We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly. You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
I've decided the worst things I've ever did was this....I think I posted this before, but It bears repeating.
In the 2.4.5 patch, I once had a Kingdom that had *just* converted to Christianity and I had landed two of my ruler's sons. (I'm the type that trusts family) . They both took the seduction trait and tried to seduce EVERYTHING in the realm that they could. This included their sisters. Investigating this further revealed that there was one sister that they hadn't touched, despite the fact that she was almost seventeen. Apparently I overlooked this daughter when I was converting family members. I chose to use this as an opportunity for SCIENCE! and made her convert, taking note of the day she accepted. They must have been waiting in the bushes or something. The poor girl wound up pregnant with the child of one and as the lover to the other within days of that happening.
In all honesty, the most despicable thing I've accomplished is castrating five year olds. I like playing in the Byzantine culture group so I can blind and castrate. It's a fun alternative, and I've yet to have any comeuppance.
I as the Karlings conquered all of main land Europe (except Scandinavia), North Africa, the Byzantines, and every Cathar Holy Site. (note one of my mods moves the Canterbury holy site to Paris so the British Isles were not touched) Oh and I spread the glorious Karling dynasty to be the rulers of India, the Vikings, Ireland, and the remainder of the Abbasids I did not conqueror via marriage and assassinations.
I as the Karlings conquered all of main land Europe (except Scandinavia), North Africa, the Byzantines, and every Cathar Holy Site. (note one of my mods moves the Canterbury holy site to Paris so the British Isles were not touched) Oh and I spread the glorious Karling dynasty to be the rulers of India, the Vikings, Ireland, and the remainder of the Abbasids I did not conqueror via marriage and assassinations.
Played a duke with an insane intrigue value in Byzantium, I picked seduction and cucked half of the realm, and married my various lovers to random people to cover for the birth of my bastards. Also I switched wives multiple times when their portraits turned ugly.
Meanwhile I cucked and killed two emperors to seize the throne, then murdered all powerful vassals that didn't like me.
In the end I had like 20 sons but only a few of them legitimate, I eliminated the persian threat in the east and made Byzantium great again.
this may seem tame to the WWII-level war crimes of spreading the Karling dynasty, but one time my character (kaiser Ludendorf or HRE) had 5 sisters, all of whom were... i banged THEM ALL! also Ludendorf was insane. so hey, bat-shit crazy incest cuckolding. minus the dragons it sounds like an episode and a half of GoT.
I married my son to a princess, had an affair with my new daughter-in-law, had a bastard daughter with her, imprisoned and executed my son, married my daughter-in-law and had an affair with my bastard daughter.
This was over a year ago. Started a game as Byzantine emperor. Emperor died, young child becomes emperor. Whilst in regency, Duke of Serbia (Dulkjanin guy) created Kingdom of Serbia title. Before viceroyalties were a thing having king level vassals was a pain in the ass. Vassal king of Serbia then goes on a land-grabbing spree, stealing vassals all over the empire. He ends up with most of the dukes of Greece as his vassals, holds land in Anatolia and vassals in Anatolia too. He is very powerful. I can do nothing for my entire reign because, during regency, crown laws set to nil.
My emperor is finally 80-odd years old, sick and decrepid. I know he will die any day. I pause the game, spam "imprison" button on every single Dulkjanin in the realm. If I remember correctly there were like 40-50. If imprisonment failes, I simply spam it again until it works.
Game still paused, every single Dulkjanin in my dungeon, including the king, his wife and any females pregnant with Dulkjanin babies. Every single one of them was executed, including the pregnant women and children. King of Serbia was then castrated and released. My emperor dies within seconds of unpause.
I was most unhappy that he created high titles without my permission and started appropriating MY vassals for himself. Most unhappy indeed.
- Be Me
- Be Ned Stark
- Usurp Iron Throne
- Decide to get some Targaryean in my bloodline
- Marry Jon Snow to Daenarys
- Jealous
- Begin Affair with Daenarys
- Decide to kill Catelyn
- Kill Jon
- Marry Daenarys
- Profit????
- Be Me
- Be Ned Stark
- Usurp Iron Throne
- Decide to get some Targaryean in my bloodline
- Marry Jon Snow to Daenarys
- Jealous
- Begin Affair with Daenarys
- Decide to kill Catelyn
- Kill Jon
- Marry Daenarys
- Profit????
This isn't horrible per se and is kind of close to an AAR, but I basically exploited game mechanics to spread my dynasty throughout Europe and become the most powerful individual in the game, without actually using any cheats or save scumming. This was prior to the Conclave DLC, so I don't know if it still works.
I started out as Rothard Welf, the Count of Lorraine and Sundgau during the Charlemagne start date. Through the normal claim fabrication and shrewd war declaration I conquered Nordgau and achieved independence within Charlie's Francia from the duchy of Allemania and proclaimed myself Duke of Alsace in 800. Conquests in this manner continued of the duchies of Upper and Lower Lorraine, which the son of Rothard held in 829, with which I declared myself King of Alsace-Lorraine (don't like Lotharangia), after achieving independence from a weakened West Francia, thanks to Gavelkind inheritance in Francia.
