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Just read through this in one go. WC as Gotland? :wacko:
Well, thats what makes it funny, along with your style of writing. I like the humorous tone, KUTGW!
Well, thats what makes it funny, along with your style of writing. I like the humorous tone, KUTGW!
I suppose an apology is necessary!
Back at the start of March I started writing a mystery story for English in my spare time, and was having such fun that this got put on the back-burner. I finished it in two weeks flat, but then suddenly ideas started coming and this turned into a series ! Well, over 5 weeks (though I took a week off) I now have 21,500 words comprising one-and-a-half mystery stories, and I'm having a total blast. I think I'm going to have to put this on hold until summer break (=June) when hopefully with school out I will be writing things full-time (unless the father figure forces me to get a job).
So Yoy21...Gotland is not dead...it's just cryogenically frozen
Sorry fellas - will see ya soon then.
Maybe this time next year you'll be looking at my little pet project on a bookshelf somewhere...let us hope!
Back at the start of March I started writing a mystery story for English in my spare time, and was having such fun that this got put on the back-burner. I finished it in two weeks flat, but then suddenly ideas started coming and this turned into a series
! Well, over 5 weeks (though I took a week off) I now have 21,500 words comprising one-and-a-half mystery stories, and I'm having a total blast. I think I'm going to have to put this on hold until summer break (=June) when hopefully with school out I will be writing things full-time (unless the father figure forces me to get a job).So Yoy21...Gotland is not dead...it's just cryogenically frozen
Sorry fellas - will see ya soon then.
Maybe this time next year you'll be looking at my little pet project on a bookshelf somewhere...let us hope!
Boy, you've got summer vacation in a very short time....surely you can squeeze in a little time during it to devote to updating this little gem...Surely you do. Hajji? Hello? <knocks on Hajji's monitor from the inside> I know you are out there. I can SEE you!
I concurAmric said:Boy, you've got summer vacation in a very short time....surely you can squeeze in a little time during it to devote to updating this little gem...Surely you do. Hajji? Hello? <knocks on Hajji's monitor from the inside> I know you are out there. I can SEE you!
I had forgotten how fun this was!Have played until 1429 ~ updates soon? I guess I should get this out of the way before I get too far into my new writing project...
Logbook, October 1425 - May 1426
Feb 11 1426 - Peace with Poland. Wielkopolska, Mazovia, Poznan to Gotland
Mar 2 - Peace with Bohemia. Sudeten, Silesia, Erz, Anhalt to Gotland.
"Not too bad winnings," Hajji decided as he chomped down a sausage. "I hope we don't plan on being at peace with them for too long."
"No, sir."
"Peace is for girls."
"Sir, I am a girl."
"Oh...sorry...I thought you were Ginger."
"I am Ginger."
This was a rather confusing remark, as previously Fred had been female and Ginger male. Hajji looked over the top of his surprisingly well-constructed mound of Swedish barbeque.
Barbeque sauce spattered from Hajji's lips. "OH MY GOD!" he yelled. "IT'S GINGER SPICE!! Minion!"
"Yessir," a minion said as he walked into the hall.
"Get me as far away from here as possible. Can we do something - in the Americas or something?"
"Sure, sir, we have armies waiting to land in Mexico."
"Good, declare war on the Maya and make sure Ms. Halliwell is not allowed to leave this city. Play jailer if you want."
"Yes sir," the minion said with newfound enthusiasm.
"Now, now, minion, it's best you pretend to control yourself."
Mar 2 - War with Maya
Mar 2 - War with Zapotec
Mar 4 - Peace with Golden Horde. Azov, Crimea, Kouban, Bogutjar, Ufa to Gotland
Mar 11 - Lenape annexed
"It's good to be here in Mexico," Hajji noted, "away from the clogged atmosphere of Gotland island with its aphrodisiac pies and bizarre time-traveling pop singers. My old strategic genius is starting to come back."
"Sir, the war plans," a minion announced, presenting a map to Hajji.
Meanwhile, back in Europe...
