C444Lockhart received a letter in the mail from his close friend, the Skinny Guy. He chuckled to himself, when he saw that even the return address was labelled as "The Skinny Guy ; 1132 Earwicker Ln ; Asheville, NC 40777" What had once been a nickname had stuck, and the guy probably didn't even remember his real name. The address seemed suspect, as well. When he opened the letter, he learned that he was invited to his a conference of some sort. Hopefully this wasn't going to be another one of those internet marketing seminars. Seems like every week he got another letter for one of those. However, this was from his friend, so he had to go.
After carefully picking through his wardrobe for something nice to wear, Lockhart gave up, and decided to just wear his worn-out pants from the army surplus, his Guinness t-shirt, and an unbuttoned shirt over it. Looking back over the letter he saw that it had something to do with the AAR group on the Paradox forums.
"Oh God," he thought. "Too many off topic posts, I bet, and I'm going to get roasted."
He kissed his pregnant girlfriend goodbye and told her where he was going. She smiled and told him to have a good time. She was very wonderful to him. Particularly in the patience and acceptance she showed over his obsession with EU2. The two of them had recently published a literary magazine, GlitterRag. The first issue was doing fairly well, and they hoped to be able to do it every three months. He knew that she wanted to come along, but it seemed that he only had one ticket, and they couldn't afford to buy one.
When he arrived, he was greeted by The Skinny Guy and the Bearded Fellow.
"Hey Guys," he waved to them. "Where's the Astrologer."
"Well." The Skinny Guy started. "Since he's a character you just created on the fly based on a random event... well..."
The Bearded Fellow shook his head. "He wasn't invited."
Chris Lockhart (yes, that's my first name.. and no, I was not a betatester for EU2.. though my name is in the manual) gasped.
The Skinny Guy added. "He's shifty."
Chris nodded.. Shifty indeed.
Inside, the three of them were led to a table at the front, near the stage. There was a podium on the stage. No doubt, Chris thought, from where they would throw an axe at my head.
To his surprise, when Valdemar took the stage, he announced that Chris Lockhart would be the Writer of the Week.
"Wow!" Chris stated. (oh my.. wow.. isn't that a funny pun?!)
"And." Valdemar said. "Now, two of his characters would like to say a few words."
The Skinny Guy and the Bearded Fellow got up and walked up the stairs to the stage. Both of them got behind the podium. There was enough room behind the podium for two people. And since the Bearded Fellow had the width of 1.5 people, and the Skinny Guy had the width of 1/2 a person.. they fit perfectly.
The Skinny Guy began. "We are here today, for some strange inexplicable reason, to honour C444Lockhart, as you know him. He has been writing an AAR.. plodding, as Valdemar once described it, on these forums for quite some time. About 107 days to be exact. You may find it interesting to know that he has covered 107 years in that time. At this rate, he should be done a long long time from now."
"But, he's picking up pace to try to get it done before his first son is born at the beginning of September," The Bearded Guy interrupted.
After staring the Bearded Guy down with a sharp look, the Skinny Guy continued. "Chris was born in 1977, which means his age is probably about average around here. He has been writing fiction and nonfiction since he could tap on a typewriter. His father started him off on computers when he was only 5 years old, playing space invaders on a TRS-80. He later took to writing text adventure games in basic on the Commodore 64. In high school, Chris developed an unhealthy interest in James Joyce, and spent a tremendous amount of time reading and studying Finnegans Wake. At DU-MOO, he was involved in online discussions on Finnegans Wake. Throughout the web, you can find evidence of his pretentiousness, as he points out references, allusions, and so on and so forth to James Joyce in Woody Allen movies, the Firesign Theater, and the movie "After Hours". He continued with his research into.."
Coughing, the Bearded Fellow interrupted again. "It is obvious that you are a character created by him.. look at how you go on and on with all this detail.. You've gotta just gloss over it. These people don't want a full and complete life story. Going on and on about his obsession with Finnegans Wake.. move on.. move on!"
The Skinny Guy chuckled. "Well, you're modelled after his girlfriend's cat, so I wouldn't get too hung up on yourself. Anyway.. Okay.. He bought Civ II not long after he started living on his own. This game took up a lot of his time, as he found that he enjoyed it, and got caught up in that 'just one more turn' aspect of the game that keeps you up all hours of the night. He tried Age of Empires, but didn't care for it too much.. though he later came back to it. When Civ III came out, he was already anticipating its release. This game now became his true love, and he once again started staying up late, trying to get that one more turn. Then came Europa Universalis II into his life."
"I want to tell all of you, that he still likes Civ III. Just the other night, he said that of all the games he and his girlfriend own, it is probably the best all around game." The Bearded Guy blurted out.
"But.." The Skinny Guy added. "He said that was only because he didn't feel Europa Universalis II was for everybody. He said that EU2 was the best game they owned, but not everybody would like it. He felt that Civ III was a bit more accessible to the general populace."
"What are you saying?"
Lockhart stood up. "To clarify, I love EU2, and it is my first choice. Paradox is without a doubt the best group of people in the gaming industry. They care about their customers, and interact with them on the same level. EU2 is without a doubt the best game I own. Civ III is the best all around, due to the fact that it is more accessible. " Then he sat back down, as he was talking out of turn.
The Skinny Guy sighed. "Okay.. now that it's my turn again. Chris and his girlfriend, Lyric, are starting up a publishing company called GlitterChildren.. and they produce a literary and arts magazine through GlitterChildren. Chris also plans on releasing a solo album this summer, if he can get all the songs recorded. Before I talk your ears off." He glared at the Bearded Fellow and continued. "Let Chris gives his acceptance speech."
Chris 444 Lockhart took to the stage. "Well, I want to thank Valdemar for this recognition. I'm glad that you guys are reading my AAR, it truly makes it worth writing. I enjoy reading what I can of your work as well. If I've made a comment to your AAR, I'm reading it. If I haven't.. well, I probably haven't gotten around to it yet, sorry. I would love to read everything here, but I simply haven't the time. Anyway. I don't know what else to say, except thank you. Here's to Paradox, the greatest group in the game industry, here's the everybody on the forums, especially the AAR group, here's to everybody responsible for EEP, which I play. And.. um... That's it. Get back to writing your own stuff.. Oh.. Before I forget, I want to thank Kurek, who has been good to me since we both started at about the same time. We helped each other, at least I like to think so, at those early days. Um.. Oh.. and also.. Let's hope Victoria lends itself equally well to AARs.. If I have time, with the newborn son and all.. I will try to pick up a copy of Victoria!!!"
Stepping back down, C444Lockhart returned to his table.
