR a few weeks back, and switches to the Discovery channel. The current program is about world history, and an old professor is interviewing a famous writer.

"- Hello Bruce, and thank you for coming here tonight.

- The pleasure is mine. I always watch your history documentaries.

- First for the youger people who don't know you, I'd like to make a quick recap of what you wrote.

Your first novel was a slow paced story taking place during the War of Succession, and written from the point of view of several Austrian people. *Shows the cover of Bestseller Austria and The War of the Spanish Succession: 1700 - 1708*

Shortly after, encouraged by the warm welcome your first attempt at writing had received, you wrote the more personal The Napoleonic Wars: An Account by an English Officer. Do you feel close to the character you created? Is this AAR contains some autobiographical elements?

- Well no, this AAR has nothing of an autobiography, but I think that the hero is an every-day man to whom everybody can feel close to. You see, I don't believe that people are born heroes, but rather that exceptional events create exceptional people.

- Okay, I see. But did the success of these two books help you to join the EU2 AAR Forum Company as an executive member?

- Well not really. I'd been around for a while and they just made an offer I could not resist. Even if moderating is a very tiring business, you'd never guess how tiring, I enjoy what I'm doing. Of course some punks need top be taken care of from time to time, but as a whole , the people over there are very nice.

- So that explains how you started the writers' company responsible for The Free Company.

- Yes. I wanted to create a collaborative writing group that could give an occasion to a lot of good writers to create something real great.

- And the whole tetralogy is a success! The final version of the fourth book will be published any time now. So after mastering the world of writing, you decided to take a shot at directing.

- Indeed. Too few people have access to books, so I decided to use the TV network as a way to enter every home with my mini-series.

- Okay. Now to a more personal level. Word is on the street that you are into cookie dealing and milk smuggling..."

Eochaid quickly turns the TV off

 

[Director]

Director slinks through the door, dodging the merrymakers and beelining for the bar. Thankfully, the carolers have gone back to drinking and George Winston's December is playing on the juke box.

"Eochaid! Thank God it's you! You've got to help me..."

Eochaid grabs his collar as Director attempts to crawl under the counter.

"Now! None of that! What's got into you?"

"It's the faeries! The faeries! They're out to get me!"

Suddenly Director is sitting on the floor and Eochaid is looking down at him with a peculiar expression.

"No! No! REAL ones, about 15cm high, wings.. you know, WINGS! Faeries!"

"Well... that's different, I suppose," the bAARtender said dubiously. "Too much egg nog again? We all know how you get."

"It's awful! She won't let me up from the keyboard! And the way she edits... if she doesn't like it, THINGS happen."

"What sort of... things?"

"THINGS. But while I'm hiding out, turn the TV over to Meiji-Tenno's new story, will you? Ah! The Red Soil of Manchuria. I don't want to miss anything."

Eochaid looks down at the huddled figure and can't think of anything to say but, "At least go sit at a table."

 

[Cat Lord]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Just popping up to wish a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all the fine writers around the bAAR



Cat

 

[unmerged(4271)]

Heagarty lit up a smoke. Maybe this year he'd quit?

The scotch danced over the ice cubes in his glass as he enjoyed a bit of holiday peace.

"So watcha working on?" asked the conveniently arriving bAAR patron.

"What have I always been working on?" Heagarty said with a grin, "Still trying to finish Tales of the Gluttonic Knights ".

"I've seen it listed, but it's too damn long. I tried to read it and couldn't keep up," replied the same anonymous patron.

"Yeah, I know. But as I try to wrap this thing up, (hopefully by the end of January!) I want as many people to read it who can put up with the length. So I've gone back, rewritten the introduction and tried to add some very visible chapter breaks and summaries so someone could pick it up today (metaphorically of course) and either start near the end without being too lost, or could perhaps navigate it a little better without losing their place."

