What's the worst possible next dlc?

[invaderk]

To address more newcomer to the game and casual gamers, both key demographics to the 4 year old CK2, the next DLC will feature these:

All portraits will be 3D animated. According to the opinion of the characters they will look angry, indifferent or happy.

Voice Acting featuring several stereotypical accents depending on the player's or character's culture and religion. Maybe problematic from a politically correct, race sensitive point of view, but entertaining anyway. Just imagine Italian, Indian, Nubian, Jewish, Dutch and French accents! They will not only read out event texts and messages ("Jour 'umble Shansellorè Etienne", "Dat olt wunt off jurrs hazz finahli hiealt, batt æ skarr rimejns.") ...
... , but also any kind of menu interaction ("Select Character. Select Spouse. Send Gift. Yes." , "Intrigue. Leader of Plot 'Fabricate Claim'. End Plot." , "Menu. Game Options. Audio. Speech Volume. Set to Zer...")

Scenarios that take place on a small fracture of the map (down to 10 provinces) during a limited period of time (min. 2 years, max. 8 years). Already confirmed are scenarios for the "6th Croatian Revolt for Lower Crown Authority" , "Kevin of Kevin's Host Claim for Uyghur" and "Aztec Invasion of Estonia"

 

[CaoSong]

Sneak peak #1 29/03/2016: Remaking the wheel!

Hi guys, it's been a long break since the release of our last DLC, Conclave, and we're actually surprised at the amazing outpouring of support for the many changes we made. However, there was quite a lot of criticism too, and many of us at Paradox feel that perhaps we should slow down and focus on smaller expansions in the future. I wholeheartedly and completely reject this approach and it's time to 'double down' and completely re-invent the game that we love!

CK2 currently relies upon the Feudal System, in which counts are vassals to dukes who are vassals to kings etc. However, this is unrealistic. Titles are really nothing but complicated names and in real life even an Emperor can be a vassal to another ruler! In the coming, as-yet-untitled expansion, this will change. Rather than vassalising rulers directly, you must get the other ruler to agree a 'vassalage treaty' with you. Vassals will provide a small amount of prestige and piety every month, until you sign another "formalise vassalage" treaty which means they will also be able to educate children for you and start factions. After formalising the vassalage, you need to negotiate "confirm vassalage" to seal the deal. Confirmed vassals will give you small numbers of troops, perhaps 20 at most, but demesne levies and retinues have been re-balanced too. A large army in the Charlemagne start date might include as many as 200 men! Retinues have been re-done, each retinue unit now contains a single soldier who gets recruited individually. Vassalage treaties last until one of the ruler dies, at which point they must be re-negotiated.

We know how much people disliked the Coalitions system, but I really don't have the patience to deal with all the various whiners who do nothing but make exaggerated complaints about how the game is supposedly "broken". So we've decided to introduce "expanded alliances". You can sign an Expanded Alliance treaty with any ally, and upon signing it an attack on any of the parties allied with any of the parties allied with any of the parties allied with any of the parties is considered an act of war. You can refuse to honour an Expanded Alliance (as long as the attack isn't against your ally or your ally's ally) but at the cost of a considerable sum of prestige and a "treacherous little blighter!" -25 opinion penalty with all characters. If an alliance lasts for more than 20 years it is automatically upgraded into an Expanded Alliance.

Now that this has been dealt with, we'll move on to one of the more spectacular features of the DLC: enhanced Finno-Urgic cultures. Previously the vast Taiga belt tended to get conquered by steppe nomads or Russians, but this never happened in history until long into the modern era. The Taiga was highly-defensible and impossible for any 'civilised' nation to rule. In the DLC, all Finno-Urgic characters get the "Taiga Tribal Government" government type. Taiga Tribals can only own Taiga holdings, which are off-map and impossible to besiege or capture. If Taiga Tribes occupy a non-Taiga province they can't hold it directly, they have to repeatedly press an annoying little button every three months in order to sow the area with pine trees. This increases revolt risk since people don't like trees in their fields, so beware! Turning a province into Taiga will make it completely useless to everyone else and generate another off-map Taiga Holding for the tribe to use.

Taiga Tribes are stuck in Taiga Succession until they reform, which is complicated, slightly buggy and basically means that everyone is guaranteed to hate their liege always. Once a Taiga Tribe reforms they get a special conquest CB that targets entire de-jure empires and can raid using their court chaplain.

I hope this sneak peak gets you all excited for the future of Crusader Kings!

Not gonna lie, forgot what thread I was in, and I thought you were serious till the Finno-Urgic part lol

 

[Dahoota]

India. Oh, wait. China, then.
Or worse: expanded Africa.

Call me crazy, expanding the map of Africa a little either west or south might not be the worst idea. West Africa is a pretty irrelevant area of the map atm. Connecting it to the sea or the east might help instead of an obsurd trans-saharan connection (TBH I didn't think it should have been added in the first place).

The current state of it doesn't do nearly enough justice to medieval Mali's rich history.

Just a thought.

 

[Evan05]

A sunset invasion 2.0, this time it's the Iroquois invading.

 

[caalexand]

I feel like this thread has really gotten off track, so I'm gonna take it back to the main subject:
China.

 

[airpirate]

Zhongguo

 

[Urzhail64]

A sunset invasion 2.0, this time it's the Iroquois invading.

You can call that "The Last of the Mohicans DLC" *rimshot* Including repeating muskets !

Now for my own candidate for the worst possible DLC: The Anime Portrait:Sailor Moon DLC.

 

[orochi2k]

You can call that "The Last of the Mohicans DLC" *rimshot* Including repeating muskets !

Now for my own candidate for the worst possible DLC: The Anime Portrait:Sailor Moon DLC.

After you defeat both the last of the Mohicans and Sailor Moon, you will find all those nightmares were summoned by an evil sorcerer who lives in China.
Now, you will need to crusade to China (first, take down the level 999 great wall on the border), kill the bad guy and claim the holy bonsai tree as reward

New culture: Chinese. Special feature, when playing a Chinese character, all the text in game will be forced to localized to Chinese (Well, this is actually not bad...)

 

[szmik]

Zombie Apocalypse DLC - give random courtiers Zombie trait -> infertility, can't get sick/stressed/depressed, can't die naturally. It randomly attacks another courtier and based on personal combat ability it either infects or is killed. Zombie can be attacked (dueled) by anyone or plot murdered. If there're say 10 zombies in court, they take over holding and spread to other holdings or neighbour counties. Upon taking a county they get event troops - heavy infantry only. Upon winning siege they infect courtiers in captured holding, while some escape to other courts.

 

[Vindahl]

Alien Invasion

 

[Mudcrab]

Now for my own candidate for the worst possible DLC: The Anime Portrait:Sailor Moon DLC.

CK DLCs stoop to depths at times, but never to that diabolical extent (conclave and CoAs excepted). Small mercies.

 

[DesNibelungen]

Now for my own candidate for the worst possible DLC: The Anime Portrait:Sailor Moon DLC.

On the contrary, this would be the best DLC. Take my money, Paradox!

 

[stoneroots]

Japan. It already exists Sengoku to play with samurais.

 

[raistlin_wizard]

As a roleplay oriented player, I must say that the worst, worst thing, is when a developer THINKS, that he is doing something for the roleplayers. WoL has nothing to do with roleplay, nothing at all. And don't get me started on this sickness DLC nonsense.

If Way of Life is the concept they have about roleplay God saves us all.

 

[siempie78]

Anything that would increase map size.