Update I: "Alberto Pariani"
January 1st, 1936:
This was not turning out to be a good day for Marshall Alberto Pariani, the chief of the Italian Army. As he walked through the cold, crisp air of the first day of 1936, a vast sense of meaninglessness and discontentment threatened to drive him insane. Perhaps this is what happened to Mussolini, he thought.
The…..situation regarding the Italian dictator was getting worse and worse, but nothing could prepare Pariani for what he was about to see.
He walked past the two guards guarding the door to the dictator’s chamber. He opened the door and walked in. Mussolini was dressed in a bed sheet. He wore sandals and a weird crown of fig-like leaves around his head. Pariani groaned silently, then said,
“Sir…..”
“That’s ‘Your Imperial Majesty’ to you!” Mussolini roared. “You will address the Great Caesar with proper honor and respect! He who will single-handedly return Italy to its proper place of greatness, and re-create the Roman Empire will not be referred to as a mere FIELD MARSHALL!”
“Uh….well, Your Imperial Majesty, here’s the report you requested about,” Pariani glanced down to read the title of the 103-page report, “about the military, political, and economic situation of Tanna Tuva. I spent a couple of weeks on it…”
“Excellent,” Caesar, uh…Mussolini, growled. “It is best to have full information about potential enemies BEFORE you fight them. But I’m sure you didn’t know that, Pariani,” Mussolini sighed, “They just don’t make generals like they used to. Back when I was conquering Iberia and Gaul….”
Pariani hurriedly left the room. Mussolini was actually beginning to believe that he was a reincarnation of Caesar. It was very sad. “It’s very sad,” one of the guards said sympathetically. Pariani jumped… “How did I penetrate your deepest thoughts?” asked the guard, who spent the next ten minutes explaining how he had, through his powers of observation and deduction, figured that Pariani was pondering the sad state of the Italian dictator.
Pariani was astounded. But it all sounded vaguely familiar…like something he read from his childhood. But, unfortunately, he had to get back to work; some sort of staff report about the oil reserves in….what was the name of that place? Armenia? No….Kazakhstan! That was it….
Pariani walked back to the Vast Super-Center for Military Stuff (VSCMS). The unofficial and therefore most widely used name for the VSCMS was the “Heptagon.” It was roughly in the shape of a heptagon, and covered an enormous amount of space. Pariani had a suspicion that it was mostly wasted, and that Heptagon’s primary purpose was to impress the militaries of other countries…but oh well.
The Field Marshall took the elevator up to the sixth floor and stepped out, nearly running into the portly frame of the Chief of Staff, Francesco Grazioli.