Heagarty took a long swig of his scotch. "I love the readers that I've got, and MrT's guest contributions have made my Christmas. I just want to bring back the folks that started with me that have moved on while the story was delayed a few months back. If for nothing else, they might have a guest appearance in it and not even know it. "

 

[unmerged(6777)]

MrT walks into the bar with a scrapbook in his hands...

"At this time of year I often spend a little time looking back at some old pictures and usually try add a new one. Anyone want to see a snap or two?"

Whether they did or not, he decided to show a couple.

Me in 1964 (I'm the one on the right )

And here's me about 7 years later...(I'm on the left this time )

And last but not least, I just took this one...with a little help from PhotoShop

Woops. I'd be in trouble unless I posted something on topic so...

FYI, my RRR will shortly be making its return to active "publication" for them what's interested. I've added links back into my sig for anyone who wants to download pdf versions of chapter 1 and 2.

Also, please do check out heagarty's Gluttonic Knights if you're in need of a good chuckle. He's been working on this highly entertaining story for a very long time and it really deserves more attention than it's getting.

Lastly, LD is taking a short sabatical so if there's anything you need done, please send me a PM and I'll try to help you out.

T.

 

[J. Passepartout]

"I'd like to say, T, that those downloadable thingies of RRR will be useful in the near future.



















Oh, and I imagined you to look different than that."

 

[J. Passepartout]

J. Passeportout sat at the bar. "Get me a glass of that 1934 Pinot Noir from Lord Durhams vineyards, and some cheddar cheese."

"Sure" said Norgesvenn. "I hadn't known LD had vineyards. Eochaid must have bought it." "Don't worry, LD didn't know either.

I see that Waar of the worlds is finished. It was great. Have you seen Pru? I want to tell him about how he should play as Ukraine for his next AAR."

"I think he's over there." Norge pointed toward the derelict bandstand.

"I wish all the other guys in the band hadn't quit."

 

[unmerged(9046)]

Outside the bAAR there is a loud commotion. Norgesvenn and the others run outside to see what is up. they see Stroph wondering around.

"Damn, I know the bAAr is around here somewhere. I haven't been there in so long, I can't find it! I lost my health, lost my baby, lost my job and now I lose the damn bAAR!"

With a little help from Norge, Stroph is shown the way in. He grabs a large drink and settles in to catch up on what happened while he was away....

 

[unmerged(12495)]

Right this is the place to come to plug your AAR right? Okay so.
"Come one , come all and check out Liberating the Emerald Isle"
Nothing special about it but high post levels boost my ego.
Contains no dialogue or characters. Grammar and spelling optional.

 

[unmerged(6777)]

Originally posted by J. Passeportout
We plug our AARs in the bAAR. This is for discussing how to write them.

Woohoo! It worked! That's the first time I've tried to do that. Now I know why LD doesn't like splitting and moving threads around. For a moment there I had the sinking feeling that I'd just accidentally deleted the SolAARium.

Anyway, this is where you want to place those adverts Newbreed...and welcome to AARland.

 

[unmerged(6607)]

*staggers, almost spilling drink*

I had a feeling... like a hundred bAARtenders crying out in pain, then silence...

I can only conclude that in some other universe, the bAAR has been accidentally destroyed by a passing Vogon spaceship.

Horrid idea. More drinks!

 

[unmerged(4271)]

Heagarty burst into the bar overcoming his aversion to referring to himself in the third person.

"Help! Someone call a support guru!" he yelled out of breath. He took only a brief pause for a shot of Jack before continuing. "Arilou has written a hysterical first AAR, The Legacy of the White Sheep , but has somehow lost his ability to read his save-game files!"

Heagarty took another shot of Jack Daniels. Great service they've got here in the bAAr.

"If someone can help, please don't let this AAR die....or if you're all fatalists, let it die, but make sure you check out the corpse, it really is a funny story."

He dropped some bills on the counter (the good kind, not the kind you have to pay), sadly looked at the Missing AAR Poster featuring Mimir's Manchu Manchu Man and went to go poke the White Sheep AAR with a stick to see if it would revive.