Why is my son going to other courts?

[emperor12]

So I am playing as the empire of scandinavia and my heir keeps on leaving to go to other courts. He does this every time I try to marry him to the heir of the fatimids. The fatimids became catholic and the king has one child so I thought I would be able to marry my heir to the fatmids heir. I would have control over the kingdoms of Syria, Egypt, Arabia, and most of the byzantine empire. The fatimids accept the marriage but as soon as they accept it my heir leaves my court.

I got him back in my court tried the marriage again now he left for another court again

 

[unmerged(364953)]

One question, do your son's have land titles, and do the females they are marrying have land titles when they get married. If the female does have a land title and the male doesn't the male will move to the females place.

 

[NewbieOne]

So I am playing as the empire of scandinavia and my heir keeps on leaving to go to other courts. He does this every time I try to marry him to the heir of the fatimids. The fatimids became catholic and the king has one child so I thought I would be able to marry my heir to the fatmids heir. I would have control over the kingdoms of Syria, Egypt, Arabia, and most of the byzantine empire. The fatimids accept the marriage but as soon as they accept it my heir leaves my court.

I think it's possible that somebody invited your heir's wife and she accepted and then he went along with her. I sometimes invite the wives of my intended councillors when they themselves won't budge. It's enough that she's a claimant to some time, has a low opinion of you and high of someone else.

Otherwise your heir may've been invited by someone. Claimants are easier to invite than other people. Putting him on the council and/or giving him an honorary title could help keep him, other than this, you can give him a barony or so.

 

[unmerged(222122)]

If you want to keep him in your realm then give your son some land, save and quit. Load up as him and arrange the marriage. You can either continue playing as him or load back up as the emperor.

 

[Aardvark Bellay]

So I am playing as the empire of scandinavia and my heir keeps on leaving to go to other courts. He does this every time I try to marry him to the heir of the fatimids. The fatimids became catholic and the king has one child so I thought I would be able to marry my heir to the fatmids heir. I would have control over the kingdoms of Syria, Egypt, Arabia, and most of the byzantine empire. The fatimids accept the marriage but as soon as they accept it my heir leaves my court.

You probably marry them away matrilinear. Then they go for the court the wife stays.....and they will not have sons of your dynasty. Oops.

 

[Kaiser Ludwig]

This is specially common of your father died when he was old as heck, and your children are also claimants to your own titles, they'll leave your realm supposedly to get someone to push their claims, the ingrates.

 

[icon41gimp]

If your heir will inherit a claim from his mother, killing her will sometimes allow you to invite him back since he'll reason that you can at least press that claim for him. It honestly sounds like you arranged a betrothal though and the AI snookered you by sending a matrilineal proposal when both are of age.

 

[emperor12]

neither of them have titles

 

[emperor12]

When the Fatimids said they accepted the marriage my son would leave for another court and the marriage never happened

 

[Talq]

As he said, it tends to happen if the son was alive during the the reign of the previous king, making him a pretender to the current king. He gets invited to the court of any witless count with pretentions of grandeur within a few days of majority, and then gets married to a lowborn, matrilineally married or becomes a heir to a bishopric.

Giving him land will at least stop the more catastrophically idiotic choices, but theres no real way of making a marriage stick.

While in history, impatient heirs were a headache for more than one king, CK2 does take it to extremes (and more in the 'watch as the heir to the most powerful kingdom on earth acts like a member of the minor nobility for x years' than the 'poorly considered intrigue to get on the throne' way)

Edit: why are so many people in this thread assuming the heir is married, when hes specifically saying hes trying to arrange one? Since when was bigamy a thing in (the Christian parts of) CK2?

 

[Zireael]

Why don't you load as your son after the marriage arrangement goes through? That way you could check if the marriage offer was accepted. I've seen males move to their wives' courts, mostly when the wife was landed and/or of higher position.

 

[Malibu Stacey]

When the Fatimids said they accepted the marriage my son would leave for another court and the marriage never happened

If he left before they accept I think the game won't marry them since he's no longer in your court & the marriage arrangement is between you as his liege and the ruler of the Fatimids not him and the daughter of the Fatimid ruler.

He's probably being invited by other rulers & because he likes them more than you he's leaving for their court. What's his opinion of you before he goes & does he have any claims (screenshots work better than words).

 

[nyah]

Does it happen if you don't try to marry him to somebody? Is it always the same court?

 

[Ahaz Flagg]

Several reasons I have noticed, most oft reason, Your heirs wife is now in line for thorne, your heirs wife is a regent. I do know this, every time your heir moves you get a notice that explains the exact reason he left.

 

[emperor12]

when i try to marry him to anyone it happens and when he goes to other courts he is put into a matrilineal marriage so i would have to kill him, and he goes to different courts each time I try to get him to marry someone

 

[Ahaz Flagg]

when i try to marry him to anyone it happens and when he goes to other courts he is put into a matrilineal marriage so i would have to kill him, and he goes to different courts each time I try to get him to marry someone

You need to look at who you are marrying your family to, but pay special attention to your top 3!! The top 3 of every generation need to be with you at all times. The most oft reason your heirs leave, is because you tried to get land via marriage. IMHO, while it is cool to take land, you put your game at risk, because you will have many people now who want to kill your heir!! The bottom line is, if you want to control your heirs, keep them home at all times!! I will admit, I find the marry for land via heirs cheeze and to easy. So I refuse to use it, yes I know it is true in history, but cheeze is cheeze to me. I have found after playing Denmark, that elective is insane and might be a tad OP!! My last 2 rulers are MT, and my next one should be also, do to the fact they are being trained by current ruler.

How to keep your heirs secure? 1. Marry no one with any claims at all, it is marrying down yes, but your heir will stay put. 2. Top 2 claiments, also keep home, the same way!! Use your daughters for Allainces or a better Council member, marry the extra sons for land. While you will not control the land, you do get the extra prestige. Do not discount this extra prestige, it allows you better marriages, and this is the best thing about imho, when you get a good bunch of family prestige, you can raid pretty much any concil member in the game, which means your council is awesome, but the best part is your army, you will have the best generals in the game.

Also keeping the top 3 in house allows you to breeed well so you can have MT people traing your kids.

Also, every dynstay member who rules another land, is your ally for life!!

 

[Panzerschiffe]

Several reasons I have noticed, most oft reason, Your heirs wife is now in line for thorne, your heirs wife is a regent. I do know this, every time your heir moves you get a notice that explains the exact reason he left.

Really? Where can I see the reason? I only ever get that message that says so and so left my court without any kind of explanation.

 

[Ahaz Flagg]

Really? Where can I see the reason? I only ever get that message that says so and so left my court without any kind of explanation.

Really? Because it always tells me, it will say things like, Thorvold went to so and so county and why. IE His wife became regant, or to press claims. Once I had a sucession crisis, I made it a point to watch all messages and why people left. It should pop up and pause game when your heir leaves though, for other family members it just pops into important message box. You might need to reset your message boxes, but you should always know where your heir is, the game does pretty good for me on that, now that I read every message.

 

[richvh]

when i try to marry him to anyone it happens and when he goes to other courts he is put into a matrilineal marriage so i would have to kill him, and he goes to different courts each time I try to get him to marry someone

This sounds like you set up a betrothal, and when they both were of age you accepted the other court's counter-proposal. The AI will always try to make the marriage advantageous to them.

 

[emperor12]

there was no betrothal I wait for my children to be adults before i start to marrry them to people