April 14 - Peace with Bavaria. Ansbach to Gotland
April 14 - War with Wurzburg, Wurttemberg, Helvetia, and Hessen
June 3 - Peace with Lithuania.
"Whoa whoa whoa." Hajji was trembling with anger. "You mean we're still at peace with Poland and Lithuania?"
"Yes sir, our armies were busy subduing Bavaria, Wurzburg, and the other little nations in Germany."
"I don't want Lithuania and Poland to exist in six months, understand?"
"Understand."
"Capisce?"
"I'm sorry, sir, I don't speak Sicilian."
"It means if you don't conquer them in six months I will cut your body up into pieces, fit the parts into a suitcase, and throw you into Hudson Bay."
"Sir, I'll talk to the cavalry commander, sir."
"Who's the cavalry commander?"
"Well at least you found a use for her."
"Yes sir."
"I'm not entirely sure that we're at that technology level, yet, though."
"Oh, sir, that's a new vehicle called a ... well we aren't sure what to call it."
"I'm sure I'll think of a clever pun in a later update, but for now I'll just let this update on a disappointing note."
"Actually, sir, nobody thinks your puns are funny anyways."
Grand Panorama - June 1426
-------------------------------------------------
Out of Character Notes
I have a summer job, so updates on weekdays will be highly unlikely. Expect stuff on weekends. I have played until 1429 (? - I think) and have not conquered the entire world yet. Hope you enjoy this AAR's return to the living!
A note to more serious writers out there who might be - reasonably - expecting me to write something serious after this. Yes, that is the trend (after I wrote the first After Action Report to include the phrase "to crap one's pants" I followed up with The Hussite Lament) but much of my spare time now is devoted to writing serious projects outside of the AAR forum, so it may be a considerable amount of time before I start another tale (which hopefully will be a marked improvement on anything in the past, though). Till then we'll have to live with the Spice Girls riding level 60-land tech slutmobiles into Lithuania.
Oh and Happy Birthday Yoy21!!
Feb 11 1426 - Peace with Poland. Wielkopolska, Mazovia, Poznan to Gotland
Mar 2 - Peace with Bohemia. Sudeten, Silesia, Erz, Anhalt to Gotland.
"Not too bad winnings," Hajji decided as he chomped down a sausage. "I hope we don't plan on being at peace with them for too long."
"No, sir."
"Peace is for girls."
"Sir, I am a girl."
"Oh...sorry...I thought you were Ginger."
"I am Ginger."
This was a rather confusing remark, as previously Fred had been female and Ginger male. Hajji looked over the top of his surprisingly well-constructed mound of Swedish barbeque.
Barbeque sauce spattered from Hajji's lips. "OH MY GOD!" he yelled. "IT'S GINGER SPICE!! Minion!"
"Yessir," a minion said as he walked into the hall.
"Get me as far away from here as possible. Can we do something - in the Americas or something?"
"Sure, sir, we have armies waiting to land in Mexico."
"Good, declare war on the Maya and make sure Ms. Halliwell is not allowed to leave this city. Play jailer if you want."
"Yes sir," the minion said with newfound enthusiasm.
"Now, now, minion, it's best you pretend to control yourself."
Mar 2 - War with Maya
Mar 2 - War with Zapotec
Mar 4 - Peace with Golden Horde. Azov, Crimea, Kouban, Bogutjar, Ufa to Gotland
Mar 11 - Lenape annexed
"It's good to be here in Mexico," Hajji noted, "away from the clogged atmosphere of Gotland island with its aphrodisiac pies and bizarre time-traveling pop singers. My old strategic genius is starting to come back."
"Sir, the war plans," a minion announced, presenting a map to Hajji.
Meanwhile, back in Europe...
April 14 - Peace with Bavaria. Ansbach to Gotland
April 14 - War with Wurzburg, Wurttemberg, Helvetia, and Hessen
June 3 - Peace with Lithuania.
"Whoa whoa whoa." Hajji was trembling with anger. "You mean we're still at peace with Poland and Lithuania?"
