Why are there no eligible women?

[Magnificent Genius]

So, I'm a duke, playing in 769 start. I'm about twenty years in, and I am into my second generation of rulers.

I have two problems. One, there seems to be absolutely zero women of duke-rank for me to marry, and two, because I can only marry members of my own household, which for some strange reason DOES NOT INCLUDE MY OWN SON, I couldn't marry him off anyway.

I can't invite him because he is in another court, and abroad(what the heck this means I have no clue).

So how am I going to marry off my heir? Every time I have played this game, this is where I have stopped, because I can never find anyone to marry my heirs to, and it is frustrating, and this second wrinkle is even more frustrating.

I want to play this game, and enjoy this game, but this is getting ridiculous.

*calming breaths*

 

[Brodacious]

Well, don't expect duchesses to line up to marry you for your male children to steal their land from her family. They are not gonna marry another ruler, more than likely.

If your son is a ruler( a count probably in your game), he is not in your court so you have no control over him. You can offer marriages but he gets to choose if he accepts. Abroad may mean he is either being educated by some other ruler(if he is still a child) or he is on a council and performing a job. Or he could be in a dank dark dungeon.

Might also help to know where you are and what religion.

 

[KylesWorld]

Basic questions:
1. You're clicking the gold rings next to the character portrait right and not the Marriage button on the diplo options? Gold Rings = External / Marriage button = within your court.
2. Right click your sons portrait and click the 'go to' button to see where he is or hover the mouse over his icon and the tool tip should tell you a little more about him. Is he a ruler of something already or part of a council elsewhere?

 

[GCRust]

769 is a bad start date for the marriage game. There's only a handful of noble born women in 769, and the bulk of them are in Lombardy for the Charlie events. Heck, depending on where you start, even two centuries in there's a scarcity of eligible females.

 

[Aardvark Bellay]

Females to marry are reduced in start dates to improve performance. It used to be better.....a long time ago.
Take the prestige hit. It's not as bad as it seems most of the time.
Also, search for brides whose greatparent(s) were higher up in rank to prevent this, as this still counts.

 

[Magnificent Genius]

Also, search for brides whose greatparent(s) were higher up in rank to prevent this, as this still counts.

How do I do that? Is it the "Great House, Yes/No" filter?

 

[Dahoota]

What religion are you? Usually when this happens it's because you are playing one of the minority religions with few other members in their religion group (Zunist, Judaism, Zoroastrian, etc).

Usually I just take the prestige hit and introduce debutants if I'm desperate.

 

[Dragatus]

How do I do that? Is it the "Great House, Yes/No" filter?

It's a start, but what you actually need to do is check their family tree. But I frankly wouldn't bother and would pick a wife with good stats instead. Prestige really isn't all that important, unless you tribal.

 

[brifbates]

The marriage list isn't the best place to go looking I've found. I almost always use the full character finder instead, especially early game when, as you've noted, the high ranking brides just don't exist. That list also includes things like the catholics in muslim courts that you could invite then marry but can't marry directly due to their liege considering you a heathen. The same applies even moreso to concubinage if you are a tribal of one of the monogamist religions...

 

[Metanetwork]

Go in the character finder.
Gender->Women
Prisoner->No
Married->No
Ruler->Yes
Adult->Yes (unless you are planning for a bethrotal)

If their opinion of you is high enough, they might accept a marriage offer from you even if it is not matrilineal.

To find women who are not rulers but might be heirs, ignore the "ruler" filter and put Great House->Yes instead. Great house filters character whose dynasty has at least 5 prestige (ie. all people with a count or above in their dynasty, plus some who have many barons). You will still have to verify where they are in the line of succession.

Female rulers are incredibly rare to find if you are in North Africa or the Middle East (muslims are stuck with agnatic succession unless they have the notable status of women law). Consider marrying the daughter or younger sister of a ruler instead (which will let you inherit claims, give you an opinion bonus from her relatives and allow you to form an alliance. Not as good as getting free titles but still close).

As for your son, he is currently in the court of another ruler. This is what "abroad" means. You cannot arrange a marriage between two people who are not at your court, so either your son or the wife-to-be will have to come at your court (your son will return at your court if he becomes the player character).

 

[Magnificent Genius]

Thank you gentlemen, your advice has been most helpful. I appreciate it very much.

This is why I love the Paradox community, everyone is always willing to help out the guys who don't know what they are doing.

 

[Stolen Rutters]

As for your son, he is currently in the court of another ruler. This is what "abroad" means. You cannot arrange a marriage between two people who are not at your court, so either your son or the wife-to-be will have to come at your court (your son will return at your court if he becomes the player character).

And to expand on this, if your son gets hold of land of his own, he forms his own court and he is STILL not in your court. He chooses who to marry at that point, but you might be able to set him up with a maiden within your court if they meet his standards. He can still be your heir and you would combine the realms once your present character dies and he inherits, but you can't pick his wives in the mean time.