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I read somewhere that it’s development after autonomy that is counted for dynasty changes, so if you have a lot of high autonomy provinces they’ll beat you.
Spreading your dynasty has to do with effective development, not development. It is development factored by local autonomy, a stat which is hidden but very important.
Edit: This has nothing to do with prestige, don't comment if you don't know. @atwix made all of that clear enough.
Go to the institutions screen and check your development after autonomy. If Castile has higher development after autonomy that is why they are getting a heir on the throne and not you. Prestige plays nothing in landing an heir on a throne or not.