"Yes sir, our armies were busy subduing Bavaria, Wurzburg, and the other little nations in Germany."
"I don't want Lithuania and Poland to exist in six months, understand?"
"Understand."
"Capisce?"
"I'm sorry, sir, I don't speak Sicilian."
"It means if you don't conquer them in six months I will cut your body up into pieces, fit the parts into a suitcase, and throw you into Hudson Bay."
"Sir, I'll talk to the cavalry commander, sir."
"Who's the cavalry commander?"
"Well at least you found a use for her."
"Yes sir."
"I'm not entirely sure that we're at that technology level, yet, though."
"Oh, sir, that's a new vehicle called a ... well we aren't sure what to call it."
"I'm sure I'll think of a clever pun in a later update, but for now I'll just let this update on a disappointing note."
"Actually, sir, nobody thinks your puns are funny anyways."
Grand Panorama - June 1426
-------------------------------------------------
Out of Character Notes
I have a summer job, so updates on weekdays will be highly unlikely. Expect stuff on weekends. I have played until 1429 (? - I think) and have not conquered the entire world yet. Hope you enjoy this AAR's return to the living!
A note to more serious writers out there who might be - reasonably - expecting me to write something serious after this. Yes, that is the trend (after I wrote the first After Action Report to include the phrase "to crap one's pants" I followed up with The Hussite Lament) but much of my spare time now is devoted to writing serious projects outside of the AAR forum, so it may be a considerable amount of time before I start another tale (which hopefully will be a marked improvement on anything in the past, though). Till then we'll have to live with the Spice Girls riding level 60-land tech slutmobiles into Lithuania.
Oh and Happy Birthday Yoy21!!
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Added screenies to the last update, now I will play about six more months into the game before the weekend's update (which actually may come Monday since I plan on spending most of the weekend goofing off with my friends).
Logbook, June - October 1426
Jun 16 - Wurttemburg, Hessen annexed
July 12 - Shawnee annexed
Aug 30 - Wurzburg annexed
Nov 6 - Peace with Eire. Connaught, Leinster, Munster, 56 ducats to Gotland.
Nov 20 - Maya annexed
Hajji was quietly surprised when the red telephone on his desk began buzzing on the first day of December.
"For some reason I don't have any qualms about cheating on technology levels," he noted as he picked up the cordless receiver. "Yo yo you, who dere my G?"
Stunned silence.
"Okay, I promise I will never do that again."
"Hajji, this is General Halliwell calling from Prague."
"General Spice! How goes the war effort?"
"Sir, we've received a peace offer. They offer us the province of Moravia and a small amount of money."
"That's it?"
"Sir, their only other province is their capital."
"Oh. Okay. Take it."
"Good. Thanks. Now what?"
"Declare war on them, silly."
"Yessir. Oh - what? Wait - uh - sorry - I - it seems that included Poland."
"The peace deal?"
"Yes, we're at peace with Poland."
"You fool! Why didn't you tell me? What are you, some kind of idiot?"
"I'm a pop star."
"Declare war on Poland too."
Dec 1 - Peace with Bohemia. Moravia to Gotland
Dec 1 - War with Bohemia, Poland
------------------------
....sorry, didn't have much time today, maybe more later...?
Jun 16 - Wurttemburg, Hessen annexed
July 12 - Shawnee annexed
Aug 30 - Wurzburg annexed
Nov 6 - Peace with Eire. Connaught, Leinster, Munster, 56 ducats to Gotland.
Nov 20 - Maya annexed
Hajji was quietly surprised when the red telephone on his desk began buzzing on the first day of December.
"For some reason I don't have any qualms about cheating on technology levels," he noted as he picked up the cordless receiver. "Yo yo you, who dere my G?"
Stunned silence.
"Okay, I promise I will never do that again."
"Hajji, this is General Halliwell calling from Prague."
"General Spice! How goes the war effort?"
"Sir, we've received a peace offer. They offer us the province of Moravia and a small amount of money."