The part where I started to exploit the mechanics was thanks to Eugenics and the Elective Monarchy Succession. I groomed all my heirs for Stewardship and picked the Rulership Focus for all my rulers, whilst ensuring that my most promising child was married off to a genius. Not spectacular in itself, until you realize that the high Stewardship, combined with a centralized realm allowed me to have a very large demesne, so large in fact that I was able to manage all 9 counties of the Kingdom by myself, which in turn meant I had not vassals eligible to cast a vote for my successor but me. Whilst only 2 out of my 11 kings thus far were geniuses, they only had positive nicknames, like "the just" and "the wise". The excess sons I married off to female rulers to spread my dynasty.
Whilst this made my realm incredibly stable, it also made it incredibly wealthy and strong. Thus I was delighted when Crusades became a thing, as I forcefully spread my dynasty across infidel kingdoms. As holding more titles would interfere with my succession strategy however, I decided to grant them independence under Welf kings. However before doing all that I ensured that I upgraded my kingdom to an empire, which gave me a higher demesne limit and thus was also able to absorb the duchy of Luxembourg with all its holdings.
And thus here I am in the year 1127. All my empty holdings have been built into cities and I thus now have a realm size of 57, with a demesne size of 13 and no vassals beyond baron-tier.
My dynasty has held thus far:
4 times an Empire title
44 times a Kingdoms title
129 times a Duchy title
364 times a County title
134 times a Barony title
which gives my dynasty a prestige score of 4284
Currently members of my Dynasty hold (sometimes multiple titles at once):
Empire of Alsace-Lorraine
Empire of Carpathia
Kingdom of Alsace-Lorraine
Kingdom of Andalusia
Kingdom of Asturias
Kingdom of Bavaria
Kingdom of Castille
Kingdom of France
Kingdom of Galicia
Kingdom of Navarra
Kingdom of Panonia
Kingdom of Portugal
and a myriad of counties, duchies and baronies
My Empire can field around 32k troops, if all levies are ready and additionally a retinues of 500 Light Cavalry and 750 Heavy Cavalry. My Empire generates 765 gold a year in profit. This makes me strong enough to win basically any war, even win against a Jihad mostly on my own (save for a few allied stacks that constantly get wiped by the enemy) and wealthy enough bankroll any war I take an interest in.
As said before this isn't cruel or horrible per se, but I am ruthlessly spreading my dynasty throughout Europe and if you only look wrong at one of my family members, then I will bring your entire family down and replace them with my own.
I don't have the energy to write a full AAR on this, thus I avoided posting there and instead wrote this here.
My current (and thus far best) ruler and a dynasty map showing the extend of the Welf dynasty thus far:
My own little demesne/realm:
We are actually still not the most prestigious dynasty, but as the Isaurian dynasty has been toppled within the Byzantine Empire (bankrolled by me), we should soon hold that honour:
This is Awesome!!! But im curious, how did you mange to beat the Umyyads if you started from 769?!?! Most of my 769 games the muslims take over all of spain, and by 900s to 1100s they can field a 50k man army.
Back in the day I used to murder-plot my way to different titles. Can't do that anymore after they added in the varied death sounds. It just makes me want to cry.
I loved that iconic death sound, it was classic! If you miss it do what i did and make it the default text ringer on your phone... so everytime you get a text its "AAARRGH!"
Playing a MP game yesterday I had gotten 15 prisoners.
And since I had made a habit of putting people in the Oubilette, in they all went.
Including a 5 and a 7 year old.
This was over a year ago. Started a game as Byzantine emperor. Emperor died, young child becomes emperor. Whilst in regency, Duke of Serbia (Dulkjanin guy) created Kingdom of Serbia title. Before viceroyalties were a thing having king level vassals was a pain in the ass. Vassal king of Serbia then goes on a land-grabbing spree, stealing vassals all over the empire. He ends up with most of the dukes of Greece as his vassals, holds land in Anatolia and vassals in Anatolia too. He is very powerful. I can do nothing for my entire reign because, during regency, crown laws set to nil.
My emperor is finally 80-odd years old, sick and decrepid. I know he will die any day. I pause the game, spam "imprison" button on every single Dulkjanin in the realm. If I remember correctly there were like 40-50. If imprisonment failes, I simply spam it again until it works.
Game still paused, every single Dulkjanin in my dungeon, including the king, his wife and any females pregnant with Dulkjanin babies. Every single one of them was executed, including the pregnant women and children. King of Serbia was then castrated and released. My emperor dies within seconds of unpause.
I was most unhappy that he created high titles without my permission and started appropriating MY vassals for himself. Most unhappy indeed.
This one made me actually laugh, because i did something very similar in my last campaign, with the difference that i gave the last surviving Dukljanin a barony in Raugia, as a kind of "reservation". At the end of the game, there were 32 of his dynasty in that barony, but nowhere else in the world..
I feel almost pure. The worst thing I did recently was small potatoes:
Seduce my childless brother's wife/spymaster to gain the plot power to assassinate him and inherit his land. But oh no...she became pregnant and passes the child as her husband's, right before my dear brother fails to learn how to fly.
There's only one solution: "Hey little kid who looks suspiciously like me! Would you like to go on a hunting trip?"
So yeah, cuckolding my brother to make it easier to kill him, and then murdering my secret bastard daughter. All in a days work in the Middle Ages.
