stnylan: You really think I would do such a thing?
lifeless: You'll see.
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1901
Jan 2 - The UK creates Australia. Austria sues for copyright infringement.
Aug 6 - Mexico insults us! We demand an apology!
Mexico: Screw you!
1901
1902
Mar 4 - The South Leeward Islands explode in a volcano.
FrenchPrez: *laughs* Stupid Americans! We got you that time!
1903
Jan 3 - Cuban problems.
Cuban1: Give us independence or we'll blow up something!
Cuban2: For the Republic! *explodes*
CSA:
Cuba was established as a Confederate satellite.
Apr 8 - The Battleships are complete. CSS
Confederacy, Louisiana, and Tennessee are ready to kick some ass.
Apr 12 - A great military parade is held in Montgomery, Alabama. (the capital) Obviously, everybody's ready to kick some ass.
May 5 - We DoW Columbia.
Prez: Give the people what they want!
Oct 30 - In the middle of our war, Cali refuses to renew our alliance.
CSA: *sobs and lays on the couch eating buckets of ice cream*
1904
Feb 11 - Cali comes crawling back after DoWing Mexico.
Prez: What kind of fool do you think I am?
May 12 - We took our rage out on the poor Columbians, so they give us their entire coastline and Panama.
Columbian: *hiding under the bed* Please, take it all, just go!
Jun 10 - We give our USCA friends/satellites Upper Panama for 4 techs.
Oct 20 - Mexico defeats Cali, takes some provinces. See, that's what you get, you unfaithful harlot.
1905
1906
May 20 - 60 divisions mobilized and placed. We DoW Mexico. Cali jumps in.
Aug 6 - Mexico is crushed. We force them to disarm and take Buena Vista.
Nov 19 - We can now use gas attacks, scientists report.
Prez: Excellent....excellent.... *evil laughter*
Mexico: .... F**k!
1907
Oct 24 - We buy the Windward Isles and Trinidad/Tabago for $500,000.
Prez: We're rolling in the money! *bathes in quarters*
1908
Sept 18 - After buttering up Denmark, we buy the Virgin Islands for $680,000. This goes a little bit over budget, so we start saving money again.
1909
1910
Apr 5 - A unknown man burst into the President's office, demanding the CSA attack Italy and liberate Ethiopia. Some merit was seen in the idea, but due to the impending re-invasion of Mexico, it must be put on hold.
Also, the unknown man got an asskicking from the Secret Service.