"That's it?"
"Sir, their only other province is their capital."
"Oh. Okay. Take it."
"Good. Thanks. Now what?"
"Declare war on them, silly."
"Yessir. Oh - what? Wait - uh - sorry - I - it seems that included Poland."
"The peace deal?"
"Yes, we're at peace with Poland."
"You fool! Why didn't you tell me? What are you, some kind of idiot?"
"I'm a pop star."
"Declare war on Poland too."
Dec 1 - Peace with Bohemia. Moravia to Gotland
Dec 1 - War with Bohemia, Poland
------------------------
....sorry, didn't have much time today, maybe more later...?
Logbook, December 1426 - February 1427
Dec 13 - Iroqouis annexed
Jan 12, 1427 - War declared on Baden
Jan 22 - Bohemia, Zapotec annexed
Feb 16 - Aztecs annexed
Feb 25 - Peace with Helvetia - Schwyz to Gotland
"Wait a second!" Hajji hurriedly wiped some of the chicken grease from his mouth, and rubbed it on his pants. "I didn't know we were at war with Helvetia!"
"It's true, sir," said male Ginger. "Well, we aren't any more."
"I guess not." Hajji reached for another drumstick.
"Uh ... my Lord Marquis ... there is some interesting news from Mexico, sir, from our Western Hemisphere Field Marshal."
"Remind me now," Hajji said through the fried chicken skins he was peeling off with his teeth, "who is that?"
"Justin Timberlake, sir."
". . . I am not sure what to say to that one. I've heard of non-sequiturs, but..."
"In any case, you'd better take a look at this satellite photo:"
Well, whaddya know!
Meanwhile, off the Coast of Mexico...
"I appreciate your assistance, Captain Sparrow. You've taken on some pretty bizarre foes in your time, but this one is the bizarrest. His name: Hajji Giray I. His game: world conquest. Your task, Captain Sparrow, is to stop him by any means necessary."
"I only have three ships, Grand Master. You know that."
"Yes, but you have Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, and anyone could stop this moron with those two on his side. Besides, I have already infiltrated his system in other places."
"Thank you for your trust, Grand Master. When will I be paid?"
"Cash on delivery. You know what that means."
"I'll do my best. Over and out." With that Captain Jack Sparrow snapped off his walkie-talkie and looked pensively out over the ocean...
To be continued!
Dec 13 - Iroqouis annexed
Jan 12, 1427 - War declared on Baden
Jan 22 - Bohemia, Zapotec annexed
Feb 16 - Aztecs annexed
Feb 25 - Peace with Helvetia - Schwyz to Gotland
"Wait a second!" Hajji hurriedly wiped some of the chicken grease from his mouth, and rubbed it on his pants. "I didn't know we were at war with Helvetia!"
"It's true, sir," said male Ginger. "Well, we aren't any more."
"I guess not." Hajji reached for another drumstick.
"Uh ... my Lord Marquis ... there is some interesting news from Mexico, sir, from our Western Hemisphere Field Marshal."
"Remind me now," Hajji said through the fried chicken skins he was peeling off with his teeth, "who is that?"
"Justin Timberlake, sir."
". . . I am not sure what to say to that one. I've heard of non-sequiturs, but..."
"In any case, you'd better take a look at this satellite photo:"
Well, whaddya know!
Meanwhile, off the Coast of Mexico...
"I appreciate your assistance, Captain Sparrow. You've taken on some pretty bizarre foes in your time, but this one is the bizarrest. His name: Hajji Giray I. His game: world conquest. Your task, Captain Sparrow, is to stop him by any means necessary."
"I only have three ships, Grand Master. You know that."
"Yes, but you have Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, and anyone could stop this moron with those two on his side. Besides, I have already infiltrated his system in other places."
"Thank you for your trust, Grand Master. When will I be paid?"
"Cash on delivery. You know what that means."
"I'll do my best. Over and out." With that Captain Jack Sparrow snapped off his walkie-talkie and looked pensively out over the ocean...
To be continued!