Why do my children switch courts?

[mangowallaby]

Hi,

I am currently in run playing as the monarchs of Frisia. Multiple times, I have pressed the claim (on Duchy or Kingdom) of my spouse. Each time, if my character is a king, I am in a non-matrilineal marriage, and if I am a queen I am in a matrilineal marriage. Regardless, each time, any under-16 children who are in my court transfer to the court of my spouse. This is not what I think is supposed to happen, and is not what has happened in numerous runs. Unfortunately, this then means I have no control over who my children (including my heir) marry and little control over their education (I am still able to educate them myself). Does anyone know why this is happening?

The screenshots below show an instance of this happening which just happened, as I (king of Frisia) pressed claim of wife on kingdom of Sardinia-Corsica. I won, she became queen of said realm, and my 4 children (ages 12, 8, 3, 0) switched from living in my court in Holland to my wife's court in Sardinia.

 

[Vetgirig]

I think the child will be in the educators court.

So if your spouse is your childrens educator, they will stay in her court.

 

[mangowallaby]

I think the child will be in the educators court.

So if your spouse is your childrens educator, they will stay in her court.

No, that's not what's happening. In the instance shown in the above screenshots, none of the children were being educated by my spouse. One of them (the 12 year old) was being educated by me and was still transferred to control/court of my wife, the now-queen of Sardinia.

 

[Andrew0Red]

Hmm, if someone gains a title (new main title), we want them and their family to move to that new court, right? We don't want a family split between two courts... If you had pressed a claim for one of your courtiers (we don't, but if you had), it would make sense to move their children there too.

But in this case, a family is now split between two courts, because the spouse of the title-gainer has to remain behind... So it's a case of not preventing the rare case where title-gainer is married to a titled character.

 

[mangowallaby]

Hmm, if someone gains a title (new main title), we want them and their family to move to that new court, right? We don't want a family split between two courts... If you had pressed a claim for one of your courtiers (we don't, but if you had), it would make sense to move their children there too.

But in this case, a family is now split between two courts, because the spouse of the title-gainer has to remain behind... So it's a case of not preventing the rare case where title-gainer is married to a titled character.

Got it. That makes sense, I don't know why I had never noticed that in my many years of playing CK2. Thanks!

 

[mangowallaby]

New complication: So, before I pressed my wife's claim, I had "restricted marriage" for 3 of my children. Now, those 3 are at my wife's court but the "restricted marriage" box is still checked and I can't uncheck it. Even, when I send a marriage offer myself to my wife to marry one of my daughters to someone in my court, it rejects it because her marriage is "controlled by another player"...

Is this supposed to happen? My guess is no. I feel like I should be able to uncheck that box.

 

[Whizzer]

Looks like a genuine oversight. I hope this is not an Ironman mode save game.

 

[mangowallaby]

Looks like a genuine oversight. I hope this is not an Ironman mode save game.

Lol it is. The reason I was being Frisia was to get the "Good Old Days" acheivement

 

[jonjowett]

A few possible ironman-mode workarounds:

• Invite your children to your court after they become adults
  • Excommunicating their mother might make this easier, but the Pope might be hard to persuade.
  • If you successfully seduce your daughters, they will have the "lover" opinion towards you, and they will always join your court (if they're allowed to leave)
• Kill your wife
  • Children have something like +50 opinion of their mother, but not of their siblings (indeed, often it's the exact opposite, due to claims)
• Kill your wife and then yourself
  • Then, all of your siblings will be in your court and you can do whatever you want.

 

[mangowallaby]

A few possible ironman-mode workarounds:

• Invite your children to your court after they become adults
  • Excommunicating their mother might make this easier, but the Pope might be hard to persuade.
  • If you successfully seduce your daughters, they will have the "lover" opinion towards you, and they will always join your court (if they're allowed to leave)
• Kill your wife
  • Children have something like +50 opinion of their mother, but not of their siblings (indeed, often it's the exact opposite, due to claims)
• Kill your wife and then yourself
  • Then, all of your siblings will be in your court and you can do whatever you want.

I am not able to kill my wife because she is my lover. Unlike if a character has a non-spouse as a lover, right clicking on the wife does not allow a "break up with x" option.

I haven't been able to invite children to court, but I haven't tried excommunicating them yet. Ultimately, only my youngest child (born after wife's claim was pressed) is married because she's in my court. The others might end up dying childless.

 

[jonjowett]

I am not able to kill my wife because she is my lover. Unlike if a character has a non-spouse as a lover, right clicking on the wife does not allow a "break up with x" option.

I haven't been able to invite children to court, but I haven't tried excommunicating them yet. Ultimately, only my youngest child (born after wife's claim was pressed) is married because she's in my court. The others might end up dying childless.

If you can invite her to a private conversation (great work feature) then you can attempt to kill her.

If you excommunicate her and are zealous then you will be able to duel her. If you win, you always have the option to kill your opponent.

In my previous post, I suggested you could try excommunicating the mother, to decrease her children's opinion of her, which might make it easier to bring them to your court.

If your daughter married non-matrilinearly, you may be able to invite her husband to your court. If so, murder him and marry your daughter to someone else. Warning: Sometimes people will leave your court the day after their spouse dies; for this reason, it's always best to have their replacement spouse already in your court so you can hold the funeral and wedding on the same in-game day.